Becoming Anastasia Steele
by SdaisyS
Summary: She's on the run. When she ends up in a small town in Washington & meets a little boy & his family, she decides to stay. She lets her guard down around Christian, the man of her dreams, but can she forget about her past and the man who still haunts her? Can she learn to trust again? She'd better because her life may depend on it if he finds her. *Inspired by Safe Haven* AU
1. On The Run

.

 ** _Four Months Earlier_**

 ** _~Prologue~_**

 **Apov**

"Are you sure I can't park closer to the door, sweetheart?" He asks me as he pulls over, a few blocks away from my destination.

It's quite the walk, and it is freezing outside, but there are cameras. It wouldn't be a good idea to get his plates on camera.

"Here is fine." I assure him.

"Call us," He tells me, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "We want to know you're safe."

"I will." I promise.

I have to gather every once of strength I have left just to open the door of his Audi SUV. It was a gift from their youngest grandson.

Before I get out, I turn and kiss the old man on his cheek and thank him for everything he and his wife have done for me. Not just for tonight, but over the past few months I've known them.

With one last goodbye, I begin my journey alone.

Detroit winters are brutal, and tonight is no better especially with the blizzard warning in place. We always seem to get a lot of snow in January. It's falling down fast, the wind is blowing hard, and the temperature is freezing. No end of winter in sight. I'm cold, wet and uncomfortable, and the wind slapping and stinging my wet face as it blows is nearly brutal.

I pull my winter coat tighter to keep warm and as dry as I can, but with my bag of what little I packed tucked under my shirt to appear as though I'm larger, or pregnant, is in the way. It's keeping my midsection warmer, though.

The walk is taking longer than I'd like. He could show up at any second but there are still a few blocks left before I reach the bus station. I'm walking as fast as I can in the snow, but I don't want it to appear noticeable that I'm in a hurry so it's taking all my self-control to walk and not run. I'm trying to blend in so if anyone asks about a runaway, nobody will have saw anything suspicious.

Finally inside the bus station, I look back out through the large windows and watch as he waits for me to be safely on a bus before he returns home.

Making sure the borrowed blonde bob wig is still in place from the wind, and my hood for extra coverage is up, I make my way to the ticket windows.

It feels as if everyone I pass is looking at me. The blood is no longer on me, I've cleaned up, but it feels as if it is. It's like they know what I did and know exactly what I'm doing here.

At the window, I chose a woman instead of a man to help me. I'm not naïve, and I'm not conceded either, but men notice women far more than women notice other women. Unless they are a lesbian. _Gosh, I hope she's not_. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it would be bad for me if he somehow found where I went and asked around, only to be told exactly where I went by someone who thought I was pretty. Hopefully the blonde wig and the false pregnant belly are enough of a disguise.

I try to act as naturally and normal as I can, not to draw any unnecessary attention to myself as I purchase a bus ticket. Anywhere away from here, it doesn't matter where, but with it being winter up north, I choose somewhere south to start. I decide on a city that has another large bus terminal; an easy way to hop on another bus, then another, getting further and further way from the danger that is lurking here.

Once I have my one-way ticket, I hide in the women's bathroom the few minutes I need to wait until it's time to board.

When I hear my bus being called, I keep my head down and make my way back outside.

The white Audi SUV is still sitting in the spot I left it, thankfully camouflaged with the snow. From the distance I can no longer see the elderly man inside. I would wave, one last thank you and goodbye, but I don't want any attention on him or in the direction he's in. He doesn't need to be in trouble because of me.

Boarding the bus going south, to warmer weather, I get a few questioning looks that make my heart speed up a million miles per minute. The feeling is worse than when people were looking at me inside the bus station.

I choose a sit in the back and the furthest away from others, only a few people are sitting near me, nothing like the front of the bus.

Sirens being heard coming closer cause me to panic. _Shit!_ But as I glance in that direction, the squad car speeds off down the road, slushing dirty snow aside as it goes.

Calm once again, though I think I'll only be calm once this bus moves, I settle in for the long trip. I discreetly move my bag out from inside my shirt and hold it to me.

Finally finished boarding, the doors close and the bus begins to move. I breath a sigh of relief that I made it this far, but I've made it this far before...

Looking back, one last time, I see the Audi pull away and go back in the direction we came from.

As the bus drives through the city, all I can think about is how I have no idea how I will survive.

I may not know where I'm going to end up, and I wont have shelter or a job, but I do know... I am _never_ going back.

* * *

 **A/N: _So here is the start of my new story... As I've said in my summary, this story IS_ inspired _by_ Safe Haven _.  
Just like with the 50 fics, I'm not claiming to own anything I just didn't have enough room in my summary to add all the disclaimer stuff that I usually put there, and I'm not going to add a disclaimer to every update when it's obvious I don't own _Safe Haven _OR_ Fifty Shades of Grey _. No profit is being made by writing fanfiction.  
Since this story_ is _inspired by_ Safe Haven _, it WILL be similar, but like all my other fics, with a twist._**

 ** _Don't forget to join me on Facebook in the group lanieloveu & I created:  
_FSoG Fanfic Obsessed**


	2. Her New Life

**Apov**

It's late-spring and I'm still on the run. I'm surprised I haven't been caught yet but I think it's because I keep moving, never really staying in one place for long. I've been working jobs that pay in tips so I have cash right away, instead of waiting for a paycheck, that way, if needed, I can leave at a moment's notice. I take another bus to another town and leave everything behind.

I started going south but now that it's warmer weather, I'm up north. In Washington to be exact. Everyone here is so nice and friendly, and the views are beautiful.

But I'm still completely terrified that I will be found. It was close once.

A few weeks or so after I left, I saw an unmarked police car near the bar I was working. I can't be sure if it was found, if it was him or not, but I left anyway.

If only there were a place with no police. I've learned there are a lot of cops in the bigger cities, more crime, so I've been sticking with small towns. However, the only thing with small towns, people talk and gossip. I'm quiet, not really talking to anyone or bringing any attention to myself, but I know they all wonder what my story is. Before long, I move on to the next town.

I've been here, living in this small town in Washington just a few short hours away from Seattle, for about a month. I wasn't planning on staying here this long, usually only staying in one place for a couple weeks at the most, but something about this place felt... safe. I haven't felt that in such a long, long time. I really like it here so I decided to find a more permanent place to live, instead of the cash only motels I have been staying at. I'm only renting of course, and it's nothing fancy, just a small cottage in the woods, but it's walking distance from the shopping center. And the plus side is it's only twenty minutes from where I work.

Mama Mia's is a restaurant in the heart of downtown. I don't think they were hiring when I walked in but as luck would have it, the owner was there that day and she gave me the job.

 _Ding Ding_

The bell announcing food is ready brings me from my thoughts.

I'm working a double again, needing to save as much money as I can for when I leave, not that I want to leave, it's just inevitable. I can't stay in one place too long no matter how much I like it here.

When I arrive at the window, there's nothing there, not even the bell.

 _Ding Ding_

I hear it again.

I look for the cook, we're not busy today so we only have one on duty, but I don't see anyone in the kitchen. I have a couple tables, but only one waiting for food.

Looking around and through the windows, I notice Gail's car in the parking lot. She's the head cook here so maybe she came to replace the cook that was on duty earlier? If she's here, where is she? And who rang the bell?

 _Ding Ding_

I hear the bell again.

This time, I go on a hunt. Walking around the counter, I hear it again. It's coming from under the prep table where the waitress gather drinks or if we need extra silverware or napkins. I heard someone call it the wait station. I'm not sure if that's what it's called or if they were making a joke.

Just as the bell rings again, I crouch down and spot the little boy who is grinning at being caught.

"Teddy," I giggle at the nephew of my boss. Just saying his name brings me comfort. "What are you doing with that bell?"

He's the spitting image of his father, a mini-me at four years old. All crazy, unruly dark hair and beautiful bright grey eyes. I've never met his mother but from looking at the boy and his father, I don't think he has one. I know it's silly, he obviously has a mother, but he looks so much like his father, I see no other features as to who his mother could possibly be. The only difference, Teddy has dark brown hair while his father has hints of copper.

I sometimes wonder what happened to his mother, nobody mentions her, but I don't dare make casual conversations or ask any questions. I surely wouldn't want anyone to ask questions about my past. So I keep to myself, not gaining any friends along the way. What's the point when I'll leave again as soon as I arrive.

"Winging it." He states the obvious. Such a wise guy, he gets it from his uncle. I don't really talk much to anyone here, but I've very observant. I kind of have to be.

"Uh-huh," I'm assuming he meant 'ringing' because he can't pronounce his r's very well. "And where is your daddy?"

"Talking to Aunt Mia in da back." He tells me, pointing towards Mia's office door. "Aunt Gail brought me."

So Gail is not working today.

"Are you supposed to be hiding from her?" I ask, knowing he's not.

"Teddy?" I hear his father call for him, having just come out of the back office.

His father, while undoubtedly the most handsome man I've ever seen, he's also the most intimidating. He scares me the most out of everyone, and I don't even know why. He's a great dad, from what I see, and his family adores him, but there's just something about him that scares me. It could be his tempter? I've only seen it once, not aimed towards me of course, but I'd hate to see it again.

"He's under the table," I tell on the adorable little boy, knowing he wont be in too much trouble. "ringing the bell again."

"Teddy, how many times do I have to tell you," His father enters the area where we're at, "Leave Ana alone."

It's weird hearing them call me Ana. I was going by Anastasia but Teddy couldn't say the name well so he started to call me Ana and it just stuck. I don't mind it though.

"He's no bother." I assure him. In fact, Teddy brings me a calm like nobody else before. I use to think it was his name, but I think it's also his innocence.

"Where's Gail?" Christian asks his son, "She was supposed to be watching you."

As I stand, helping Teddy out from under the table, I see Gail coming back inside.

"There you are." She lightly scolds little Teddy. "I'm sorry, sir, he slipped away while my back was turned."

Just then, the cook on duty comes in through the side door, having just finished smoking. Ugh, I hate working with him, he smokes so much and takes way too many breaks that I lose out on tips because he's screwing around and my costumers have to wait longer.

Why can't he smoke _after_ he cooks the food and has no orders? It's just gross!

I roll my eyes as he _just now_ starts to make the food for my table.

When I look back at Gail, Teddy and his father, they're talking about Teddy and him knowing he shouldn't leave Gail's side, but the dark look I get from Christian sends a shiver down my spine. I've yet to figure out if the feeling is good or bad.

I blush and put the bell back in it's rightful spot before moving away.

Lilly, the hostess, sets a group of guys at a table in my section so I make my way over to them as I scan the restaurant and the tables in other sections.

"Hi, welcome to Mama Mia's," I introduce myself even though I've seen them here before. I'm suspicious of newcomers, regulars I can deal with much better. "Can I start you all with something to drink?"

After they all take turns telling me what they want to drink, and staring at me, I make my way towards the drink station.

As I'm filling glasses of soda, ice tea and water, I overhear Christian talking to Mia about babysitting Teddy. They are sitting at the counter and Teddy looks bored so I make him a small chocolate milk shake.

"I told you I can't." Mia tells Christian, sounding like she's told him more than once. "Ethan is coming into town tonight and we're going to hang out."

"Teddy wouldn't be in the way."

"Christian," Mia says his name exasperated. "We're going to _hang out_ , meaning what I plan on doing shouldn't be done in front of a child."

"Mia." Christian grimaces, making a face and looking like he wants to cover both his and Teddy's ears.

"I'm 23 years old, you know I'm doing it." She laughs. "Gosh, I'd hate to see how you'd be if you had a girl instead of Teddy."

I giggle when Christian looks uncomfortable to be talking about sex with his little sister. I clear my throat and bite my lip as I continue my task, trying not to laugh again.

I finish with the drinks so I load them onto a serving tray then grab the chocolate milkshake.

"For you, little dude." I tell Teddy, placing the shake in front of him with a little wink.

He grins brightly and starts to enjoy the treat.

"Teddy, what do you say?" Christian reminds him.

"Thanks." He says to me as best as he can with his mouth full.

"You're very welcome, buddy." I smile at the cute little boy and go back to my costumers.

The bell rings again, rightfully this time, announcing food is ready.

Before I grab the food, I load up another try with drink refills then take everything to my designated costumers.

The guys who just came in are ready with their food orders so I take that and then bring it back to put it in the system so Josh will, hopefully, cook it before he takes another smoke break.

"I guess I'll just take Teddy with me." I overhear Christian say to Mia. "Ros has been bothering me about seeing him again."

 _Ros? Teddy's mother?_

"What 'bout Ana?" Teddy's little voice says after he has finished his chocolate shake.

With my name being mentioned, I turn around to face them.

"She can watch me."

"Teddy, no." Christian tells his son. I can see he doesn't feel comfortable allowing a stranger to watch his son. Not that I blame him.

"Why not?" Teddy asks.

"Because-" Christian pauses as he tries to come up with a reason. "Ana probably has to work."

I'm about to agree with Christian, but Mia chimes in before I can.

"Actually, Ana is off the next couple days, and her shift ends in an hour."

"Yay!" Teddy gets excited like it's a done deal.

Christian runs his hand through his hair, making it even more unruly, and I can see he's trying to come up with another reason as to why I can't do it.

"Would you be willing to watch Teddy for me tomorrow?" Christian reluctantly asks me. "I have to go to Seattle on business, and my family seems to be busy. I'd pay you of course."

"I- I don't-" I look between the three of them, not sure if I should agree, if Christian's only asking for the benefit of his son, or if he genuinely needs me to watch Teddy.

Sensing my hesitation, Christian gets up. He nods his head to me so I follow behind him, leaving Mia and Teddy.

He takes us to the hallway that leads to the dry storage before he stops and turns to face me.

"Listen," He says once we're out of earshot. "I wouldn't normally ask, but I'm in a bind. I could take him with me if I have to, but I'd rather not. My family usually watches him for me, but apparently they all have plans. You can say no, that's fine, but Teddy seems to like you and it's hard for me to trust just anyone."

Is he saying he trusts me? He'd have to if he's leaving his son with a total stranger. Not that I'm a complete stranger, but I don't usually talk to anyone here anymore than I have to, I usually keep to myself. I think this is the first conversation I've had with Christian. I've taken his order before, but not actually conversing. The only one I've spoken to is Kate and Teddy. And the only reason why I spoke with Kate is because she seemed like a reporter, trying to find the story of why the new girl came to town. It was raining and she offered me a ride home so I couldn't get out of the conversation but I told her what I tell anyone who asks; I was looking for a fresh start. Which is true.

"No, I- I can watch him, if you'd like. That's fine."

"Great. I have to be in Seattle tomorrow afternoon, I have a meeting just after lunch," He runs his hand through his hair, thinking. He seems to do that a lot. "Um. You know what, give me your address and I'll pick you up tomorrow before I go and you can watch Teddy at my place in Seattle. I'd rather he be close by."

 _So not so much trusting me then_. I don't blame him, I don't trust easily either.

"I um. I can just meet you here. You can pick me up here." I don't want anyone to know where I live, especially a man. Kate, who helps out at the restaurant sometimes, gives me a ride home when it's raining since that first storm. She's the only one who knows where I'm staying.

"Alright," He looks at me suspiciously. "Well, give me your number so I can call you if you're not here on time."

"I actually don't have a phone."

"What?" He asks like it's absurd that I don't. Everyone has one, but phones can be traced. "I'll get you a phone-"

"What?" It's my turn to say, interrupting him. "No, I don't want or need one."

"It's only on loan, while you watch my son." He assures me. "I need to be able to get in touch with you incase of emergencies while he's in your care."

"Oh, right. Okay."

 _Ding Ding_

"I um- I have to get back to work, but, I'll be here tomorrow. Um. What time should I be here?"

After getting the details from Christian, I go to the pick up window to get the food that is ready to be served.

I continue to work until it's closing time.

Thankfully the sun is up longer with the season change, so it's still light out while I walk home. It's not far, but with working a double and the walk home, I'm exhausted.

With what energy I have left, I find the bag I keep hidden. Unzipping it, I stuff half of my tips inside then close it back up and put it back in it's hiding spot.

Ready for a shower, I let my brunette hair down from the messy bun it's in as I walk into my small one bedroom cottage.

I was going to cut my hair but decided against it and just used a blonde wig instead. I'm glad I didn't cut my hair, I like it long. I'm not sure if there are any 'missing' pictures of me out there, but if I keep it up, nobody will know how long it really is. Besides, it's been months and I haven't heard anything, maybe I've finally escaped and he's no longer looking.

Who am I kidding, he's always looking. And it's only a matter of time before he finds me.


	3. His Past Life

**Apov**

"No!" I scream. I'm not sure if it was a nightmare or a memory but it woke me up nonetheless.

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest, and my hair is sticking to my forehead with sweat. I rub my face with my hands and move my hair off my face as I sit up.

After getting a glass of water and calming myself down, I return to my bed since it's too early to be awake and I'm still tired. Knowing I wont get any rest, though, I don't even attempt going back to sleep. These nightmares are getting worse, with no end in sight. I'm always afraid that my nightmare is real, that I never left, that I didn't make it out alive, that he found me.

Shaking off the bad vibe the dream gave me, I lay back and think about my plans for the next two days.

Since it's the start of my days off, I get two, I would stay in bed all day. Usually I end up going to the restaurant at some point during my days off to see if anyone needs me to cover a shift for them, but I'm seriously lacking in the sleep department. It's been months, years I think, since I had a peaceful night. However, I would just have more nightmares, not getting any rest at all, and I have to watch Teddy today for Christian. I'm so excited to watch him.

I was going to shop today, but I'll have to put off going to the store until tomorrow. I'm in serious need of groceries. It's been awhile since I bought myself something, maybe I'll grab a notebook while I'm there. I've been wanting to write, reading gives me and escape, but I always thought about writing.

Just thinking about it makes me want to start now but I don't have anything to write on so I'll read now instead.

Since it's still dark out, I turn on the little lamp near my bed and grab my book. One of two that I brought with me. I've gone to the library a few times to read others, but this one is my favorite and I need something comforting right now after just having a bad dream.

If only I could really disappear into these pages.

 **...**

Halfway through, I mark the page I'm on, and get up to start my day. It's almost time to meet Christian and Teddy so I can't lay in bed and read all day, and I am getting hungry.

It's warm out, and in my cottage, so I opt for shorts and a light T-shirt. I'm only babysitting, no need to dress fancy, right?

Once I'm showered and dressed, my hair in it's usual messy bun, I walk outside to my front porch. I still have a while until I need to meet Christian so I sit on my porch steps and enjoy the fresh air. It's so nice here, more so than any place I've ever been. And even though this small cottage is all I can afford, and I have no neighbors, I feel like I'm home.

Thinking of neighbors, I'm reminded of mine from Detroit who helped me get away. I promised I would call once I was safe but I haven't felt safe until I ended up here. Maybe I'll stop running for awhile and just live... I'll need to call them, but I don't have a phone. Christian said he'd pick me up at the restaurant, per my request, I'll go there now so I can have lunch and call my only friends I left behind.

I lock up what little I have and begin my walk to the restaurant.

Along the way, I can't stop thinking about my life. Past; how much pain and hurt I've been through in my life. Present; how I'm currently living, always looking over my shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop. And future; if I have one. Once you've been hurt, it's kind of hard to get attached to someone again. Perhaps I'm distend to always be alone. _No one can hurt you if you're alone_.

The twenty minute walk was nice but it's warmer today than usually with summer on it's way.

When I arrive, I'm greeted by Emily, the hostess on duty today. I let her know I'm not working today and I'm just a costumer looking for a meal.

She sits me in the back section I requested and gives me a menu. I don't need the menu, I can't afford much so I get up and go back to the kitchen. We get free meals while on duty, but if we're not working we get a discount.

Entering the kitchen, I see Gail is not here today but thankfully Ryan isn't either. Gail must have plans like Christian's family because sometimes I notice she watches Teddy for him. It must be why he asked me, everyone who normally watches Teddy is unavailable today. I don't mind, I love the little guy.

"Hey, Kennedy." I greet the cook on duty.

"Ana," She waves her spatula at me. "You workin' today?"

"No, I'm off. I just came in for lunch." I look through the window separating the kitchen from the seating area and point out the table where I'm sitting.

"Sure, what do you want? I'll fix it right now."

"Just a turkey sandwich, I'll ring it in."

"Anything else?"

"Nope," I can't afford anything else, I need to save all the money I can. "just the sandwich."

"Toasted, right?"

"You know it."

I smile at her then grab the phone before I go to the register.

I've ate here many times before and Mia always insisted that I can either be served or put in my order myself. It's faster and easier just to do it myself.

After I put in my order and pay for my sandwich, I go back to my table and wait.

"Hey, Ana," My co-worker and assigned waitress comes to my table. "Do you know what you want yet?"

"I already put my order in, thanks."

"Oh. Sorry, I was a bit busy." She blushes, glancing at a booth her boyfriend is sitting at. "Did you get a drink?"

"Water is fine."

"Sure, be right back."

After she leaves, I dial the number I memorized a long time ago. I never kept their number written down, I wouldn't want him to see it.

A few rings in, I get their answering machine so I leave a message.

"Hey, it's me." I don't know why, but I begin to shake. "I just wanted to let you know, I'm safe. I'm sorry it took this long to call, I could never find a place that I felt safe. But, I think I finally found a safe haven, thanks to you." I didn't realize I was crying until a tear fell down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away as I continue with my message. "Thank you again, I'll never be able to repay you for what the two of you did for me. I miss you. I'll try to call back another time but I don't have a phone-"

"Ana!" Teddy's squeal calls my attention.

I quickly hang up the phone and wipe my eyes, putting on a bright smile in front of the little boy who is running my way so he doesn't ask any questions.

"Teddy, hi!" I get out of the booth I'm sitting at and bend down to hug him. "What are you doing here so early?"

"We could ask you the same thing." Christian's deep, rich voice answers when he reaches us.

They're dressed similar in plaid shorts and a T-shirt. I'm a little surprised to see Christian dressed so casual, not that he doesn't dress this way often but because he said he has a business meeting in the city. I expected him to dress a little more... sophisticated, professional, anything but casual Friday attire. And since I'm still on my knees, I'm the perfect height to notice how tight his shirt is around the muscles I know are hiding underneath.

 _Gees, he must look like Adonis naked._

 _Ana!_

"I- I came early to have lunch before we left." I say as I get off the floor before I look like an idiot.

I can't explain why I feel so nervous around him. Is it his looks? The way he seems to see straight through me? Whatever it is, he's very intimidating.

"Great minds think alike," Christian goes on to say as Teddy sits in the seat I was sitting in. "Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all." I don't see why not.

Teddy moves over so I can sit next to him in the booth and Christian sits across from us. I try to avoid his gaze because he keeps looking at me, almost to the point of blatant staring. I almost want to run to the bathroom to make sure I don't have anything on my face. Instead, I discreetly wipe my eyes again.

"Are you okay?" He finally asks.

"Yes. Fine." I smile and help Teddy with his menu, which happens to be mine that I didn't use. It's then that I notice the phone is on. I thought I turned it off? Maybe Teddy was messing with it. I click it off and then put it by me, planning to return it before we leave.

The waitress returns with my water and my sandwich, then she takes their order.

Deciding to wait until their food is here, I continue to talk with Teddy about all the letters he knows, pointing them out on the menu we still have when we find one. Just being near Teddy calms me and I really need that right now. After my nightmare and the phone call, even though it was only their voicemail, my past is really biting me today.

Thankfully Christian doesn't say anything more, I know he saw that I was upset and probably my tears, but now he's quiet.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

 _Okay, not so quiet_.

"I'm going to wait for you, I wouldn't want to be rude."

"You don't have to do that. Is that all you're going to eat?" He sounds almost as if he's scolding me. He's never spoken to me like that so I'm a little surprised and taken back by his tone.

"I'm not that hungry, I had a big breakfast." I lie.

I didn't eat breakfast at all and this sandwich is all I can afford right now. I'm not even sure what I will have for dinner tonight because I was planning to grocery shop today instead of tomorrow. I don't have the luxury of big meals, even with my employee discount, because I have to save as much as I can. I know it's not much, but it's enough. Not to mention, while I'm working, meals are free so I do eat, just not nearly as often as I should. I have lost a lot of weight since I left.

It doesn't take long for their food to come out, and then we all begin to eat together.

"Why does your bread wook wike dat?" Teddy asks of my toasted sandwich.

"Because it's toasted, silly." I giggle. "Do you want to taste it?"

He nods still looking curiously at my sandwich so I hold it for him and he takes the biggest bite I've seen a four year old take. Granted I haven't seen many four year olds before him, but it's like a man's bite.

"Is crunchy wike toast." He tells me after he's finished chewing.

"Good, huh?"

He nods his head, looking at my sandwich like he wants more. I smile and give him half.

"Teddy, no, that's Ana's."

"It's okay," I assure Christian, but he still doesn't look happy about it. "I'm still a little full from earlier."

Okay, so I am a hungry, but I'm use to not having big meals by now. I know Christian feeds his son and Teddy isn't starving, but if he wants to try a toasted sandwich, he can have some of mine. It's not a big deal.

Teddy gives me some of his fries that he can't finish so it evens out.

Once we're all done eating, Christian pays for his and Teddy's meal, then we all walk out together. Teddy is holding my hand as we follow Christian to his car. It's a black Audi SUV.

Christian opens the rear door for Teddy so I help him in and buckle him into the car seat with a little help from Christian. I've never used a car seat before so this was my first time.

"Sit back here wif me, Ana." Teddy asks, and I'm grateful to be sitting in the back instead of the front.

I walk around and get into the back passenger side, and as I do, I get the feeling of Deja-vu. It's no longer warm, it's cold, freezing, snow falling like crazy, and I'm in the front seat with the old man who drove me to the bus station nearly four months earlier instead of the back with Teddy. While the outside is different, the inside looks almost exactly the same.

"You sure you're okay?" Christian brings me from my thoughts.

"I'm fine," I smile and shake the memories from my head as I fasten my seat belt.

I wish I didn't get their machine when I called, I want to hear their voices, I want them to know I'm safe and I want the comfort they brought me.

I'll try again in a few days.

Christian doesn't question it further and starts the long drive to Seattle. I've never been, but I'm excited to go. My friends told me all about the city and what it looked like when they visited before. Something about it being an emerald city. _If only I could find the wizard of Oz while I'm there today_. They've traveled all over and they told me all about each location they've been. My favorite being Paris.

It's a couple hours drive, but Teddy keeps me entertained... that is, until he falls asleep. I don't want Christian asking anymore questions, so I pretend to nap too.

 **...**

I'm jarred awake for some reason. When I blink open my eyes, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep.

I look around and see I'm still in the back of Christian's SUV with Teddy right next to me, his little hand in mine. I wasn't holding his hand before, and I don't think I had a nightmare. Maybe I did and I don't remember?

Looking at Christian through the rearview mirror, I don't think I did because I'm sure he would look concerned.

 _Shit, I spoke too soon_. He looks worried. Maybe I did and I just don't remember it?

"We're at GEH," He announces when he parks in an underground parking garage. C. GREY stamped on the cement wall in front of us.

"GEH?" I ask him.

"Grey Enterprises and Holdings," He tells me the name before he gets out and opens Teddy's door. "Ros has been bugging me to see him."

"He's sleeping." I say instead of asking who Ros is.

"He wakes as soon as I take him out." He insists. "Whether it be here or at Escala, he'll wake and wont go back to sleep."

My head is spinning with all these names. GEH, Escala, the C. GREY stamped on the VIP parking area of this mysterious building.

Christian unstraps his son and lifts him from the car. It's like Teddy has a burst of energy, he's wide awake. I wish I felt the same, I'm still tired.

"Come on, Ana!" Teddy calls to me, still in the SUV.

I don't know why I don't just use the other door, but I crawl over the car seat and get out the already open door.

Teddy grabs my hand, and Christian's too this time, and together we walk to the elevator.

Teddy happily calls the elevator by pushing the button.

When it arrives, we all enter. The elevator has a weird energy to it.

"20, Teddy." Christian says, "No other buttons."

Teddy pouts but hits the number 20.

"Teddy likes to hit every button, making the elevator open on every floor." Christian explains.

"It's fun." Teddy insists.

"Not when it makes me late."

I stay quiet and just smile at them. They're so cute.

Since 20 is the only number glowing, it doesn't take long for us to arrive at our destination.

We step off and follow Christian, who seems to suddenly transform into someone of authority. He's standing taller, striding through the hallways with purpose. Employees walking passed us even nod their head towards him, greet him by 'Mr. Grey' or rush off in the other direction as if scared of him.

I find myself curious.

I don't know what Christian does, or anyone in town really, just those who work at the restaurant. This place is really intimidating and everyone is dressed so nice and professionally, I know it's designer brands too and not something from Old Navy. I would feel out of place if Christian and Teddy weren't wearing shorts and a T-shirt like me.

But what does Christian do here? It's quite the drive from where he lives, and his name is permanently on the cement wall in the parking garage so he has to be someone important.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey." A secretary greets him like all the others, but this one has a lusty tone.

He just nods his head and continues walking.

We enter an office with a pretty red-haired woman sitting behind a huge desk on the phone.

"I'll call you back." She says to the caller when she sees Christian, and hangs up. "Well, are you coming back or what? Have enough of Mayberry yet because I could use a little help here."

"Hello to you too, Ros." He greets her. "I brought someone to see you."

Her eyes move to me and for some reason I blush. It's like she's checking me or something. When her eyes move slowly up and down my body, I realize it may be more than checking me out.

"Hello." She smiles at me.

"Hi." I squeak nervously.

"Ros," Christian comes to my rescue. "I was talking about Teddy."

"I know that." She waves Christian off, keeping her eyes on me. "But who is this?"

"This is Ana, she's watching Teddy while I'm here."

She keeps looking at me like she wants to eat me. And I think that literally. _Is Ros gay?_ Surely that means she's not Teddy's mother, not to mention they look nothing alike.

 _Teddy!_

I put my hand on his back since he's standing behind me, and gently push my buffer forward. Though he's reluctant to go.

"Teddy?" Ros grins at him, finally moving her gaze away from me. "Oh my, the last time I saw you, you were in diapers."

"I'm a big boy." Teddy demands, upset that anyone dare bring up him in diapers.

"Then I'm sure you'll want a present?"

"Yes, please."

Ros grabs a bag from behind her desk and hands it to Teddy. He pulls out a toy helicopter.

"Charwe Tango?" He asks excited.

Now occupied with the toy, I lose my buffer.

"I'm going to take them to Escala then I'll be back," Christian tells her. "The meeting is still in an hour, right?"

She confirms then hands him a manila envelope saying everything he needs to know is there.

"Daddy, can Ana and I go now?" Teddy asks when Christian starts to look it over.

"Sure," He agrees distractedly. "meet me at the SUV."

Teddy grabs my hand and together we find the elevators again. There are a lot of questioning looks as we make our way to the elevator now that Christian is no longer with us. And I find myself watching everyone of the as if they are some sort of inside spy, out to get me or turn me in. Thankfully the elevator arrives shorty after Teddy calls for it.

I can just imagine the water-cooled talk today.

Inside the elevator, Teddy pushes the P button and the doors close. I smile remembering Christian said Teddy likes to push all the buttons. He seemed like in a hurry to get up here but now that we're heading down to the car without him, I'm sure we have plenty of time to play.

"Ding. Ding." I mimic the sound of the bell at the restaurant and push 16 on the elevator keypad since we've already passed a few floors.

Teddy's whole face lights up and together we start pressing all the buttons until the whole panel is lite up.

Every time the doors open, Teddy and I make a silly face at whoever is on the other side. A few people are waiting to board but don't when they see us. They looked shocked and just before the doors close again, they start laughing.

Soon Teddy and I start dancing instead of making the faces. We're laughing and giggling, it's the most fun I've had... Ever, I think.

The doors open again one last time, coming to a stop at the parking garage. The elevator next to us chimes its arrival and Christian steps off.

"You left before me, what took you so-" And it clicks. He smiles, shaking his head knowing we played with the buttons.

Thankfully he's not upset. I thought we would have more time.

We load into the SUV again, I sit in back with Teddy and Christian laughs at something.

"What's funny, dad?"

"I was just thinking how Taylor must've felt."

"Who's Taylor?" I find myself asking.

"Gail's husband." Christian tells me as he pulls into Seattle traffic. "I'm sure you've seen him around." I nod and he continues, "He use to work for me, Gail too. She was my house-manager, and he was my driver and personal security. That's how they met. Now Gail works at my sister's restaurant and Taylor is the town's chef of police."

I make a mental note to stay far away from Gail's husband Taylor.

But now I'm even more curious about Christian. He had personal staff, he works here, or did... I'm not really sure if he still does, but he's attending a meeting so he must. However, I don't think it's a 9-5 job because it is a long drive to make everyday from where we are to Seattle. Even a personal driver wouldn't want to make that commute daily. What is it that he does?

I don't ask anymore questions though, I wouldn't want him to ask questions about my past in return.

It doesn't take long before he's pulling up to another tall building, driving up to a closed gate. He inputs a code and the garage door opens.

Once it's open, he drives around and parks next to a sports car. This time it has BAY 5: PENTHOUSE painted on the cement instead of his name.

Where are we now? Wherever we are, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, or Mayberry as Ros said. Escala is what he called it.

Christian opens the back door for Teddy and I. After Teddy is unbuckled, I climb out, this time on my own side. Teddy grabs our hands again and together we walk to another elevator.

Just like at GEH, Teddy calls the elevator.

"Is it still my birfday, daddy?"

"Yes, son." Christian smiles.

"It's your birthday?!" _I didn't know!_

"The code to access my apartment here," Christian explains as he punches in a four digit number. "It's Teddy's birthday. 1004."

"October 4th?" I ask, almost in shock.

"That's my birfday," Teddy tells me excitedly. Visions of a party, gifts and cake are dancing around in his little mind, I'm sure. "Then I will be five." He holds his hand up showing all his fingers proudly.

"October 4th is my birthday too." I squeal without thinking.

"It is?!" Teddy's thrilled we share the same birthday. "How old will you be?"

"I'll be- Um. 22." I couldn't remember the age I was using, so I use my real age.

Christian looks at me suspiciously but before we can say anything more the elevator arrives.

When we step off, we enter a private foyer with only an empty table in the middle. _It's bigger than my bedroom_. Christian opens the door to the main area and I'm blown away by the view. It's the first thing I notice and looks amazing. The next thing I notice as I look around is that the apartment is big. Big is actually too small of a word.

Teddy takes off running, leaving Christian and I alone.

"You live here?" I ask amazed that anyone could afford such a place.

"Use to." Christian corrects me.

"Just you and Teddy?" I ask curiously, a subtle hint in wonder of Teddy's mother.

"Just me. I moved when I got Teddy, but we occasionally stay here when we're in the city."

"You lived here alone?" A mixture of feelings erupt. I can sympathize with him because I live alone, but this place is much bigger than my cottage.

He must've felt so lonely living here. And the words he uses, they confuse me. When he 'got' Teddy? I know Christian is Teddy's biological father, so what does 'when I got Teddy' mean? I choose not to ask.

"Here's the cellphone and some cash." He hands them to me along with the keys to his SUV. "I'm not sure how long the meeting will last but it will likely be after dinner. I'll just grab something near GEH and you can either go to the store or order take out. If you leave, the elevator code is 1004 to get back in. You can use the SUV since Teddy's seat is in there, I'll be taking a different car when I go."

I don't know how to drive, I don't even have my license. Not that I could get it now, it would leave a paper trail. If we go anywhere, we'll walk. I saw a store not too far away while Christian drove us here.

"I'm going to change then go to GEH, I'll leave you to it."

I nod.

He walks in the direction of what I presume is his old bedroom, leaving me alone in this great room.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He turns back around. "I don't want you two upstairs at all, it's being remodeled and I don't want you two to get hurt."

"Okay."

He continues to leave the room just as Teddy rushes passed him with his arms full of toys.

Teddy and I get settled in the sitting area, playing with his box of Legos he brought out.

It's not long before Christian returns wearing what looks like an expensive suit. It's grey, matching his eyes, crisp white shirt and thin black tie. He looks like he'd fit in at that GEH place now. Looking important, sophisticated... sexy. My eyes widen at the thought and I feel my cheeks heat.

"Be good for Ana, Ted." He ruffles his son's hair before turning his attention towards me. "I'll be back later and then we'll go back home. Call me if you two need anything, my number is already programed into the phone."

"We will." I assure him. "Don't worry, your son is safe with me."

After Christian leaves and we're alone, I turn to Teddy.

"Okay, Tedster. What do you want to do while your daddy is working?"

A mischievous grin spreads across his face with his plans before he tells me all the things he wants to do.


	4. Her Lies

**Cpov**

My life has changed so much over these last few years. Thankfully, when I decided to move, my family followed me. I gave Gail and Taylor the option of coming with or not. Gail, bless her heart, saw that I still needed the help and couldn't do this alone. She still calls me sir on occasion, even though I've asked her to call me Christian. I guess old habits die hard. Since I left Seattle, I no longer had John available to me, but I continued to see him once a week for about 6 months before I stopped going all together.

I don't know what I would've done without my family and friends, it would've been a lot harder raising Teddy without their help, that's for sure. I appreciate everything everyone has done for us.

After about a year, there were no threats, and I learned enough about cooking and cleaning that I no longer needed their help. They are my friends, which was weird because I never considered them a friend the five years before Teddy, so they still help out when I need them. I'm glad they decided to stay after I no longer needed their help, moving out and getting other jobs so they could stay close by. Teddy adores them.

I have so many loved ones in my life that were always there, but I never saw it before. _My god, how blind I truly was_.

Unfortunately they were all busy today and couldn't watch Teddy. I'm glad Ana was available to watch him. I could've easily brought him with to my meeting but I know he would've been bored out of his mind and I'm not sure how long it will last.

I'm glad I still own GEH. I've sold most of my shares to Ros when I left, but she didn't have enough to buy me out completely. No one did. I could've sold GEH off piece by piece to get my money back tenfold, but it didn't feel right. Ros has been by my side since the day I started my company, it only felt right for her to run it in my absence. I'm more of a silent partner now but I do attend meetings once in a blue moon, especially when they think a woman can't run the place. I attend, just sitting there while Ros puts them in their place. It's quite hilarious actually. Though sometimes, like now, I'm actually needed.

After I'm dressed in my business attire, I walk out of my room so I can say goodbye to my son and Ana.

Ana.

There's something about her, I can't explain it, I find myself drawn to her, wanting to know more about her. Teddy seems to like her as well, he's usually shy around people and it's hard for him to loosen up to someone new. He's still shy around Ros and he's been around her since he was a baby. It's a weird feeling, having someone around my son that I don't know every little detail about their life. I was tempted to run a background check on Ana last night but I decided against it. Now I'm considering it again.

She's quiet, shy and closed off, doesn't really talk to anyone in town except Teddy. Even here; she hasn't said much and I know she is curious, but she doesn't start any conversation. I highly doubt it would be easy getting any information out of her either. But I want to know more about her, not only because she's watching my son but because I'm curious.

"Be good for Ana, Ted." I ruffle my son's hair before turning my attention towards the mysterious creature playing with Legos next to him. She looks beautiful, on her knees, flushed with dark eyes. _I know that look_. That's it, I've decided I am going to have Welch run a background check on her today.

"I'll be back later and then we'll go back home." I tell her, trying to sound unaffected by how she's looking at me. "Call me if you two need anything, my number is already programed into the phone."

"We will." She assures me.

I'm tempted to see if she actually knows how to work the damn phone. I'm still amazed that she doesn't have one.

"Don't worry, your son is safe with me." She says when I linger a bit too long, and it comforts me when I hear the determination and promise in her voice.

I've never left Teddy with anyone who wasn't family before but I find myself trusting Ana. It's only for a few hours, and I'm only a few minutes away, what could happen?

I say goodbye and leave them alone. Nobody can get in without the code and only my family knows the code. They'll be safe here.

I hop in the sports car I leave here and make my way towards GEH for the second time today. It almost feels as if I'm back to my old self. I'm staying at Escala, I'm going to work at GEH, and I have a brunette waiting for me to come home. The only difference is she's there for my son, not me.

After parking in my reserved spot again, I get out and make my way upstairs.

"Shit!" I punch the elevator stop button just as I remember I left the paperwork Ros gave in my SUV at Escala.

I can easily get a copy of it here, but I want to check on Teddy and Ana, even though I just left. I can use this as an excuse to check on them. Teddy trusts her, but I'm still nervous, leaving him alone with a girl who has only been in our lives a few short weeks.

In my car once again, I make my way back towards Escala.

I've only been gone twenty minutes, tops, and instead of going to the SUV and getting the paperwork needed, I make my way back up to my old penthouse apartment.

It's quiet when I step off the elevator, they're no longer in the living room where I left them.

"Teddy?"

"Shhh!" I hear come from the kitchen. However, I don't see anyone.

I make my way over and walk around the breakfast bar. And _FUCK ME!_ Ana is on her hands and knees, ass facing me as she looks around the breakfast bar. _Such a tight fucking ass._ My dick begins to stir at the position she's in.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, obviously the past and this place is playing tricks on me.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

She looks over her shoulder at me, terrified. _Why?_ The look is gone just as quick as it came.

"We're just playing." She sounds apologetic.

I'm about to tell her it's okay, I was just curious what she was doing and where Teddy is, but his giggle distracts me.

"Get down!" Ana whispers urgently, grabbing my hand and tugging as we hear him coming closer.

She pulls my hand harder when I don't move, so I'm not giving away where she is.

I end up falling on top of her.

"Ow!"

I quickly get off and apologize, though it was her fault.

We sit with our backs against the cabinets now and wait without saying anything.

I can hear Teddy getting closer and soon he appears.

"Fweeze!" He doesn't give us a chance to surrender, he just starts shooting water at us with his toy water-gun.

Ana squeals trying to get away.

I end up grabbing her before she can run off and using her small body as a shield from the water. She's so soft and warm and smells amazing. It feels nice to have her in my arms.

"Hold her, dad!" Teddy cheers, thinking I'm helping him.

With Teddy still squirting us, she's laughing, squirming and bucking against me as I hold her.

Over the years, I've learned to control my body but it's hard to maintain that control with her ass rubbing against my dick. Not to mention, the view I have is amazing. I can see clearly down her shirt, the swell of her breasts are calling to me, begging for my attention. I've never been more thankful to a water-gun before because her shirt is getting wet, revealing her bra underneath.

I'm trying desperately not to get hard, but it's useless. At least I'm not being vocal. Attempting to hold back pleasurable moans and groans is a bitch but I've done it many times before.

She squeals, throwing her head back onto my shoulder and laughing as I hold her in place while Teddy squirts the water. It's all I can do not to visualize me fucking her in this position. I wrap my arms tighter around her waist and let my nose run along her neck, inhaling and wanting to press my lips against her pulse point just behind her ear... until Teddy squirts me in my face and brings me out of the daze I'm in.

 _Fuck!_

I cannot be getting aroused and thinking of sex with my son just a few feet away, but I am. _Fuck, am I._ She's so sweet and delicate, exactly my type, and being back at Escala is playing tricks on my mind. But I want her, _god do I want her_ , there's no denying that.

Teddy's water gun soon empties of water and he takes off running.

"I _cannot_ believe you hid behind me." Ana giggles as I let her go, and I think I see a hint of blush.

A groan finally escapes me when she moves away, crawling towards the breakfast bar and giving me a perfect view of her ass. My dick feels like it's screaming in agony at the loss of contact.

I know she must've felt the steal rod between my legs, _there's no hiding this erection_ , but she doesn't say anything about it. Instead she grabs a Nerf gun that sits nearby and takes off in the direction Teddy went, giving me one last look of her ass before she's out of sight. She doesn't even look back once.

 _Fuck me. This girl is going to be the death of me_.

Now that I see they're safe... _Did I just think they instead of him?_ Now that I know _Teddy_ is safe, I leave again, this time for real.

In the parking garage, I remember to grab the paperwork Ros gave me.

"What took you so long?" Ros complains when I finally make it back to GEH. "That hot little nanny of yours giving you a hard time?"

"Shut up, Ros." Though she's right. Ana was giving me a _hard_ time, literally. Thankfully my erection is no more since I have to head into a meeting.

Speaking of Ana, I send the email to Welch requesting her background check as well as another while I follow Ros to the conference room. I also confirm that I still have access to the CCTV footage for Escala on my phone. I'd love to watch them play during this boring meeting I have to endure.

I sit at the head of the table, Ros on my right, as I go through everything I need to know before the meeting.

"Was it raining?" Ros asks of my suit. It looks like it sprinkled on me so I understand her confusion since the sky is clear through the windows.

"Teddy was playing with a water-gun before I left." I answer distracted.

Great, now my thoughts will be of Ana and how it felt to have her in my arms, or how it would feel to have her, instead of business.

 **...**

 **Apov**

I keep telling myself that it was just a natural body function, but I cant help but think about feeling the dampness between my legs as Christian's nose brushed against my neck. And feeling him hard on my backside. I was nearly panting with need. I'm not sure what would've happened if Teddy wasn't here.

 _I can't believe I'm thinking like this! What is wrong with me?_

Ignoring the way Christian felt behind me, Teddy and I continued our game of cat and mouse. When we finished our game, we had to clean up the water mess. He had the only squirt gun so my shirt was soaked by the time we were done with the game. I found the laundry room but needed something to wear while my shirt was in the dryer.

Teddy showed me Christian's room where I borrowed one of his T-shirts. _I'm sure he wont mind_. It's too big and smells of him. _Why does this man have to smell so irresistible?!_

It's nearing dinner time and Christian isn't back yet. It's been so long since I've actually cooked a meal that I don't want to order food, I'd rather make us something in that fancy state-of-the-art kitchen. So Teddy and I make our way to the store we passed on the way here, it's not that long of a walk.

"What would you like for dinner, Teddy?" I ask him as we grab a shopping basket inside the store.

"I wike macamoni and my daddy does too. We can have dat."

"Macaroni and cheese?" I ask and his little nod confirms. "Okay, let's get everything we need for macaroni."

"What if we need breakfast tomorrow?" He asks as we search the aisles for what we need.

"Your dad said we're going home tonight."

"But what if we don't." He worries. "What if we stay a wong time and we have to have breakfast in da morning? I don't want macamoni for breakfast too."

I guess we should have checked the fridge and pantry before we left. We could just grab some milk and a box of cereal, but I'd rather cook something if I can. We can get eggs, pancakes, bacon and toast. Whatever ingredients we don't use, Christian can just take them home.

"How about pancakes for breakfast then?" Surely he'd prefer pancakes over cereal.

"I wike pantakes."

"Me too."

We shop at ease, like it's something we've done together a million times before. Teddy is such a sweet, polite and well behaved little boy, Christian should be proud.

"Maybe we could watch a movie when we get back." I suggest as we make our way to the register with our findings.

"Can we have poptorn too?" Teddy asks when he sees the boxes of microwave popcorn.

"Sounds good." I'm sure Christian wont mind. We're not spending all the money he gave me, not that we could he gave me so much, so it shouldn't be a problem. "Go ahead and pick a popcorn."

Teddy takes his time choosing. His thinking face makes me giggle, with his little _v_ between his brows and his little finger near his chin. He looks so much like Christian.

"Your son is adorable." I hear someone say behind me. I didn't think they were talking to me but when I turn around the older lady is looking at Teddy and I, only the 3 of us are in the aisle.

"Oh, he's-" I'm about to correct her, but the look on Teddy's face stops me. "Thank you."

She smiles one last time and walks down the aisle.

"Did you find a popcorn, kiddo?"

"Uh-huh."

We take everything we found and make it to the register. We'll make macaroni for dinner then watch a movie until Christian comes home from work.

 **...**

 **Cpov**

I can't believe the meeting lasted that fucking long. I sent Ana a text letting her know I wouldn't be home until late and we'd probably stay in Seattle overnight. Teddy has clothes here so he can change into comfortable pajamas, but Ana didn't bring anything with her. I told her she could use anything in my closet though.

She sent me a selfie, I learned the term from Mia, of her and Teddy snuggled up on the sofa of the media room. Teddy was already in his pajamas and it looked like she was wearing one of my shirts. She said they were watching a movie while they waited for me. I couldn't help but turn on the CCTV from my phone and watch them.

That was earlier, and it definitely distracted me.

Having finished the meeting, I plan on going straight to bed, thankful that I don't have to drive all the way back home tonight.

When I get off the elevator at Escala, it's quiet, much like it was earlier, but this time I know it's because they are sleeping.

I make my way to the kitchen and grab a bottled water from the fridge. I don't keep much food here, especially perishable foods because I'm not here nearly often enough, but when I open the fridge, I see a few things I know wasn't there before. They must've went to the store. Looking at a tubaware container, I take it out and inspect what they had for dinner. Is that macaroni and cheese? _My favorite._

I pop the bowl into the microwave to reheat. The kitchen and the rest of the apartment looks just as clean as when I left.

While I wait for my dinner to cook, I head towards Teddy's room here to check on them.

I'm quiet opening the door so I don't wake them, but I don't see anyone in the bed. I walk into Teddy's room and look around, but there's no sign of life in here, even all his toys they were playing with are neatly put away.

Maybe they're in my bed.

I shake the thoughts that instantly run through my mind of having Ana in my bed as I make my way to my room.

Opening my bedroom door, it's empty in here too.

 _Where are they?_

I know they're here and I can't very well call for them because I know they are sleeping, it is rather late for Teddy to be up. The text Ana sent me earlier showed them in the media room watching a movie, and that's the last place I saw them on the CCTV, so I head there next.

I never really noticed how big this place is until now. I knew since day one that I never wanted to live in poverty again, and if I wasn't going to be poor I might as well live the lifestyle of the rich. That way I would never have to worry. I worked my ass off to get where I'm at, I have enough money to live comfortably without ever having to work another day again, but I do miss it. Working at GEH. It's one of the reason's I enjoy coming back here for meetings. It's like I have the best of both worlds now.

As I approach the media room, the television in there captures my attention.

When I walk into the room, I feel my breath catch at the sight before me. Ana and Teddy are asleep on the couch, the menu option for whatever movie they were watching is being played on the screen. They're in pajamas, like the photo she sent me suggested; Teddy in his grey and yellow stripped pajamas, his favorite color being yellow. And Ana... _Fuck me,_ she is wearing one of my T-shirts. A pair of my sweats are on the floor. She obviously got hot and took them off. And I would be lying if I said she didn't look hot in my clothes.

 _Why is that so fucking sexy?_

She's much smaller than I am, so the T-shirt covers most of her body, however, from twisting and turning on the couch, it's bunched up and showing off her panties.

We _really_ need to get back home. Escala's ghosts are playing with my mind.

I'm about to pick Teddy up and take him to his room but Ana holds him to her so I can't.

"No." She whimpers. "No, please. Don't."

 _Shit!_ She's having a nightmare, just like in the car. Though in the car she was thanking someone, less of a nightmare but she still looked haunted. Now it's worse, I can't let her wake Teddy.

I'm about to move him when his little hand reaches out in his sleep and he rubs her like he did to me when he was little. My nightmares slowly went away all thanks to that little boy.

"I'm sorry." Ana whispers.

Her body relaxes and she settles back to a peaceful sleep.

I decide to let them sleep here on the couch together. It's comfortable and he seems to be keeping her nightmares at bay like he did mine.

I grab a blanket and cover them, turn off the TV and leave them alone.

Back in the kitchen, the microwave is beeping, signaling my food is ready.

I grab a fork and pull the container out.

Sitting at the breakfast bar, it's nice to be here and not continue working. Before Teddy, as soon as I left GEH, I would continue working once I came home. Going through endless amounts of emails and paperwork for the next company on my list of takeovers. My life has slowed down since then and I've been enjoying it. I don't have to worry about money, and as terrified as I was when my parents called to tell me about Teddy, I find myself actually being a pretty good dad and enjoying fatherhood.

Thinking about emails, I'm reminded of the email I sent Welch earlier.

I pull my phone out to see if Welch got back to me with the background check. He always was fast, it's sitting in my inbox along with the other things I asked for.

Clicking on the email that contains her background check, it tells me a lot I need to know, like that she's lying about who she is, but it also leaves me with even more questions than I had before.

According to this background check; Ana's birthday is September 10th and she's not 21, she's 24. It seems _Ana_ is not the brunette, blue-eyed woman laying in the other room with my son. No, according to this background check, Anastasia Steele is dead. Has been for 3 years. So then who is the girl in the other room with my son? And why is she using Anastasia Steele's name?


	5. His Interest

**Cpov**

I wake the next morning to the smell of food cooking. Inhaling deeply it's smells of pancakes and bacon. _Mmmm._ I could get use to this. _I was use this_.

I have to shake the thought from my head before I get up.

Knowing Teddy and Ana are awake, I get out of bed, throwing on pajama bottoms and a T-shirt so I don't scare anyone if I walked out there in my underwear. Though Teddy likes it when we walk around the house 'like men' as Elliot told him, however, I doubt Ana would appreciate it. Then again, she didn't say anything about feeling my erection digging into her backside yesterday. Maybe... _No, I shouldn't_.

I walk out of my bedroom and down the hall towards the kitchen. On my way I hear their voices.

"Do you aw-ways wake up dis earwy, Ana?"

Before I left the room I checked the time, it isn't that early but Teddy never was an early bird.

"No," I hear her giggle before I turn the corner, and then they both are in my sight. They are still a distance from me but neither have noticed that I'm making my way towards them.

"Good." Teddy sounds relieved.

"I usually wake up earlier," She informs him. "I slept later than I normally do."

"Ugh." Teddy groans and I almost laugh at how dramatic he's being. He's acting as if she's going to wake him up when she wakes, every morning.

Ana giggles again as she lifts Teddy, sitting him on the counter. Her giggle is such a beautiful sound, I want to hear it more often. I remember the first time I heard Teddy laugh, it melted my heart.

Ana has already started cooking breakfast and is now setting up the toaster. Watching them interact has become interesting to me, especially since whenever I see Ana she's quiet and shy, only speaking when spoken to or working at Mia's restaurant.

I stand back so they can't see me and watch them fix breakfast.

As I watch Ana, I'm reminded of the background check I had done on her yesterday. Maybe she's not normally quiet and shy, or maybe she is, I don't know. But I find it weird that I don't mind not knowing who this girl really is, all I want to do is get to know her now.

"Do you wike coffee, Miss Ana." Teddy asks her in a fancy voice.

"No," She scrunches up her face in distaste while she adds more pancake batter to the pan.

"Daddy wikes coffee." Teddy tells Ana from his spot on the counter.

"Then it's a good thing there's some here." Ana tells him, putting down the bowl of pancake mix to go to the cabinet. And damn, if she put my sweats back on.

 _It's still fucking hot as hell seeing her in my clothes, though._

I smirk when the sweat pants fall a bit and she has to hold them up while she reaches into the cabinet. I should probably help, it is high up, but I'm enjoying the view too much. She has such a tight little ass that I'd love to claim. I know I shouldn't be thinking about sex with her, but damn... _can you blame me?_ I blame it on Escala's ghosts.

She didn't say anything about my hard-on yesterday, but what if she just brushed it off as a natural body function and isn't attracted to me.

"I don't wike coffee ever." Teddy complains, bringing me from my thoughts.

"It's yucky." She agrees then she wrinkles her nose at him, causing Teddy to giggle.

Together they work the coffee maker, for me, then Ana gives Teddy a plate of bread.

"Remember, don't touch the toast when it pops out because it's going to be very hot. Just put the bread in and then don't touch it again, okay?"

"K." He puts the bread in as instructed and then lowers the lever to toast it.

I continue to watch as they work together, Ana making pancakes and taking the toast out while Teddy adds more bread. Since they're about finished, I finally make my way towards the breakfast bar and wait to be noticed. Teddy's the first to see me.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, buddy." I smile at him before I turn my attention towards Ana, changing my smile to a sexy smirk.

"Are you hungry?" Ana asks unaffected as she sets a coffee mug in front of me.

It seems my smirk is going unnoticed. I'll have to kick this flirting thing up a notched. I've never done it before, but it can't be that hard.

"Very." I tell her in a low voice, looking directly into her eyes.

Her reaction is immediate and exactly what I hoped for. _Yeah, she's attracted to me._ Her eyes have darkened and she inhales sharply before she bites that delicious looking lip of hers. I feel my own eyes darken as I take in her appearance. I've never seen her with her hair down before, it's beautiful and very long, and she's practically swimming in my clothes. How I would love to see the body she's hiding.

Regardless of who she really is, she is a very beautiful girl. _Raising ordinary to extraordinary._

"Good!" Teddy chirps, interrupting our moment "Cause we're makin' pancakes!"

Ana shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts and turns around so we're no longer making eye contact. She picks up Teddy and carries him around to sit next to me, then she goes back to get our plates. She sets ours plates in front of us but instead of joining us, she starts cleaning up.

"Ana, don't worry about that right now," I tell her. "Come join us."

"I'm almost done." She insists, continuing with her task. "I don't want to mess up your clean apartment."

"It's fine," I get up and grab her hand, pulling her away from the mess and sitting her next to Teddy so he's between us. "Eat."

"Yes, sir." She jokes.

"Don't call me sir." I can't hear _that_ from her, especially not here, especially not in front of my son.

"Sorry."

Great, now she thinks I'm upset. _Just. Fucking. Great_. She's probably going to shut down again and I need to find out more about her.

We eat in silence, Teddy is eating and trying to talk between bites but otherwise it's quiet.

I'm trying to think and come up with something to say, because I don't want to sound like I'm accusing her of something. I don't want her to know that I know she's not who she says she is. But I can't think of shit to say to her.

After we finish breakfast, we all get dressed. Teddy and I have clothes here but Ana doesn't so I picked up an outfit for her at Neiman Marcus on my way home last night. Just a pair of jeans, cream top, and simple but sexy bra and panties in pale blue. I tried to get the least sexiest lingerie I could find, but it didn't matter what I chose because everything I saw... it was all I could do not to envision her wearing it, and only that, just for me. I had to get out of that store before the personal shopper assisting me thought I was some pervert with a bulge in his pants just from looking at lingerie.

I never knew how _hard_ it was to shop for bra and panties. _Literally._ I've bought for my submissives before, sure. But they either picked it out or I had a personal shopper do it, I never personally picked it out unless it was for a scene. And even then, I wouldn't go to the store to get it.

Ana tries to say she'll pay me back for the clothes, but I wont hear of it and I wont tell her the cost. I've already taken the tags off.

It's not long before we're back in the SUV and heading home. Ana sits in the back with Teddy again.

I pull out of the underground parking of Escala and make my way towards the highway.

"Where did you say you were from?" I decide to ask, acting as if I'm making small talk.

"Oh, all over." She brushes it off, not giving me a real answer.

"So you don't stay in one place long, I take it."

"No, I move around a lot." She agrees, but doesn't volunteer more.

I don't know what else to ask her without revealing that I know she's lying about who she is. From the way she acts, I suspect she's on the run. _But from what?_

She must be so lonely, her only friend in town is a four year old boy and she's been here for weeks. It makes sense though, not to make friends, knowing you'd be leaving them. But what kind of life could she have without family or friends. I know I took advantage of having loved ones before Teddy, but my family was always there if I needed them... She has no one.

 **...**

"So where am I dropping you off?" I ask Ana as we make it back in town.

"Oh, I have some shopping to do so if you don't mind, you can just drop me anywhere downtown." Again, she avoids me knowing where she lives.

"What are we gonna do today, dad?" Teddy, who did not fall asleep on the way home so I could talk to Ana more privately, asks.

"It's nice today so I was thinking we could take The Grace out." It's the only thing I brought with me from Seattle. I left Charlie Tango in Seattle for business use, but I do still fly her occasionally. Teddy loves flying and sailing as I do. "Grandma should be back so we can take the family out on it too."

"Ana, come wif us!" Teddy insists.

 _Yes, Ana, come with us_.

"Sorry, buddy, I really do have a lot to do today," She turns him down. "I have to work tomorrow so I have to get it done today, otherwise I would. Maybe next time, okay?"

I pull over to let Ana out near the grocery store, not sure where she needs to go. She wouldn't accept the leftover groceries. I don't blame her though, I hate it when people pity me, but if she needs it, I hope she'd take it. I would insist she take them if I didn't give her more than enough money yesterday for watching Teddy.

"Thanks for watching him for me." I tell her as I stop.

"It was fun." She unbuckles and hands me the cellphone I gave her to use yesterday.

"Keep it," I tell her, "You may need it."

"No, thanks." She doesn't accept it.

"What if I need you to watch him again?" I probably wont, but I may want to call her. "How will I get ahold of you, I don't even know where you live."

"I'm almost always at the restaurant, even when I'm not on the schedule. I'm sure you'll see me around."

"Alright." I do see her walking around a lot.

She gets out without taking the phone. I just sit back and watch the natural swing of her hips as she walks into the grocery store.

"Daddy," Teddy calls my attention. "Do you wike Ana?"

"Yeah, buddy, she's nice." _Nice? She's_ just _nice, Grey?_

"Good. Cause I wikes her too." He says before asking his next question, "Do you think Ana is pretty, daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy, she's beautiful."

I look down at the phone and see she gave me the money back too, along with a receipt showing what she bought and how much she spent. The receipt shows she gave me back all the change.

"Come on, Teddy." I get out of the car and get him out too so we can run into the store and give Ana her money.

"Ana!" Teddy calls when he sees her down an aisle looking at notebooks. She turns around surprised and smiles at my son. _God, I wish she'd smile at me like that_.

"What are you guys doing in here?"

"You forgot your money." I tell her, holding the cash out for her to take but she doesn't make a move to reach for it.

"What money?"

"You watched my son," I explain. "I'm paying you for doing that."

"Christian, you don't need to do that."

"I do." I insist, this time forcing the money into her hand.

"But it's too much." She tries to give most of it back but I wont accept it.

"Trust me, it's not. You watched the most precious thing to me, surely I should pay you more." I smile at her, "Accept that, or I'll end up giving you more."

"Okay, okay." She smiles, and this time it's aimed at me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I smile back at her.

My heart feels as if it's picked up its beat and is about to leap out of my chest, my insides even heat up. The term hot and bothered comes to mine. I've never felt this way towards anyone before, it's like she sets my soul on fire, in a good way. Not only now, but every since I first saw her I've felt this attraction towards her. I've tried talking to her before, nothing too extreme, but I'm not use to this so I don't really know what to say. She's polite and sweet with me, just like she is with everyone, but she doesn't interact much with anyone here, Teddy being the exception.

 _What is it about this girl?_

I've never reacted this way towards another person before. I don't know anything about her, I know she's lying when she says her name is Anastasia Steele, but I find myself drawn to her for some unexplainable reason. I want to get to know her, if not for my own curiosity, but for the fact that she's around my son.

How do people get to know each other if they don't talk and interact? What if after today, our 'relationship' goes back to what it was before; shy smiles and admiring from afar. How will she know that I'm interested in her? And I admit, I am curious about her past. I have to find a way to get to know her.

And then it hits me like a brick. It's something I've never done before. Can I do it now? Only one way to find out.

"Will you go on a date with me?" I blurt out.

My hand is twitching to run my fingers through my hair, a habit I have, but I hold back. I wouldn't want to look nervous, I'm an ex-Dom for fuck's sake, I have to look like I am in some sort of control. I've never asked a girl out before but I don't think that was the way to do it, especially while I'm holding my son in the middle of a grocery store.

"Christian," She shakes her head, turning me down. "I can't."

"Why not?"

I get that there could be a better way to ask her out, but the question is out there. She knows now that I'm interested.

"I just can't."

"Give me a reason why." I all but demand.

"It doesn't matter why I can't, I just can't. Besides, you don't want to date me, there's a lot you don't know about me."

"Isn't that the whole point of dating? To get to know each other better?"

Not knowing her doesn't stop my interest being peeked. I know she's lying about who she is because of the background check, but I still want to know her. I wont say anything about that because I don't want to scare her. _My, how I've changed over the years. But..._ _What if she leaves town because I know she's lying about something and question her about it. Then I'd never see her again._

"Yes, but-" She agrees, only to pause and think. "Listen, you're great. Really. And I know this is going to sound like the biggest cliché ever... but, trust me when I say, it's not you, it's me."

"I don't understand. What makes you say that?"

"This is beyond anything you could ever understand."

"Try me." I challenge her.

"There are just some things I can't do. Dating is one of them." She gives me a vague answer. "Right now, I'm sort of living in this bubble that I'm expecting to pop at any moment, and I'm just trying to make it last as long as possible. But, when it pops, which I know it will, I just- I just- I don't want anyone else to get hurt, you know. I'm better off alone in my bubble."

"I wike bubbles!" Teddy chimes in, interrupting our moment.

She smiles at him, though this smile is more forced and it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Ana," I call her attention. "It's just a date, what's the big deal?"

"You should steer clear of me, Christian," She warns me. "I'm not the girl for you."

 _Shouldn't that be for me to decide?_

"I have to go." She says before I can say anything more.

She waves goodbye to Teddy then leaves us, walking down the aisle with her basket. She glances back over her shoulder before she leaves the aisle we're in and is completely out of my view.

Regardless of what I found out about her, that she's lying about who she really is, I find myself intrigued. I wont give up and I wont take no for an answer. This is the first girl I've ever really been interested in, that I'm actually wanting to pursue. I'm not going to let her slip away so easy. I just don't know what the fuck I'm going to do, I've never chased a woman before in my life.

"Daddy," Teddy pulls my attention away from my thoughts of pursuing Ana.

We're still standing in the aisle of the store but I have no idea how long I've been thinking about what I should do about Ana.

"Are we going to the Grace boat now?"

"Of course, buddy." I finally get my ass in gear and venture towards the exit.

"Can we get some bubbles too?"

 **...**

Teddy and I have called our family to join us on the Grace. Of course everyone was available _today,_ so when we arrive they are already on the boat.

"How did it go with Ana?" Mia asks as soon as Teddy and I board, not even giving me a chance to say hello to anyone.

Teddy runs right to my mom, who immediately starts lathering him up with more sun screen.

"Mom, I already did that." I tell her.

"I'm just making sure." She continues her task of protecting her grandchild from the sun.

"She did the same thing to Ava." Kate whispers so my mother wont hear her as she walks behind me.

I just laugh because I'm sure it's true.

My mother is trilled to be a grandmother and enjoys showering her grandchildren with as much love and attention as possible. But she does go a little overboard with protecting them from every little thing. I know she feels badly about what she missed when I was younger and is overcompensating, but it wasn't her fault, I was set in my ways and thought it was helping me.

I move to grab a beer from the chest Elliot brought on board and nod to my dad who is starting to pull away from the dock. I love sailing, I use to do it before but alone, just not nearly as often. Now that I'm closer to my family and have more free time, it's nice to enjoy these activities together. I'm glad Teddy only knows a loving family.

"Well?" Mia asks as I grab the chair next to my mother.

"Well, what?" I ask then take a pull of my beer.

"How did it go with Ana?" She repeats.

"Who is Ana?" Elliot asks, wanting to know who were talking about.

"The new girl that work's at Mama Mia's." Kate volunteers. "I drove her home one night when it was raining. Poor thing doesn't have a car."

"You went on a date?" Elliot asks me surprised.

He knows now that I'm not gay because of Teddy, he would always joke about my sexuality, but he also knows what kind of relationships I've had in the past. He knows, as well as everyone here, that I don't date. Well... I didn't date, but I want to now. However, the beauty turned me down.

"You're dating?" My mom smiles.

"I'm not dating her." I tell everyone, making it clear.

"He asked her to date." Teddy is all to pleased to announce. "But she wanted to pway wif bubbles instead."

Everyone looks at me, waiting for an explanation.

"She watched Teddy for me yesterday since all of you were too busy. And to answer your question, Mia, it went well. I asked her to coffee so I could get to know her better if she were to watch him again, for Teddy's sake, but she said she was too busy." Not quite a lie. "She probably wont watch him again so it doesn't matter."

"Ana doesn't wike coffee."

"Teddy, why don't you show Ava your bubbles we got at the store."

"Do you like her?" My mother asks, but before I can say anything, my son so kindly answers for me.

"He does." Teddy grins.

I take a deep breath. _That's the last time I tell my four year old anything_.

"I like her a Teddy's sitter and as a friend." I clarify.

"Dad said he thinks she's pretty too."

 _Yup, never again will I tell Teddy anything_.

"She's that new waitress at Mama Mia's?" Elliot asks when he finally realizes who we're talking about. "The tiny brunette?"

"Yeah," Mia tells him. "She came in one day out of nowhere asking for the owner. When I told her I was, she asked if I was hiring. I wasn't but she looked like she needed a job. I asked her if she had any experience, she said yes but I don't think she has much, if any. I trained her and she's been pulling her weight ever since. She's quiet though, doesn't really talk to anyone."

"Everyone's quiet compared to you, Mems." Elliot jokes. "She looks young, though. How old is she?"

"In her twenties," Mia answers. "I think she said 24, but I don't remember."

"She doesn't look 24," Elliot insists. "She looks underage."

"She's 21!" I confirm. _She's not underage!_ Everyone looks at me again in wondering why I suddenly got so offensive, so I explain, "She told Teddy yesterday."

"Wow, that's pretty young." Elliot goes on to say.

"It's not that young." Mia insists. _Thank you, Mia_. "I'm 23, Kate is 25. It's only a few years younger than us."

"Yeah," Elliot continues. "but compared to Christian she's young."

 _Fuck you!_ I say in my head since my son is nearby, not to mention my mother and she doesn't like us to curse. Elliot sees the look I have, knowing what I want to say to him, and laughs knowing I can't.

"Your father is 12 years my senior," Our mother comes to my defense.

"I'm just saying," Elliot continues, "She was like, what, 16-17 when Teddy was born, still in high school. You're going to be 32 in a few weeks. Are you sure this is the girl you want to be dating? She's not going to want to settle down with some old man and his kid. But if she does, and if you really want her, you're going to need your wingman to help you out."

 _Elliot and his 'advice'_.

"It wont be you." Kate insists, speaking of his wingman comment.

"Of course not," Elliot agrees, "He's got the perfect wingman in Teddy."

"Again," I say frustrated. "I'm not dating her, she just watched Teddy for me yesterday since mom was in Detroit, you and Kate were on a date, and Mia wanted to spend time with Ethan."

Dad joins us, asking for Elliot's help with the sails. Thank fuck because it means the end of this conversation and I just want to relax today.

I sit back in my chair while Teddy finally runs off to play with his aunts and cousin, telling them all about his time with Ana at Escala. I know most of what they did but I find myself listening in to their conversation and watching the way Teddy speaks so fondly of Ana. It's obvious she's affected the both of us. I start to wonder if maybe she turned me down because I am so much older than her and I do have a child. But then I remember how much she adores Teddy so I don't think that's the reason she said no. Maybe this has to do with why she's hiding who she is.

"You know, sweetie," My mother gains my attention. "I never told you before, but your father and I were worried about you. Not only as a child, as any parent would be concerned for their baby, but as you grew up too and became an adult. All you did was work, your whole life was that company, and your father and I understood what GEH meant to you. We are just so proud of the accomplishments you made in your life. But I always wanted you to find love, happiness, someone to share your life with who sincerely cared about you in return. I know Teddy came into your life rather unexpectedly and it was a shock to you at first, but you've changed so much for him. You have such a big heart, Christian, and I only want you happy. If you like this girl and she makes you happy, you should ask her out."

"I'll consider your suggestion, mom." I don't mention that I already did ask Ana out but she turned me down.

"You've spent the last four years being a father and taking care of your son, giving up your life to move here and raise him." She continues. "You're a wonderful father, like I knew you would be, and your son should come first always. But, as one parent to another, you need adult time too. When you three were little, your father and I would-"

"Mom." I complain, not wanting to hear about her and dad's 'adult time' when we were little. I'm 31 years old, I don't want to talk about sex and intimacy with my mother, especially not what she did with my father.

"I'm just trying to help."

"I know." She's never seen me show interest towards a girl before, I'm sure she is just trying to help.

"Teddy's been wanting to go to the beach." I mention. "Why don't you come with us when we go?"

"I'd like that. But I'd also like to see you happy. That's all I want for my babies is for them to be happy."

"I am happy, mom."

And I am. I never thought I would be or deserved to be, but I am.

There's just something about Ana that draws me to her... Sure she's a mystery and she's hiding who she really is, but there's also who she is now. She's sweet and adores Teddy, not to mention she's sexy as hell. She's like a siren, a goddess, Aphrodite herself. I want to get to know her without scaring her away. And I know if I confront her about the background check, she may run.

I bothered Mia after Ana agreed to watch Teddy, wanting to know everything Mia knew about her, but she couldn't tell me anything other than Ana is quiet and keeps to herself. Which is true, no one knows anything about her. She only interacts with Teddy. Wait. _Kate!_ She said she took Ana home when it rained. That journalist sister in-law of mine surely got the scoop.

I stand and make my way over to her.

"Hey, Kate, can I talk to you for a minute."

"Sure," She steps away from Mia, Teddy and Ava. "What's up?"

"What do you know about Ana?"

"Are you interested in her?" She grins.

"I'm curious." I correct her. "I want to know more about the girl since she may be watching Teddy more," and the background check turned up nothing useful other than the fact that she's lying.

"Well, I didn't get much from her, really. She said she wanted a change so she moved here. I don't know where she's from or anything, or why she's here of all places, but I think she's sweet."

"So you know where she's staying?" I throw it out there.

"Yeah, I'm surprised she's staying in that little place all alone. It'd scare me if I lived there. I take her home when it rains. She doesn't ask though so I've been going to the restaurant if I know she's working and it's going to rain. I get a little more from her each time but she's still a mystery, not giving much away. Maybe the next time I'll get her drunk enough to spill the goods. I'll put in a good word for you though."

"Thanks." I say irritated when she doesn't tell me much. But she does give me an idea. Perhaps I'll just happen to be at the restaurant the next time it rains. Then I can give her a ride home.

"So where does she live?"

"Sorry, buddy." She pats my shoulder. "If Ana wanted you to know where she lives, I think she would've told you."

She leaves me and goes back to Mia, Teddy and Ava.

How am I going to figure this mysterious girl out if nobody will tell me shit, not even the damn background check, and she wont go out with me?!


	6. Her Friend

**Apov**

The sky darkens quicker than it should and the breeze picks up. Looks like another storm, I guess that explains why Kate is here. She's been popping up more often when it rains, not that I'm complaining because she offers to take me home. She's not the only one to offer, but I don't want a lot of people knowing about me and where I live. Though sometimes I wish I was okay with someone else taking me home, Kate tries to get a more and more information out of me with every ride.

It's been another long week at Mama Mia's, I have one more day to work and then I'm off for two. Though I do try to pick up any extra shifts, because I need the money if I have to move again, so I always stop by the restaurant on my days off incase they need help. However, I'm exhausted and just want to relax these next couple days so I'm not planning on even leaving my house. Hopefully the nightmares will stay away long enough for me to get some much needed rest.

Lilly seats a couple in my section so I'm about to go over there but Kate stops me.

"Hey, Ana, looks like it's going to rain." She mentions the obvious. "I'm leaving around the time you're off, want a ride?"

"Sure," I try not to giggle. She's not very subtle. "Thanks, Kate."

I turn around so I can head towards my costumers, only to nearly jumping when I see Christian walk towards me with a huge smile on his gorgeous face.

I've seen him a couple times after he asked me out, and every time I see him I wish for things to be different, that I could go out with him. I'm still a little surprised that he'd want to go out with me of all people. I mean, he's a god-like man for goodness sake, Adonis himself, surely he can have any woman he wants. _Why would he want to be with someone like me?_ Maybe it's for Teddy's beneifit, but that doesn't explain his- um- hardness in Seattle. He's attracted to me, for some weird reason, and I am to him, but we just can't happen.

"Hey, Ana." He greets me as he sits at the counter.

"Hi," I squeak, clearing my throat before I continue. "Um. Where's Teddy?"

I've never shown how much he affects me before but my self-control is wavering.

"He's with my mom tonight, she wanted to keep him overnight so I thought I'd stop by and eat something here instead of eating alone at home." He picks up a menu and looks outside at the flash of lightening.

Thunder makes me jump before I can say anything more.

"The storm is going to be pretty rough..." He says causally.

"Yeah," I agree. It's a good thing I don't have to walk in this.

"You need a ride home?" Christian asks. "I can take you, if you'd like."

"No, I have a ride. Thanks though." I might've accepted his offer if Kate didn't ask first.

Even though I'd rather he didn't know where I live, it looks like it's going to be bad. But I find myself slowly trusting Teddy's father more and more. It helps that he's easy on the eyes.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?"

When I look up at Christian, he's glaring, but not at me. I look behind me to see what he's looking at and see Kate. _Why is he looking at Kate like that?_ And then I realize, he must know she's going to give me a ride home and is upset.

"Christian?" I call his attention. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Coffee." He grumbles. "Please."

I grab the coffee pot and start filling his mug. After I take his order, I go to my other tables, making sure to scan the new arrivals even if they aren't in my area, like I always do.

When it storms, sometimes we're busy, other times we're slow. Tonight, we're busy. So I don't have time to talk with Christian as much as I want to. Even if I can't date him, I can be friends with him, right? He is Teddy's father after all and I adore Teddy. What harm can come from being his friend?

My shift is ending so I'm finishing up my tables as Christian gets up to leave.

"Goodnight, Anastasia." He tosses a few bills on the counter.

I blink in surprise when Christian uses my full, fake name. Not because he uses it, even though it's rare that anyone here calls me Anastasia, but because it sounds so sexy coming from him. Sounding as if it rolled off his tongue easily, like pure delicious honey. I find myself wanting to hear him say it more often.

 _These Grey guys, first Teddy and now Christian, are trouble. Major trouble._

"Bye." I whisper as he walks away.

 **...**

"You ready to go, Ana?" Kate asks me once I've finished my last table of the night.

"Yeah, just a sec." I clock out and grab my tips. And of course Christian tipped me way more than necessary. The expensive clothes he bought when we were in Seattle were too much as well. He has to stop doing that, even though I could use it, I don't want to be seen as some charity case.

When I clean up where he just left, I spot an umbrella. I know it's his because I saw him come in with it. _He left it for me, I know he did_.

I shake my head and put the umbrella behind the counter for when he comes in again. I'll return it to him or he can just grab it.

Once I'm ready to leave, Kate and I run out to her car since it's still pouring down rain. I'm so thankful for her ride, it sucks walking home or to the restaurant when it storms.

"What are you thinking about?" Kate starts in as she drives.

I'm sure the reason she's driving slow is more to talk to me than because of the weather. She's always trying to get more and more information out of me each time it rains, since that's the only time I allow her to give me a ride home.

"Christian." I answer truthfully. I need someone to talk to about this, about him, and Kate just so happens to know him.

"So you like him?"

"It's just- he's always giving me things, like money and clothes, more so than needed for the moment it calls for."

"He does that." She agrees offhandedly. "I heard him offer you a ride home, so he probably knows you've been walking. You're lucky he doesn't get you a car."

 _WHAT?!_

"A car?!" _Surely I heard her wrong_.

"Mhm. Brand new too, with all the bells and whistles, everything top of the line and proven safe. He'd even sell your old car if you had one and it wasn't safe. That's what the old Christian would do."

"No. No, no, no, no, no. No way could I allow that to happen. That's just way too much."

"Exactly my point. It's just money, Ana. Trust me, he can afford it and there's no hidden agenda."

"Well, when you put it that way... I just don't want to owe him anything." I could never afford to pay him back for anything.

"It's a tip, Ana. He's always been a generous tipper. And I'm sure if he paid you what you think is too much for watching Teddy, it wasn't enough for him. That's just the way Christian Grey is now."

"So you're saying I'm overreacting about the money?"

"Yup, pretty much." She pulls down the gravel road to my house. "Hey, what do you say we hang out tonight?"

"Tonight?" I asks surprised.

Surely she doesn't mean now, it's raining and I'm home now. Besides, why would she want to hang out at my place anyway, it's way too small and I'm sure she's use to extravagant living situations.

"Yeah," _She means it._ "Mia's always busy with my brother since he's in town and I have no girl to hang out with. Elliot's always saying I emasculate him when I want to talk about girl stuff."

"But it's late."

"It's not that late, the storm is making the sky darker than it normally would be at this time. We can open a bottle of wine and just talk like girl-friends."

Okay, she does have a point, it's not _that_ late. And I know she's throwing in the wine to lure me in, but I don't have anything to drink, just some water.

"I don't have any wine." I tell her.

"I do." She grins, already getting out and grabbing a bottle that's in the back. And of course she has a corkscrew opener too. Seems Kate came prepared.

I get out as well, so she's not standing in the rain, and together we run to my porch for shelter from the rain while I unlock the door.

"What's this?" She asks of my make shift door blocker thingy. I don't even know what to call it.

"It's nothing."

"Looks like it's to keep someone inside."

 _It is. If someone enters my house uninvited, I can lock them in and make a run for it. It wouldn't be that difficult to break the door but this 2x4 will buy me some time._

"Shouldn't it be on the other side? You know, to keep people out."

We walk in and she sees I have another 2x4 on the inside that I use as an extra lock, and of course she starts to ask about that one as well.

"I don't have any wine glasses," I ignore her curiosity of my 'security' system. "Will tea cups work?"

"As long as it holds the good stuff, I think we'll be okay."

 **Kate-pov**

Her small shack that she calls a house is the smallest thing I've ever seen. It's like a shoebox in here. I try to look around, attempting not to look suspicious as I do. It's a one bedroom shack, that's what it is. It's falling apart and run down, even though it looks like she cleaned it up as best as she could. There are only three rooms, the main room, the bedroom and a small bathroom. Actually, all the rooms are small. My bathrooms are bigger than this whole shack. Heck, I have closets bigger than this place.

"I don't have any wine glasses," I wouldn't think she did. I bet she has whatever was left by the previous owner, some hunter or something. The furniture here looks like it was left behind and came with her lease, too. Living in the woods all by herself must be scary, I certainly couldn't do it. Then again, I'm more of a city girl myself, but this small town is growing on me.

I should've thought about glasses.

"Will tea cups work?"

"As long as it holds the good stuff, I think we'll be okay."

Ana gets out two tea cups and together we sit at the tiny table. Thankfully she has two chairs.

"So I heard Teddy invited you to join us on the Grace when you all came back from Seattle." I start off easy.

I wont get into the juicy bits of why she's here until she's drunk enough to talk. I feel bad that I'm doing this, but I wont tell anyone anything she tells me, not even Christian, as long as she's not in trouble. Though, I have a feeling she is. Just what kind of trouble, that's the question.

"Yeah, but I had things I needed to do on my day off." She pours the wine into our teacups.

"Something tells me you wouldn't have came even if you had nothing to do." I call her bluff, accepting the teacup she sets in front of me.

"I-" She shakes her head, proving me right. "I'm better off alone."

"What do you mean? Nobody is better off alone." Christian used to think that way too. He knows now that he's not better off alone and has accepted his loved ones into his life.

"I am." She insists, taking a drink before she continues, "I shouldn't even be getting close to Teddy as I'm am, it'll be harder, not only for him, but for me too."

"You mean when you leave?"

She nods, forcing a smile as she takes another drink. I don't take a drink, I need to drive but I could call Elliot, although I have a feeling Ana doesn't want people, men especially, to know where she's staying. It's why I didn't tell Christian. I just need to get the story on this girl, it's in my blood or something to be a reporter with my father owning Kavanagh Media based in Seattle.

"Are you leaving then?" I ask her. "I mean eventually, are you leaving?"

"I haven't figured it out yet."

"Do you like it here?" I ask pouring her more wine while I continue to sip mine.

"Yes. I love it here." She actually smiles a genuine smile. "It's the best place I've found so far."

"Why are you traveling so much?"

Her smile fades fast at my question.

"It's a long story."

"We've got all night," I lift the bottle next to me. "And wine."

She shakes her head and takes another drink. _That's it, keep drinking_.

"So, how much do you like Christian?" I continue with my easy questions, so her guard is down when we get to the hard stuff that she's keeping hidden.

Besides, I know Christian likes her, he's never acted this way over a girl before and he'd kick my butt if I didn't quiz her about it when I had the chance to.

She blushes and I know she likes him too.

"He asked me out."

"What?!"

"I can't, though."

"Why not?"

"I just, I shouldn't."

"Yes." I correct her. "You should. You should live your life. You're single, right? He's single too, and you both like each other. There's no harm in going out with him."

"I don't know..."

We start talking about Christian and Teddy, all the things they did in Seattle, which wasn't much and I already heard it all from Teddy, but I listen intently.

 **...**

I get the feeling Ana doesn't drink often, she's already tipsy and the bottle is only half gone, mostly from her. I'm slowly working on tea cup number two.

"Tell me, Ana. If you could do anything, be anything, what would it be?" I ask, keeping up the 'girl talk' charade. I've already told her about my interning at the Seattle Times.

"I like books." She slurs with a giggle. "Maybe something to do with publishing, maybe editing or reading manuscripts. Or I've been thinking about writing a book myself. I've always wanted to and I've been writing in my notebooks when I have free time."

She sure is talkative when she's been drinking. This is the most I've heard her talk. I think she's drunk enough for me to start my famous Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition.

I take a small sip of my wine as she takes another drink.

Time to find out what Ana's secrets are. This girl is such a mystery, not only to me, but to everyone.

"Okay," Time to switch the subject to what she's doing here. "You said you are better off alone, which I disagree, but would you rather live alone for the rest of your life, or have a family."

I can't outright ask her so I keep it along the lines of what we've been talking about.

"I don't have a family." She corrects me.

"But you could have a family. If you met someone and you had kids together, say maybe he already has a kid, then his family would be your family." I'm sure she knows I'm hinting about Christian. "So would you rather have a family, if you could, or be alone forever."

She seems to think about it, and I wonder if she's thinking about the past or the future.

"Think about it," I say when she's about to answer. "Forever is a long time, so be honest."

"What makes you think I wouldn't tell you the truth?"

"Everybody lies, Ana. They're lying if they say they don't because nobody is totally honest. Can you imagine the conversations if everyone told the truth all the time? It's like when I ask Elliot if my butt looks big in my jeans... He tells me it's not or it's perfect, but I know he's lying. People lie all the time. I'm not saying it's right to lie or not, sometimes a white lie is a good thing, but people only tell you what you want to hear. I'm a journalist major and I've learned people will tell you most of the story..." _Like Christian telling me he wasn't gay when I interviewed him four years ago. It was true, but it's the story behind why he hid his sexuality that was the good part of the story._ "And I've also learned that the part they neglect to tell you is often the most important part. People hide the truth because they are afraid."

 _What are you hiding, Ana? What are you afraid of?_

"Are you talking about me?" She accuses me.

"I'm actually talking about my job." I play it off with a smile. I don't want her to kick me out and not tell me anything at all. "I told you I'm a journalist. It's my job to get the scoop of a story. I run the local paper in town if you didn't already know, but sometimes people wont tell the truth when I'm interviewing them. I mean, how am I supposed to get the full story if they hold things back? Granted it is a small town and nothing ever happens here."

"Maybe they just don't want to talk about it." She whispers. "Maybe they don't want to be reminded of it, and they just want to forget it ever happened."

"But maybe I could help." I counter, talking about her and not the paper.

She shakes her head. "Nobody can help."

"Talk to me, Ana," I beg her, taking hold of her hand that's sitting on the table next to her teacup. "I'm a really good listener."

I feel bad when she looks so sad, remembering her past. Tears are beginning to well up in her eyes until they slowly begin to fall one by one. I'm about to apologize and forget this crazy notion of finding out more about her, when she starts to speak.

"I had a friend back where I lived..."

I stay quite, listening. But I'm wondering if she's doing that thing where people say it's for a friend but it's really for them.

"She was in a terrible marriage. Her husband would hit her all the time."

 _Oh my god! I thought she was in trouble with the law or something, not that she was running away from someone. Not this._

"In the beginning, she told him that if it ever happened again, she would leave him. He would promise it wouldn't happen again and she believed him until he did it again. So she left him like she said she would. Only he came after her. It got worse after that. She couldn't talk to anyone, not even the neighbors. He would hit her for the stupidest reasons, like there's ever a reason to hit someone, and then blame it on her."

Her tears keep flowing but she does nothing to stop them, continuing to talk as if she's talking about the weather. It's like she's on autopilot.

I give her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze, so she knows she's not alone, as much as she claims she wants to be.

"He would always apologize, say he hated what he'd done, but in the same breath he would tell her that she deserved it because she knew better or she did it on purpose knowing it made him angry. It was always her fault, not his that he lost his temper. She tried to change, be a better wife and do things exactly the way he wanted them, but it was never enough. He would always find a reason, and it would always be her fault ... After awhile, he wanted a baby. She knew she couldn't bring a baby into that life. If she couldn't protect herself from him, how would she protect a child. So she secretly started taking birth control. And every month, when she got her period, he would be pissed and hit her because she didn't get pregnant."

I want to say something, comfort her, but I think if I did she would stop talking and I think she needs to get this off her chest. I'm not sure how long she's been on the run.

"My friend tried to get away so many times. She ran away a few times. The last time, she thought she was finally free, but he hunted her down and dragged her back to the house. He beat her again for running, put a gun to her head and told her that if she ever ran away again, he'd kill her. And she believed him. She was trapped. ... He never gave her any money, never allowed her to leave the house unless it was with him, and she didn't need a cell phone because she was with him and if she wasn't she was home and he could call her on the landline to make sure she was where she said she was. He had so many rules. ... Sometimes he would drive by the house when he was supposed to be working, just to make sure she was there, or call and if she didn't answer she would get it when he got home. He monitored everything, controlled ever aspect of her life, she had no freedom."

She's quiet for awhile. I continue to hold her hand, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. She's just staring off as she remembers.

"One day she woke in the middle of the night to find him sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding his gun in one hand and a tumbler of bourbon in the other. The look in his eyes that night..." She shivers at the thought. "That's when she knew, if she stayed, her husband would eventually kill her. She knew she had to do whatever she could to escape. But she would need enough money to do it, to get as far away from him as possible so he couldn't find her and bring her back. So she started working for her neighbors... They would pay her to clean and cook for them. It took her months to save up enough money but it felt like years. But she needed enough money so that she could start over again. And she did."

"Your friend is very brave." I tell her when I think she's told me all she's going to. My heart breaks for her.

"No," She disagrees. "My friend is scared all the time. She's always on the run, always moving, never settling down or living her life. She's constantly afraid, terrified that he'll find her and do what he said he would do if she ran away again. She ran away because she was scared and weak, and now she's always running." She blinks and realizes what she said. "I probably shouldn't have told you all that."

"I'm glad you told me about her, your friend." I say squeezing her hand. "And I may be a reporter but one thing you'll learn about me, I'm good at keeping secrets." And I wont tell anyone who asks, not even Christian, especially not Christian. He'd want to find the guy and hit him, possibly kill him with his bare hands. I can only imagine how Christian will react when he does learn the truth. Especially considering Christian's past.

But he'll only know it if Ana tells him.

I end up staying with her all night, calling Elliot to let him know I'm staying with Ana tonight and blaming it on the storm. I just want to make sure she's okay. The poor thing has an abusive husband who she thinks is hunting for her. No wonder she keeps to herself and doesn't get close to anyone, she's afraid to lose someone she cares about if he finds her and she's forced to leave again.

Ana ends up having a nightmare. I feel bad because I probably brought it on with my wanting to talk about her past, but I have a feeling this wasn't the first nightmare she's had. Poor thing.

I sit up with her but since the storm has passed, and I'm not drunk, she says I can leave. I'm reluctant but she insists.

On my way home, I cry for 'her friend'.


	7. His Wingman

**Apov**

I don't know why I told Kate all that last night, I shouldn't have, but it felt like such a relief getting it off my chest and finally telling someone. I blame it on the alcohol. I usually never drink, it leaves you vulnerable, but it felt amazing to let my guard down for once. I'm glad she stayed with me, even though she saw my nightmares first hand, I didn't want to be alone after that.

It's obvious I'm getting closer to the people of this small town, more so than any other place I've been. Maybe I should leave now so it's not hard on me when and if I'm ever forced to leave. Just thinking about the possibility of leaving one day feels my heart with dread. I don't want to. I like it here and I'm beginning to actually enjoy my life.

I'm at work, my last day until I'm off for two full days. I'm only working the lunch shift today and I have no plans after work, pretty much like everyday.

The hostess seats a woman in my section so I make my way to the table.

"Hello, welcome to Mama Mia's," I introduce myself like I do all my costumers. "Can I start you off with something to drink?"

Before she can answer, Teddy calling my name interrupts her.

"Hi, Ana!"

I turn around hearing him.

"Hi, Teddy." I smile at him, his father following shortly behind him.

To my surprise they slide in the booth with this lady.

"So you're Ana?" She smiles at me.

"Yes, ma'am."

"My son has told me a little about you."

"Mom!" Christian shouts embarrassed.

"I meant my grandson." She corrects herself. "Calm down, Christian."

While I do believe Teddy has mentioned me, I wonder briefly if Christian has said anything about me to his family.

I giggle at them and the blush on Christian's cheeks. He's cute when he's flushed like that, I don't think he gets embarrassed easily so it's nice to see.

"I'm Grace, Christian and Mia's mother, I'm not sure if you've met my other son, Elliot. I know you met Teddy, my precious grandson."

"It's lovely to meet you." I tell her.

"You have no idea how lovely it is to meet you, dear."

I'm surprised I've not seen her around here, with her daughter owning the place, everyone in the family seems to stop by. But she does look familiar. Maybe she has been in here and I just haven't noticed. I've been keeping my eyes on anyone who looks suspicious and this sweet lady doesn't look suspicious at all. Maybe that's a mistake, I should suspect everyone, even the un-expectable.

"What can I get you all to drink?" I ask them all since it seems Teddy and Christian are having lunch with her today.

"Lemonade for me, please, dear."

"Chocwit milk." Teddy says seriously while he pretends to read the menu.

"I'll just have a water with lemon, thanks."

"Coming right up."

I walk away to get their drinks, but before I'm completely out of earshot, I hear them talking about me.

Grace saying, "You're right, she is very pretty,".

Followed by another, "Mom!" from Christian.

And then Grace going on to say, "What, Christian, you said she was pretty, I'm agreeing with you. It's not like she doesn't know you like her, besides, she can't hear us."

"Can you at least keep your voice down." Glancing over my shoulder, I see Christian run his fingers through his hair. "Maybe it was a bad idea having lunch here."

"Calm down." She laughs at his discomfort.

I try not to giggle because I can hear them and I don't want them to know I can, but I'm moving further and further away so their conversation is getting harder to overhear.

 _So it looks like Christian is talking about me to his family_.

After I get their drinks, I quickly bring them back to the table and take their order.

I continue to work, even though we're not too busy we are steady, but I don't feel as tense as I would before. I use to think it was Teddy but now I'm thinking it's both of those Grey boys. I find myself drawn to them, and that they calm me. Even when I was so tense around Christian before when I first met him, it wasn't like anyone else. I think... I think the reason why I was so tense around him before, is because my subconscious mind knew...

 _Ding Ding_

The bell rings letting me know food is up.

I grab the tray of food and make my way over to the Greys.

"We are goin' to da beach, Ana." Teddy tells me when I bring their food to their table.

"That sounds awesome!" I tell him, matching his excitement as I set their food down on the table. "Make sure you build me a sand castle while you're there, okay."

"You can come wif, too." Teddy offers.

"I don't know," I politely turn him down, now holding the empty tray. "It's your family time."

"It's okay, you can come." He insists. "It's fun."

"Teddy, no," Christian tries to tell him.

"Please." He gives his dad the cutest pout and I wonder how Christian can say no to that face. Ever.

"Ana is working." Christian explains.

"Actually, I get off after lunch." I tell him. "And I'm not doing anything after work today."

Christian looks shocked that I actually and finally agreed to do something with them. He looks at Teddy and smiles.

"So you gonna come?" Teddy grins excitedly.

"If your dad is okay with it. I'd love to."

"Looks like Ana is going to join us at the beach." Christian says with a smile.

I smile at them and walk away to finish my shift.

 **...**

I haven't taken on anymore tables, I'm just clearing the ones I have, helping the bus boy to give me something to do. My only table left is the Greys' and after they are finished, I'm done working for today.

"Was everything as delicious as it looked?" I ask them, coming to their table when they look like they are done eating.

"It was wonderful." Christian tells me with a smile.

"I'm sorry you were so busy, dear," Grace says. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you."

"Mom, you don't need to talk to her."

"Christian, hush." She shews him away. "Maybe we can have a girls day with Mia and Katie. Then I can get to know you a little better."

"Maybe." Though I doubt I'll be able to afford any 'girls day' with them. And if her girls day is anything like Kate's, count me out. No more drunk confessions for me.

"Are you ready to go?" Christian asks me.

"Almost. You're my last table so whenever you leave, I'll clean up and we can go."

"Great." Christian smiles at me and I can't help but return it.

"Oh, would you look at that," Grace calls everyone's attention. When we look at her, she's holding her phone up and looking at the screen. "I have a text from Kate-"

"Mom," Christian interrupts her and calls her bluff. "You don't know how to text."

"Christian, she sent me a text, I can read and I'm reading her text that she just sent me." She insists frustrated with him. "I have to go help her with something so I wont be able to join you at the beach today, as much as I wanted to. You three go and have fun for me. Maybe we can all do something together another day."

"What do you need to help Kate with?" Christian asks, it's obvious he doesn't believe her, but she gives him a look that I'm sure everyone knows as the 'quiet' look they get from their mother.

"You're not going?" Teddy asks with a pout.

"Next time, Teddy bear. But you will have lots of fun with your daddy and Ana. You be sure to tell me all about your time at the beach when you come over later, okay."

Before anyone can insist she stay, she gets up to leave, hugging her grandson and getting a kiss on her cheek from her son. Then she's out the door.

I suspect she's in on this plan of getting Christian and Ana together. Kate brought up Christian last night too.

I've decided to take Kate's advice and live. I've been surviving, but I haven't been living. I escaped and he can't find me here. I don't want to leave this place anyway, I've grown attached to Teddy, and his father isn't too bad either. I'm making friends and I don't want to leave them behind. I know it will be my Achilles heel if anything happens, but I've decided I'm going to stay and I'm going to live.

"Ready?" Christian asks me again, bringing me from my thoughts.

"Almost." I repeat. "But I don't have a suit."

He frowns, probably assuming I'm going to change my mind, so I continue,

"Luckily I was tipped over generously last night by this really cute guy." Christian doesn't look very happy. He must not get my hint that is was him so I continue, "He also happened to over pay me for watching is son awhile back too. So I'll just buy a swimsuit before we go, if you don't mind stopping at a store on the way."

It hits him that he's the one I'm talking about. He blinks then tilts his head to the side.

"Are you flirting with me?" He asks with a sexy smirk.

"Maybe." I bite my lip. It's been awhile since I've flirted, so I'm not sure if I'm doing it right or not.

 _Ding Ding_

The bell rings and even though I know it's not for my orders, I walk away, swaying my hips a bit too much. _Gosh, I hope I don't fall!_ I haven't flirted with a guy in so long, I'm probably crap at it. Not to mention, I need a minute to cool my libido, especially if we're going to the beach where minimal clothing is required.

Oh gosh, maybe the beach wasn't a good idea. Maybe that boat Teddy mentioned, The Grace would be better. Is it too late to change my mind?! Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.

 **...**

 **Cpov**

After leaving the restaurant, Teddy and I take Ana to a store where she can purchase a bathing suit. I'm hoping for a skimpy bikini, but I know she'd opt for a one-piece that covers most of everything. At least I'll be able to see those fine, fine legs of hers. I still can't believe she agreed to go, to the beach no less. Elliot was right, I have the perfect wingman in Teddy.

We're in the store together, 'helping' Ana find a swimsuit. Teddy is picking anything with yellow on it, his favorite color, Ana is looking at one-piece suits, as I predicted she would, while I'm over here fantasizing about tiny bikinis and it being her and I alone on the beach.

I've given it a lot of thought, being with Ana, and as much as I've considered being only friends since she didn't want to date me, I know it would never work. Especially considering the way my body reacts to her and how attractive I find her. There's no way I could be _just_ her friend, and fuck that if I was forever in the forbidden friend zone. She doesn't want to date, but I want her.

However, I know I can't have her once, _a 'get her out of my system' type thing_ , that shit never works and I would only want more. Not to mention, she might leave and Teddy wouldn't be happy if he knew I was the reason she left. I've never done this romance thing before, but for the first time in my life, I want it. It's going to be tricky, especially since she's against it, but I'm determined. I just don't know where to start...

Continuing to look through the suits, I see the tiniest scrap of fabric, and it so happens to be a thong string bikini.

 _Must be for indoor tanning_.

Deciding to be funny, I grab the bottoms, and only the bottoms, leaving the tiny top on the hanger.

"Ana." I call to her, hoping she doesn't get offended or call me a name. I'm pushing my luck with this joke and I'm shit at jokes, that's Elliot's area of expertise.

When she looks at me, I hold up the thong bottoms.

"I found the perfect suit for you." I make my voice sound husky, but I swallow my nerves down hard. _Surely she wont smack me in front of my son_.

She looks at what is in my hand and then snatches it away, looking around to make sure nobody saw. Then she looks at the tiny piece of fabric in her hands.

"Where is the top?" She asks casually.

 _Holy fuck! Is she considering? No way. No. Fucking. Way._

"There is no top." This time there is no nervousness in my tone, it's completely husky and filled with lust.

At that, she pops her head up to look at me, blue eyes wide in shock. I slowly lick my lips and I know my eyes are darker than usual with visions of her wearing only these bottoms. This causes her to look at my lips, and she tries hard not to blush but I can see it forming on her cheeks.

She shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts and smiles. That's a good sign, at least she wont call me a name, smack me and leave.

"It's not a topless beach, Christian." She actually giggles. "And I'm not wearing a thong."

"Now? Or to the beach."

She bites her lip and puts the offending garment back without answering my question.

"What 'bout dis one?" Teddy calls our attention, holding up a yellow suit. _That's my boy, picking a bikini_. He's the perfect wingman.

"Oh, it's-" Ana tries to come up with a word. I can tell she doesn't like it all that much but I'm not sure if it's because of the bright yellow color or if it's because it's a bikini.

"Yellow." She blurts out, "I mean, perfect."

"You will look beautiful in dis. Don't you think so, dad?"

"Absolutely."

Ana gives me a look, and I'm not sure what it means.

Teddy smiles, handing the bikini to Ana. She takes it, looks at the price tag and frowns. She looks back at the other suits while biting her lip, but before she can say anything I take the suit and walk towards the register. That fucking lip biting was making me hard and I _really_ need to get us out of this store. Not only that, I need to find a way to control my urges around her. I've had control of my body for over 14 damn years, surely I am capable of doing it now.

"What are you doing?" Ana trails along behind me with Teddy holding her hand.

"We're already behind schedule. We have to get going." I pay for the bikini before she and Teddy arrive at the counter. _Thank fuck Teddy walks slow_.

"What schedule?"

"The schedule I just made up." I turn around handing her the little pink bag containing the suit. "Go change."

"You have to stop doing this." She gently scolds me, taking the bag without further discussion and going into the back to change.

Teddy and I wait for her near the dressing rooms, but she doesn't keep us waiting long.

When she comes back out, I can see the hint of yellow through the fabric of her white top, and she's holding the pink bag in her hand. _Fuck me, I know she has her panties in the bag_.

 _Okay, I need to work faster, but I've never done this before, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing_.

We walk out together, getting into my Audi SUV and this time, Ana sits in front with me. I'm fighting with myself not to reach over and touch her thigh, hold her hand, anything, I just feel the need to touch her, so I hold the wheel firmly with both hands. My veins are nearly popping out of my forearms as I drive. Ana squirms in her seat and when I glance in her direction, I see that she's looking at the muscles in my arms.

She quickly looks away when she realizes I've caught her looking and turns her attention towards Teddy.

 _I know she's attracted to me, why wont she just give in, what could possibly be stopping her from dating me?_

Ana and Teddy are talking about all the things they plan to do when we get to the beach, swimming, building sand castles, looking for shells. This all feels... good, normal. Almost like we're a family, a real family. I never thought I would have this. Then again, I never expected to be a father. Maybe my mom is right, I deserve some adult time.

I pull up to the beach and we all hop out once I've parked.

Ana and Teddy help carry the lighter things, like the towels and the bag I filled with water bottles and snacks, while I carry the chairs and umbrella. Luckily my mother was supposed to come with us so I have an extra chair and towel for Ana.

I know my mother was lying about getting a text from Kate, everyone knows she doesn't know how to text so we don't send them to her, instead we call. Not to mention, my mother is not a very good liar, she's too kind hearted. I don't know the reason behind why she chose not to join us, because I would think she'd want to see how Ana and I interact together, but I can't complain now that I see Ana on the beach with us.

Ana helps me lay out the chairs, towels and umbrella. There's not many people on the beach today so we have a large area all to ourselves. One of the reasons I love this place. Peace and quiet, no hustle and bustle of the big city. I loved living in Seattle but my life has changed drastically to what it was before. I needed the changed.

When my family moved out here with us, they all got jobs doing what they love. Elliot still runs Grey construction but it's still based in Seattle so he takes a lot of business trips, however, he opened a local hardware store here. His wife, Kate runs the newspaper. My father retired but still takes on a few pro-bono cases. My mother tired to stop working but she couldn't, now she works part-time at the clinic. Mia just came back from culinary school when Teddy arrived. She knew she wanted to run her own restaurant but she didn't want a fancy place. Mama Mia's was perfect for her so she had Elliot do the remodeling. I don't have any work here but I still attend to the few things at GEH when I'm needed.

I get out the sun screen. I brought the spray so it would be easier to keep applying it to Teddy throughout the day, but right now I'm wishing I brought the lotion so I could rub it on Ana. She'd need help with her back, right? I could untie that little string and rub it all over her smooth alabaster skin- _FUCK! Stop it, Grey! You're at a fucking family friendly beach with your son, for fuck's sake! You don't need a fucking hard-on right now! Especially in these trunks!_

I watch as Ana helps Teddy take off his shirt and put on the silly swim shirt my mother insists he wears. He and I are already wearing our swim trunks under our shorts, both matching blue, so she helps him take off his cargo shorts.

When she's done helping him, I spray my son with the sun screen then send him on his way.

"Don't go into the water without me, Teddy." I remind him.

"Or Ana." He yells back as he starts searching the sand for shells.

"Or Ana." I agree then look at her. She's still dressed in what she was wearing at the restaurant.

"Well..." I say to Ana when she just stands there.

"What?"

"You too, missy." I hold up the sun screen and shake it, gesturing that it's now her turn.

She rolls her eyes and it brings back memories. I want to take her over my knee and spank that sexy ass of hers, but not in the way I use to, no.

I watch mesmerized as she unbuttons her jeans and shimmies them down her legs, kicking them to the side. Then she slowly, _oh so slowly_ , takes off her shirt and reveals that bright yellow bikini that Teddy so graciously picked out.

I check to make sure Teddy is still doing okay and when I see he's still looking for shells close by, I step up to Ana and start to cover her body in the sun screen. It looks as if she's holding her breath.

"Your turn." She says when I'm finished.

I've gotten past my fear of touch with Teddy and therapy, but only family has ever touched me since. And they still keep their distance, years of accepting my fear, but my mother enjoys that fact that we can now hug. Still, they haven't touched me bare chested, only Teddy has. But never has a woman touched me. I almost regret not bringing the lotion now, wanting to feel her hands on me. Something I've never experienced before.

Handing the spray can over to Ana, I watch as she stares at my hands, now on the button of my shorts. Once my shorts are off, and I'm left wearing my trunks, I grab the back of my shirt and pull it over my head, tossing it onto a chair near by. It takes her awhile to move but I stay quiet, letting her enjoy the view of my body.

She shakes her head again, as if scolding herself, then steps up to me. I thought she was holding her breath before when I stood up to her, and now I know she was because I hold mine. Something about her being close to me takes my breath away. I have to fist my hands to keep me from touching her.

When she's done, she puts the can down and walks away without saying a word, just like that. Like nothing happened.

She starts to look at the shells with Teddy now. They're smiling and looking at a few he found already.

I walk towards them and start looking for shells too, all while trying to think of how to convince her to give me a chance.

 **...**

We're in the water now, splashing and playing around. Teddy so brilliantly came up with a game of shark. I'm the shark and I'm to capture my prey; Teddy and Ana. She's doing her best to keep Teddy away from me and I'm toning it down a lot for him. I know I could get them easily if I really wanted to, but Teddy and Ana's laughter is like sweet music to my ears.

"Na-na Na-na boo-boo." Teddy taunts me. "You can't get us."

I end up laughing as I make my way towards them. He's so sweet and innocent, he really believes I can't get them.

"Run!" Ana shouts to Teddy as they start to get out of the shallow water we've been playing in, only waist deep on Teddy. He's a great swimmer at only four years old, but with this game we need to run so we have to be where he can reach the bottom sand under the water.

Teddy gets away, running back to our spot on the beach that they've claimed as being a safe-zone, but I grab Ana before she makes it out. She falls down on the soft, mushy sand and I pull her back to me.

"You're mine now, baby." I growl. It slips out but she doesn't seem to notice or say anything about it. She just keeps laughing and tries to get away from me, even calling Teddy back for help as she turns onto her stomach and tries to crawl away.

"Teddy!" She giggles, like he's not going to help her.

I look up and see he's found the snacks. Yeah, he's not coming to help her any time soon.

I flip her over so she's on her back again and then hold her hands down so she can't fight me off. Something flashes in her eyes and her smile fades, but it's gone just as quick as it came and she's smiling again. Though this time it looks forced. Regardless, I release my hold on her and start to tickle her. Teddy likes it when we have tickle fights and I don't want to ruin the good mood with whatever memory just haunted her.

"Christian!" She's laughing, genuinely now, so I know she's having fun again. "Christian, stop, please!"

I do as she asked, stopping from tickling her but still hovering above her. She's back to smiling a real genuine smile that makes her beautiful blue eyes light up.

 _God she's beautiful._

With her brown hair sprawled across the wet sand, _I've always been attracted to brunettes_ , I can't help but wonder if it's natural _. Did she dye her hair to match Anastasia's?_

"What are you thinking about?" She asks me.

 _You, who you really are, your past,_ I want to say. But I don't. She'd shut down and that's the last thing I want.

"Let's build a castle!" Teddy comes up to us, breaking our connection.

We both look up at him and laugh at his messy face, but his innocent smile lets him get away with just about anything.

Ana turns her body from underneath me so she can get up. I close my eyes tight and fist the sand when her ass brushes against me.

"Ah!" I feel her body suddenly move away from mine.

I snap open my eyes hearing Ana cry out in pain and see that she's holding her hand.

"What's wrong?" I finally get off of her and sit beside her.

"I cut myself on that shell." She tells me, nodding towards the culprit. The shell is jagged and dyed red from her blood.

"Let me see." I pull her hand toward me. _Shit, she's bleeding._ "Let's take you to the clinic."

"What?!" She panics. "No. No, I'm fine."

"Ana, you're not fine, you cut your hand."

"I'm fine." She insists.

She gets up and walks to our stuff, getting out the paper towels I packed and wrapping it around her hand, trying to clean it up.

I grab the jagged shell and throw it as far as I can into the water. I know I should've tossed it into the trash, but I needed to let out my frustration. _She's fucking scared to go to a fucking doctor, for fuck's sake. What if she really needs medical attention?!_

"My mother is a doctor," I tell her when I make it back to our area. "she can look at it for you."

"I'm fine, Christian, really. It's not that bad."

"Well, then let me look at it at least. I have a first aid kit in my car."

"Okay." She nods in agreement so I take off running to grab the first-aid kit I keep in the trunk before she changes her mind.

When I get back she has it mostly cleaned up. I sit beside her and examine the cut. She's right, it's not that bad, only a small cut. I clean it up properly then apply a bandage.

"Daddy, you have to kiss it," Teddy tells me. "to make it better."

 _Teddy is an amazing wingman_. I smile as I lift her hand up and kiss gently on top of the bandage. When I look up at Ana, she's blushing and smiling too.

"There." I whisper. "All better."

"My hero." Ana smiles at me.

"Can we still make a castle now?" Teddy may be a good wingman, but he's also distracting our moments.

"Of course." Ana tells him. But I don't want her to.

"You have to wear this glove." I insist, pulling out the latex glove for her injured hand.

She giggles when I help her put it on.

I help her up and together we all get to work on making a sand castle for Teddy.

We have fun building the castle together. Teddy names all the rooms and when he gets to the kitchen he asks about dinner tonight. It gives me an idea.

"Ana, would you like to have dinner?" I'm vague, leaving out Teddy, so hopefully she will agree if she thinks he will be there too. I know I shouldn't trick her like this, but she already turned me down the last time I asked her out, I wouldn't want a repeat of that, and I want to get to know more about her. There's an attraction between us, she can't deny that.

"I'd love to have dinner."

"What's for dinner?" Teddy asks.

"Whatever grandma and grandpa make," _Because that's where you're going, Ana and I are having dinner separately_.

I just hope she wont be too disappointed when I drop Teddy off and she realizes it's just the two of us having dinner together. Maybe I should tell her... No, she said she didn't want to go on a date with me, she wont be happy if I tell her we're going to have dinner alone... I've never been on a date before but this is not a date, it's just dinner. Besides, we had lunch together before, but Teddy was with us then... _Fuck, it's a date, she's not going to be happy at all when she learns of that fact._

"I- um. I have to change first." Ana interrupts my thoughts. "I can't have dinner in this bikini and I don't want to wear what I wore to work."

"We'll all change." I say in agreement, further portraying Teddy will join us.

Ana bites her lip in thinking and when she finally comes to a decision, she looks at me.

"Can you give me a ride home?"

"Sure." I quickly agree. "I'll drop you off and pick you up in about an hour or so." It will give her time to get ready and me time to drop Teddy off and plan dinner, not to mention I'll finally know where she's been staying.

She smiles and together we all pack up our beach equipment, then head towards the SUV.

I can't believe it. I'm finally going on a date after 31 years of not dating, albeit she doesn't know it's a date yet, and I will finally know more about this mysterious girl.


	8. Her Curiosity

**Cpov**

I drop Ana off at a run-down shack she calls cottage that sits far back into the woods, out of view from the road and as far away from anything living, besides animals, as you can get. _I never knew there was any shelter of sorts back here_. _How the fuck can she stay here?! It's not fucking safe!_ I'm not happy about her living situation, but I'll deal with it later.

I leave her so I can drop Teddy off with my mother and get everything started for our spontaneous dinner that is not a date but is and she just doesn't know it because I don't want to scare her away. I've never done this dating thing before so I hope I don't fuck it up. Though I guess I should've told her it was a date and not spring it on her like this. It's not so much a real date as it is me trying to get to know her better. Yeah, it's just us getting to know each other better, that's all.

"Teddy," I decide to ask my wingman while I drive to my parents', "What do you think Ana and I should have for dinner?"

"And me too, dad." He reminds me, like I forgot him.

"Well, buddy." _Time to come clean with my plan now that Ana isn't with us_. "I want to get to know Ana better so it's just going to be her and I tonight. You're going to stay with grandma and grandpa tonight, but you can join us next time, okay."

"Okay," He seems unbothered that we're excluding him.

"So what do you think Ana and I should have for dinner?" I repeat.

"Spapeggie. Oh! And meatballs too."

"That's a little messy," Not to mention garlic breath.

"But it's what Lady and da Tramp had on their night out."

"Okay," Who am I to turn down a romantic Disney scene. "Spaghetti and meatballs it is."

Pulling up to my mother's home, before I get out, I make all the necessary texts I need. Then, I get Teddy out and let him run ahead of me.

The door isn't locked, it almost never is, so he opens it and runs into the house like he owns the place. Much like everywhere else we go.

I follow behind him and into the kitchen where my mother, Kate and Mia are all sitting around the table. Teddy sits right next to my mother while the girls continue to talk.

Gone are the days they are surprised to see me, since I have Teddy, we come over often. My mom continues talking with Kate and Mia with her arm now around Teddy, holding him to her as she slides the plate of cookies towards him. He was reaching for it, always knowing his grandmother has treats readily available for him and Ava.

"Hey, mom, can you do me a favor?" I run my hand through my hair as I continue to stand in the doorway of the kitchen.

"What is it, dear?" She asks, now turning her attention away from the girls to look at me. However, now I have Kate and Mia's attention as well.

"Can you watch Teddy for me tonight? Perhaps overnight." He already has his own room and belongings here, just as Ava does.

"Sure." She asks no other questions, just like any other time, but then she gets that deep thought look going and smiles. "How did it go at the beach today?"

"It was nice."

"Just nice?"

I nod, not giving anything more.

"How was the beach, Teddy?" She asks my talkative son.

"We played in da wawer and daddy was da shark! He got Ana, but _not_ me." He's proud of the fact that he outran his father as he continues, "Then daddy and Ana helped me build a castle this big." Teddy uses his hands to over exaggerate the size of our sand castle. "Ana got hurt though, but daddy kissed her better."

"You kissed Ana?!" Mia squeals while my mother and Kate look at me, just as excited at the news, if not surprised.

"Her hand." I clarify.

"So Ana really went to the beach with you?" Kate asks.

"She did," I say. "Did you really text mom, needing her help with something?"

"I did." _She lies! To my face! In front of my son!_

"Well, I have to go." I say since my mother agreed to watch Teddy and I have a lot to do and get ready before I pick Ana up.

"Where are you going?" Kate asks.

 _Should I lie like she's doing to me? Yeah right, she sent mom a text._

 _I'll just be evasive_.

"To get everything ready for tonight."

"What's happening tonight?" Her journalist blood is flowing. She knows there's a story here but she wont get it from me.

I just shrug and walk out.

I'm about to get back into my SUV when Kate comes running out of the house. I'm sure Teddy told them about my plans to have dinner with Ana.

"Hey, Christian!" She calls for me to wait, so I turn around. Once she's reached me near the SUV, she continues. "Just... Ana's been through a lot."

"What is that supposed to mean?" It sounds as if she's warning me.

"Just be careful with her, is all, don't rush anything." _She is warning me_. "I don't know how accepting she'll be of your type of relationships that you're used to, so... just, go easy on her. I'll have your balls for earrings if you hurt her."

 _The relationships I'm used to?_ I don't want that type of relationship with Ana, I don't want to beat and fuck her, I want romance, something I've never wanted before. Kate and the rest of my family know my past because I came clean to my parents and siblings once Teddy arrived but they also know I left the lifestyle behind the day I accepted being a father. _Why does she feel the need to tell me this?_

"You know something, don't you." It's not a question, I'm accusing her of knowing at least some of Ana's past.

 **...**

 **Apov**

I'm just getting out of the cold shower, not having enough money for gas and I can do without it since it's not winter yet, when I hear a car pull down the gravel road.

 _Shit!_ He's early, and I'm not ready, he said he wouldn't be here this soon.

I only hear one car door shut and instantly begin to panic thinking it's not Christian.

As I hear footsteps crunching on the gravel outside, my skin begins to crawl, goosebumps form all over my body and my heart feels as if it's fell into the pit of my stomach. Dread washes over me instantly. Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick. _It's not Christian, I would feel him_. I always seem to feel calm around Christian, even when I don't see him, and I don't know why. But I definitely do not feel calm at all, I'm starting to hyperventilate.

It's _him! He_ found me. Oh my god, _he_ found me.

I'm naked, only wearing a towel but I have to get out of here. I have to run! But I can't move.

"Ana, it's me, Kate." I hear her through my closed door before I hear the creaking of the porch announcing her arrival.

 _Oh, thank god._ It's not him, but I still have yet to move my back from the wall I backed into. My heart is still racing.

"Are you home?" She knocks on the door now. "Ana?"

I take a minute to calm down then answer the door with a smile. It takes me longer than it should to unlock all my locks and move my 2x4 door blocker, with my hands still shaking.

"Hi, Kate." I greet her, hoping I don't look as freaked out as I was moments earlier.

"Hey," She smiles at me. "I thought it would be a good idea to announce I was here instead of just coming up to knock. I hope I didn't scare you."

"Not at all." I lie. "But um- I don't have time to hang out tonight, I'm kind of trying to get ready, hence the towel I'm wearing."

"That's actually why I'm here."

"I'm sorry?" I ask confused.

"I'm here to help you get ready for your date with Christian."

"Date? It's not a date, it's just dinner." As I say this I realize how it sounds. "It's a date, isn't it."

Kate nods and looks at me with an I-told-you-so look.

"But Teddy will be there." I explain to her. _Okay, he was with us at the beach, but it didn't feel very friendly even with him there_.

"Teddy's with his grandma for the night. It's going to be just you and Christian having dinner. Alone. You okay with that?"

"Yeah." I surprisingly am. I know I shouldn't, but I am.

"I know he was planning to surprise you, but I didn't want you to be unprepared when he showed up alone."

"You're a great friend, Kate." I find myself calling her my friend. I would hug her if I wasn't only wearing a towel, it would make this too weird.

I'm slowly settling into this town and getting to know these people, unlike I did anywhere else. I think I finally found my home, where I belong, my safe haven.

"You'll think I'm the best when I get done with you." She grins as I let her inside.

She puts a big bag down on my bed and unzips it. It's filled with clothes and another bag with makeup and hair products.

 **...**

 **Cpov**

I have everything ready, even though this was a last minute idea, now all I need to do is pick up Ana.

I'm on my way to her shack now. I'm still upset about that fucking place, not only because it's unsafe but because I know she deserves better. _Maybe it's because of my start at life_. She's obviously on the run and could so easily turn to whoring herself out to earn money, but instead she works hard at restaurants, diners, and dive bars, just to earn enough money to survive. She probably chooses these places for their tips. I wonder if she has any actual job skills, if she went to college, or if she had a career wherever she was before here.

Hopefully I'll get to know her and her past life tonight. I'd also like to see where things go from here, if she's accepting of this dinner, that is not a date, and would perhaps give me a real date in the near future. If all goes well, hopefully she will be mine. Teddy would love it, he adores her. I can just imagine how he would react if Ana and I got together.

As I pull down the gravel road, I get pissed seeing Kate's car out front. _What is she doing here?!_

I get out and try not to fall to my death on the worn out porch. A little overdramatic, yes, but the fucking wood is so old and warped, I'm afraid my ass is going to fall through the rotten floor boards of this old porch. Every step I take towards the door is like a game of life or death. With every creak, it's like I'm waiting for a bear-trap to snap. Will this be the board that finally breaks, or the next?

Finally making it safely to the door, though I'm not entirely sure how, I knock.

I wait as I hear movement, even straightening my blue button down shirt and running my hands on my jean covered thighs to dry the sweat that seems to be building. I've never really been nervous before, but I can safely say, I'm nervous.

The door finally opens and it's Kate on the other side.

Before I can ask why she's here, she speaks.

"She'll be out soon." She says as she walks by, stepping onto the distressed porch with me.

 _Oh fuck, more weight to add to the game of chance_. I quickly step inside, letting only Kate be on the porch. She's much lighter than I am, surely it wont swallow her whole.

"Have fun tonight." She calls back on the way to her car. "And remember, if you hurt her I'll have your balls."

She climbs inside her BMW and drives off.

Turning around, the inside of her shack is not much better than the porch.

The walls are a two-toned, ugly mustard yellow, it looks as if they were originally white. A small table with two chairs near the kitchen, a tiny loveseat and no television are all that is in this main part of the shack. At least the floor boards inside seem slightly better than that porch. There's only one door that must lead to the bedroom, where Ana is, and the only bathroom must be accessible from the bedroom.

It's so fucking small in here, I feel like the walls are closing in. And it's not because I'm claustrophobic, I'm not. I've had a phobia before, and this is not it.

 _She lives in a fucking death trap for fuck's sake!_

"I'll be out in a minute." I hear her call from behind the only closed door.

While I'm waiting, I look around but there's really not much to look at that is appealing. I can see she tried to clean the place up as best as she could. And her main door has more than enough locks needed, but the door looks so weak and easy enough to break that the locks aren't really necessary. And what the fuck is that 2x4 doing next to the door? Noticing the hooks, I see it's for extra security.

 _This isn't going to work for me_.

The bedroom door opening stops me from my task of snooping through anything else.

 _Fuck me. And thank fuck for Katherine fucking Kavanagh. I never thought I was say that, but thank you, Kate!_

Anastasia is wearing a simple black dress but it fits her curves perfectly, emphasizing them, the fabric hugging her body like a fucking glove. I've never seen her wear makeup before, but she doesn't need it, however, the smoky eye and red lips are eye popping. And I know the heels are borrowed, but they look amazing.

I let my eyes slowly trail over her body as I take my time undressing her in my mind. I wonder what she has on under that dress...

"Kate said I should wear this." She tells me, bringing me from my dirty thoughts. "Should I change? I didn't know where we would be having dinner and I think this is a bit much, I tried telling her that but she insisted. I could put on jeans and a T-shirt really quick, if you'll just give me a minute."

She sounds just as nervous as I am, with her rambling.

"No," I have to clear my throat. Not releasing how dry my mouth is, I lick my lips. "What you have on now is fine. You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She smiles, blush forming on her cheeks. "Where's Teddy?"

I smile at being caught. I'm sure Kate told her, especially by the way Ana is dressed, that it would be just the two of us.

"He wanted to stay with his grandparents," I play it off. "I hope you're not disappointed."

"I don't mind. We're going there too, right? That's what you said at the beach."

"Actually," I rub the back of my neck. Okay, it's time to break the news, but it seems Kate already did that. Again, I'm thanking Kate. The last time I asked Ana out, she turned me down. "I was hoping it could just be the two of us. Not as a date," I quickly add. "Just to get to know each other better."

"I'd like that." She smiles.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She agrees, nothing like the first time I asked her out. "I have a feeling you're the kind of man who doesn't take no for an answer."

"You got that right," I blurt out.

She giggles, and once again, it's like music to my ears.

"Ready then?" I ask, holding out my hand for her.

She grabs my hand but I stop before we walk through the front door.

"Is there another way out of here?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I'm afraid your porch is going to eat me alive."

"It is not!" She laughs, but I'm serious.

"Do you have any idea how unsafe it is?"

"It's fine." She tells me and walks towards the door without a care of the man-eating porch.

I'm quick to get off the porch and wait near my car while she locks her shack. Like it would be that hard to break in. Like anyone would want to. The view of her ass in that dress, however, is amazing and I have to quickly adjust myself before she turns around and I'm caught with a bulge in my jeans.

When she turns around, I'm reminded of how beautiful she is.

I open the passenger door for her and then walk around to drive us to my place.

We're going to talk and I know she's a very private person, as am I, so I thought an intimate setting would be preferred.

It's a bit of a drive to my place from hers, because I live on the outskirts of town, so we talk along the way.

"So, you like Kate?"

"Yes. She's great."

"She's intrusive." I correct her.

"I can see that." She giggles and knows exactly what I mean. If Ana told her anything, it was because Kate forced it out of her.

"I met her four years ago." I tell her how Kate came into my life. "She interviewed me for her college newspaper and asked if I was gay."

"No she did not." Ana laughs, and I laugh at the memory, though I wasn't laughing at the time.

"She did." I confirm. "She had the flu too and gave it to me."

"Could nobody fill in for her?"

"I don't know, all I know is I kicked her out of my office. And then I found out that she and my brother started dating shortly after that. At first I thought it was to get a story on me, but she legitimately loves my brother. He loves her too, and shortly after meeting they got married. Been together every since. And as you know, two years ago they had Ava. She's not so bad when you get to know her, though."

"I like her."

"What do you two talk about?" I ask wanting to know. Kate wouldn't confirm or deny any-damn-thing, saying she promised not to tell anyone anything, including me. All she would say is, be careful with her. I have my suspicions though, nothing proven and my mind racing with thoughts.

"You, mostly."

"Me?" I'm more surprised that she admitted it than that she actually talks about me.

"Mhm. She told me the old you would've bought me a car by now."

"And a new house." I grumble my complaint.

"Hey!" She shouts offended. "I like my place. Okay, it may be-"

"A death trap." I finish for her but she playfully glares at me and continues.

"Small." She corrects me. "But it's mine and I love it."

"You love it?" _Bullshit._

"I do." She laughs.

"Compared to what?"

Her shutters come down, smile fading fast.

"Other places I've lived." She says quietly.

I decide not to push this subject further... yet.

It's quiet now while I drive, but it's not uncomfortable.

My house approaches so I turn down the driveway and park near the door.

"Wow." She breathes when she sees my place. Amazed, just like with Escala.

I get out then help her out. Together we walk up the few steps to the front doors.

I may live in a small town now, and my life is less about luxuries, but I sure as hell wasn't about to give up everything I worked hard for. It's just Teddy and I here, no staff, but Gail and my mother do drop by with frozen meals I can reheat. I've learned to cook small meals for Teddy and myself but they help with the bigger things. That, and we eat at Mama Mia's or my parents' place often.

I was offered help with the meal tonight, so I let Gail come by and cook the food. She sent me a text saying it was finished, just as I open the door. _Perfect timing_.

"It smells good in here." Ana inhales deeply when we walk through the front door.

"Spaghetti and meatballs." I tell her. "Teddy's suggestion. He saw it on some Disney movie and said it's what we should have for dinner."

"Lady and the Tramp?"

"Are you calling me a tramp?" I flirt. I think.

She laughs, loudly. And it's such a beautiful sound, I find myself wanting to hear her laugh more often.

I give her a mini tour on the way to the kitchen with promises of showing her around when we're done eating. I don't want our food to get cold if we end up in my bedroom. Not that that is why I brought her here, I'll let her take the lead with that. But if she wants to, I'm totally okay with that.

Gail has two plates in the warmer, complete with bread. No garlic. She must think this is a date as well.

I grab our plates while Ana grabs the two bowls of salad, and together we sit at the dining room table.

"So as I've said, this is just to get to know each other better." I start the conversation, not wanting her to think it's a date when she said she didn't want to date. "Teddy's growing fond of you, has been for awhile, he talks about you all the time, and I just want to get to know the woman he's been praising."

I nod for her to start eating while I grab us drinks.

"He's a sweet kid," She takes a bite of her salad while I pour our wine. "You should be proud."

"I am."

I sit at the head of the table, to be closer to her instead of sitting across from her, and join her in eating.

"So- I can get to know you too?"

"Of course." Maybe it will be easier for her to share her past with me if I share mine first.

"Do you mind if I ask what brought you here?"

"I don't mind," _And I want to know the same; what brought you here_.

"It looked like you had it all in Seattle but you move to a small town- Why? I know I shouldn't ask when I don't want to say my reason, but I'm curious. I mean, you were the CEO of a fortune 500 company, you had a penthouse in the sky, I'm sure you were living the life of luxury. What happened?"

"Well.-" I take a deep breath and prepare to tell her my story. "One night I got a call from my parents. They said I was to come to their place immediately, they had something very important to talk to me about and they wanted to talk to me in person as soon as possible. I was a different guy back then so I tried to blow them off but they weren't having it. I ended up going to their house, pissed at having to do so. When I got there, they had a newborn baby."

"Teddy?" She guesses.

"Yup. I've always been very adamant with birth-control, but apparently, I got one of my... um." Shit, Kate said Ana wouldn't be very accepting of my past sexual preferences.

"Girlfriends?" She tries to help me out.

"No. I've never had a girlfriend, she was my submissive." I decide to tell her the truth if I want the truth from her when it's her turn. Besides, we're talking about why I moved and how I got Teddy, not how I liked to flog before I fucked. "Anyway, after I end a relationship, they are not to contact me for any reason. I guess she tried to get in touch with me and tell me that she was pregnant with my baby, but my people wouldn't let her get anywhere near me, so she went to my parents' house in Bellevue. She didn't say anything other than to talk to me and handed the baby to my mother along with his paperwork. Then she left."

"Why didn't she say anything?"

"She was afraid I would've sued her. My sexual partners are required to sign an NDA, meaning they can't say anything about me to anyone."

"Do you want me to sign an NDA?"

"What?" _Why would I?_

"If we have sex." She bites her lip and blushes.

"You want to have sex?!" I nearly jump out of my chair and drag her to my bedroom, caveman style.

She covers her face with both of her hands to hide her embarrassment and shakes her head. She finally looks at me, still beat red.

"We're getting off track." She says. "Continue with your story, please."

 _I can't concentrate now, I'm thinking about sex!_

"Um." I clear my throat. "Where was I?"

"Your parents had a baby. I mean, your baby. Teddy."

"Right. I had a son, I was shell-shocked, I had to get away. So I left. I tried to call my therapist but he didn't answer. How was I to love and care for this baby if I didn't love and care for myself? I had to talk to someone but he wouldn't answer. It turns out he was at some school function for his kid. I ended up bumping into an old friend so we went for a drink. I told her everything that happened and she suggested that I put the baby up for adoption. I couldn't be a father, what kind of father would I be, right?"

"I think you're a wonderful father."

"Thank you." I smile at her, accepting the compliment. "But at the time, I didn't think I would be. The friend that I was talking to- Well, she also abused me when I was younger, though I didn't see it that way until that night. I always thought she helped me. I started thinking about the baby and what I would do if someone did even half of the shit I've been through to my son. I started thinking of everything I would do to any monster who tried to hurt him. That's when I realized she didn't help me, she never did, and I snapped."

Ana's eyes widen. _Shit._ She still looks intrigued to know so I continue.

"The bartender was worried that I might end up killing her so he threatened to call the police."

"Did you go to jail?"

"No. We were alone in the bar that night, just her, me and the bartender. But there was a bystander nearby, sitting in the corner. I didn't know it at the time but it was my personal security, Taylor. That man is worth his weight in gold, I tell ya. He convinced the bartender not to call them and Elena agreed as well. She didn't know how pissed I really was with her, I guess, and I've been known to have a temper and overreact. She soon enough figured it out though."

"What happened to her?"

"I was the silent partner of her salons; I felt I owed it to her to help her with her salons, with everything she did for me and for giving me the start-up money for GEH. Well, I sold my shares to her ex-husband for twice what they were worth. It was a win-win for me since the statue of limitations ran out."

"Wouldn't that be a bad idea? What if they got back together?"

"Trust me, he hates her more than I do. It's why I could get double what they were worth from him, he wanted to screw her over just as badly as I did. He lost money on the deal, but so did she. That was worth it to him."

Just thinking about the meeting I had with Linc concerning my shares of Esclava have me in a bad mood. It also proves how much control Elena had over me, how manipulative she is. And how blind I truly was.

When I was ending my submission to Elena, as I felt it was the right time to venture off on my own, the next day she said Linc found out about us and beat the shit out of her. She ended up in the hospital with multiple bruises and broken bones. It upset me that I was the cause of this punishment, so I agreed to let Elena be my submissive and help train me to become a Dom in the lifestyle instead of doing it on my own, and she would also give me the start up money for GEH. This new arrangement lasted until I was 21.

Little did I know, Linc didn't know shit about Elena and I so he never touched her. She had an intense sense with a vicious Dom at a club and didn't safe-word once. Then I found out, she's the one who filed for divorce, not him. She always told me it was Linc who filed and she would be out money because of it. She said she put away $100,000 for emergencies and would give it all to me. Apparently, it didn't surprise him that she was cheating and he told me she took half his money when she divorced him.

"Since he now owned controlling shares, he fucked with the salons until it wasn't bringing in any money. Then he ended up selling the salons slowly piece by piece until she had nothing." I continue telling Ana my story. "So anyway, after leaving the bar that night, I went back to my place and passed out. I wanted to go back to my parents' house but Taylor convinced me to sleep it off because I was so drunk. The next day I woke up with a hangover but I laid in bed for hours thinking of what I was going to do with this baby. I didn't know anything about babies. I knew I couldn't keep him, because I worked too damn much to have a baby, but I couldn't give him up either. After all these years, I was starting to sympathize with my birthmother."

"You're adopted?"

"Yeah."

I finish off my wine before I continue.

"After considering every option in the book, I went back to my parents house. I was set on giving him a better life than I had, even if that meant not with me. Sure I was financially able to care for him, but emotionally..." I shake my head. I was 50 shades of fucked up. "When I walked in, I looked like hell from my hangover. My mother was in the family room feeding the baby; my son. I sat next to her, she smiled and put Teddy in my lap so I could finish feeding him."

Fuck, I haven't thought about this in over four years. The way it felt when Teddy was in my arms the first time. My only flesh and blood.

"I asked her what his name was. I asked my mother what my son's name was because I didn't know it. Apparently she didn't either because his mother left it blank. I decided to name him Theodore, after my grandfather."

"I love the name Theodore!" She grins and I just laugh at her enthusiasm for Teddy's name. I'm sure she would be this excited over any name, but it shows how much she adores my son.

"We did all the necessary DNA testing to determine paternity, and when the results came back, they confirmed that the baby was mine. My father helped me with all the legal shit so Teddy would be mine and his mother couldn't come back and try to take him from me. At first, I was going to find her... but I decided against it. It's been almost five years and I haven't heard anything about her. While we were in Seattle last, I had my guy Welch run a check on her." When I had him run Ana's background check. "And as it turns out, she passed away 3 years ago."

Teddy's mother may have died, much like my own, but he will never be affected in the way I was.

"What was her name?"

"Hannah." She was my submissive after Leila and before Susannah.

"Do you have a picture to show Teddy if he's curious when he gets older?"

I shake my head. I've never really thought of that before, Teddy has never been curious or asked me why he doesn't have a mom. Yet. Maybe that's why he's so attached to Ana.

"The only photos I had isn't a photo he should see." It was my little insurance policy if my submissives talked. I would take photos of them, revealing in scene photos, both for insurance policies and as recreational use during the week if needed. "But I got rid of them. I could get the background check photo of her if he really wanted to know what she looked like."

"So you decided to sell your company, move here and raise your son?"

I nod.

"That's very sweet of you. It says a lot about who you are and about what you hold in your heart."

By now we've finished eating so we move to the sofa which faces the floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the water.

"Do you have any questions?" Before we get into your story.

"Just one," She says after thinking about it. "What is a submissive?"

 _Fuck! How am I going to explain this?_


	9. His Light

**Cpov**

"Do you have any questions?" Before we get into your story.

"Just one," She says after thinking about it. "What is a submissive?"

 _Fuck! How am I going to explain this to her?_

"Well, the women I've been with in the past were my sexual submissives. Meaning I was their dominant." I give her a half-ass explanation, but she is still looking at me, questioning the meaning.

"What does that mean?" As suspected, she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I'm going to be forced into explaining this kinky shit in detail. Just not too much detail.

"Do you know anything about- um," I swallow hard because if she thinks she knows BDSM but doesn't understand it, this could be bad. "BDSM?"

"I heard a song once, about chains and whips." She replies casually. "S and M. Is that what you're talking about?"

"Yes," I grin, thankful for that stupid fucking song. I cringed when I first heard it, Mia was obsessed with Rihanna and would play it over and over while I was freaking out if she really knew the truth behind those lyrics. "A sexual submissive wants the kink, like chains and whips. They want to be restrained, blindfolded, spanked, flogged, whatever their fetish is. They _want_ it."

There. That wasn't so bad. And she seems to be very accepting of this. Until her next question...

"You said you were a dominant? What is that?"

Explaining that I was a dominant and felt like a sadist isn't going to be as easy to explain. I'm now regretting bringing that up, but I have to tell her everything if I want the same in return. Well, she took discovering what a submissive was easy enough, maybe it wont be so bad when she learns what a dominant is.

"I used to-" I'm just going to throw it out there, I'm going to rip it off like a band-aid. "I used to beat and fuck woman for my pleasure."

"Shit!" I shout when she turns pale fucking white, eyes wide.

 _YOU DUMBASS, GREY!_

"Ana!"

I quickly approach her on her side of the couch, but before I can reach her she falls off and crawls backwards to get away from me.

"Stay away from me." She warns me, now on the floor, keeping her eyes on me as she moves further and further away.

I slowly stand up, keeping my hands up in surrender.

"Ana," I cautiously approach her. "I'm not going to hurt you."

She looks around for something, I'm not sure what. Something to use as a weapon to protect herself, a way out, I don't know.

"Ana, please, listen to me." I keep my voice calm. "Let me explain."

"You beat woman! And then you had sex with them! For your pleasure!" She repeats my words. "That's what you said!"

The voice inside my head is screaming, _you idiot! That was not the way to tell her! Everything was going fine until you blurted out that you beat woman, you fucking idiot!_

"It's not like that, you have nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to hurt you, I would _never_ hurt you."

"I have to go."

"No!" I panic. "Please, no. I don't want you to leave, Teddy would be devastated. And I..." Not able to get the words I want to say out, I swallow hard and change direction. "Do you want me to call Kate or my mother over while I explain it to you?"

"They know?!" She asks unbelieving. "Your _mother_ knows?"

"They do. I can have one of them come over, Kate if you're more comfortable with her, I just don't want you to go. BDSM is not what you think it is, I want to explain. I probably shouldn't have said it like that, Kate warned me to be gentle with this subject, but I just wanted to get it out and over with, just like when I told my parents over 4 years ago." Fuck, and now I'm rambling when I don't know if she wants someone here for her or if she'll stay to hear me out. "Do you want me to call Kate?"

"No," She shakes her head.

"Are you going to stay?" _Please don't leave. Please_.

She stays quiet, thinking and considering her options. I'm sure if I let her leave my house now, she'd leave town a second later. I can't let that happen, she has to hear me out.

"Will you listen to what I have to say?" I ask when she stays quiet for too long. "I wont touch you, I just want to talk."

She nods.

"Do you want to sit on the couch with me?" I offer.

She shakes her head and stays near the wall that she backed into.

I slowly sit on the sofa and watch her. She seems to be on high alert, hopefully I can talk my way out of this.

"BDSM is consensual." I begin. "Everything I did to those women was consensual, they wanted it." _Fuck, that doesn't sound any better! I can't explain this shit to her!_

Taking a deep breath, I try again.

"I got into the lifestyle because I was seduced by an older woman, the woman I told you about, she was into the BDSM lifestyle. I was her submissive from 15-19, after I turned 20 she trained me to be a dominant until I was 21 and then I found other willing partners." _Well, she found them for me but that's getting too much into it when I have to talk my way out of this mess_. "I was abused when Elena thought me, but I adhered to the BDSM motto; Safe, Sane, Consensual, I promise you. There is nothing wrong with BDSM when it's practiced the way it is intended. All the women I've been with wanted me to do everything I did to them and more. They would even do things just so they would be punished, and they could stop me at anytime with the use of a safe-word. It's nothing like you're thinking. I never hit them outside of a scene or against their will."

The last thing I want is for her to think I'm going around beating women because I want to.

"To prove my point," I continue, "I could call any of my past submissives and offer them a contract again, and they would accept in a heartbeat." _Fuck, I'm not explaining this very well_. "But I'm done with that lifestyle, not because it was bad or wrong, I found pleasure in it immensely, but because I didn't want Teddy around that lifestyle. Again, not because it's wrong but because I wanted him to have what I didn't; a normal start to life. Just like any parent wouldn't want their child to walk in on them having sex, I didn't want Teddy to question that room even if it was locked. That's why I've started remodeling it. God, am I explaining this right? Do you still want to leave? Fuck, I hope not. Teddy would never forgive me if I was the reason you left."

I can't believe how much I fucked this up all because of my fucked up past. My first date, not date, and I already fucked it up. This has got to be a record of some kind. She's going to leave for sure now, even after my explanation, because I used to beat the shit out of women, albeit they were willing to let me and got off on it. That's it, I've lost her before I even had her.

She's quiet, but I'm not longer looking at her. I can't bare to see that terrified look aimed at me. I have my elbows leaning on my thighs, hands clasped together. All my focus is on my hands.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I mumble in defeat.

Since I'm not looking at her, she's forced to speak.

"No." She whispers from across the room. But of course she doesn't want me to, she probably doesn't want anything to do with me.

"I can have Kate pick you up." I tell her.

"Christian, I- I didn't, I just- I thought..." She tries to apologize.

"I know what you thought, Ana, it's the reason I didn't tell my parents or anyone else in my life until after Teddy changed my way of thinking."

"So they wouldn't look at you the way I just did." She guesses. "Christian, I'm so sorry for reacting that way, it's just- I can't-"

"It's okay, Ana. I'm not asking you to."

We sit in silence, and surprisingly it's not uncomfortable with what just happened. I can tell she's overthinking but not about what. It makes me wonder if she's thinking about leaving, if she wants me to take her home, or Kate, so she can leave town and get far away from a man who she thinks wants to beat her. I've explained BDSM and my involvement as best as I could. Of course I left out all the details, but I'm sure she's over there making up her own mind of what I did. And she's probably right.

After we've been sitting like this for awhile, I break the silence.

"So have you figured it out yet?" I ask her.

"Figured what out?"

"Whatever has your mind racing over there. Are you going to leave, take off to parts unknown as soon as you can, or are you going to stay?"

"I haven't figured anything out yet, but I'm happy here. I want to stay."

 _Stay? Stay with me, or here in town,_ I want to ask but I don't.

"Do you want to join me on the couch?" I ask instead.

"Yeah," She giggles. "I guess I should get off the floor now, huh."

I'm pleased when she seems back to herself again, no longer terrified of me.

I stay put as she sits next to me. I don't want to frighten her if she's still scared of the whole BDSM thing and is just acting like she's okay.

As we sit in silence again, I start to think back to how things ended with Elena and I.

 _~FLASHBACK~_

 _I don't know where the fuck I am, I don't remember what I was doing. The last thing I remember, I was at my parents' house, leaving. I know I said, "Fuck this shit," and left, but I don't remember why or how I got to wherever I am. I don't know if I walked, drove myself or if Taylor drove me to wherever I am._

 _As I look around, I see that I'm in Seattle, as I should be. But, I'm standing in front of a bar. I don't go to the fucking bar, if I want to drink I'll do it alone at Escala._

 _A woman pushing her baby in a stroller captures my attention and I remember why I'm here. I need to talk and I need a drink. Perhaps a double._

I can't be a father. I just can't.

 _Entering the bar, I look around for Elena._

 _I called Flynn but he was busy at his son's school and couldn't meet me for an emergency session, so instead of seeing my shrink tomorrow, I called Elena. I need to talk and I need to talk now. Elena has always given me good advice, I can always talk to her. She knows me better than anyone. She'll know what I should do._

 _Walking up to the bar, I order a bourbon, telling the bartender to keep them coming, then sit next to Elena._

 _"You look like shit." She compliments me._

 _"Thanks," I gripe as I swallow more than necessary of my drink._ _The glass is now half empty before I pull it way from my mouth._

 _The bartender has already lined up my next glass so I down the rest of my first drink and pick up the second._

 _"Well..." She starts after awhile of us just sitting here. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"_

 _"My parents called me." I begin, making sure we wont be overheard. We're alone in the bar, the bartender not in earshot so I continue, "Apparently, a submissive went to see them."_

 _"Who?!" She's immediately shocked then pissed that any one in the lifestyle, especially one of her girls, would talk._

 _"She didn't say anything about anything." I calm her. "However, she did drop something off to them because she couldn't get ahold of me."_

 _"What was it?" She leans forward, like I'm going to tell her Hannah delivered a line of sex toys._

 _"A baby," I tell her. "My baby, to be exact. I'm a father."_

 _"Bullshit!" She cackles._

 _"It's true. My mother was feeding the baby when I left. I'll be getting DNA testing done, obviously, but he looks exactly like me. I know he's mine."_

 _"Well, this serves you right. I've told you time and time again to get a vasectomy, but no, you chose to 'control' our submissive's birth control. Who's to say she's even taking the damn thing or going to her appointments? I warned you something like this would happen eventually and they would use it against you for fame and fortune. I tried to tell you to take care of it yourself, but you wouldn't hear of it."_

 _Her scolding me is only adding to my anger. It feels as if I'm her submissive again and she's on the verge of punishing me._

 _I clench my jaw and grind my teeth, holding my glass firmly in my hand._

 _"The only problem there, Elena, is I couldn't find a qualified doctor who would preform the surgery on me. Apparently I'm 'too young and may change my mind', regardless of how much money I have to bribe them with."_ I did find one doctor who would preform the operation when I turn 30. _"Besides, I have my subs give me their health records to prove they are safe before we begin, not to mention I do my own search of their records to ensure they are legit. I know when they are due for another round and I'm given the records every time, both by them and by Welch. I guess she was given a bad batch and her shot just ran out early."_

 _"My guy could've done it when you were 15," She counters, "he doesn't care how old you are."_

 _"And have my nuts turn out like your breasts?" I nod towards her lopsided tits as I take another drink. "No, thank you."_

 _She scoffs at me, offended, then fixes the padding in her one side so her breasts look even._

 _"He's going to fix it for me next week." She insists. "And they don't chop your nuts off, you're not a dog. Well..." She smirks at memories._

 _"What the fuck am I going to do, Elena?" I ask the only person who's ever been there for me about my predicament._

 _Without waiting for her answer, I sigh and down the last bit of bourbon before I move onto the glass the bartender just placed in front of me._

 _"Did the sub say she wanted anything?"_

 _"No, nothing. She just dropped him off and left."_

 _"So she doesn't want money or fame?" She asks like it's ridiculous that Hannah would give up the chance to blackmail me._

 _"It would appear so, " As unbelieving as it is. "But now I'm stuck with this kid. My kid."_

 _"You could give the baby up." She suggests. "In fact you should, obviously."_

 _I nod in agreement._ What kind of father would I be? _There's no way I would be able to care and love him like a father should._

 _"Maybe, but my parents wouldn't be very happy if I did," They wouldn't be very happy if they knew the lifestyle I lived either. I prefer them in the dark about my desires, as anyone would, but they don't need to know the fucked up shit I do or how I like to fuck. It's better that they don't know, but there's no hiding this baby from them, they are the ones that called to inform me about him. He shouldn't be with someone like me, he should be with loving parents, like the Greys. And then an idea pops into my head._

 _"It doesn't matter what they think, darling, if you are not wanting to be a father, that's your choice. You're a grown man who can make his own decisions and I say you give him up."_

 _"Perhaps they will adopt him."_

 _"HA!" She fake laughs. "Now that's a joke! Your parents couldn't handle the three they took in."_

 _"I know I didn't turn out well, but Mia and Elliot did."_

 _"Yeah," She sarcastically disagrees, "Elliot is an immature whore who sleeps around with all of Seattle, someone your parents should be real proud of. He's never going to settle down or get married like they dream of. And if he gives them grandchildren, it will be from multiple women. I'm sure he has a few illegitimate children running around now that he doesn't know about."_

 _"I am as well," I've fucked so many women, I've lost count. If my family only knew how gay I am not._ I guess they do now _. "I'm just better at hiding it. I_ was _better at hiding it."_

 _"Exactly, darling, you don't flaunt your promiscuous ways." She rubs my arm to soothe me. "And little Mia. Why she's just one spoiled brat who will never learn to survive on her own. She's never going to get a job or accomplish anything in life. Why should she? She has your parents coddling her, and her older brothers baby her. Tell me, is she still shopping in Paris?"_

 _"She just got home from culinary school." I defend my sister. "She went to Paris for school, not to shop."_

 _"Darling, we both know she only went to that school so she could get out of going to college. She's not into cooking, baking, or anything restaurant related. She's more into fashion. Trust me, that's the real reason she went to Paris."_

 _"Mia and Elliot turned out fine." I growl. "At least they didn't end up like me."_

 _"You turned out wonderfully," She counters, grinning proudly._

 _"Yeah, thanks to you." I scowl as I drink more. I'm not sure what number glass this is, but I'm starting to feel the alcohol's affect._

 _"You are just proving my point as to why your parents should not adopt this child. Not to mention the fact that you don't need to be involved with a baby. If they take this child in, you are going to be forced to be involved with his upbringing whether you like it or not. Do you really want to be tied down? As I've told you about love, children are worse. They're like little, loud, messy leeches and will suck the life right out of you. You wont be able to do anything with a brat hanging off of you. Trust me, baby, you're better off alone."_

 _Flashes of my life hit me hard._ Alone. _I've been alone nearly all my life and I've been miserable. While I do enjoy my adult life, if I continue to live my life alone, I'll stay miserable._

 _Elena starts to go on and on about how she was able to fool my parents, priding on the fact that they still do not know of our envolvment. They don't know anything about what she did when I was younger and they know nothing now. She's saying how they would let it happen again to this baby, to my son._

 _Now that I'm a father, albeit I've only known for a couple hours, all I can think about is how I would kill anyone who laid a finger on my son. One hair out of place on his innocent little head and whoever was responsible would be on their ass. No pimp would use him as a punching bag or an ashtray, he would never know the feeling of what it's like to go hungry, the taste of moldy cheese or frozen peas, no Domme would train him to be her pet while she beat him with a cane for getting hard at looking at tits for the first time at the age of 15, he wouldn't be a lonely, miserable, coldhearted bastard stuck in a tedious routine of running a company that thrives on selling off other companies piece by piece, and he wouldn't beat the shit out of girls that look like his birthmother. He would love and be loved._

 _I want better for my son._

 _"Darling, the muscles in your arms are phenomenal." Elena's purring and touching of my forearm pulls me from my thoughts and stops me from breaking the glass in my hand. "You are obviously so stressed out about this. What do you say, let's go back to your place for a little stress relief."_

Is she coming on to me? Or am I just drunk?

 _"It'll be like old times," She practically purrs in my ear, her hand now on my thigh slowly creeping up. But her touch does the opposite of what she planned. It's revolting and I feel as if I'm going to be sick._

 _I grab her hand, stopping her from reaching for her destination; my limp dick._

 _She made a pass at me? I've been drinking, why would she come onto me when I'm vulnerable? Fuck. I was vulnerable when she came onto me when I was 15, how did I not see this before?!_

 _"There will be no reminesing tonight." I growl at her with my teeth clenched tight, I'm surprised they haven't turned to dust by now. "Or any other night."_

 _She brushes it off as a joke but I'm seeing red, nothing but red as I think about someone taking advantage of my son like she has to me so many times before._

 _After all these years, I finally see it. Elena never wanted to help me, was never my friend, she only taught me the lifestyle for her own sick, selfish reasons. She is nothing but a predator. She manipulated me. She played me. After all these years, she's still doing it. We may not have a sexual relationship anymore, but I'm still her submissive, doing everything she wants and she rewards me with a submissive of my own._

 _Fucking bitch!_

 _~END OF FLASHBACK~_

I launched myself at her that night, trying to get revenge. Not only for me, but for anyone else she may have done this to, and for those she had yet to come across. Like my son.

That night was one big mess. The bartender jumped over the bar and tried to pry me off of her. Elena looked a mixture of turned on and confused as I wrapped my hands around her throat, probably wondering why I was making a scene like this in public instead of going back to Escala. Taylor was there, I later learned he was watching the whole time from a corner booth. He convinced the bartender not to call the police. Since Taylor was able to get me off of Elena, she told the bartender not to as well.

She was in for a real treat when I snapped the fuck out on her while Taylor held me back and ended our so-called friendship right then and there. She thought I was overreacting because I was drunk, which I did have well over my limit that night, but the next day she realized how serious I was when Linc now had controlling shares of Esclava.

I wanted to go back to my patents' house that night, but Taylor convinced my drunk self it wasn't a great idea. So I slept it off and went back the next morning. My parents were pissed when I showed up, devastated when I told them everything about Elena and I, and overjoyed that I finally found the so-called light.

I took Teddy in without knowing anything about babies. Luckily I was able to stay with my parents for a few months so they could help me while I got my shit sorted out. I ended up selling most of GEH to Ros, as much as she could afford, because she deserved it. I wanted to get away, away from the past, away from the memories, so I moved. I thought about going to my place in Aspen, but I do still attend business meetings and I do love living on the west coast. Washington is my home.

"So, that's why I left Seattle and moved here." I get us back on track. I told Ana my story and now I want to know hers. "I could've moved anywhere but I wanted something quiet and down-to-earth for Teddy, and not something too far away since I still have business in Seattle on rare occasions, as you saw awhile back."

"You left everything behind. Your job, your life, everything. You didn't have to do that, you could've been selfish and put Teddy up for adoption and carried on with your life exactly the way it was."

"Teddy was more important than GEH or living a bachelor lifestyle. I did it for him, for me too but mostly for him. I have a past, yes, we all do, and it's made me the man I am today, but it's not who I am. I'm just Christian. My life was made up of a series of happenstances; My birthmother just so happened to be a neglectful crack-whore, which is how Grace and Carrick were able to adopt me. A manipulative older woman happened to seduce an underage 15 year old boy, which is how I met Teddy's mother; through the lifestyle taught to me. I felt my son deserved a better start at life than I did so I moved us here, which is where I met you. I left my old life because my new life needed it."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It wasn't at first but it can be."

"But, what if the past isn't in the past? What if it follows you no matter where you go or how often you move. What if the past just _wont_ leave you alone?"

My suspicions of her past are being confirmed left and right tonight. The way she reacted to me being a dominant and the way she's talking about the past like it's a person. This is the perfect opportunity to start her story.

"You mean, what if he finds you?"

"What did you say?"

"You heard me." _Okay, here goes nothing. Or everything_. "I'm guessing you're running away from someone. And maybe, judging by your reaction to me being an ex-dominant, it's your husband and he was abusive?"

"How do you- Who told you?" She confirms my thoughts with that. "It was Kate, wasn't it."

"No one told me anything," I assure her. As much as I tried getting it out of Kate, she wouldn't budge. "But your reaction tells me that I'm right. Is he trying to find you? Is that why you move around a lot?"

"I should go." She stands but so do I.

"I told you my past, Ana, it's only fair."

"But- But, what if-"

"What if what? I'm not going to rat you out or tell anyone anything, Ana, you have my word." I continue when she looks nervous, "Baby, I just told you I was a fucking BDSM dominant with his own personal Playroom inside his apartment, complete with his own set of implements to use on his willing submissives. Do you have any idea how terrified I was that you would run from me once you learned my past?" _For fuck's sake, she was horrified when she learned what a dominant was_. _Her past can't be worse than that, can it?_

"Okay. Okay." She takes a deep breath and slowly blows it out before she continues. "And just so you know, I like when you call me baby. That's the second time you've done it and it gives me crazy butterflies."

"I'll make it a point to call you baby more often." I can't help but smirk at the thought. I've never really used pet names like that before, but I'm finding that I like it too.

She gives me a small smile that I'm sure would be much bigger if she wasn't about to tell me about her past.

"So, you're right, I am running. I didn't think it was obvious, which is why I keep to myself, but you figured it out. Um. I guess I should start at the beginning."

"Let's sit." I offer since we're both still standing.

Once we're both sitting back on the couch, she begins.

"When I was 18 my parents died in a car accident and I was alone. I was too old to go into the foster care system and too young to afford a place of my own. My parents didn't have life insurance, they couldn't afford it I guess, so a few months later the bank took our house. I had no where to go and no college education."

"I'm sorry about your parents," I give her my condolences. "Did you have any family or friends to help you?"

"They were only children so I had no aunts or uncles, and my grandparents were no longer alive either so I had nobody. I _literally_ had no one. Thankfully I was able to find a room for rent, it was cheap and the lady was older..." She pauses and I suspect this is where she's going to get into the heavy shit, as if that wasn't heartbreaking enough.

Here I was, avoiding my family like the plague... But at least I had a family, she doesn't have anyone. I wouldn't have anyone if it weren't for the Greys. I owe them so much.

"I met this guy when I was working at this coffee shop." She starts again. "I was 19, he was older. The coffee shop was attached to this book store, so he was a regular throughout the day. I love books so when he told me he was a writer that broke the ice, so to speak, and we hit it off fast after that. We went out a few times, but I only ever saw him as a friend.

"After awhile he asked me to marry him. I couldn't believe it, I mean, we hadn't even had sex yet. Not that I wanted to have sex with him, I thought we were just friends. Anyway... I didn't want marry him, I wasn't ready, but what other choice did I have? I told him I needed to think about it, he didn't look very happy with my answer but gave me time. I went home and started thinking about my life. How was I going to survive life without help, and he was willing to help. Long story short, we got married and shortly after he started hitting me."

"So you are running from your husband." _Bastard._

"Yup," She agrees like we're talking about the weather. "I'm running from my abusive husband."

Wanting to hold her, I pull her toward me. I'm pleased when she willingly lets me wrap my arms around her.

I continue to hold her on the couch while she tells me her story.

"He would hit me all the time, and at first I thought it was my fault." A tear rolls down her cheek so I wipe it away with my thumb. "But then when I would do everything _exactly_ the way he liked it, and I would still get hit, I knew it wasn't me. ... I tried so many times to get away from him, more times than I can count, but I never had enough money to run far enough. I no longer worked, it was all his money, so I would steal a few dollars from him here and there, just small amounts so he wouldn't notice. I got away twice. But he found me and brought me back both times. He said, the last time he brought me back, that if I ran away again he would kill me. But I knew if I stayed, he would eventually kill me. It didn't matter if I stayed or if I left because I would die either way, so I might as well fight for my life, right?

"That night it was either fight or flight, and I did both. I stabbed him and ran. I had no place to go so I ran to my neighbor's house. I had been working for them to earn money, enough to get me as far away as possible because the few dollars I would take from him wasn't enough. They helped me get away that night."

 _She stabbed him? I know she didn't kill him because she's still afraid he's going to find her._

"I did a background check on you." I admit. "Well, Anastasia Steele."

"Kate suggested you might've."

"What's your real name?"

"Dakota. It's funny that I'm starting my life over as Ana because my father always liked the name Ana, but my mother thought it was too plain so she named me Dakota."

"You look like an Ana. Dakota doesn't suit you, Anastasia suits you. To me, you will forever be Ana."

"I like being Ana." She snuggles against me. "I'm glad I came here, Christian."

"I am too." I kiss her head as I continue to hold her. "I'm just glad you escaped that hellhole."

"I almost didn't." She shivers remembering that night.

"What do you mean?"

* * *

 _ **Hope to see you in the Facebook group:**_ **FSoG Fanfic Obsessed. _Shout out to the lovely ladies who gave me the idea to use Dakota as the "fake" Anastasia_.**


	10. Her Escape

_**Doing things a little differently, this whole chapter is a flashback.**_

 _ ***I'm not sure if I need to put up a**_ **trigger warning** _ **or not for this, I've never done that before, but I'll do it anyway, just incase.***_

 **Apov**

I have my plan in place, everything is ready and this time I'm going to completely disappear so he wont be able to find me. It's not the first time I've done this, I've escaped twice before but he found me. He said he will always find me and bring me back because I'm his, I belong to him. _Til death do us part_. The last time, last year, he threatened that if I ran away again he would kill me, all while holding a gun to my head. But those times I ran, it was just spur of the moments, I had no plan, but this time I am prepared. Just three more days.

Over the years, I've become a great actress, so I don't think he suspects anything. At least I hope he doesn't.

In three days he's going on a business trip that will take him at least a couple days to wrap up. He's going to a major publishing house, but he wouldn't tell me where, to see if he can finally be published. I guess anyone can be a writer, but when he told me he was I thought he meant he was a published writer. I'm just thankful that he's not forcing me to join him. I don't know why he's not making me come, usually I'm forced to, but I'm not about to complain. He's only going to be gone a couple days, but it's plenty of time for me to escape this prison, this hell that I'm living.

Since I have to wait three days before I can make my move, I continue my everyday as I would any other day. I'm not allowed to work, so I clean our house and cook dinner before he arrives home. He calls me throughout the day, as usual and sometimes he drives by the house or even comes home while he's on break, if he's in the area, to make sure I'm here. So I have to stay home alone, all day, everyday. Not that I can go anywhere, I don't have a car, I'm not allowed to drive and I don't have my license. And the only phone I have is the landline so he can call me, I don't need a cell phone because I don't go anywhere unless he takes me. Besides, it's not like I have any friends.

Even though he controls every aspect of my life, there is one thing he doesn't know about. I know if he knew, I would be punished so I've been keeping it from him.

We just moved into this neighborhood last summer and we've yet to meet the neighbors... Or so he thinks. I'm only allowed to go outside if I'm in the back yard because we have a privacy fence so nobody can see me. But a few weeks after we moved in, I met our next door neighbors; a sweet elderly couple.

The first time I didn't say anything, the elder woman was singing while she was gardening, I just sat outside and enjoyed the sweet lyrics. When I finally got the nerve to peek over the fence one day, her husband was with her. I just observed their loving interaction, not being seen, wishing that I had a love like that. They were bickering but it was all in good spirit and both were very respectful. It wasn't until almost a month later that I finally got up enough courage to speak. I don't talk to anyone, only _him,_ and I was beginning to feel lonely.

She would come outside around the same time everyday to check on her garden. I would make it a point to come outside then so we could talk, telling him my reason for going outside was because I wanted to start a garden so he has fresh vegetables with his dinner. Thankfully it was while he was at work so he wasn't home to see me talking to our neighbor over the fence.

It gave me a bit of freedom, if only an allusion, and she helped me with my mini garden, nothing compared to hers.

When the weather got colder, I barely saw her. It wasn't until I stopped by with a freshly baked apple pie that I learned she was ill. That's when I volunteered to clean and cook meals for them until she was able to. They wanted to pay me, and at first I refused, I was only doing it out of the kindness of my heart because they were my friends, but they insisted.

I'm grateful for it now, it's how I was able to save up enough money to run away from him.

Our relationship wasn't always like this, believe me, if it was I never would've agreed to marry him. I thought he was going to save me, not that I would need saving from him. The first time he hit me was on our honeymoon because I was a virgin. _What did he want, to marry a slut?_ After that, it gradually increased over time until it was an everyday occurrence. And of course, it was never his fault, it was mine. He always apologizes eventually and 'makes it up to me' with gifts or sex, things he thinks I want. But there comes a time when enough is enough. And I've had enough.

Checking the time, I see I have about an hour until he will be home.

I start to prepare dinner, including desert. I don't want him to suspect anything so I continue on with what is expected of me. _Maybe he wont hit me these next few days before I make my escape if I don't make him angry._ Unfortunately we don't have enough apples to make another apple pie since I just made one for our neighbors. I'll have to pick some up the next time he takes me grocery shopping. Ugh, I hate grocery shopping, he's always standing over me. I wish I could go alone and have him pick me up when I'm done, but that's not allowed.

Deciding to make sugar cookies for him instead, I gather all the ingredients I'll need.

I want to bake them before I start dinner, so it looks like I've been doing something today other than talking to our neighbors. It's easy enough to keep the house clean when you're home alone all day, everyday.

As I grab the mixing bowl, I accidently knock over the sugar dish. I try to catch it but alas my cat-like reflexes suck. It falls to the floor, breaking on contact and all the sugar goes everywhere.

"NO!"

 _Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit!_

I just mopped the kitchen and now I have a sugar mess to clean up, not to mention no sugar to make the cookies! My only salvation is that he wont be home for another hour which gives me time to clean, but now he wont have any sugar for his coffee tomorrow morning and I don't know what I'm going to make him for desert tonight.

Tears begin streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably as I clean the mess I've made.

 _I can't take it, I can't, not when I'm so close to leaving._

Deciding to ask our neighbors if they have a cup of sugar I can borrow, _such a cliché, I know_ , I put on my boots and winter coat since it's cold outside.

The winter storm has just started so it's a bit windy and of course wet. I'm starting to regret my decision to run when it's this cold outside, but everything didn't come together until just now and I don't think I can wait any longer. These three days are nearly torture enough.

Making it to their front door for the second time today, I ring the bell and wait for one of them to answer.

"Sweetheart." The kind, elder gentleman smiles at me. I don't usually come over this close to the time that he's home, so I'm sure he's surprised to see me.

"I can't stay long." I tell him, stepping inside when he opens the door wider for me, so he can close the door to keep the warmth in and the cold out.

I stay near the door and keep my stuff on.

"I was just wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar? I'll grab you a bag when I get to the store."

"Nonsense, dear," He brushes my offer off. "Come into the kitchen, grandma is in there and we'll get you plenty of sugar."

I smile, loving that they insisted I call them grandma and grandpa.

So I don't get snow all over their house, I slip off my boots and follow him through the house.

We make our way to the kitchen, making small talk as we do.

"Ma," He calls attention to his wife, who is making their own dinner. "Dakota needs some sugar."

"Oh, of course."

She stops what she's doing to grab a reusable container then fills it up with sugar, more than the cup I asked for.

As she does, I smile at the little growth chart of her grandchildren. The one and only time we talked about family, she told me her daughter and family moved to the west coast many years ago, so the initials of the two little ones; E, whose mark comes up to my ribs, & C, whose mark only comes up to my hips, are much older and taller now. They visited her after they moved so there are many notches in the door frame. But little C's stopped moving long before E's and there was now an M in its place.

I've always wondered why and what happened to little C, but never asked. I've never even asked what the initials stand for. We don't talk much about family since I told her about my parents. I think she doesn't want to bring up bad memories for me so she doesn't mention hers any more. We usually talk about recipes, household tips, and gardening.

"What are you planning on doing with the sugar, dear?" She asks because I'm sure she knows it's for a recipe and wants in on the goods.

I tell her I was planning to bake sugar cookies, nothing special, and what happened to the sugar I had. She gives me her recipe for her famous sugar cookies that her grandchildren use to love, I'm sure they still do but it's been awhile since she's seen them. I'm sure it's why they spoil me.

Once she's given me the container of sugar and the recipe for sugar cookies, she sends me on my way.

Of course I tell them I will be back tomorrow, but I haven't told them I'm leaving permanently. I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye just yet.

The snow is coming down faster than when I first stepped out. Hopefully it will give me more time to make everything before he gets home.

As I make my way to our house, I panic when I see tire tracks leading into the garage.

 _Holy fuck!_ He's home early.

"Dakota?!" I hear him shout as soon as I rush in.

My heartbeat picks up and I try to calm myself when he comes from the kitchen and storms over to me.

"Hi." I smile at him, trying not to look afraid.

"Where have you been?" He demands once he's reached me.

"I was just borrowing-"

 _SLAP._ He smacks my face hard, but not hard enough to leave a mark. He knows where to hit me and how hard.

"You know I don't like you talking to the neighbors! They're nothing but gossips!"

"I didn't-"

 _SLAP._ The smack is harder this time and I'm sure I may have a mark this time. But I don't cry, I hold it back. It always makes him angry when I cry and he'll hit me more or harder, giving me something to cry about.

"And now you're lying. You know how I feel about lying, damn it!"

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

He glares at me and stomps off to the living room.

I finally take off my coat and boots, acting as if nothing happened and go into the kitchen to start dinner. Since he's home, and already hit me, I'll just make his dinner now instead of baking cookies. Perhaps I'll make them later, after dinner. It will give me something to do.

Getting to it, I start everything needed for steak and potatoes, as well as a side salad.

About halfway through, I begin to make the salad, cutting the vegetables exactly the way he likes. Chopped, not diced.

When he comes into the kitchen, I act as normally as I can, hoping he doesn't suspect anything, but that feeling of dread washes over me once again. I swear he knows, he knows I've been working, that I have money, that I've packed a little of my clothes and basic necessities. He knows that in exactly three days, when he goes on his business trip, I wont be here when he returns home.

I stop what I'm doing when he comes up behind me, setting the knife down but keeping it grasped in my hand if needed.

A shiver runs down my spine as he moves my hair to one side.

"I'm sorry." He always apologizes.

"I know." I no longer argue with him, it only makes things worse.

"I've just been so stressed at work, and you just don't think sometimes." He comes up with an excuse, always blaming me. "You know I don't like you talking to the neighbors, they gossip and you know I don't like people talking about us behind our backs."

The last time he caught me talking to the neighbors, they were arrested and we moved. I know that sounds weird, but trust me, he's capable of it happening.

"I know." It's always my fault.

"Let me make it up to you," He begins to kiss my neck.

"After dinner?" I suggest, trying not sound like I'm begging.

I've never been so happy for food to be in the oven in my entire life.

"Hmmm. Okay." He smacks my hip then grips it hard, almost in warning. "But after dinner your ass is mine."

When he moves away, I continue on with making the salad. He grabs a glass, filling it with alcohol before he leaves the kitchen.

Letting out the breath I didn't realize I was holding as I set the knife down again, I sigh in relief that he didn't hit me on this visit to the kitchen.

 _Only three more days. Only three more days and I will be gone forever._

 **...**

I'm just plating our food when the doorbell rings. I'm not allowed to answer the door so I ignore it.

"You didn't have to do that." I hear him say to whoever was at the door. He sounds put-off so I stop what I'm doing to listen.

I hope it's not our neighbors, they've never came over here before, I wouldn't want them to be caught in the crossfire like the last time I tried to make friends. But from the distance from the kitchen and the front door, I can't hear anyone but him.

"I guess. Come in."

"Shit," I whisper and hurriedly make sure I'm presentable, just the way he prefers.

It's not long before he comes into the kitchen again. I pay no attention to the man in uniform behind him, he would think I was checking him out if I made any type of eye contact with another man.

"Dakota, would you get us some coffee please?" He asks, like a loving husband to the outsider who is now standing in our kitchen.

"Sure." I happily play along.

I don't drink coffee so he has this fancy coffee maker that only does one cup at a time, whenever he wants it. I grab two mugs down from the cabinet and start to work the machine.

"Would you like cream or sugar?" I ask his guest since I don't know how he takes his coffee.

"Both, please." He replies.

Hearing him sigh, I'm sure he'll think I'm flirting and it will lead to him hitting me again.

I grab the cream and the container of sugar.

"What happened to our sugar dish?" He asks me.

I turn around, trying not to look scared in front of his guest because I know he's going to be angry with me over what happened, regardless that it was an accident.

"I- I- I didn't- It broke. It was an accident."

"What?" He asks upset, but not nearly as upset as I thought he would be. "Are you okay?"

I'm startled when he approaches me, grabbing my face gently between his hands and looking me over for injuries.

"I'm fine." I swallow hard.

I glance at his guest, wanting help, and see him watching us. It's now that I recognize him as his friend from work. The same man who came before but did nothing to help me.

When I look back at him, I can see in his eyes how angry he truly is, and I don't know if it's because of the sugar dish that broke or if it's because I looked at another man. It wasn't until recently that he became out of control like this. It was bearable before, but now, it happens more and more and he's only getting worse.

"Why don't I give you two a minute," His friend says as he turns around.

 _NO!_ I'm screaming inside for this man not to leave us alone, he didn't help before but surely _he_ wont hit me with someone here. However, he leaves us, only seeing a man concerned for his wife.

"You broke the sugar dish?" His voice is low but I can hear the anger behind it now, now that we're alone.

"I didn't-" My words are cut off when he squeezes my face tighter.

"You know I don't like when you lie, and that's twice today that you've lied to me."

"It was an accident." I try to explain.

"An accident?" He asks sarcastically.

Moving one of his hands from my face, he fists it and punches me in my ribs.

"Ah." I breathe, hunched over in pain but he's still holding me up.

"An accident?" He repeats. "What you do, you do to get a rise out of me, you do it on purpose."

He hits me again, and this time I'm expecting it so I brace myself.

"Is this what you want? Do you want more?"

"No."

"And now you're going to expect me to apologize?"

"No."

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Every moment of every day you want me to apologize but you do shit like this. What, do you want me to say sorry again?"

"No, it's fine. I promise."

I flinch and close my eyes tight when he goes to hit me again. However, the pain never comes because he doesn't do it again.

With my eyes closed, I can feel him moving away from me. I hear him moving around, but I don't dare open my eyes.

When I finally open my eyes, wet from tears, I see that he's left the kitchen, taking the coffee mugs with him.

 _He's only getting worse_.

 **...**

His friend left after they drank their coffee, unfortunately he didn't stay for dinner. He was only here for a work related matter.

We're just about finished eating and I'm dreading what's to come next. He's always so rough and selfish, but when he's been drinking it's worse. I feel nauseated just thinking about it. Maybe I can make the cookies now and suggest we watch a movie before bed, then he'll be too tired.

Once we're finished, I stand and grab our plates so I can clean up the mess we just made. I've already cleaned up before we sat down to eat so now I have to wash the dishes we've just used. I would take the alcohol that he brought to the table as well as but I've learned my lesson; never take away his alcohol. Ever.

Flashes of what happened last time run through my mind.

 _"You think I'm done with that?" He asks of the alcohol once I'm in the kitchen._

 _"Of course not." I come back into the dining room and refill his glass._

 _"You have something you wanna say? Say it." He challenges me._

 _"I don't have anything to say."_

 _I flinch when he swipes his arm across the table, clearing it and sending things crashing onto the floor._

 _"I work hard, Dakota."_

 _"I know you do." I cry, trying not to._

 _"I work hard to provide for you so you don't have to work. I give you everything you could ever want or need and I can't have a drink when I come home from a long day at work?"_

 _I try to keep calm, both him and I, because I know the inevitable is going to happen. But it's useless, he abruptly stands and comes at me._

 _I plead and back away but just like every other time, my begging goes unheard. He grabs me and throws me to the floor hard. He's on top of me within seconds._

 _"I give you everything!" He shouts with his hands around my throat. I can't breath. I'm struggling to get him off of me, to get free, but he's so much stronger than me. "It must be nice to sit at home all day and do whatever the fuck you want, when you want."_

 _He goes on and on, like he always does, squeezing my neck tighter and tighter. I know I'm going to pass out soon and after that, I don't know what he'll do to me. Will he keep choking me until I'm no longer alive? Is this it? Is he going to kill me this time?_

Luckily he stopped but I had to wear scarf around my neck for a while after that.

I smile sweetly at him as I refill his glass, just to show him I don't mind him drinking. Hopefully he wont drink anymore tonight, though.

After I leave the dining room, he goes into the living room to watch sports while I clean and bake him cookies.

 **...**

I'm so exhausted and it's getting late. I just finished putting the cookies away, he stayed in the living room all night. He's still in there, fell asleep on the couch, but I don't dare wake him. It's the only peace I have from him when he's home. Instead of serving him cookies, I decided to put them away and go to bed. I can always tell him I was waiting for him to come to bed too. But I know that wont work.

Our bedroom door is missing. He said we're married, we don't need privacy. So a lot of times, I dress when he's in the other room or not home. I still want my privacy but when I voiced my opinions... well...

Taking off my clothes, I stand in front of my dresser wearing on my bra and panties; only lace, per his orders. I grab my night shirt and pants then take my bra off.

I hear footsteps in the hall so I hurry and put the shirt on. Before I can get my bottoms on, however, he's already standing in the doorway. He leans against it as he watches me move to the bed. I quickly climb in for coverage, leaving my pants on the floor. A big no-no for me, I always sleep with bottoms, as uncomfortable as it is, because it's one more layer of protection. Cotton protection.

When I look up at him, he's staring at my pajama bottoms that I left on the floor. He doesn't like clothes on the floor, at all.

 _Gosh, I'm messing up left and right today. All I want to do is survive these next three days without incident so I can just leave and be done with him_.

He's been quiet for far too long so I look up at him again.

He's just leaning against the door frame, watching me now instead of my pants.

Finally he pushes himself off and begins walking closer to the bed while he unbuckles his belt.

"I'm tired." I try in a vain attempt to stop him.

I swallow hard and prepare myself for the worse.

"You're tired?" He asks me sarcastically, like it's impossible for me to be. "Oh, I'm sorry, well if you're too tired, you should get your beauty rest."

I attempt to defuse him, but it's too late. He's lit and there's no stopping him now.

"I work all goddamned day, and you're too tired?! What the fuck do you do all day that has you so tired, watch television?! When I get home from a long day of _real, hard work_ , I expect you to do your womanly duties as my wife! MY wife! Is that so much to ask?"

"No." I cry. But not in response to his question, but because he's going to hurt me again and I don't know how bad it will be. What if he breaks my bones again and I can't run away while he's gone. It's bad enough that my ribs are still killing me, I'm sure they're bruised.

He stalks towards the bed, ripping his belt off in the process.

Tossing his belt aside, he pulls me down and climbs on top of me.

"No, Boyce." I beg him. "Please, don't."

He's so much stronger than I am. He grabs my wrists and holds them in one of his hands so I can't use my arms to push him away. I struggle to get out of his grasp but it's useless, there's no way I can over power him. I know the only way to get out of this with minimal injuries would be to just let him do whatever he wants.

He starts to grab me, roughly, pulling at my panties. Tears are falling from my eyes as I just lay here.

I think of everything this man has put me through, everything he's done to me and what he has yet to do.

I'm not waiting any longer to get away, I'm leaving, and I'm leaving now! _Fuck waiting those three day!_

Before he can do anything more, and since he's distracted, I manage to free one of my hands. I reach for the scissors I keep near the bed, he thinks they are for general use, but they are really for protection from him if he ever went too far, like he is now.

Grabbing around the handle, holding it firmly in my hand, with one quick motion I stab him in the side before he's able to get my panties all the way off.

He cries out in pain and falls off of me, onto his side of the bed.

I quickly get up and run to our closet. I found a loose floor board in our closet a few months ago, and that's where I've been hiding my get-away bag. I wasn't planning on running this soon, or with him actually home, but I can't stay here another minute longer. I wont be his little punching bag anymore.

After putting my pajama pants on in a hurry, I grab my bag and run passed him still howling in pain.

Acting fast, before he gets up and follows me, at the door I slip on my coat and boots again.

Running outside our house, I realize I have nowhere to go. I planned on getting a taxi to the bus station but I don't have time for that now, he'll get up soon and find me, bring me back and finish the job. He told me if I ran away again, he'd kill me. And I have no doubt that he'll keep that promise and get away with it. Either that or it will be a murder suicide.

The soft glow of light next door grabs my attention, calling me like a beacon.

I take off running in that direction, the distance between our homes seems to have grown since I was last here only hours earlier.

As I run, I reach up and pull hard on the chain around my neck; a necklace he gifted to me after I was released from the hospital for 'falling down the stairs'. His way of apologizing. After it's free from my neck, I toss it onto the snow covered grass and watch as it sinks to the ground below. I'm sure he'll find it once the snow melts but I've always suspected it has some sort of tracking device inside the gem attached. I can't take it with me, not that I'd want anything from him, but I could've pawned it. I planned on leaving it here before I ran, but now all my plans are going to shit.

Finally making it to their door, instead of ringing the bell like I usually do, I bang on the door. However, nobody answers because they are probably in bed sleeping.

 _Please open the door before he comes outside. Please!_

Thankfully my prayers are answered.

"Sweetheart?" She answers the door looking like she just got out of bed.

"I need help," I beg her. "Please, help me."

The sweet elderly lady grabs me, pulling me inside her warm home and shutting the door.

"Oh my goodness, dear," She freaks seeing the blood on my hands and my shirt. "What's happened? Did _he_ hurt you?"

I've always suspected they knew but I've never told them anything. They've never asked me, but I could see the concern in their eyes when I never wanted to talk about my husband. I'm sure they saw the fear in mine when he was ever mentioned so they stopped bringing him up in conversation.

I wanted to tell them, I wanted to tell them so many times, but I never wanted them to look down on me for not having a marriage like theirs. I know it sounds stupid, they would never treat me badly or make me feel that way, but I didn't want anyone to know. I'm sure they would've called the authorities if their thoughts were ever confirmed, but little do they know that would've made things worse, I've already tried that route.

I'm trying to tell her what happened, nearly hyperventilating and shaking as I try to explain, "You have to help me, I don't know what happened, I just did it. I stabbed him. It was self-defense, he hit me, he wanted to have sex and I didn't want to, I told him no. He's still alive, but he's going to come after me if I don't get away. I need help, I can't do this without help, I have to leave him. Please, help me. Please!"

She somehow understands me through my crying, breathing and hiccupping, and brings me further into her home. Leading me to their hall bathroom, she starts the shower for me.

"You need to get that blood off of you," She tells me, taking my bag from me that I've been clinging to for dear life.

"Theo!" She calls her husband in a panic as she starts to rummage through her bathroom, gathering everything I'll need; towels, shampoo, soap, scissors, etc.

I'm shaking as I watch her move around.

"Theo!" She calls to him again when he doesn't answer.

"What's going on, dear?" He finally responds, sounding as if she just woke him up.

I can hear him walking down the hallway.

He comes inside the bathroom and when he sees me standing near the shower in my bloody pajamas, and the state I'm in, his face shows he knows exactly what happened.


	11. Her Sweet Dreams

**Apov**

That night, after showering and changing into fresh clothes, grandma suggested I cut my hair so I wouldn't be easily recognized. I didn't want to, I loved my hair, but I was going to do whatever it took so I wouldn't be found. She knew I didn't want to cut or dye my hair so she brought me a blonde wig to wear. I've worn it every time I run from one town to the next, but once I'm in town, I take it off.

While I was in the shower, I guess grandpa went next door to knock some sense into Boyce, but he wouldn't answer the door. I didn't lock it so grandpa was able to go inside. I'm not sure what he did, but when he came back he said Boyce was still alive but he wouldn't be waking anytime soon. Nobody called help from him, I never expected them to and I surely wasn't going to do it.

They tired to convince me to stay, to call the police, to get a divorce and they would protect me from him, I could even live with them for however long I wanted. But I just wanted to get away from him, as far as I possibly could, so I had to go. I've called the police once in the past and they did nothing but cause me more problems, it didn't help that Boyce knows them all.

Boyce would hit me all the time. It was less frequent in the warmer months, but with it being cold outside and winter, he would get worse. I guess it was because I could easily hide the bruises with my clothing. But that night, the night I ran, he was beyond anything he's ever done before. I knew I couldn't wait three more days of that.

Grandpa drove me to the bus station and I haven't heard from them since. I've tried calling them but the one time I had the opportunity to call, because I don't have a phone, they didn't answer. I'll have to call again, I have to try again. Thankfully I left a message, so they know I'm somewhere safe, but I long to hear their voices and I miss their warm hugs. I wish I could see them again, I wish I could go back and visit them, but it's much too dangerous to ever return.

It's been four months since I've been running and I'm still frightened everyday that he's looking for me, that he's going to kill me if he ever finds me. It's why I keep moving, never really staying in one place for long, keeping to myself because I know if I make friends anywhere they wont always be there when I have to leave. I've already had to leave my saviors behind, I don't want to experience that again and again. I would be devastated.

I don't know how I saw my life being after I left, I just wanted to get away. I never really thought about how my life would turn out. Would I always be on the run from him? Would he always look for me? What if he finds another victim and I did nothing to stop him from doing this to someone else?

Being with Christian and Teddy, it's like I'm living again, like I've never lived before.

I've lost a lot of weight while running, today being the first time I've had a delicious home-cooked meal, besides what I made for Christian and Teddy in Seattle a couple weeks back. I wanted to ask for seconds, thirds, but I didn't want Christian questioning my unlady-like behavior. Nonetheless, it was delicious.

I've never told anyone anything about my experience with Boyce, not even my angels. They know, but they don't know the sordid details. Now Christian knows, he knows everything.

 **Cpov**

"What is his name?" I want to ask, but I know I shouldn't. She doesn't need to be reminded of that bastard anymore than she already is, however, apparently, I've asked this question out loud instead of in my head because she answers with his name.

"Boyce." She leaves the last name out like I did with Hannah. I'm sure saying it leaves a nasty, bitter taste in her mouth because just hearing it does.

 _Boyce? What kind of fucking name is that?! Fucking Bastard is more like it. What kind of man puts his hands on a woman without her permission?! Fucking- FUCK! My thoughts are raging with anger. I want to hit something right fucking now, Boyce's balls as a punching bag to be exact._

She hasn't told me her maiden name, I don't know his last name, how the fuck am I going to find him and rip him to shreds if I can't even run a background check and find his ass?!

I want to do everything he's ever do to her to him and more. I want to beat him to a pulp, I want him dead. The only way to find out who he is, is through her and she's not going to want to talk about it.

"And where is he?" I try to ask calmly as to not upset her. There's no point in hiding the fact that I'm going to ask these questions, but I wont press my luck with her. She's already volunteered so much information that she didn't have to relive through. But I'm glad she opened up to me and revealed her past. Now I know why she's always so closed off, keeping to herself.

"Hopefully in Detroit where I left him." She answers my question.

 _Detroit? Fucking Detroit! I can't believe this shit. Detroit of all fucking places?! Does every scum on earth come from that shit hole city?!_

"I was going to wait three more days until he left for a conference at some publishing house. He was going away on a business trip somewhere, he wouldn't tell me where, trying to get published. But that night, I just couldn't take it a second longer. It took me months to save up enough money to afford a bus ticket far enough away, that was torture enough."

I'm tempted to drive to Seattle, hop on the GEH jet, fly to Detroit, find this fucker and give him a taste of his own medicine. Visions of Ana scared and trying to run away so many times, only to be hunted down and found like some wild animal, until she finally got away. She's been gone for however long and she's still fucking scared that this piece of shit will fine her and finish the job. The haunted look as she recounted the story of how she finally got away is very unsettling, I never want to see that look again.

"Christian." Ana brings me from my thoughts before they can get out of control.

"Yeah, baby?" I call her by the pet name she admitted to like hearing from me. If I'm being honest, I like it too.

"You're scaring me."

"What?" _No._ "Why?"

"You're being very quiet and I can tell you're getting angry. I can just imagine what you must be thinking."

"No, baby, I'm not- Well, I was, but not with you." I kiss her head and hold her close in the most comforting way I possibly can.

"I didn't think you were upset with me," She corrects, "But like I said, I know what you must be thinking. I just don't want him to ever find me, I don't know what I would do if he did. It's why I keep moving around, not staying in one place for too long. It's also why I keep to myself, because if I get involved with anyone as a friend, I know it wont be long until I'll need to leave again. I've stayed here longer than any other place. Usually I only stay long enough to get enough money for another bus ticket to another city or town. I do jobs that pay in tips so I can earn cash if I have to leave unexpectedly. But I was tired of running so I thought I would finally settle down... who knows how long I'll be safe here though."

"Baby, listen to me." I tilt her chin up so she can the truth in my eyes. "You _are_ safe here. _You_ are safe with me. I will _never_ let anything happen to you."

"If only it were that easy."

"Ana, it is that easy, trust me." _Fuck, I know it's hard for her_. "Trust me to take care of everything. I promise you, if you stay, there's no safer place in the world than right here with me."

"I really want to kiss you." She blurts out.

I'm stunned into silence by what she just admitted. I never expected her to say that, it came out of nowhere.

"What?" I breathe, dumbfounded, not sure she said it or if I did, maybe I thought it and it's just my imagination running wild again.

"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. You're so sweet and kind and caring. You have a really big heart, Christian, and after knowing my past, you still want me here and are willing to protect me from the danger that still lurks in the darkness. I've never really had anyone care for me like that before in that way. You're making my head spin and I don't want it to stop. I want to kiss you. Unless, of course, you're just doing this as a friend type thing. Then I'd feel really stupid right about now."

"It's definitely not a friendly feeling, Ana, trust me." I smirk at her brain-to-mouth filter malfunction. Once she started, she just couldn't stop.

"I know we shouldn't, but I really want to."

"Why shouldn't we?"

"Because I'm married." She points out.

"No," I correct her. "Dakota is married, technically you are Anastasia Steele and Ana is not married."

"If you want to be technical, legally my name is really Dakota, not Ana, and I am married."

"Why don't you get a divorce?"

"Are you kidding?!" She says like it's the most ridiculous suggestion in the world.

"No, I'm completely serious."

"I'm not going back there to divorce him, it will be easier for him to find me. He's not going to just let me go."

"You don't have to go back there, and I told you, I wont let anything happen to you. My dad could help, he use to be a high powered attorney. We could talk to him about it. That is, if you're okay with my family knowing about everything."

"I'd rather just forget about that life." It's clear she's not comfortable exposing her secret. "I don't _need_ to get a divorce, it's not like I'm ever going to get married again."

"You wont kiss me because you're married." I remind her with a pout. "Do you plan on living the rest of your life not kissing me?"

 _Not to mention sex. If she doesn't want to kiss me because she's married, I know damn well she wouldn't want to have sex because of it_.

"I like you, Christian, I don't want to fight it anymore."

"Then kiss me." I all but beg.

She's hesitant at first, only looking at my mouth. I stay still, not wanting to startle her if I move and wanting her to lead the way. I almost don't think she's going to go through with it, but then she slowly leans forward, closing her eyes and places her lips gently on mine in a soft, sweet, chaste kiss.

I happily kiss her back, letting her set the slow pace. It's perfect, but I want more.

Staying in my position on the couch next to her, when she pulls away, I thrust my hand into her hair and hold her in place as my lips latch onto hers. I softly kiss each corner of her mouth, run my tongue along her lower lip before I playfully nip and tug at it for her to open her mouth for me. My tongue gently glides in, her mouth opening freely now, wanting more. When our tongue touch, it's like fireworks shoot off.

She moans as she willingly surrenders her tongue to mine.

Slowly, she wraps her arms around my neck. I continue to hold her jaw firmly in my hand and lead the kiss. She is at my mercy now, but in a good way.

Reluctantly I pull away, needing to catch the breath that she took away, her lips following mine until she can no longer reach me. I'm tempted to continue, still high from the kiss, but I know what will happen next if we continue. Kissing her felt so... right, so perfect.

"Please..." She whispers, only a few inches away from my mouth, her fingers clawing at the base of my neck, almost itching for more. "Don't stop."

With that being said, I kiss her again, granting her wish.

This kiss is so alive, so passionate, so raw, so... carnal. Nothing like the sweet sensual first kiss. Her lips mold to mine as if they were made for my lips to ravish. Our bodies seem to move closer on their own. My body is reacting and if I don't stop this kiss soon, I'm going to take her on my couch in a matter of seconds.

We shift and move to a more comfortable position until she ends up on top of me, straddling my lap. My dick is already painfully hard, begging desperately for relief. I haven't had sex since I got Teddy four and a half years ago, and not because I couldn't, but because I didn't want that life for him. Seeing his father with an endless stream of women coming in and out of his life. So it's been me and my right hand all these years.

I groan against her lips as her sex bumps against my cock. I move my hands from her hair and grab her hips to stop her from moving her body. But that doesn't help the moment I feel her dress bunched up around her waist to accommodate her position on my lap. My hands begin roaming around to her panty covered backside and grasping her ass. Regardless of how hard I tried not to moments earlier, I buck my hips up as I pull her closer. We both moan at the feeling but she pulls away.

We're both panting, our heads resting on each other's forehead. Our lips are so close, I'm breathing her air.

"If I don't stop now, I wont be able to." I warn her.

My dick throbs for her, waiting and hoping she says it's okay to continue. Pre-cum is already leaking out of me for fuck's sake.

Letting my partner take the lead, is a rarity for me and is definitely not something I'm use to, but for her I'm willing to give her what she needs. And I know she needs to feel in control here.

"I should probably go now anyway."

"Go?" _What the fuck for? Why would she go?! Wait. Where is she going?_

"Our little not-a-date is over and it's getting late." She explains. "I should go home."

 _Damn. So no to the sex on the couch thing?_

"I was hoping you'd stay."

"Stay?" She questions. "As in, the night?"

"Yes, as in the night," I chuckle at how cute she is. What else did she think I meant? "I was hoping you'd stay the night with me."

"Um." She bites her lip. I _really_ want to bite that lip again, but I hold back. "I don't- I don't know."

"Why not?"

"It's our first date." She says like that explains it. "Wouldn't that be kind of, I don't know, against the rules of dating to stay the night on the first date?"

"So." Granted I've not dated before, but what does that have to do with anything? "We're adults, and as long as we both agree and everything is consensual, who cares how fast we move?"

"I just think sex would complicate things for me."

 _What the fuck?! No sex? Like at all_. She doesn't want to have sex because why- she's technically married? Well I don't know who the fuck Dakota is, but I do know Ana and I know I want her. Especially since she's still straddling my lap with her dress still bunched up around her hips and my hands still on her ass. I was so close to destroying the lace barrier between us, unzipping my pants and having my way with her on this sofa. And now she's telling me no sex.

Wait. She said sex would complicate things for her. Does she mean she wouldn't want to leave if we start a relationship? Is that what is complicated? Me.

"Is this because you're married? Or is it something else?" I decide the only way I'll get an answer is to ask.

"Mainly something else."

Okay so it's not because she's married. Then, "What is it?"

"If we... Then I..." She pauses before turning the question onto me. "Do really want to have sex with a legally married woman?"

"Yes." I answer honestly without hesitation.

I very much want to have sex with her, regardless of her marital status. Does she not feel the rock hard steel rod between my legs that suggests the same? And then I realize, she's a traumatized woman on the run from her abusive husband. It must take a lot for her to be alone with a man, to trust a man again, and here I am wanting to take advantage of the situation.

"But when you're ready." I add, putting her hair behind her ear and caressing her face with my hand.

"Christian, I- I'm just not sure... And I don't want to keep you waiting if I never am. Besides, I may end up leaving and it's already going to be hard enough as it is. If we get involved, it will only be harder on me when I do have to leave."

"Then don't. Don't leave, Ana. Stay."

She shakes her head, not wanting to talk about this anymore and stifling a yawn.

"We'll talk about this later, but I would like it very much if you stayed with me tonight." _Not only tonight, every night_. I don't want her to leave town at all, but the thought of her going back to that shack sends a shiver down my spine. "We'll just sleep. Maybe cuddle, possibly make-out."

"Make-out and cuddle, huh?" She smiles.

"I just want to hold you tonight." I peck her lips. "We'll see where it goes in the future."

"Okay," She nods. "I can agree to that."

I give her another sweet kiss and help her off my lap, getting a glimpse of her panties in the process.

"I don't have anything to wear." She warns me.

"You can borrow one of my shirts again," I say as I take her hand and lead her through the house to my bedroom.

Once in my room, I grab her a T-shirt to wear, and point out which door leads to my ensuite. She goes inside to change while I quickly change into my pajamas. I don't want to freak her out too much if I wore my underwear to bed. It's what I always wear, but to comfort her, I'll wear pajamas tonight.

The bathroom door opens and she steps out wearing my T-shirt, her hair now flowing down her back and around her shoulder. The shirt just covers her ass and I can tell she's no longer wearing her bra. She looks good in my T-shirt, the way she wears it, it looks like she's an extra for a Guns & Roses video. I almost expect her to dance around my room. Except the visions I now have of her dancing around, now involve her taking that T-shirt off.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I pull the sheets back for us. _Yeah, because visions of her in my bed are much better than visions of her giving me a strip tease_.

We climb into my bed together and I turn out the light. I want to grab her and kiss those beautiful lips again but I know she's tired and if I started kissing her, I don't think I would be able to stop. It's frustrating because I'm use to women doing what I want, when I want, but I know I need to be gentle with her considering her past. She seems to be doing okay, because I never would've imagined getting her in my bed this soon. Hell, I don't think she would've got in my bed at all after hearing about her past. But she seems comfortable with me and that make me happy.

She yawns as turns over on her side. Her back is facing me now so I wrap my arm around her and pull her soft, warm body closer to me.

"Sleep, baby." I kiss the back of her head. "We'll make out tomorrow."

She giggles at my joke and then settles back against me.

"Christian." She calls to me in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"I just want you to know, I had a great time today, with you and Teddy at the beach earlier and the dinner too, even though what you admitted to me about your past did scare me. Being with you... it's like the first time I've actually looked up and I never want to look down again. I like being with you two."

"I had a great time too, baby." I kiss her head again and hold her closer.

"Also, I- I've been having nightmares... you know, since I left." She warns me. "I just wanted to... to let you know that... I might have one tonight."

"I understand about having nightmares more than you know." _I had them myself for most of my life, but I don't anymore_. "If you have a nightmare, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe here, Ana. I promise. Just focus on the future, dream of that, not the past."

"You can't control your dreams," She giggles.

"Sure you can." I give her one last chaste kiss of the night. "Sweet Dreams, baby."

 **...**

 **Apov**

I don't believe him one bit, he's going to wake up early because of my nightmares but at least I warned him. It's hard to fall asleep being in a new bed, and with a warm body next to me, I'm not use to this. I've slept alone for the past 4 months, and every new place was harder and harder, I can't sleep and I don't sleep much. But I've gotten use to it. However, I do need rest, I'm exhausted.

Christian falls asleep a lot sooner than I do. With his arms wrapped around me, there's an unfamiliar feeling flowing through me. Being wrapped in his arms, I feel safe. But there's also something else, some other feeling I've never felt before. I don't know how to explain it, but it's comforting. I never thought I would ever feel this way with a man.

I snuggle closer to him, holding onto his strong, muscular arm as I do. His nose brushes against my hair, inhales deeply and then he presses his lips to my head.

I'm so at peace, so content, feeling so safe and comfortable, that I don't even realize as my eye lids begin to droop and I'm drifting to sleep.

 _A child's giggle wakes me from my nap. My eyes are still closed but it feels like I'm outside; I can feel a breeze blowing against me, a bright light just behind my eyelids that I'm assuming is the sun, and I can hear the sounds of birds and waves. I'm near water. I'm outside and near water and there's a child nearby? Where am I?_

 _I finally blink open my eyes and see that I am outside, laying on my back on top of a blanket in a grassy area filled with wildflowers. A meadow?_

 _I hear the child laughing again so I start to sit up._

 _Leaning on my elbows, I look around and over the tall grass and see a man with a child in the distance. They are playing; the man is tossing the child into the air and catching him as they walk closer to me. My heart races every time the child is in the air and relief overwhelms me once he's safely in his father's arms._

 _Before they reach me, I look around again, trying to see if I can make out where I am. But I know I've never been here before._

"Where is mommy, buddy?" _I hear the man ask the child_.

 _That sounded like Christian! Wait, they're looking for the child's mother, Teddy's mother obviously since Christian is asking. But wait, Christian told me she passed away so why would he say that?_

"Mommy?!" _The boy calls, dragging out the name._

 _What is going on?_

 _I peek over the tall grass again and see they are closer to me, I can even make out their faces now as they look around for the boy's 'mommy'. It's definitely Christian but something looks different about him, and Teddy too for that matter._

"There she is!" _The boy, I now believe is Teddy, points in my direction._

"Where?" _Christian asks him, looking for Teddy's mother._

"There! There!" _Teddy_ points out excitedly _._

 _I look behind me, all around, but I don't see anyone._

"Mommy!" _Teddy_ squeals, nearly tackling me back down to the blanket.

"Careful with mommy, _buddy." Christian tells him as he joins us._

 _"Mommy?" I ask Christian, not that I mind._

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Grey?" He sits beside me and kisses my lips.

 _"Mrs. Grey?!" I think that shocks me more than Teddy calling me mommy._

 _Ignoring my questions, Christian reaches around Teddy, who is still sitting in my lap, and places his hand on my stomach. When I look down I see it's swollen, like I have a basketball under my sundress. I want to check what's underneath, but then something pushes me from the inside. It's a weird feeling, but not painful. Strange. But a good strange._

 _"She's_ kicking." Christian announces.

 _"I'm pregnant?"_ We've never even had sex! I haven't had sex in months, how could I be pregnant, and this far along I might add. I look like I'm ready to give birth!

"Are you happy, baby?"

 _"Yes." I answer truthfully as I wrap my arms around Teddy and hold him close. I never want to let him go and_ _I've never been happier. It's why I haven't left town yet._

 _But wait. We're not in town._

 _I look around again, now that I'm sitting up completely. We're sitting in a large open meadow with wildflowers growing everywhere, nothing around for miles but a huge house, a house I've never seen before, with water behind it. We're surrounded by land, trees and water, I don't see any other houses near us. It's a breathtaking view._

 _"But what is going on?" I ask. "_ _Where are we?"_

 _"We're home." He kisses me hard, but gently. "I told you that you were safe with me."_

Suddenly, I wake up. I'm in bed, a soft bed, much softer than my own. Heavy breathing behind me reminds me that I'm not alone.

It was a dream. It wasn't a nightmare, it was just a dream.

Thankfully it was a dream, but I expected to wake up to a nightmare. I almost expected to wake up back in my bed in Detroit, with _him._ That this was all a dream, that I never escaped, that I never met Christian and Teddy. But no, it all really happened, I really escaped. And I'm still wrapped safely in Christian's arms.

It's still dark outside but dawn is approaching. The curtains are closed so I can't even estimate the time.

Looking at the clock, tells me it's almost 6 o'clock in the morning. It's later than I usually wake, and when we were in Seattle, I woke up around the same time. It has to be something to do with sleeping with these Grey guys; Teddy and Christian. Whatever it is, it's getting me plenty of rest and I'm loving it.

Usually, I'm not able to go back to sleep once I wake from my nightmares. Though this wasn't a nightmare. Regardless, once I'm awake, it's difficult for me to go back to sleep.

I turn over so I'm facing Christian and just look at him. He seems so relaxed, like nothing in the world worries him, like he's not afraid of anything.

Before we went to sleep, he told me I was safe with him. And yes, I do feel safe with him. I've never felt like this before. _How did I get so lucky to find this man?_ I can't believe that this beautiful, kind-hearted man wants me, wants to protect me, wants to care for me, wants to be with me. I don't want to fight it anymore, I want him to. If he really wants me, and I want him, there's no point in fighting our feelings any longer.

I really want to kiss him again. The kiss we shared earlier was amazing, I've never been kissed like that before.

I would kiss him now, but he's sleeping and I don't want to wake him. Instead, I settle for watching him sleep, waiting for him to wake.


	12. His Beautiful Nightmare

**Cpov**

I wake before Ana, just watching her sleep. She's so relaxed in her sleep, and her guard is completely down, more so than she ever is when she's awake. She warned me of her nightmares, which I already suspected she had them when we went to Seattle, but she didn't have one last night. Not that I know of anyway. I hope she didn't have a nightmare, only to wake alone in the middle of the night while I lay peacefully unaware beside her.

It's getting pretty late, almost 9 o'clock, but I just let her sleep. I remember what it was like to wake up every night, drenched in sweat, heart racing and scared out of my fucking mind. I highly doubt she's had a good, uninterrupted sleep since she ran away. I don't even know how long she's been on the run. Has it been weeks, months, years? Fuck, I hope it hasn't been years and she's still this terrified that he's looking for her.

She moves in her sleep, unintentionally pushing her ass against me.

I woke with a raging hard on, but it's gone down since... however, if she keeps rubbing against me like that, I'm going to be hard again within a matter of seconds. I want to respect her wishes, regarding sex, but her not wanting to complicate things is utter bullshit. She thinks if we start a relationship, it will be harder on everyone when she leaves, but what she doesn't realize is if she leaves now, it will be just as hard. Besides, I'm not letting her slip away when I just found her.

If her asshole of a husband somehow finds her, there's no way in hell I will let him lay a finger on her. I'd kill him first. I'm not naïve enough to believe I'm somehow above the law, but there are ways around it. So maybe I'll just beat him to a pulp, until he's paralyzed and unable to move, perhaps even living on a life-supporting machine, and since Ana is legally his wife, she can pull the plug. Problem solved.

Ana sighs contently in her sleep and begins to stir. She blinks open her beautiful blue eyes and for an instant I see her fear return just before her eyes land on me.

"Good morning, beautiful." I lean down to kiss her but she quickly turns her head and gives me her cheek.

"Morning breath." She complains the reason we can't kiss.

I laugh and get out of bed, pulling a tired Ana with me.

Leading her into my bathroom, grab my toothbrush for her use, and hand it over to her.

"I already brushed mine earlier." I didn't want to get out of bed, but I had to use the bathroom. It's the fastest I've ever peed and brushed my teeth, wanting to hurry back to her before she woke up. "We'll go to the store today and get you a few things to keep here for when you stay the night."

I know it's too soon for her to move in, but I can't deny the fact that I want her here. Not only because I don't want her alone in the woods, living in that tiny shack she calls shelter, but also because Teddy and I both enjoy her company. I never thought I would have this life, and now that I have it, I can't see myself living any other way.

"What makes you think I'll stay again?" She jokes as she beings to brush her teeth.

"Trust me," I smirk. "I know."

She finishes brushing her teeth so she rinses my toothbrush and puts it back, then she turns and looks expectantly at me.

"What?" I ask, not knowing what she needs or why she's giving me that look.

"Get out." She giggles.

"What?" I laugh with her, surprised with what she said.

"I have to pee," She explains her need for privacy. "Like, really, really bad."

I laugh at the little dance she does and leave the bathroom.

We didn't really get to make-out much last night after sharing our pasts because it got late and she was tired, so I plan to have a lay-in with her this morning and make-out until she stops me.

We'll have to go to the store some time today and I have a project up my sleeve for later.

I know who owns the place she's renting so I send him an email asking permission first, not that he would mind. Maybe I should ask Mia or Kate to bring Ana some clothes so I don't have to take her home to change before we start our day. Nah, I don't want those two to come over and be in my business when I don't even know what Ana and I are yet.

The bathroom door opens and Ana walks out.

I set my phone down and hold my hands out for her to join me. She smiles and runs across the room on her tiptoes, grabs my hands and gets on the bed with me.

"Do you work today?" I ask so I know how much time we have.

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm off until tomorrow."

"Good," _Because I plan to devour you all day_.

I start kissing her and she responds immediately, instantly sweeping her tongue against mine.

Moaning, I bring her down onto the bed so we're laying again. I'm halfway on top of her, my erection is practically digging into her hip. I want more but I promised only to make-out, letting her set the pace until she's ready. But perhaps we can heat this make-out session up. I've never made out with a girl before, but I know there are levels of intensity. Elliot said something about baseball; first, second, and third base. Home run being sex. Who knew baseball could be sexually educational.

I pull away from her, looking down at her as she lays beneath me. She's so fucking beautiful, I just have to touch her. I caress her face, running my thumb along her full bottom lip, slightly swollen from mine. If she looks this good from me kissing her, imagine how she would look, high from an orgasm that I've given her.

"I want to make you cum." I admit, my voice husky.

Her eyes widen and blush adorns her cheeks before her mouth pops open.

"I- I-" She stutters, only stopping to nod her approval.

"Let me know if you want me to stop. Just tell me to stop and I will, okay?" I highly doubt she'll ask me to stop but I want her to know she's in control here.

Once I get her going, she'll be begging for more.

Since I know she doesn't want to have sex yet, I'll make her cum with my fingers. I'd love to taste her, but I want to see what she looks like when she cums so I'll stick with my fingers for now.

I kiss her again, not only to relax her because she suddenly tensed up when I mentioned making her cum, but also because I enjoy it. My hand gently fondles and caresses every inch of her.

Moving to kiss her neck, I slide my hand under her shirt, rubbing her flat stomach then make my way down to her panties. I stop just at the hem and play with it. She's panting so hard in anticipation, I know she wont tell me to stop. But I still expect her to.

"Do you want me to stop?" I whisper against her neck.

"No." She pants, spreading her legs a bit more for me. "Don't. Don't stop."

Since she obviously wants me to continue, I pull back the hem of her panties and dive my hand inside until I'm cupping her sex.

"Fuck." I breathe when I feel how wet she is.

Without waiting any longer, I begin to move my fingers in and around her sex, getting it nice and wet with her natural juices before I move to her clit. She's so wet that my fingers slide easily inside of her. Her body tenses up at my touch but then relaxes moments later.

"Christian!" She screams my name when I press down hard, moving my hand in a circular motion.

She was fisting the sheets, but now she thrusts her hands into my hair, her finger nails lightly scratching my scalp as she fists my hair.

Using my palm on her clit, I being to rub her harder and faster, continuing to kiss her as I move my fingers in a come-hither motion.

My dick is so fucking hard, I can feel the pre-cum leaking out of me. I work faster when I know she's close and soon she detonates around my hand, her walls squeezing me.

"Oh-oh-oh, my god! Christian!"

I pull my head away from her neck to look at her, watching her cum, literally, undone by my hand. She's so fucking beautiful.

My dick twitches as I watch her and I can't help but to kiss and nibble on her jaw as my hand continues to move, my fingers still pumping, letting her ride it out until she comes down from her high.

"Wow." She breathes once she's finished.

"I want you so fucking bad right now." I admit to her.

I've wanted her for some time now, but especially now when she's a withering mess in my bed.

"Yes. Please. More." She begs, barely able to get the words out.

Without a second thought, I kneel up and grab hold of her panties near her hips, thanking all things possible that I had the foresight to buy condoms, having every intention of having sex with this beautiful mysterious creature one day. _And that day just so happens to be today_. I begin to pull her panties down, however, the doorbell stops me.

"FUCK!"

 **Apov**

I'm still panting and weak from that orgasm Christian so kindly gave to me, when his doorbell rings and interrupts our moment.

"FUCK!" He shouts upset, and rightfully so.

That was the first orgasm I've ever! I've tried many times getting myself off, but nothing I did worked. And Boyce, well he was always selfish when it came to sex.

Not wanting to think of _him_ while I'm with Christian, I shake him from my thoughts. Permanently. I will no longer think of him and my past, I wont give him that power over me and my thoughts.

I've decided that Christian is right; I'm Ana now, I am no longer Dakota, and Ana is _not_ married. Though I know I can never legally get married again, and I don't plan to, but- Am I really going to live my whole life not kissing or having sex again because I don't want to break a marriage vow or that I'll have to leave wherever I am because he found my location? I left him, I'm never going back, and he broke his vows long ago when he laid his hands on me. And I really like Christian. Like _really_ like him. And I just adore little Teddy.

I know that once we become further involved, if I ever have to leave for any reason, it would crush me. But I don't want to fight this feeling anymore. So I've decided, instead of being scared, I'm going to put myself out there. I never thought I would be able to trust another man again, but Christian is different. There's something about him that draws me to him.

"It's probably my mother dropping off Teddy." Christian says of who is possibly at his door, climbing off of me and bringing me from my thoughts.

 _His mother?! Surely it's not right for his mother to see us in bed together so soon. I've just met the woman yesterday for crying out loud._

"Should I go?" I ask, sitting up.

"No." He looks like it's the most ridiculous thing ever. "She's just dropping off Teddy, she wont stay."

 _Oh god, that's worse!_ If Teddy assumes his father and I are together, together, before Christian and I have talked about things, what is he going to think?

I'm about to ask Christian what our relationship is now; are we friends, more than friends... I wouldn't want it to be a sexual relationship if Teddy is going know about us. He'll be upset, I'm sure, if he ever found out that we weren't- um, in a real relationship. Granted he is only four and doesn't understand, but I don't think it would be a good idea.

I'm about to say something, explain this to Christian, but the doorbell ringing again interrupts me.

"I'll be right back." He starts to walk away but stops at the door. Looking over his shoulder at me, he says, "We'll continue this later."

And with that, he leaves me with his threat. Or is it a promise?

I should probably get out of bed, but the only thing I have to change into is that dress I borrowed from Kate.

"Christian," I say before he gets to far away. "I don't have any pants."

"Just grab a pair of mine," He calls from the hallway. "they're in the dresser."

My body no longer feels like lead, I feel sated, yet wanting more. I'm about to get up and search for a pair of his sweats but voices stop me.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asks whoever it is. It's obviously not his mother like he assumed.

I sit in his bed, surrounded and still snuggled in the blankets while I listen.

"Who were you talking to?" Someone questions him, not answering his.

It sounds like Mia. I haven't really spoken much to her since I got the job, but from what I've observed, my boss is a sweet girl.

"I'm talking to you, what are you doing here?"

I let out a small giggle at Christian.

"We wanted to know how the date went." I hear Kate now.

"It went as to be expected," Christian brushes them off. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have company."

"She's still here?!" I'm not sure who said that, it could've been both of them.

I hear squealing now and then they start asking him rapid-fire questions. They're both talking over each other, fast and high pitched with excitement that I can't make out what they are asking.

"Goodbye, Mia. Goodbye, Kate."

I hear the door close.

"Daddy," I hear Teddy now. The girls must've dropped him off instead of Christian's mother. "is Ana really here?"

"Yeah, buddy, she's in my room."

Little feet can be heard running down the hall, followed by Christian's voice saying to slow down.

The bedroom door bursts open and Teddy's infectious smile shines through.

"Ana!"

"Teddy!" I smile back at him.

He comes running over to me, where I'm still sitting on the bed, and climbs up next to me.

"Did you have a sleepover?" Teddy asks me, kneeling next to me.

"Um." _What do I say?_ It's obvious that I did, I'm still in bed and it looks like I just woke up... I can't lie to him, but Christian and I haven't talked yet. "Yes?"

"Did you see my room?" He doesn't seemed bothered by my staying the night.

"No."

"You gotta see it!" He says so excitedly as he pulls on my hand.

As we make our way off the bed and to the door, Teddy leading me, I ignore the uncomfortable wetness in my panties.

When I look up, Christian is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, looking every bit of the Greek-god Adonis and enjoying the show.

He smiles and moves out of the way for us to walk through.

I shake my head at him, unable to stop smiling, and let Teddy take me to his room.

It, of course, is every little boy's dream bedroom. And he points out everything, explaining some things and showing me all his cool stuff.

"Will you stay the night again?" Teddy asks me.

"Um. Maybe?"

"You can sleep in my room dis time, it's cooler than my dad's."

"No, Teddy," Christian finally steps in. "Ana is going to sleep with me if she stays again."

"But you had her last night." Teddy whines.

My hand flies to my mouth at how that sounded. _From the mouths of babes_.

Christian looks at me, smiling and clearly understanding why I'm reacting the way I am.

"And I intend on having her as many nights as I want." He says to his son, keeping his eyes on me.

Teddy pouts and does not look very happy that his father is not sharing... me. I want to laugh so badly at their exchange.

"Listen, son." Christian begins. "Boyfriends and girlfriends sleep together-"

"Uh." I interrupt Christian. "You probably shouldn't tell him that."

"Why not?" He looks a little upset. Maybe it's because I'm overstepping him as a parent but,

"Well, he might have a girlfriend at like, 16 or 15, possibly even 14, maybe younger, and you wouldn't want them to sleep together. Right?"

"Yeah, you're right." He runs his finger through his hair, making it stand on end. "I just thought you didn't want me to tell him that we were- you know what, nevermind."

"That we were, what?!" I squeak.

My eyes widen in wonder at what he would tell his four year old son we were doing in his bed besides sleeping. And then it hits me, I wasn't paying much attention to his words but he said, boyfriends and girlfriends sleep together. Does he see us as... as a couple? I mean, after everything I told him last night, I half expected him to turn me away since I'm legally married and my abusive husband is looking for me. I know we still have a lot to talk about in private but, being Christian's girlfriend... I like it.

"-and then we'll come home and watch a movie before bed, okay." Christian finishes telling Teddy what they're doing today while I continued to space out.

I missed most of what he said but I don't ask him to repeat it. I'm spending the night again, I could care less what we do during the day as long as we're together.

"Ana, you can sit by me when we watch da move." Teddy insists.

"No way, she's sitting by me."

Watching Christian being playful with his son is such a sight to see.

"I will fight you for it." Teddy challenges his father. "Uncle Lettiot is teachin' me."

"You're on."

I cringe when Christian ruffles Teddy's hair.

"Don't worry," Christian laughs at the face I made. "I washed my hands before I answered the door."

"Oh." I say relieved. "Good."

"Yes," He smirks, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "It was very good."

"You didn't even-" I shake my head, not wanting to continue or have this conversation with Teddy in the room.

"But I enjoyed it; taking care of you."

Since Christian and I have yet to eat, we all walk out of Teddy's room together with Christian leading us to the kitchen.

"I may not be a master chef, but I've picked up a few simple skills after having Teddy." Christian explains as he gathers the things he'll need. "I'll make us some eggs and bacon, then we'll go to the store."

"I can't go to the store in your shirt." I tell him as I sit down beside Teddy on the barstool that surrounds the breakfast bar in his beautiful state-of-the-art kitchen, much like at his apartment in Seattle. I get the sense he likes being rich but not showing it off except where it matters. Like on the things he's passionate or cares about.

"We'll go by your place so you can change first," He starts our breakfast. And it's nice to be catered to for once. "We'll stop at the pharmacy to pick up a few toiletries, then to the hardware store. I have a project planned for today. And then after that we can come home and watch a movie while we relax."

He's cooking as he talks, and it's obvious he's not very good in the kitchen. His beginner skills showing through, but it's enough to get him by and it's adorable to watch. Not to mention, incredibly sexy. Thankfully I haven't spaced out this time watching him. Though it's easy to get lost just looking at him, any part of him, his body, his forearms, his eyes. Everything about this man is incredibly sexy... Which begs the question; what is he doing with a girl like me? Not that I'm not attractive, I know how guys look at me and how they talk to me, but I have so much baggage.

"What makes you think I'll stay again?" I tease him as he sets our plates down as well as a small bowl of eggs and bacon bites for Teddy.

"I made you a promise I intend to keep." He says with a hint of lust in his tone.

"With Teddy here?" I whisper in horror.

"Yes, with Teddy here." He laughs.

"We can't do anything like _that_ with Teddy here." I keep my voice low but my tone is high.

"Parents do it all the time while their children are home, Ana." Christian brushes it off as he sits next to me. "Otherwise we'd all come from only child families, or whatever."

"I guess you're right."

"I am." He begins to eat, biting off a piece of bacon. "So when he goes to bed tonight, you're all mine."

I swallow hard at the thought. Am I ready for this? Not only sex, but a relationship it so obviously seems Christian wants. And not just any relationship, he has a son too. I know I shouldn't start anything with them when I don't know if I will have to leave, but I find it comforting to have people to talk to. I'm no longer lonely and I feel safe. I'm beginning to feel homesick for a place that I'm not sure even really exists. And being here, it makes me feel at home.

Christian nods to my plate that I've yet to touch, signaling me to eat. So I do.

 **...**

It was a busy day for us today.

I borrowed a pair of Christian's sweats and his shirt, while he took me home to change. I say borrow, but he's not getting his clothes back, I plan to keep them. After I got dressed, and packed my bag for another night at Christian's, we stopped at a couple stores and picked up a few things I would need if I stayed the night again so I wont have to keep packing a bag. Christian paid for everything, of course, he wouldn't have it any other way. And I do mean everything; including all feminine hygiene products and clothing.

Then we went to the hardware store where Christian bought a bunch of lumber and other items he needed for his project. Before we did anything else, we stopped at the restaurant and had lunch.

To my surprise, after lunch, Christian drove back to my place and those items were delivered there. His project; repairing my worn porch that he was afraid would eat him alive. Apparently he already got approval from my landlord who was all too happy with the repairs. And it's not like I have any say, I'm just renting the place. Though it does make me feel good that he wants me safe.

Teddy was the cutest. Christian let him help, supervised of course, and he even bought Teddy his very own little toolbox complete with his first set of real tools. While my men were working hard on replacing the porch, I made them some lemonade. I tried to offer my help, but Teddy insisted it's what gentlemen do for their ladies. Of course, Christian laughed and went along with it.

When we finally made it back to Christian's house, it was getting late so we all changed into pajamas. I wore another one of Christian's T-shirts instead of my own. We all made dinner together and instead of eating at the table, we all sat around in their family room to watch the movie Teddy picked out. Labyrinth. Apparently he thinks the goblins are cute and the Goblin King is awesome! To say it was fun is an understatement, I enjoy spending time with Christian and Teddy.

We're nearing the end of the movie and Teddy is already sleeping with his head on my lap. I've been rubbing his hair since he laid on me, and about five minutes later I looked down to see he fell asleep. Christian noticed and wrapped his arm around me, kissing my head and holding me close. So now we're all snuggled together, with me in the middle.

I was 'forced' to sit in the middle between the two of them because they both wanted me to sit near them. Of course, I wasn't actually 'forced', I wanted to, but it was still cute to see them 'fighting' over me. They even wrestled around a bit on the floor until I agreed to sit by them both.

When the end credits finally roll, Christian gently moves his arm from around my shoulder and stands. He easily lifts Teddy into his arms, telling me to meet him in his room while he puts Teddy to bed.

Instead of going right to Christian's room, I clean up the mess we made. I know I'm overthinking about this orgasm thing, but I can't help it. I've never had one before, my first being the one he gave me earlier... with his fingers. But what if penetrative sex is different and I wont be able to... Should I tell him, or should I just fake it? Surely if I tell him, he'll just try harder and what if I don't have an orgasm even with him trying so hard... I don't want to upset him so I decide I'll just fake it. I've gotten pretty good at it and I wouldn't want to disappoint him.

I feel the heat on my cheeks as I finally make my way to Christian's room. Just the thought of going further than we did this morning is getting me wet already.

Once in his room, I take a deep breath to clam my nerves.

When I hear him approaching, I take off running for his bed and quickly cover myself with the blankets.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm more than a little nervous about Christian's plans for tonight. Are we just going to fool around, make-out, is he going to do that magic with his fingers again, will we experiment with oral... I know we went a little too far earlier, and he sort of made me a promise for more... but I'm worried we're going too fast.

We still haven't discussed anything because of Teddy being around, and I know us having a relationship will complicate things if I'm ever found and need to leave, but I want to be with Christian, I don't want to leave. And I know he's eventually, if not tonight, going to want to have sex. My emotions are already playing a role in things, it's the reason I've stayed here so long... sex is taking things to a whole new level. I never expected myself to ever be in another romantic relationship again, but here I am.

Christian walks in, closing and locking the bedroom door behind him.

"What if Teddy needs you?"

"He wont. He sleeps through the night." Christian says casually, shedding his clothing as he makes his way to me. "He'll come in my room in the morning though."

I nod, unable to speak as I watch him take his clothes off. I've always suspected he had a great body under his clothes, and the beach was the first time I've seen his torso exposed, but now he's standing before me wearing only his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. _He looks like a freaking model!_ A cover model for GQ with an inside spread, to be exact.

"I'll be sure to unlock the door when we're finished." He says when he joins me on the bed so we're both laying down side by side.

"Okay," My voice shakes a bit and I don't know why.

"Hey." He tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him. "We'll only do what you are comfortable with, okay? You are in control here. Whatever you want, however far you want to go."

I nod my head, but I don't know what I want.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me."

"I- I don't know."

"Would you like me to make you cum again?"

"Yes." I answer without hesitation.

"Okay," He laughs. "How?"

"Christian," I shake my head. "I don't- I don't-"

"Come on, baby, tell me. Whatever you want."

"I want you, Christian." I answer honestly. "I want to be with you, but we're moving so fast. What if-"

"Stop." He interrupts me. "Don't worry yourself with what ifs. I want you too, baby, and if you let me, I would gladly show you how much."

"Crap!"

"What?" He questions my sudden outburst. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not on birth-control anymore. I use to sneak my pills but I didn't take them with when I left and I can't really afford health care a-"

"Relax, baby." He laughs. "I have condoms for when we have sex."

Condoms never felt like such a naughty word until just now.

"Is that your way of saying you're ready for sex?" He asks me.

"I- I- Yeah, I guess."

"Okay," He gives me a sweet, gentle chaste kiss. "Remember, if this is not what you want, if you're not ready, you can stop me at any time. Just tell me to stop and I will."

"I think I'm ready."

He gives me one more kiss before he moves to kneel between my thighs.

I watch as he trails his hands up my thighs. I expect him to take my panties off but he bypasses them, instead he moves the shirt I'm wearing up until he hits the bottom of my breasts, so my full stomach is showing but my breasts are still covered. He's letting me be very modest, it's unexpected but much appreciated.

My body tenses up when he leans down and places soft, openmouthed kisses on my abdomen.

"Relax, baby." He whispers against my stomach as he makes his way down.

I try to relax, but my mind is going a million miles a second and my body is not responding the way it should... it never does.

My breathing increases as he gets closer to my sex. I feel as if I'm going to have a panic attack.

Christian somehow senses my body's reaction and stops what he's doing. He quickly crawls up my body so his head is even with mine, but that just makes it worse.

"No!" I shout, quickly turning my head away from him.

He quickly gets off of me so he's laying right next to me. How he knew I was freaking out and not turned on is beyond me, but I'm glad he stopped.

"I'm sorry, Christian, I'm so sorry," Tears are now streaming down my face as I turn away from him. I never expected that reaction. I was fine earlier today when he did what he did, why am I reacting this way now. My fear was that I wouldn't have an orgasm, not that I would freak out and completely panic, ruining our night all together.

"Hey," He tries to turn me around, but I refuse to face him. "Baby, look at me. Please."

"No."

"Ana." He coaxes.

Reluctantly, I turn around so I'm facing him.

"I told you," He wipes my tears with the pad of his thumb. "You are in control here. Whatever you want is what will happen. If you want me to stop, I'll stop. If you only want to kiss and make out, that's what we'll do. If you want to sleep, we can cuddle and go to sleep. Whatever you want, baby, I mean that."

I'm melting at his words, literally swooning. He's seriously the sweetest man ever.

"I'm sorry, Christian, I don't know what happened, I didn't mean to react that way. Can we try again?"

"Baby, if you just want to lay and cuddle until we fall asleep, we can do just that." He assures me. "We can have sex another day."

"No," I wipe my tears. "Please. I'd like to try again."

"Baby-"

"I want to, Christian," I interrupt him from saying anything. "I want you. I do."

"Okay." He relents. "Just remember, you are in control here, baby, not me."

I nod my head and sit up so I can take my shirt off. It's cool in his room with the air running and as soon as my breasts are exposed, my nipples harden.

"Whoa." He breathes at my sudden boldness.

I'm still nervous and my body is shaking, but I'm determined now. _I wont let my past ruin or affect my future any longer_.

To my surprise, Christian suddenly sits up and gets out of bed.

"Wait here." He says, making his way towards his walk-in closet.

Well that didn't go as planned.

I wipe my eyes with the sheet while he's in there, because they still feel wet and I don't want to look like some weak woman in distress.

When he comes back out, he's holding two neckties.

"Here," He hands them to me as he lays back down. "Maybe this will help you feel in control."

"Christian, I really don't think that this will work." I tell him nervously, now holding his ties.

This is definitely not a good idea. If I was freaking out without being restricted, I'll surely freak if I can't move.

"It's not for you," He says as he raises his arms above his head. "Restrain me to the bed."

"What?!"

"I once felt out of control and this helped me."

"Are you sure?" _I don't know about this_.

"Absolutely."

"Okay," I hesitantly move so I'm straddling him. I'm no expert in knot tying, but I reach up and wrap it around his wrists, then hook it around the bottom of the headboard.

I giggle when Christian starts moaning and rubbing his nose against my bare breast.

"Stop it," I push him away using my chest since my hands are busy. "I'm trying to tie you up."

Of course he doesn't stop, he advances to kissing the swell, darting his tongue out too, and _now_ is the time my body decides to react. I'm getting wet, hot and horny. I want him.

After I have him secured as best as I can, I lean down and kiss him hard. He pulls on his restraints, but can't move.

"How are you-" _kiss kiss kiss_ "-going to-" _kiss kiss_ "-put on-" _kiss_ "-the condom?"

"You can." _kiss_ "They're in my bedside drawer."

Instead of moving to grab a condom, I continue to kiss him. Kissing him is loosening me up.

I don't know why my body reacted that way earlier, but I hate that it did. Now I'm much more calm, still worrying about not being able to have an orgasm, but otherwise I'm fine. It's sweet that he allowed me to tie him up. However, I want him touching me, I like him touching me, so I reach up and loosen his restraints so he's free.

"Baby-"

"No," I stop him with a kiss. "I want this."

"You are still in charge." He assures me, and it makes me feel cherished that he's doing this for me. I may not know all the details of BDSM, Submission and Domination, but I do know Christian is an alpha male. I'm sure he's use to being the aggressor during sex, not giving up control so easily. I don't want to hold that back from him, I want us to have equal control. Which is why I've untied him. As much as I appreciate the gesture, I know I don't need it with him.

Doing as he did to me, I kiss down his front, stopping when I see small circular scars randomly placed on his chest. He said he was adopted because his mother was neglectful, he didn't say he was abused. Is this from chickenpox or is this from his time as a submissive with that wretched woman. If it was from him being abused, I guess we're more similar than I thought. Perhaps that's why he's being so sweet and understanding with me.

Leaning down, I press my lips to one of his scars, kissing it. His body tenses up but he doesn't say anything to stop me, and he keeps his hands on my hips. Looking up at him, I see that he's fine with me kissing his chest so I kiss another one of his scars while looking into his eyes. I continue to kiss down his chest, until I get to the hem of his boxer briefs.

He lets me run my fingers all over his sexy abs, his deep _V_ , his oh so happy trail.

Looping my fingers under the band, I glance up at him to see him watching me intently. His eyes are dark, glazed over, his mouth is slightly parted to accommodate his heavy breathing. And if the bulge I feel behind his underwear is anything to go by, he's just as turned on as I am.

Finally, I begin to pull down on his boxer briefs, lifting to go over his erection, and once he's sprung free I have to stop every movement.

He's so... big.

"See something you like?" He asks after awhile of my blatant staring.

"Yes," I answer truthfully. It's beautiful.

Wrapping my hand around the base, I give the tip a sweet kiss, causing him to moan quietly and it to twitch. I giggle and pull his underwear the rest of the way off with his help.

He's now gloriously, and unashamed to be, naked.

As much as I want him to take my panties off, I'm not sure if I will have another anxiety attack, so I take them off myself.

"Impatient?" He laughs at how fast I do the task.

"A little." I can't help but to giggle.

Christian reaches over and opens a drawer, reaching inside to grab a condom. I watch, sitting back on my hunches as he puts the condom on.

Once he's ready for me, he holds his hands out to me.

I hold onto his hands for support and swing my leg around so I'm straddling him once again.

I expected to have sex missionary style, but this is good too. I think he's doing this so I wont freak out again. I love that. And the way he's looking at me is nothing like I've ever been looked at before. I can see lust in his eyes. This man is truly amazing.

Leaning down, I kiss him again.

"Are you ready, baby?" He asks, a little impatient but not that I can blame him.

I nod and let him continue his sweet torture.

"Tell me you're ready." He wants to hear me say the words.

"I'm ready. I want you."

He reaches between us and soon his fingers are touching me.

"Ah," My body shudders, but in a good way, at his touch.

"You're so ready." He moans. "So wet and ready."

And then I feel his dick's head. He lines himself up, keeping one hand on my hip, and slowly I sink down onto him. I can feel each and every inch of him. It's been over 4 months, and my body reminds me of that, though it could be because Christian is so big. It takes me a minute to get use to him.

Once I'm use to the feeling of him inside of me, I begin to move.

I'm surprised at first when he doesn't move with me. It isn't until I ask him to move that he does.

He's still letting me take the lead, but he's moving at a different angle each time he enters me. I don't ask questions, I just enjoy the feel of him filling me. It feels amazing, but I know I'm no where near that mind-blowing feeling he gave me earlier. Now that I know what it feels like, I know what to expect.

Christian kisses me while I rock back and forth. He's being nothing like I expected a dominant to be.

I guess he's showing me that I really am in charge here. I love that he's being this sweet with me just to make me feel comfortable. Can this man be anymore perfect?

"AH!" I scream out when he suddenly hits something inside of me. Like a sweet spot of pleasure.

"Oh, baby," He smirks like he hit the jackpot. It's makes him look even more sexy. "There it is."

 _What does that mean?_

"Oh my god!" I cry out when he hits it again.

Now he continues to hit that sweet spot over and over with each and every thrust.

I move faster, rocking against him as he flexes his hips up harder. I'm suddenly hot, sweating, moaning like a whore in heat, panting. My nipples somehow feel like they've pebbled harder as they rub against his bare chest. Oh my god, I feel something tingle deep within me and I know that magical feeling is coming back. I'm building, higher and higher, until suddenly I'm on the edge. I'm just barely holding on, everything is intense, every movement sending me further and further to my breaking point.

"Christian! Christian!"

"Oh, baby, you're so tight. Cum, baby."

It's like his words are my undoing. I feel my insides quiver, tightening around him. He holds my hips and continues to move even though I no longer have the energy to continue. He's prolonging my orgasm. It feels as if it lasts minutes, hours, but at the same time it feels like it only lasts seconds. I'm not even finished yet and I immediately want more, so much more.

When I'm nearing the end of my orgasm, he thrusts deep inside of me once more and stills. I can feel my body naturally milking him.

It's obvious this man knows what he's doing when it comes to sex. _And I thought I was going to have to fake it. That was better than him using his fingers!_

"Ana," He whispers, wrapping one of his arms around my waist and the other is pushing on my behind, holding me to him.

I crash onto him, no longer having enough energy left to hold myself up.

"My Ana." He kisses my temple.

 **Cpov**

I came so hard and so much it feels as if the condom wont hold it all. It's been so fucking long since I've had sex, and she's so fucking warm, wet and tight, I just exploded.

I have to pull out sooner than I'd like, I'm afraid the condom may overflow and leak out. But doing that after I've just finished cuming, it makes me want to push deep inside of her and stay there forever.

 _Fuck, I wish she was on birth-control so I could have her bare_. I know she wont want to go to a clinic, but I could always pay someone under the table to give her birth-control pills or something. I'm not sure how much she'd like that so I guess we'll be using condoms for the foreseeable future.

It's funny, I finally meet someone I can see myself being with for the rest of my life and I can't have her bare, yet all the others... No, I wont thing about that, especially not now.

"You've exhausted me." She complains as she rolls off of me and crashes onto the bed.

"Sorry, baby." I could go another round or two, to be honest. "How do you feel?"

"That was... It was... Wow."

My sentiments exactly. _Wow._

I clean us up, and the mess we've made, before I help her put my shirt back on. _I fucking love that she's wearing my shirt again_.

Once she's tended to, I grab my boxer briefs, slip them back on and then unlock the door for Teddy in the morning.

After I'm finished doing everything, I lay down beside her and pull her soft, warm body close to me. She snuggles against me as I hold her close, now sated and relaxed.

I kiss her head when I hear her contently sigh. _She's happy_. I _made her happy_.

Vanilla. I have never experienced vanilla before tonight, and it's something to be said. I always wondered after I left the lifestyle, even during my time as a Dominant, if I would be able to enjoy vanilla as much as I enjoy my kinky fuckery. And I did enjoy it. But maybe I did because it was with her. I've never felt such a connection with anyone before her.

I knew she would feel out of control, so I wasn't surprised when she tensed up and freaked out. It confirmed the kind of abuse she's had to suffer through. I tried as best as I could to relent my natural dominance and let her take the lead with sex, even going as far as to let her tie me up. It worked for me, as much as I hate to admit it now, but it really did work.

She needed it, and once she felt in control and safe, she was comfortable enough to let go of her demons and enjoy herself.

It was a surprise to feel her touching and kissing my bare chest. I've long since gotten passed my phobia with therapy and Teddy's help, but Teddy is the only person to have touched my bare chest. My family members are still cautious, though they know I've accepted it. I can now hug every member of my family, not only small, quick hugs like Mia use to give me.

It doesn't take long for her breathing to even out so I know she's sleeping. I tried staying awake last night until she fell asleep, but I couldn't be sure if she was sleeping or not when I finally drifted off. Now I know she's sleeping, and if I have anything to say about it, this is where she'll be sleeping every night.

As I hold her in my arms, I think about how my life is turning on its axis.

I never expected my life to turn out this way. I always pictured myself as being a Dom with an endless stream of Subs coming and going, never settling down or having a family. I never once thought of being a father, let alone having a girlfriend. I often had nightmares of my start to life, it really fucked me up, but I often thought it would be a nightmare to settle down; live the white picket fenced life so to speak. But now that I have it, I never want to live any other way again. I know there's a lot Ana and I need to discuss, but I hope she will forever be in our lives. I don't ever want to lose her. She's one nightmare I never want to wake up from.

"Sweet dreams," _My beautiful nightmare_.

* * *

 **a/n: So... after the first chapter, these chapters all started out around the same length, believe it or not. That being said, this chapter is by far way too long, but when I was rewriting it & editing it for posting, things happened in the chapter that weren't originally planned. This chapter should've been split into two but I couldn't find a place to split it. However, I think it works better this way so this super duper long chapter is a gift for my crazy thoughts running wild with this idea that I didn't even know would happen until I sat down to edit.  
Shout out to the lovely ladies who not only leave feedback on Facebook, in the _FSoG Fanfic Obsessed_ group, but also review the story.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed, thanks for reading. :D**


	13. Her Monster

_**Doing things differently with 3rd person pov, but for Boyce only.**_

* * *

 _Meanwhile... Back in Detroit._

 **Boyce-pov**

He has been searching for his wife since that night she ran away, but he couldn't find her no matter how hard he tired. Every time he got close enough, the trail would run cold.

That night, the last time they fought, she stabbed him and ran. _She fucking ran away!_ They were about to become intimate and she stabbed him! He was worried once they married, after she told him she was a virgin, that she wouldn't be experienced enough to please him, but he soon learned that wasn't true. She pleases him immensely. And she was about to please him that night before she stabbed him and ran.

He couldn't believe it. He warned her what would happen if she ever ran again, and he thought she learned her lesson the last time, but she ran again. So this time, he planned to make good on his promise when he finds her. She knows how much he hates to chase after her. He'll make sure she will never run away from him again.

But then he thought to himself; if she comes home on her own, I wont hit her again, I wont even yell. But in the next thought he knew it was a lie.

She made him angry when she ran, she knew that, it was her own fault he lost his temper so often, she did it on purpose. And this time she really fucked things up.

He missed his meeting in Seattle because he used the time off to search for her instead of going to _Seattle Independent Publishing_ , the only publishing house who offered him anything for the book he had been writing since before he met her. It pissed him off that she took away his only opportunity to be published. If she never ran, he would've went to the meeting with her by his side, and he would have been published by now. He tried to reschedule, but they wouldn't accept him again, and it was all because of her.

But that's what she does. She knows exactly what to do to set him off, to push his buttons until he breaks, until he's forced to hit her as punishment. She does it because she wants the attention.

Since that night, he's been trying desperately to find her, but he couldn't devote all his time into it. He still had to work, still had to carry on the charade that Dakota was home and they were happy, but eventually people started asking questions when nobody would see her around. Not that they ever really saw her. But she did attend parties, barbeques and such, hosted by his co-workers when he was invited, however, per his orders, she mostly kept to herself and stayed at home. Just how he liked.

That night, he tried to chase after her immediately, but he had too much to drink. He ended up passing out from the alcohol after she stabbed him so by the time he woke she was long gone and he had a killer migraine with no one to tend to his needs. The front door was left wide open, as well as the bedroom windows, and the furnace was turned off, so it was beyond freezing in the house.

When he finally got up, he looked around the house for her, but he couldn't find his wife anywhere and he wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed when he finally woke.

Though he didn't know where, he knew she couldn't have went very far. It was freezing and snowing, and she had no car. His car was still in the garage where he left it.

Still, he looked for her.

It wasn't the first time she ran, the very first time she came back on her own, having no place to go. Another time she used his credit card to rent a motel room so it wasn't very difficult to find her there. The next time she was smart, she used cash. She caught a bus, but she didn't have enough cash to get very far, just the next town over, so it was simple enough to find her and bring her back again. This time, however, he couldn't find her as easy.

He stumbled outside but the freshly fallen snow covered any trace of her footprints. He drove to the bus station, since that's where she went last time, and flashed his badge asking the ticket takers if they've seen the woman in the photo he had in his wallet. No one did, though. He drove up and down the streets of Detroit, even stopping people who resembled her and checking shelters, but he couldn't find her. She was gone. She left him.

His next step was to ask the neighbors. Dakota borrowed sugar from one of them that evening before he came home, but she didn't specify who. So Boyce asked all of their closest neighbors if they had seen Dakota that day. Again, none admitted they had. He knew then that one of their neighbors were lying, because he had the sugar to prove it.

Boyce waited and watched, trying to think of where Dakota could have gone this time and who would help her. She had no one, no family to speak of, and he made sure she had no friends.

He got lucky a few weeks after she left when a buddy a few miles south was visiting his in-laws called to ask why Dakota was there. Boyce played along, explained that Dakota was visiting a sick friend, and then cautiously question him about Dakota's location. The buddy explained he ran into Dakota at a pawn shop. She was selling her jewelry.

Boyce later found out that it was her wedding band and engagement rings she was selling. But what really set him off, was after the snow had melted, he found the necklace he bought her on the ground. Just thrown out like it was worthless trash. _Well fine, if she doesn't want these nice things, he just wont buy her anything anymore, not even necessities, and we'll see how much she likes that!_

Pissed, Boyce hung up with his friend and then made the trip down there. He had to use vacation hours just to do so. He figured she'd go south since it was winter when she left, such a stupid time to run, but this just proved his thoughts right.

When he arrived, she was already gone. But this time, someone working at the bus station recognized her. He bought her rings back then followed where that bus went. But it was another dead end when that bus station lead to many locations around the US.

Boyce had to go home empty handed again.

He couldn't chase her around the world, as much as he wanted to, because he had to work and keep up the appearance that everything was fine in his marriage. But he could follow clues from home.

The house was never the same without Dakota. It was in a constant state of disaster, looking like an aftermath of an EF4 tornado, with no one to clean it how he liked. And with no one to cook his meals for him, he was forced to eat take-out. She knew how much he hated that. She would have a lot to make up for when she came home.

He was always a drinker, but with Dakota gone he drank more and more, and everyday he became angrier and angrier at Dakota for leaving him. He wanted to hit her, kick her, punch her, and it made him angry that he felt this way. He knew she ran because of him hitting her, and he tried to stop so many times, but then she would do something incredibly stupid and he would just lash out.

It wasn't always like that. When they were dating, everything was great. Of course when he discovered that she didn't see it as dating, that she saw him as just a friend, it's what tipped the iceberg. Here he was, crushing hard on this beautiful, young girl, wanting to give her a chance at a better life, and she didn't even like him more than a friend. He gave her everything and she only saw him as a friend?! She had to take time to think about his fucking marriage proposal for fuck's sake! Who the fuck did that?! He felt like she was using him, so he figured he'd use her in return.

Boyce continued to search for his 'missing' wife, even though he knew she didn't want to be found. He could only search for her on his days off since he had to leave Detroit to look for her. He couldn't stop working and already took off so many sick days, vacation days, and any other emergency days he had built up. He had no more available days off.

There were so many times were he was close to finding her, only to just miss her. He knew without a doubt that he would eventually find his wife. She was his, she belonged to him. He wanted to kill her for leaving him and if she was fucking another man, he would kill him too. It didn't matter that Boyce has been fucking since she left, he wouldn't have been if she was home and doing her wifely duties, attending to his wants and needs like she is supposed to.

Four months after Dakota had been gone, the old woman next door became ill and had to be treated at the hospital. He didn't know why or what happened to her, he could give a shit. He suspected she and her husband were the ones that helped Dakota that night because they looked at him like he was a piece of shit. Then again, they always looked at him like that even before Dakota ran away. But they were the only neighbors to turn their noses up at him like they were too good for him. And he hated that shit.

While he was tending to his yard, trying to start the damn lawnmower, he noticed a rental car pull up and park in front of his lying neighbor's home.

It wasn't long after that that he heard a car door open and shut.

Boyce had been minding his own business, he preferred it that way, so he didn't notice when the driver had walked over to him before knocking or entering the house they intended on visiting.

"Excuse me," A woman with kind eyes called his attention.

He was about to finally start the mower, but stopped to give her his full attention.

 _Perhaps she was lost? Perhaps she knew Dakota?_ No. _No, that was impossible._

"May I help you?" He asked politely but what he really wanted to say was, _mind your own damn business and leave me the fuck alone!_

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but does Dakota Fox live here?" She asked, pointing to his house.

 _Dakota? This woman is asking about Dakota?_

He didn't think anyone around here knew her name. She wasn't allowed to talk to anyone and he didn't like her being outside when he wasn't home. Only his co-workers asked about his wife, they never officially met their neighbors to learn names and he's never seen this woman before.

But he knew someone was lying when he asked if any of the neighbors knew his wife. He suspected many knew of her and knew her name. Some more than others.

Dakota was very sweet, kind, lovable, and she was also very attractive. Men noticed her, more so than they should a married woman. And Dakota wouldn't deflect their flirting banter either. It pissed him off. She would always be punished for the way men looked at her, because she wore something 'revealing' on purpose to gain their attention, unintentional or not. He never liked her talking to other men, not even his co-workers, because she was too 'friendly' towards them. The truth was, he was afraid she would eventually leave him for someone else. But she knew he didn't like her being friendly or flirting with men and she did it anyway. It was the reason they moved the last time and why she's not allowed to leave the house without him, so there is no risk of her running off with another man.

Not many women asked about Dakota, though. So why is this woman asking about her?

And then it hit him like a brick. _She_ _knows Dakota!_

"Yes," He told the woman asking about his wife, now giving her his full undivided attention. "Why?"

"It's just that my mother and father always spoke fondly of her. I've tried countless times to get them to move closer to my family and I, but they wouldn't hear of it. They said Detroit is their home," At this point, he was starting to lose interest in the conversation and regretting answering her in the first place. But then she continued and it peeked his interest. "but I suspected it was because they adored this girl they raved about over the phone, Dakota Fox, and I wanted to thank her for everything she's done for them."

"Your parents knew Dakota?" He continued to question, he was good at interrogating.

"Yes, they live right there," She pointed to the house she parked in front of. It was the neighbors he suspected all along. "They said she helped cook meals and clean for them."

 _What the fuck?! This is the first he's hearing of this shit!_

"I'm sorry, Dakota isn't home right now." He replied politely with a fake smile. "I'm her husband, Boyce, I'll give her the message."

"You're her husband?" She sounded disgusted. _What the fuck did she think he was, the fucking gardener?!_

"Yes!" He snapped, now glaring at the woman. _Had the whole world gone mad?!_

The woman turned up her nose, just like her parents do, and looked like she wanted to slap him.

 _Oh, they knew alright. And they were the ones to help Dakota get away from him, of this he was sure of now more than ever._

After she went inside her parents' house, he went inside his, where he watched and waited for the woman to leave.

He changed his clothes, now wearing all black, and grabbed a pair of latex gloves while he was waiting.

After she left, her parents in tow, he jumped over the fence in the backyard that separated their houses.

He picked the lock easily enough and entered the home undetected. The only life around was their old, fat cat who stayed asleep on the old man's chair.

 _Useless fucking animal_.

Boyce made sure not to touch anything or move anything without putting it back in the exact same spot he found it. Years of experience. He looked in the most obvious places, making sure to look in their office first. The main thing he found was bills and checkbooks, nothing useful to him. He decided to check their house phone messages since it said they had three.

The first message was useless.

The next message was from their daughter, the woman who bothered him earlier, saying she was at the airport and on her way to their house.

 _Do these people never answer their fucking phone, for fuck's sake! He knew they were home when she called, so why didn't they answer?!_

The last message, which was the most recent, was like hitting the jackpot. It was _her._ It was Dakota.

 _"Hey, it's me."_ Her beautiful voice flew through the speaker.

"Dakota." I whispered her name like a prayer. He hadn't heard her sweet voice in months.

 _"I just wanted to say, I'm safe. I'm sorry it took this long to call, but I could never find a place that I felt safe. But, I think I finally found a safe haven, thanks to you."_

It sounded as if she was crying, or about to. He hated when she cried, she knew that.

 _"Thank you again, I'll never be able to repay you for what the two of you did for me. I miss you. I'll try to call back another time but I don't have a phone so-"_

 _"Ana!"_ A child can be heard in the background.

She ended the call before saying anything more.

 _Did the kid say Ana? Who was this kid? Why was she with a child? How did this child know his Dakota and who the fuck was Ana?_

He looked at the caller ID seeing that the message was recent, only a few minutes old, so she must've called right after they left and before he entered their home.

He wrote down the name and number of the place where it said she called from.

What he didn't understand was, if these people helped Dakota get away from him, why was their daughter asking about Dakota? Did her parents not tell her that Dakota has been gone for over four months? From her reaction to him being Dakota's husband, it's obvious they told their daughter _something_ about him. Maybe her parents didn't mention that Dakota left him or that they helped her escape an abusive husband. Or maybe they aren't telling anyone anything, keeping it to themselves like the selfish people they are.

He knew these people were no good liars, they even lie to their own daughter.

And then, as luck would have it, before he left the room the phone rang.

He quickly checked the caller ID and saw it was showing a Washington area code. The place the call was coming from; Mama Mia's, the same place Dakota's call came from.

It was her. It had to be her! She was calling back already.

He planned to listen to the message because he knew he couldn't talk to her, not wanting her to know that he knew where she was, not wanting her to run again before he had the chance to get there and bring her back home where she belonged, but the damn cat jumped on the desk and knocked the phone loose.

 _Damn cat, and damn old people for having a corded phone_.

He had no choice but to answer. He would play it off that it was the wrong number if it wasn't her. He had no plan of what to do if it was her.

"Hello?" He asked the caller, disguising his voice a bit.

It was quiet, but he knew they were still on the line because he heard background noise and breathing.

He didn't know what to think. Maybe she recognized his voice, that's why she wasn't speaking. Maybe it was a miss dial, like someone redialed the last number called.

 _"Are you okay?"_ A man finally asks.

Boyce was confused at first. _Why would a man call to ask if the old couple were okay?_ But then he heard that familiar feminine tone, so soft and sweet, sounding every bit of the angel she was.

 _"Yes. Fine."_ Dakota answered and then seconds later the line clicks off.

It was all the proof he needed that she was at this Mama Mia's place in Washington. And it had Boyce seeing red. _She's with another man?! Another fucking man?! Fucking Bitch!_

He hung up the phone, slamming it down, and went back to his house.

On his way home, he called his boss and told him that he had a family emergency so he couldn't come in to work for the next few days. But, to his dismay, his boss said he used up all his days off; it was from when he first started looking for Dakota. He has no choice but to wait until he has his next days off. Hopefully Dakota will stay where she is until then and he can find her.

Maybe he can do something that will force her to stay there until he can get to her.

Back inside his own home, he went straight to the computer and looked up Mama Mia's in Washington.

Mama Mia's was a restaurant in a small town just outside of Seattle, Washington.

He quickly wrote down the address and packed a bag, adding duct tape, rope, handcuffs and his spare gun for when he was able to make the trip.

He finally found her, and he wasn't going to let her slip away again. She was his and he was going to get her back.

"I'm coming for you, Dakota. You can run but you can't hide from me."


	14. Her Dark Prince

**Apov**

 _One Month Later_

I wish I could start my life over. I would do everything differently. Maybe I would go to college, I could work at some hardware store to help pay my way, have a best friend like Kate by my side, maybe I could've even filled in for her when she was too sick to interview Christian. Perhaps that's how I could've met him instead of from being on the run, afraid for my life. I often wonder what our relationship would've been like had we met sooner in life. But then he might not have Teddy and I wouldn't trade that little boy for the world.

I guess starting over isn't the answer. Maybe I can pick and choose what I want to start over, leaving some things the same and others behind.

 _If it were only that easy._

My mind has been set into survival mode for so long, always expecting the worse and ready to fight or flight, that it's weird to just relax. But I've decided, I can either live in the past, this constant state of suffering and fear, or I can put it behind me and just live. Instead of looking for something wrong all the time, I'm going to live my life the way I intend, the way I deserve to live. I'm going to be happy and the only way it's achievable is if I let go of my past and focus on my future. And that's exactly what I've been doing this past month. I've been letting my past go and keeping it in the past where it belongs and enjoying life with Christian and Teddy. Besides, Boyce can't find me here, I'm safe here, I'm safe with Christian.

There is something freeing about not being terrified of your own shadow.

It's been about a month since Christian and I ventured into this relationship, and everything has been going well for us. Not to mention Teddy is in heaven. I am too.

Sleeping with Christian, for some reason, I don't have any nightmares. Which is a relief, but I don't want to be depended on him.

The second night I slept with him, I continued to dream of us in the meadow. When I woke, Christian asked me what I was dreaming about because I was smiling. But I couldn't tell him. And not for the obvious reasons. Of course I wanted to tell him I dreamed we were married and Teddy was calling me mommy, but I also wanted it to stay mine, my fantasy, my dream, my reality. If I told him, it would be real that it was just a dream.

Being with Christian and Teddy is like a dream come true, like a fairytale. It's like I'm Cinderella, attending the ball with the Prince, only when midnight rolls around everything will go back to the way it was. Christian will still be Prince Charming but I'll go back to the poor girl who wears a rag for a dress that lives in a small cottage in the woods that's in need of repair. My fancy carriage will turn into a pumpkin with my fairy god-mother no where in sight. Sooner or later, everything will go back to the way it was before. It's almost like I'm going to wake up and be back in Detroit with _him,_ like this is all just one big fantasy that I'm dreaming up, like he beat me so badly that I'm in a coma or something and this is what my unconscious state of mind is dreaming up.

It feels unreal. And like all fairytales, they aren't real. They are stories made up so we can escape reality. And that is exactly what I want, to escape reality.

Which is why I had to go home the next day.

I was conflicted and I needed time to think. I like Christian, but I don't want to need him. I've traveled down that road before and I never wanted to depend on a man again. Just like with Boyce, Christian can offer me so much more than I have. But the price I paid... I can't do it again. I realized there's a huge difference. I _want_ to be with Christian, I don't _need_ to be with him. I'm not with him to better my chances at surviving life.

Still, I don't want to depend on him so I didn't want to rush anything between us. However, that didn't last long...

I stayed with Christian until I had to work. When he dropped me off, I was a little nervous about telling him that I would be going back to my place since I knew he wanted me to come back to his. I told him I would stay with him on my next night off to soften the blow. He surprisingly was okay with it, if a little reluctant, but he asked that I take the cell phone he purchased for me when I watched Teddy awhile back. If it makes him feel better about 'leaving me alone in the woods so far away from him', as he put it, I gladly I agreed. We kissed and left it at that.

After work that day, Christian was waiting for me. He drove me home. Teddy was playing with Ava at Kate and Elliot's house so Christian was alone. I told Christian he didn't have to, but he insisted, saying he didn't like me walking home if he could drive me. I have a feeling he is going to work something out to where I now have a ride anywhere I go.

We hung out, made out and... of course, had mind-blowing sex. So mind-blowing in fact, that we broke my bed. It wasn't a very sturdy bed to begin with, but now it's just a mattress on the floor.

We laid in my small bed together until I started to get tired. Christian wanted to stay longer but had to get home for Teddy. I wrapped my robe around my naked body, too tired to get dressed, and walked him to the door, being sure to lock it after he left. He made me promise to call him before I went to sleep. I did.

That's when things got complicated.

After talking with Christian, I fell into a deep sleep. Something about his voice comforted me enough to continue dreaming of us in the meadow. It was great, the nightmares were gone, not only when I slept with Christian but when he wasn't with me at all. That is, until Boyce showed up at the meadow and it turned into an awful nightmare.

I woke in a panic, I could barely breath, and my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest. And to make matters worse, I heard a car coming down the gravel road at full speed.

Thankfully it was just Christian.

Apparently, I fell asleep before we ended the call, so Christian stayed on the line just to hear me breathe. I joked about it being creepy, but it was really sweet. Anyway, Christian said he thought someone broke into my 'shack' and was hurting me -he heard me having the nightmare through the phone- so he called his sister to watch Teddy and rushed over.

I couldn't believe it. He was so worried. I assured him everything was fine and reminded him of my nightmares. He said after hearing my nightmare, he wouldn't be comfortable leaving me alone and practically begged me to stay with him for his own peace of mind. The way he looked, so tortured and scared, I couldn't say no. As much as I don't want to depend on him, we need each other almost as much as we want each other. I agreed to stay with him more often than not, but reserved the right to keep my place.

I've been staying with Christian every since and haven't been back to my place yet.

That was about a month ago.

Since staying with Christian, I've gained a bit of healthy weight due to eating regularly, not to mention having a ride to and from work. I'm back to a healthy weight now and Christian seems to like it. Which is weird. Not that I'm healthy, but that I'm eating more. He seems obsessed with food, one of his many quirks, and wasn't thrilled to see my refrigerator practically empty. I've also not had a nightmare since that night, thank goodness, so I've been getting plenty of rest.

I may not be staying at my place, but I still pay rent there and still have my job.

Since I'm working today, Christian is driving me to the restaurant. We already dropped Teddy off with Grace because Christian has a business meeting in Seattle again. He wanted me to take the day off, watch Teddy at Escala, and for us to stay the night in Seattle like we did the last time. Sort of like a mini getaway. But I couldn't. I no longer work doubles so I need to work my regular scheduled hours. Christian has said that I don't have to work but he understands my need to.

Christian pulls into the restaurant parking lot. ... We're early so we sit in his SUV until I have to go inside. The parking lot isn't full, it's still early and the lunch shift hasn't started yet, but I know I'll be busy when it does. Weekends are usually the busiest but weekday lunches are just as busy.

"I should be home before dinner." Christian brings me from my thoughts. "This meeting isn't like the last one, it wont be long."

"Okay, I'll have dinner ready by the time you're home tonight."

I doubt he'll be home before I'm off so I'll have to walk to his place. I don't mind, it's been awhile since I have. Though his place is a lot further than mine from the restaurant. Perhaps I'll go to mine until he comes back and then he can pick me up on his way home.

I'm scanning the parking lot looking for anything out of place, as I always do, when Christian pulls my face to his and kisses me hard.

"You have no idea how hard it makes me to hear you say that." He whispers against my lips.

"Say what?" I breathe out. _Cause I'll say it again._

He kisses me again, instead of answering my question. I get the idea that if he didn't have to go to Seattle for business and I didn't have to work, we'd be having sex in the car right this second.

We reluctantly pull away because we both have places to be.

"I'll see you later tonight, baby." He gives me one last chaste kiss.

"Drive safe." I say as I get out of the SUV.

Before I walk through the employee entrance, I look over my shoulder seeing the SUV still in it's spot, waiting for me to go inside. I can just barely make Christian out through the glare of the sun on his windshield. I give him a smile, a little wave and then make my way inside to start my shift.

I make my way to the back and clock in.

On my way, I see that Gail is here today. I like Gail, she's great, but her husband is the chief of police and he scares me. He always looks at me like he knows something. We've never spoken, but the impassive look he gives off, it's intimidating. I usually try to avoid him at all costs when he comes in to see her or pick up lunch.

Before the lunch rush arrives, I make sure everything is fully stocked and ready to go.

I like to over stock, especially when I know it will be busy, so I go to the stock room to grab extra napkins and straws for the drinks.

As I walk passed the open back door, I glance outside to where Christian was parked and see that his SUV is no longer there.

I'm still cautious, I think I always will be, but it's nice not to constantly look over my shoulder all the time.

Gathering a few packages of napkins, I don't turn around when I hear someone behind me. It's probably just Gail or another waitress.

"There you are."

I jump and turn around when I hear him behind me.

"I thought you left?"

"I forgot to tell you my mom is going to pick you up and take you and Teddy home after you're off."

"Oh. Okay. But you could've called."

"Then I wouldn't be able to do this."

Christian wraps his arms around my waist and since I have napkin packages in my hands, I try as best as I can to wrap mine around his neck.

"I'm tempted to reschedule this meeting." He whispers huskily.

"I still have to work." I remind him.

He lets out a low growl which causes me to giggle. Then he lowers his hands so he's grabbing my ass and pulling me close.

"Christian!" I giggle again and try to get away but he wont let me.

I let out a little squeal when he easily lifts me, pushing my back against the wall. His lips crash onto mine and I give into the kiss, if only just a little.

I'm the first to pull away. Even though we are in the back and nobody can see us, it's not very appropriate behavior. And even though his sister is the owner, I wouldn't want to lose my job or take advantage of the fact that I can do stuff like this because I'm... dating the owner's brother.

"Alright, I have to go." He sets me back down on my feet and gives my ass a playful slap. It leaves me wanting more.

Christian is very sweet and gentle when we have sex, with the exception of breaking my bed a month earlier, though the bed was old and not built very well. I no longer freak out when we're intimate, but he said he was a dominant so I know he was once a rough lover. I googled BDSM in the library and asked him a few more questions about it. I know I could never do half of the things described, but he said he enjoyed rough kinky sex. I kind of... want to try it.

He gives me one last longing kiss before he finally leaves, for real this time, and I get back to work.

When I finally come out of the stock room and look up at Gail, she's smiling at me. It's then I remember she was his house-manager in Seattle so she knew what kind of man he was before moving here. I'm not sure who he was before, but he told me he wasn't a romantic, hearts and flowers kind of guy. But like he told me before about my past, I want to know him now, not who he was.

 **...**

In the middle of my shift, Taylor comes in to pick up his lunch order. I go out of my way to avoid helping him, to the point of hiding in the back, letting another waitress do it. Thankfully he's already ordered so he's only picking it up, which means he wont stay to eat, but he does stay longer than a usual pick up order since his wife is working.

The restaurant phone rings. I don't usually answer the phone, but since I'm in the back trying to avoid Taylor, I do.

"Thank you for calling Mama Mia's, may I help you?"

I wait for someone to respond, but no one does.

"Hello?"

Still nothing so I hang up.

Taylor has finally left so I'm about to go back out to the main room. Just as I'm about to walk away, the phone rings again.

"Thank you for calling Mama Mia's," I answer again. "This is Ana, may I help you?"

Again, it's silent on the other end.

"Hello?" I sing.

 _"Uh-"_ I finally hear someone. _"Is- Is Mia available?"_

The voice sounds familiar but I can't place it. I'm sure they've been in here before.

"No, I'm sorry, she's not here today. You could try her cell or I could take a message?"

 _"Thank you, dear. I'll call her cell."_

"No problem."

I hang up and continue working.

 **...**

When the lunch shift finally ends, I'm exhausted. We were extremely busy today, which means I made good tips. I still pay my rent, even though I've been staying with Christian, but it's nice to have a little more than usual left over since I don't have to buy groceries or necessities. If I need anything, Christian makes sure I have it.

I'm waiting on the bench outside for Grace, since Christian said she was going to pick me up, but she's running a bit late. I'm glad I don't have to wait at my place until he's back from his meeting. It's hot today and I don't have air.

It doesn't take long for a luxury, cream-colored SUV to pull into the parking lot.

The car parks in Mia's reserved spot, close to the back entrance and where I'm waiting. I see Grace in the driver's seat so I know it's her. But when the back passenger door opens, I'm surprised to see Kate getting out.

"Hey, Ana." Kate greets me.

"Hi." I smile as I climb into the back with her.

Grace is driving, Mia is in the front passenger seat and Kate is in the back with me. They must've had a girls day today.

"Thank you for the ride, Grace."

"It's no problem, dear." She smiles kindly at me through the rear-view mirror and starts to drive away from the restaurant.

"I hope you weren't waiting too long for us." Grace adds.

"I wasn't," I answer truthfully. "I just finished a couple minutes before you pull up."

"That's good."

"Where's Teddy?" I ask, not only because he's not with them but because his car seat is not in the car.

"He's with Elliot and Ava." Kate is the one to answer.

"We were picking up our dresses in the next town over." Mia tells me of their day. "Coping Together, a charity event we host, is Saturday. Did you get your dress yet?"

"Um." I have no idea what she is talking about.

"Grandma is still coming, right?" Kate asks Grace, helping me avoid Mia's question.

"Yes, she and grandpa _will_ be attending." Grace smiles. "She's feeling much better than last month."

"She called me earlier," Mia says.

"Oh," That reminds me. "Someone called the restaurant asking for you, Mia. I told her she could leave a message, but she didn't. She said she'd call your cell."

"Yeah, that was probably her."

Kate and Mia start to go on and on about their gowns and how they will do their hair and makeup this year.

I just sit back and let them converse about this event and who will be attending.

"Well, I think we could all use a salon visit." Grace says as she makes a right turn.

I'm not sure where Elliot, Ava and Teddy are, but I have a feeling it was left instead of right. When she said that, I assumed it was in relation to Kate and Mia's conversation.

When Grace pulls up to a salon, I realize she means now and not for the event they are attending next weekend.

"Uh-" How do I say I don't have enough money to visit a salon with them. I'm sure this is a high-end salon and I can't even afford someone doing hair and nails in their own home. Even though I could use a salon visit, it's definitely not in my budget for the foreseeable future. Sure I have extra money, since I'm no longer saving every penny, but I've been spending it on Teddy and little things here and there. No way do I have enough for something this extravagant.

"Don't worry," Kate senses my dilemma. "Grace has a deal with the owner. New clients she brings in are free."

"Anything for Grace Grey." Mia giggles.

It does relax me. And I did make pretty good tips today so I could just tip the employee since I'm not paying for anything. If Christian had it his way, I wouldn't pay for anything myself. I do accept his help, I appreciate it, but I don't want to be completely dependent on him and he knows that. I've accepted so much from him already.

I guess it could be nice to treat myself for once.

We all exit the vehicle and walk into the salon.

Once a man notices Grace, he rushes to kiss her cheeks and greet all whom she brought. He has a funny accent that I can't place, and he seems to know Mia and Kate well, but obviously he wouldn't know me.

"And who is this?" He holds both of my hands. It makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don't pull away. I wouldn't want to be rude.

Thankfully Grace answers for me,

"This is my son Christian's girlfriend. Ana." She introduces me proudly. "Ana, this is Don, he owns the salon."

"Christian?" He asks surprised, finally letting my hands go to hold his chest.

I nod and wrap my arms around myself so he wont reach for my hands again.

Though Christian and I have made our relationship official, it's still weird hearing it. If his family only knew who I really was, I don't think they would be so thrilled to announce my status with Christian. I know he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, but I'm sure they wouldn't approve of me. Not to mention, if I'm found, the potential danger I bring along.

"You, sweetheart, are mine." Since my arms are wrapped around my body, he reaches for my elbow and pulls me with him like he just found the secret recipe to making his business a success.

I look back at the girls I came with and they are already going off with other workers. Grace is getting her hair fixed, Mia is getting her nails done, and Kate is touching up her roots.

The man, who Grace introduced as Don, sits me in a chair directly in front of a mirror.

"You have very beautiful hair, darling girl," He plays with my hair, running his fingers through it and fanning it out, "But whoever cut it last, messed it up."

"That would be me." I admit.

"Oh." He seems surprised. "No, no, no, no. We cannot have this. I will fix you right up. That man of yours will be left drooling by the time I'm finished."

I giggle at the vibe he's giving off. He's obviously gay. I think. Kate did assume Christian is gay and he is most definitely not gay.

He asks if there's anything specific that I want, but I don't. I just don't want it too short and I don't like layers, other than that, he's free to go wild. Tame, but wild.

As he works, we make small talk. _Very,_ small talk.

I don't give too much away about myself, as always. I tell him a little about my job, that Mia is my boss, and that I moved here to have a fresh start. The same thing I tell anyone who asks. But I don't volunteer anything or start the conversation. The only thing I told him willingly is that he and my father share the same name.

It's an awkward silence between us, with him trying to get me to open up and talk and me not wanting to say anything at all.

Then he asks about Christian.

That's when I open up a bit more. I tell him a little about our relationship, not much, and how I adore Christian's son Teddy. And once I bring up Teddy, I can't stop smiling and talking about the adorable four year old.

If it wasn't for Teddy, I don't think I would've stayed here as long as I did, or gave his father a chance.

"...and then Teddy said that if people threw tomatoes in the can, it would hurt." I finish telling him about the time we watched a movie where the characters were throwing tomatoes. I assured Teddy that the tomatoes were soft so they didn't hurt anyone but it still wasn't nice to throw them at people. Of course the comment he made in return about them being in a can was too funny, and I had to agree, it would hurt if they were in the can.

"There." Don turns me around to face the mirror so I can see the finished look of my hair.

"Wow." I can't stop turning my head and touching my soft hair. It's beautiful and it looks amazing. I can't wait for Christian to see me.

I try to tip Don but he wont accept it. Instead he tells me he will come by the restaurant and I can treat him to a slice of apple pie. It doesn't seem like a very fair trade, but I agree.

Since I was the last to finish, the girls are enjoying a mimosa while Grace chats with her stylist. When they see I'm done, they all rave about my hair. I happily take the complaints but I'm excited to see Christian's reaction. Just thinking about him as me giddy, I hope he's home soon.

"Teddy is at my house," Grace says to me as we make our way towards her car. "Why don't you and Teddy have dinner with us, Christian can pick you both up from there?"

"Oh," I'm a little surprised by her offer. Christian and Teddy have dinner there but usually when I'm working. If I'm not working, Christian and Teddy have dinner at home with me.

I don't really want to have dinner with them. It's not that I don't like them, they're great, but I don't want them to know about my past and not approve. I'd hate to be caught in the middle between Christian and his family. But Christian assured me that his family wont mind and that his choice to be with me has nothing to do with his family's approval or not. He said it's up to me if they know, but it changes nothing.

In the car on the way to Grace's house, I check the phone Christian returned to me and see he sent me a text.

 _ **I'm on my way home, baby. I'll see you and Teddy soon. -C**_

 **I'm just now on my way to get Teddy. We'll be at your parents house. Can you pick us up on your way home? x -A**

 _ **And what, prey tell, have you been doing while I've been gone? -C**_

 **It's a surprise. x -A**

 _ **Lucky for you, I like surprises. -C**_

I smile at his text. Another comes through so I read it.

 _ **I'm about to drive -leaving Seattle now- so I'll talk to you laters. -C**_

 **Drive safe! x -A**

 _ **Always. x -C**_

Before I know it, Grace is pulling into a driveway and parks her car.

Their home is about the same size as Christian's, not too big and not too small, still very luxurious.

I follow the girls inside and take in how beautiful everything is.

"You have a very beautiful home, Grace."

"Thank you, dear."

We enter the kitchen where two men I've never met before can be seen though the large windows, working a grill outside. Teddy is playing with little Ava in what looks like a sandbox a few feet away, a safe distance from the grill.

"Ana, I want you to meet my husband." Kate grabs my attention and pulls me with her outside.

"Elliot!" Kate calls to her husband.

The younger blonde guy turns around and smiles at her, but when he sees me it's like he is seeing something for the first time, something that doesn't usually exist, a rarity. It makes me blush. He smiles kindly at me and makes his way over to us. The man with him, who I now assume is Christian's father, follows behind him.

"Ana, this is Elliot Grey." Kate proudly introduces us. "He's my husband and Christian's older brother. Elliot, _this_ is Ana."

"I've heard a lot about you." He admits. It worries me because I know Christian wouldn't say anything but I did tell Kate a lot about my 'friend' from back home when I was drinking with her a while back. I know she knows I was talking about myself, but I'm not sure who all she told. She said she wouldn't say anything, and didn't say anything to Christian. But Christian was interested in me, Elliot is her husband, surely she said something to him about it.

"Oh?"

"All good things." He assures me.

Suddenly, he steps towards me. I'm not sure what his intentions are so I take a subtle yet noticeable step back and he stops. He doesn't seem to mind though, he's still smiling.

"It's nice to meet you, Elliot." I finally say with a smile, not wanting him to think anything about my not wanting to be touched.

"You must be Ana," The other man, I presume to be Christian's father, finally joins us.

"Yes, sir."

He looks to Grace, giving her a questioning look. She winks at him and then he turns his smile back to me.

"It's very lovely to meet you, my dear."

"It's nice to meet you as well, Mr. Grey."

"Please, call me Carrick." He insists.

After I've been introduced, I try to make myself invisible, but they're all standing around me, all staring at me like I'm sort of exhibit. _I wish Christian were here._

"So-" Carrick begins, but before he can say another word, Teddy has now noticed me and is calling my attention.

"Ana!" Teddy cheers.

I give him a little wave hello and excuse myself from the adults so I can head towards Teddy, thankful to get away from their curious questions that I'm sure they are wanting answers for.

"Ava, this my Ana!"

My heart has officially melted.

"Hi, Ava." I say to the cute little girl as I sit in the sand with them. "I'm Ana."

She smiles but doesn't say anything. She has a princess Barbie doll in her hand and next to Teddy is a GI Joe action figure.

I'm sure Christian's family is watching us, but I don't look back to check.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask Teddy as I start to play in the sand with them.

"We are building a tower." Teddy fills me in. "A pwincess is gonna be in there and she needs her pwince to save her."

"So she's a damsel in distress and needs saving?"

"Uh-" Teddy looks confused at first but then he agrees.

I'm still new at this, I've not been around children before Teddy, but I'm getting the hang of it, I think. I even read him bedtime stories and put him to bed some nights, too.

"Why can't the princess ever save herself?" I ask the children. "Why does she always need saving?"

"Because it's the pwince's job to be the knight in shinning arbor."

"You mean, armor?" I giggle at the mispronunciation of the word.

We continue to build up the tower until it is as tall as Teddy insists it to be. Then Teddy tells Ava to put her princess at the top. I can tell he has his father's CEO gene, he likes to be in charge.

"The pwince is gonna run to the tower and save her before anything bad happens." He explains as he now grabs his action figure.

"What if the prince doesn't get there in time? Can the princess save herself then?"

"No. That's not how it works." He frowns at the thought. "The pwince is fast. He has fast shoes."

"Fast shoes?" I giggle at his explanation. _Oh gosh, what if the prince takes his fast shoes off?_

"Yup, just like my dad. He has fast shoes, nobody can catch him, not even uncle Lelliot when they play football."

"Okay," I ask another question, "What if the prince can't find the princess because the bad guy moved her to a different tower and the prince goes to the wrong tower?"

"Ana," He says my name exasperated. "Don't wowwy about it. My daddy will save you."

"What?"

"My daddy is yo pwince."

"I think so too." I smile at him and watch as he and Ava play together.

After awhile, Kate joins us and says dinner is ready.

Together, we all walk back to the patio. I'm thankful to have Teddy with me now, hopefully they wont ask me anything too probing with little ones around.

"I wanna sit by my Ana." Teddy announces. "She's mine."

I giggle at how possessive he is over me.

"No," I hear a deep masculine voice behind me, correcting Teddy, "She's mine."

I turn around surprised to hear him.

"Christian!" I run over, smiling, so happy to see him.

"What did you do to your hair?" He asks me when I'm in his arms, keeping one arm around me while the other hand plays with my hair.

"I went to a salon with your mother and sisters." I explain apprehensively. "Do you like it?"

"Do _you_ like it?" He turns my question back to me.

"Yes."

"Then I love it."

He gives me a chaste kiss then greets his family, all while keeping me close to him. He knows how to make me comfortable, and I love that.

Once again, I am seated between Christian and Teddy.

"Christian, are you taking Ana to Coping Together as your date?" Mia wants to know. I admit, I'm curious about this event myself.

"No." His curt reply has me wondering if I did something wrong. I try not to let it get to me but I'm not sure why he wouldn't want me to go with him.

"Why not?" She asks. "You're still going, aren't you?"

"Probably not."

"But you go every year," Mia whines when she thinks her brother wont attend. "Why wouldn't you go this year? And now you have an actual date, paps will go crazy!"

"Paps?" _Is that like their grandfather or something?_

"Paparazzi." Christian explains with a subtle hint. And it's then that I know why he's not taking me with. If my photo were to show up in the magazines or online, I would be found within seconds. But that still doesn't mean Christian shouldn't attend if his family hosts the event and he goes every year.

"I could watch Teddy, and Ava too if you'd like, while you all go." I offer.

"Gail usually watches the kids," Mia says, "You should come with and enjoy the event."

"Mia." Christian says her name in warning, giving her a look that says drop it. She pouts but doesn't say anything more about it.

"I'm sure Ava would like that." Kate says trying to break the tension between Christian and Mia.

We all start eating. The guys start to talk about sports, Grace, Mia and Kate continue to talk about Coping Together, Ava and Teddy are still going on about the prince saving the princess in the tower. They converse with me too, but for the most part, I'm quiet.

It's nice, not something I'm use to but I could definitely get use to it. You can definitely feel the love with this family. I find myself wondering how they were before they moved here and how much it's changed them, but something tells me they haven't changed too much. Maybe just Christian, compared to what he told me about his life before Teddy. I remember he said he rarely visited his parents or hung out with his siblings, now he sees them often.

After we finish eating, we say our goodbyes and then Christian drives us back to his house. Teddy is drifting to sleep in the back seat while Christian and I are chatting in the front.

"Are you not going to that event because of me?" I ask him once we're alone.

"Baby-" He begins, but I know it's true and he's going to assure me that it's fine he misses it.

"Christian, I heard your sister, you go every year. I don't want to hold you back from doing things you normally do."

"It's my choice."

"I understand that, but I feel really bad because I know you're not going because of me."

He sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair.

"Are you sure you don't mind watching the kids?" Christian gives in.

He now has one hand on the wheel, the other on my thigh. It feels as if my insides are on fire. I'm so horny, more so than I've ever been before. I want him, I always want him, but especially now when he's touching me. I can't think when he's touching me.

"I don't mind." I breathe, trying to sound normal. I don't want to be turned on right now, especially with his son in the backseat.

"Gail and Taylor usually watch the kids. They don't live too far, I'll leave you their number. If you need anything for any reason, call them first and then call me."

"Okay. I will." I really don't think I will, Taylor is a police officer, the towns chief of police to be exact. It frightens me enough when he comes into the restaurant to see Gail.

"Maybe we'll stay in Seattle instead. It's safer there anyway and you'll be closer to me. We can go Friday and come back Sunday morning."

"Whatever is fine, I don't work this weekend."

Christian gently massages my thigh, his hand moving higher and higher up. His thumb rubs the inside of my thigh and causes my panties to dampen. I have to bite my lip to keep my thoughts in check, but really I just want to jump him right now. Why am I so horny all of a sudden? Is it because he's a sex-god?

He smirks when I squirm in my seat. He knows exactly what he's doing.

When arrive home, well, Christian's home... Christian carries Teddy inside and to his room.

I head to Christian's room and wait for him in bed. I have no idea why I want this so badly tonight, we've had sex nearly every night since I've been staying with him and almost every morning if Teddy is still sleeping when we wake. I'm already naked and waiting, nearly panting in anticipation when he finally walks into the room.

He smirks when he sees that I'm already naked. I love when he undresses me, but I'm not in the mood to wait tonight.

Christian takes off his shirt and pants on the way to the bed.

I kneel up, so I'm level with him, start kissing him and running my hand along the length of him. I can feel how hard he's becoming and it's even more arousing. I'm so wet for him.

He moans against my mouth, running his hands all over my body.

Looping my hands on the inside of his boxer briefs, I tug them down. He steps out of them and gently pushes me back onto the bed.

Once I'm laying down, he crawls on top of me, kissing his way up. I'm so glad I don't freak out with him anymore.

He stops at my sex, pushes his nose into me and inhales deeply.

"Mmmm, baby, you smell delicious."

The next thing I know, he's attacking me. He holds me under my knees so my legs are spread wide for him and then he runs his tongue along my slit. My body immediately reacts, Christian is very skilled at sex.

I'm enjoying the feel of him, licking, sucking, nibbling. Then he adds his fingers to the mix and begins rubbing me hard. My hips naturally move on their own. I have one hand fisted in the sheets and the other in his hair. I'm so close. And then he does the unthinkable; he smacks the side of my ass and I about lose it.

"Oh my god!"

"Fuck!" He whispers, pulling away from me just as I was on the edge of release.

"No!" I shout upset that I didn't get off. "Christian!"

"I'm sorry, baby." He quickly crawls up my body so we're eye to eye, obviously mistaking my arousal for something else.

"Don't stop, Christian! I was almost there!"

"What?"

"Christian, I was about to freaking cum and you pulled away. Why?!"

"I-" He blinks dumbfounded. "I lost control."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been done with that lifestyle for awhile now, but it's still deep within me. It arouses me, but I know your past and I didn't mean to."

"Christian, what the heck are you talking about?" _We didn't do anything BDSM related, did we?_

"I spanked you."

"I'd hardly call that a spanking. And it turned me on too. I liked it."

"What?" Now he really looks confused.

"I know I wouldn't be able to do half of what you're use to, but it would be interesting to try some of the kinky things. I've looked up things online at the library, and... to be honest, some of it really scared me, but other things looked interesting. You said you were a dominant so you would know how to do it without going too far, right. And I'd only ever want to do this with you."

"Ana," He shakes his head. "I- I don't really know what to say. Yes, I'm aroused by that, but I'm done with that lifestyle. And you- Well..."

"It's okay, just forget it."

"No," He sits up so he's kneeling between my legs. "Baby, if you want to add spankings to our sex life, I'll gladly turn your ass a delectable shade of pink with my hand, plenty of couples play, but are you sure you want to do this?"

"I know the difference," I say, knowing he's cautious about my past. "You explained it to me and I... I want you to fuck me harder."

"Baby." He groans with a growl, then crashes his lips to mine. "If it's too much, just say so and I'll stop. I might get a little excited."

I giggle at him but stop when he suddenly flips me over so I'm laying on my stomach.

"On your hands and knees." He commands me, grabbing my hips and helping me get into position. His voice is a lot gentler than I thought a dominant would sound. Not that he's being a dominant right now, he's my lover, but he still has that commanding tone in his voice, almost CEO firm, to let me know he's in control and powerful. It's different, and hard to explain. I can hear his adoration but also his dominance in the tone he's using.

Once I'm on my hands and knees, he begins rubbing my ass with both of his hands.

"Christian." I moan, squirming with need.

I don't know what to expect, but I thought he would get right into spanking me. Instead, I feel his tongue on me again.

"Christian." I moan louder as a gush of wetness leaks out of me.

He keeps his mouth on my sex, moaning and working his tongue. I finally feel him smack my ass. It's not hard, like he's testing the waters, but it's just as arousing as when he did it before.

He continues to lick and suck, smacking my ass randomly.

"Oh god." I push my ass back further and spread my legs wider for him.

"Mmmmm." He moans against my sex. "You taste delicious, baby."

Another smack to my ass that leaves me wet and wanting more.

He pulls away just as I'm about to cum. I growl into the mattress and grasp the sheets. This is the second time he's stopped right when I was on the edge of falling into oblivion.

"I can't wait to devour you." He starts to kiss my ass, continuing up to the small of my back. "I can't wait to be inside of you."

Hearing the familiar sound of a foil packet being opened gets me wet. I'm so ready for this.

I push back against him when I feel the head of his dick touch my entrance, but he smacks my ass again.

"Don't move."

"Yes, sir." I purr, knowing that dominant men like to be referred to as such. I looked it up. I also saw that Dominants like to be referred to as Master, but I don't think I could ever call him that. While playing, I can definitely call him Sir. But only while playing.

"Oh fuck, Ana." Without further ado, he thrusts inside of me until he's buried deep.

I moan loudly at the feel of him. It's the fastest he's ever entered me and I feel all of him so deep inside of me.

"You want me to fuck you, baby?" He asks, pulling out slowly.

"Yes." I beg.

He smacks my ass again before he thrusts back inside, slow this time.

"Hard?" He asks, circling his hips this time.

"Oh, yes."

I moan when he pulls out slowly again, but when he thrusts back inside, I push back against him. It's torturously slow. He smacks my ass and reprimands me for moving.

With every strike of his hand on my ass, I get more aroused and the wetter I become. But he's moving so slowly, I thought he was going to be a bit rougher.

"Keep quiet and hold on." He warns me.

He pulls back slowly, just like he normally would, but when he pushes forward, he does it so hard and fast that I'm thrown forward.

I place my hands flat on his headboard to give me balance and control, then I push back onto him just as hard so I'm meeting him thrust for thrust.

He slams into me now, again and again, smacking my ass a few more times at random intervals. I'm never expecting it and every smack has me crying out in ecstasy. He checks that I'm okay but after the third time and my, "YES! YES! Just fuck me!" he continues without checking.

We move fast together, pounding relentlessly.

I'm so close, again, and he must feel it because he slams into me, reaches around and plays with my clit while he circles his hips again and again, grinding into me harder and harder.

"Christian!" I cry out, desperate for him to keep going so I can finally cum. "Please! Please, don't stop!"

"Cum for me, baby."

I cry out as a wave hits me hard and I convulse around him. My body is naturally milking him, squeezing tighter than before.

I'm clawing at the sheets trying desperately to get away and get closer at the same time. He grabs my hips and pushes in as deep as he can, so I can feel him cuming with me. He's now practically on top of me and pushing me into the mattress. I keep my back arched but I can barely move so it's all him.

"Ana." He calls my name.

When he's finished he pulls out and I collapse onto the bed, exhausted.

He didn't spank me like I saw online, he incorporated it into the sex. And the sex wasn't that rough, it was hard but gentle. I'd definitely add kinky sex to the list. I want to try more, explore more. And what better teacher than an ex-dominant.

"How do you feel?" Christian asks me.

I didn't even realize he had cleaned up. I'm still laying on my stomach as he lays beside me, now rubbing lotion on my behind.

"Amazing." I draw out the word.

"Your ass looks amazing." He compliments and then kisses my bottom. "Beautiful."

"I didn't expect it to be like that." I say, turning my head so I'm now facing him, resting my head on my crossed arms.

"It's because you trust me, baby. Though that spanking was done in a vanilla context, BDSM is... different." He says cautiously.

I'm starting to understand more and more, like even though Christian use to beat women, it wasn't abuse because they wanted it and were aroused by it. Though he didn't spank me very hard, or with any implement, I can see why they were turned on when he would do something like that to them. I could never go far with experimenting his old lifestyle, but I could enjoy a light spanking every now and then as well as a few sex toys.

"You're quite the kinky prince charming." I purr as I climb over and straddle him.

"Dark prince is more like it." He holds onto my hips as he eye fucks my naked body.

"My dark prince." I lean down and kiss him. "I can only imagine what more you could do to me."

"Mmmm." He moans as I kiss him again. "I could show you."

I giggle as he flips us over and begins to kiss me hard.

When will I wake up from this dream? When will this fairytale end? I don't know, but I hope it never does. I'm not ready to give this up. I'm not sure if I ever will be.

Being with Christian is like living in a dream.


	15. Her Fear

**Apov**

Apparently Christian forgot to mention that his birthday is coming up. Luckily a little birdie named Kate told me. I don't have much to spend on a gift, but I know he would like anything I get for him. I could just see him getting excited of the littlest thing. However, I don't even know _what_ to get him. Hopefully Kate can take me shopping so Christian doesn't know that I'm shopping for him. I'm sure he would try to stop me from spending any of my money on him if he knew and would give me his own money to spend. He thinks he's cleaver, sneaking money into my pockets, but I know it's his. I save it and use it towards everyday items we need at home.

Everything is perfect, my life is perfect. It's so relaxing, letting my guard down. I know I shouldn't let it down completely, and I don't, but it's easy to forget about my old life when I have Christian and Teddy.

Teddy is playing with Ava today at Kate's house because Christian wants to hang out with his brother while I'm at work. He said they were going to lift weights with Taylor and then go for a hike. I still shiver when I hear Taylor's name, any person of authority really. I like it just Christian, Teddy and I, but I love when Christian and I have alone time too. Hopefully Kate will keep Teddy long enough for Christian and I to have some alone time after I'm home from work.

Christian just dropped me off at the restaurant, we kissed each other for way too long and not enough before I finally walk inside.

I'm making sure the waitress station is fully stocked, just like I always do when I come in, when Lilly, the hostess approaches me.

"Hey, Ana," She smiles at me. "You're quite popular today."

"What do you mean?"

"Some guy called here earlier looking for you, and then a few minutes after that, another guy walked in asking about you. I'm not sure if it was the same guy or not, but I know it wasn't Christian."

"What?" I'm stunned by her comment, looking around the restaurant to see if anyone stands out.

What guy would call here looking for me? What guy would come here looking for me? I don't know or talk to anyone in town except the Greys and Lilly knows them.

"The guy who stopped in asking about you," She starts to explain. "I told him you weren't on the schedule until lunch. He said he'd come back when you're available. He talked a little weird so I don't think he was from around here."

 _Oh. My. God. No. Boyce? He found me? No!_

"Ana, are you okay?" Lilly asks me. "You look really pale."

"I- No. I don't feel well." And I really don't.

I run to the bathroom and make it inside a stall just in time to puke my guts out into the toilet.

I'm shaking so badly, I have to lean against the sink as I rinse my mouth out.

"Ana?" Lilly cautiously enters the bathroom. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay." _I hope_.

"Are you sure?"

"No." I whisper with tears in my eyes.

"Do you have the flu or something?"

"No." _If only it were that easy_.

Lilly looks like she just figured out what's going on, though whatever conclusion she just came up with, I know she's wrong.

"Are you pregnant?" She asks in shock.

"No." I assure her. "I'm just not feeling well. I really need to go. I have to leave."

"I'll ask one of the girls from the morning shift if they can cover for you." She gently rubs my arm. "Feel better soon. And maybe... take a pregnancy test. You never know. Contraception isn't 100% effective."

I nod and leave through the back employee entrance.

So I'm not seen, I hide behind the huge dumpster and pull the cell phone out of my pocket to call Christian. I need him! I can't risk it.

It rings twice before it's sent to voicemail. _Why isn't he answering?! He always answers my calls. He would never send them to voicemail!_

"Christian!" I panic, leaving a voice message. "Oh god, Christian. I think he found me. He's here, he came to the restaurant. I don't know what to do. I need you. I don't want to leave you and Teddy but he's here. Christian, please. Help me." My tears are falling so fast now and I can't stop shaking. I feel as if I'm going to be sick again. "I can't stay here. I'm leaving the restaurant, he's going to come back and you're not answering your phone. I don't know what to do. Your place is too far for me to walk without being seen so I'm going to mine. Please meet me there, please. I need you."

I hang up and try to call him again, but he doesn't answer. I contemplate calling Kate but she has Teddy and I don't want him mixed up in this mess or getting hurt.

My place is only a twenty minute walk from the restaurant, but if I run it wont take me that long to get there.

Taking a deep breath and trying not to puke again, I finally get up off the ground and venture out towards the parking lot.

I try to avoid the roadways as much as I can while I rush to my cottage.

I'm almost to the gravel road when I hear a car reeve up behind me.

I quickly turn around, nearly falling to the ground in panic. But as soon as I recognize the symbol for the black Audi SUV that I know is Christian's, I'm instantly relieved.

"Christian!" I shout as soon as he jumps out of the SUV. He must've heard my message.

I rush to him, but the cold glare on his face stops me in my tracks. He's never looked at me like that before.

"Christian?"

 **Cpov**

I've just pulled up at Taylor's house. He has an amazing in home gym that Elliot and I like to use when he has a day off. It's nice to have workout buddies now that I no longer use Claude, and when I lift I need someone to spot me. After we workout, we're going to head out for hike until Ana gets off work.

I was surprised when I told Gail and Taylor that I was moving and would no longer need their services that they followed me here. I never saw them as friends the five years they worked for me before Teddy arrived, only employees, but now they are like part of the family. Taylor had the qualifications to be a deputy and just last year was promoted to sheriff. It's nice to be able to still see them now that I consider them friends.

I walk into the house, Taylor knows I'm coming so the door is left open for me.

As I make my way to Taylor's in-home gym, I can hear Elliot and Taylor talking.

"What do you know about her?" I hear Taylor ask Elliot. "She seems to shy away whenever I come in the restaurant."

I stop before going inside the room when I realize they are talking about Ana. I stay out of sight so I can listen without them knowing I'm here.

"Not much," Elliot grunts, obviously lifting weights while he's talking. "She's pretty quiet, only talks to Christian, Teddy and Kate, and Kate wont tell me shit. All Kate will say is that she came here for a fresh start, whatever that means. Not even mom or Mia can get her to open up. "

"I'm not sure how much I trust her."

This has me on high alert.

Taylor has been my CPO for many years, he's had gut instincts before and he was always proved to be right. Elena for example. He never told me a damn thing to my face because I was his employer and he was my employee, I would've fired his ass. He had no say in who I had in my life, and turned a blind eye to all the submissives I've had in the past, with the exception of checking their background checks that Welch sent over. But I heard him talking to Gail about Elena one night. He said the same exact words; _I'm not sure how much I trust her_. Back then, I knew the reason he had that reaction and that it was true, he shouldn't trust her. Elena was a pedophile, though Taylor didn't know that, but he didn't like the vibe she gave off. She could manipulate and fool just about anyone, except for Taylor.

"Why's that?" Elliot asks, still grunting. I can just tell he's lifting more than he should. I'm not sure why, Kate's not here and he usually only does that shit to impress her.

"She comes out of nowhere and the only person she's comfortable with is your brother? Well know billionaire, CEO of GEH, Christian Grey. I'm not buying it."

"So why don't you do a background check on her," Elliot suggests. "Ya know, like the good ol' days when you were his security."

"I already have."

 _Shit!_

"And what'd you find out."

I quickly make myself known by walking into the room to stop their conversation.

I already know what he found, I had Welch ran a background check on Anastasia Rose Steele. But I also know that Ana doesn't want anyone to know her past, especially my family. She doesn't want them to judge her or our relationship. I've told her that her past has nothing to do with anything, but she insists nobody know.

I get that he worries, and even though he's no longer my CPO he can't just switch it off. That's why when he and Gail moved here, he decided to work with the police. There was no need for security and he has skills to be so much more. But he really has nothing to worry about where Ana is concerned, I know all about her past.

"Hey, bro!" Elliot is the first to see me. He's on the bench, lifting more than he should while Taylor spots him.

As soon as Taylor sees me, his face is impassive but I can see the guilt in his eyes. He knows I heard them talking. I'm not upset by anything he has said, he is only doing what he has done in the past; looking out for me. I'll have to talk with Ana later tonight, letting her know that Taylor ran the same background check on Anastasia Steele. After I talk with her, I can let Taylor know what happened.

"Grey, could you spot your brother for me?" Taylor asks me. "He thinks he's king shit, lifting this much and I need to grab my phone incase Gail calls. I left it in my office."

I know this is just a way for him to get out of the way until I've cooled down. I would normally go thermonuclear if someone, no matter their intentions, was in my business. Taylor is no longer my CPO so my business is mine alone. However, I'm not upset and no way do I want to spot Elliot. I don't want my nuts in his face and the only face I want near my balls is Ana's.

"I'll grab it," I offer, knowing he'll want a minute.

"Grey-" Taylor hesitates, obviously not wanting me in his office. Probably because Anastasia's background check is in there.

"I know." I say to him, hinting that I do, in fact, know about Ana.

I don't want to talk about this with Elliot around so I shift my eyes towards my brother and back to Taylor. I shake my head once, letting Taylor know that I don't want Elliot to know.

Taylor nods and goes back to spotting my brother, who is oblivious to our silent exchange.

That's the nice thing about Taylor and I, we can communicate without words, we've done this many times before.

I leave them then go to Taylor's home office.

Taylor is usually a pretty organized guy so it doesn't take long for me to find his phone sitting right on top of his desk. Sure enough, Anastasia's background check is under his phone.

I've seen it before, and I'll have a talk with him about it after I tell Ana he knows, so ignore it.

As I'm about to leave the room, his fax machine goes off and the paper being printed catches my eye, because it has a photo of Ana on it and it is definitely NOT a background check of Dakota nor Anastasia.

 _Is this what Taylor found about her? Is this why he doesn't trust her?_

After it's finished printing, I snatch the paper out of the tray to examine it further.

Not being able to believe what I'm looking at, I cover my mouth and rub my hand over it.

This can't be true, it can't be. I don't believe it. Yet here the paper is, in my hands, the black ink telling me it is.

 _She lied to me! She fucking lied and I believed her bullshit! I let her around my son, for fuck's sake!_

Speak of the devil. My phone goes off and it's her. I ignore it, not wanting to speak with her about this over the phone.

I have to go, I have to confront her about this.

Since I'll need the paper as proof, I fold it in half and put it in my back pocket. Before I leave the room, grab Taylor's phone so I can bring it to him.

I storm back to where Taylor and Elliot are so I can give Taylor his phone before I leave.

"You alright, Grey?" Taylor asks me. He's known me for years and knows when something isn't right.

"Fine." I hand over his phone. "But I have to go."

"You just got here, bro." Elliot complains. He has finally finished lifting his ridiculous amount of weights and has moved on to another machine.

"I know, but I have to deal with something important."

"Grey," Taylor calls to me before I can leave. "I didn't mean anything by it." He says of what I overheard.

I just nod and leave, not in the mood to talk to them. I need to see Ana.

Without another word, I walk out, marching towards my SUV.

I make it to the restaurant in record time.

I don't see Ana around so she must be in the back, but before I can make it back there to check, Lilly tells me Ana already left.

"What do you mean, she left?" I growl so I don't snap at the poor girl.

"She wasn't feeling well." I think Lilly is a fucking sadist because she gives me the creepiest fucking smile when she tells me this.

 _Why the fuck would she be smiling about someone being ill?_

Ana was feeling fine this morning, does she leave work early everyday and then come back before I pick her up? She stopped working doubles since staying with me, who knows, maybe she stopped working all together since I'm paying for everything.

 _You wanted her to stop working, Grey,_ my subconscious reminds me, _she was the one to insist she continue working._

 _Yeah, to play the part so I wouldn't suspect anything._

I leave the restaurant, heading back to my SUV.

I sit in the parking lot, contemplating where she could go. She doesn't have a car so wherever she went would have to be within walking distance from the restaurant. The only place I can think of is my house, but I doubt she'd walk there. She's supposed to be 'working', she wouldn't want me to know she's been skipping out. Not to mention, it's quite the distance from the restaurant, she wouldn't be back in time.

The only other place I can think of is her run-down shack. I'll try there first, if she's not there and I can't find her, I'll call her.

As I'm driving toward her piece of shit shack, I see her running.

Laughing, I shake my head at her. _Why are you running, Anastasia?_

I speed up to catch her. She turns around looking scared, _so she should be_.

I hop out and march toward her.

"Christian!" She acts relieved, I'm sure she's going to come up with some excuse as to why she's not at work, but then sees that I'm not pleased.

"Christian?"

"What the fuck is this?" I ask her getting right to it, taking out the paper I got from Taylor's office.

"I don't- I don't know."

She's looks upset and, to her credit, she doesn't look well as Lilly said.

"You don't know?" I don't believe her in the slightest so I begin to tell her what the flyer is, "It's a special bulletin for a person of interest. It says you are a suspect for murder, first degree."

She reaches for the paper in question so I hand it to her.

Her face pales as she reads the words _WANTED FOR MURDER_ at the top with her picture in the center and the name _Dakota Fox_ written in bold letters at the bottom.

"Where did you get this?"

I roll my eyes and scoff at her.

"Taylor's office. He knows you're not Anastasia Steele."

"What?"

"What is this, Ana? Who did you kill?"

"Christian." She shakes her head at me. "It's not what you think."

"Why don't you tell me what I'm supposed to think then, because I see your picture on a wanted sign saying you're a suspect for murder."

"You can't believe this."

"Why can't I?" It's an official wanted flyer from the fucking police department in Detroit. At least she wasn't lying about everything she told, she's from Detroit and her name is Dakota.

"It's not real, I can explain."

"Explain?" I laugh. "Explain how a police department in Detroit is issuing a nationwide manhunt for you? You think that just happens by accident?"

"Boyce did this." She sounds desperate for me to believe her lie.

"He can't have the police issue a murder warrant because his wife went missing, you're insulting my intelligence, you'd have to actually commit the crime. A missing person's report, I could see. But murder?"

"He did this, Christian, you have to believe me. I don't know why he sent this and not a missing person's report, I'm not in his fucked up mind, I don't know why he does the things he does." She looks around wildly, up and down the street. "And he's here, he's looking for me, he's going to find me."

"Yeah," I laugh again. "I bet 'Boyce' is here looking for you."

 _She's making it up, only saying he's here because she knows that I know. There's no way anyone could find her here unless she told them she's here_. If he knew she was here, why would he send out a wanted flyer instead of actually approaching her. If this was fake, it'd be easily explained away, and it wouldn't have made it passed the Detroit police department to be sent out. There are procedures in place that he would have to bypass and getting passed that is difficult. He'd be arrested, it's not worth the risk.

"You lied to me," I accuse her. "You said your husband abused you so you ran away."

"He did abuse me! He hit me all the time."

"Yet you jump at the chance for me to spank you and rough sex." I correct her.

She gasps, knowing I'm right.

This is Elena all over again. Nothing but lies and manipulation to get me to do what she wants. I can't believe I fell for this shit again, no wonder Taylor doesn't trust her. How can I be so fucking blind?!

"You were lying about having an abusive husband to cover the fact that you were hiding something much bigger, like murdering a man. That's why you were running back to your shack, isn't it? What, did you find out a warrant was issued so you thought you'd leave without saying anything before I found out? Who did you kill?"

"I didn't kill anybody!" She shouts at me. "As awful as it sounds, I admit I wish I did. After everything he did to me, all the makeup I had to wear to cover the bruises, the dark sunglasses I had to wear when he'd give me a black eye, the scarfs I had to wear to hide his hand prints around my throat, the cardigans I had to wear during warm months, all the trips to the hospital because **I** 'fell'... the list goes on and on. I wish everyday that I had killed him that night, maybe then I wouldn't be scared out of my mind that he'll find me and finish the job, but when I left he was still alive!"

"Bullshit!" I call. "How'd you leave if he was still alive?"

"He was passed out drunk when I left, that's how I was able to get away from him! I told you that! I told you everything!"

"I trusted you!" I shout louder, ignoring her excuses. "I let you into my life! I let you around my son! What am I supposed to tell him?!"

She opens her mouth to spew more lies, but I interrupt her before she can say anything.

"How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"

"Christian, you can't do this to me, not now. Please." She begs, on the verge of tears. "I need you, Christian, I need you."

In her last ditch effort to get me to believe her bullshit, she starts crying. It almost works, I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything will be okay. But the truth is staring at me in the face. She's wanted for murder. I can't have this or her around Teddy, I have to think of him, so I slip back into my Dom persona that I abandoned long ago.

"Don't start with the fucking water works now."

"He's going to find me." She continues to cry. "Please!"

I can't look at her any longer, my Dom persona isn't as strong as I remembered him to be. He's weak and he's slipping.

"Then you'd better leave." I'm able to sound more Dominant when I'm not looking at her but I sound more cold then I intended.

"What?" She gasps in disbelief.

"You better go." I repeat, pointing to the paper that is still in her hand as I back away from her. "You better go before Taylor sees that."

I turn around without a backwards glance and walk to my SUV.

"Christian?" She gasps again, this time it sounds strangled, like she can't believe what I just did. Well I can't believe what she did either so we're even.

I try not to look at her or in her direction once I'm back in my SUV, though I do see she's fallen to the ground now. She has both of her hands in her hair, holding her head. Her whole body is shaking from crying. I have to hold myself back from taking her in my arms and comforting her. She fucking lied to me. _Bullshit_ the police would send out fake wanted posters if it wasn't real just because her husband was looking for her. He can't do that shit, he's a fucking writer.

I put the SUV in reverse and back away from her. The only girl I've ever wanted more from.

She finally gets up off the ground and takes off running in the direction of her shack.

I did the right thing, I tell myself, I gave her a chance to leave without being arrested.

Then why does this hurt so much? Why does it feel wrong to let her go? Why do I want to go after her?

"Fuck!" I shout and hit my steering wheel hard.


	16. His Realization

**Cpov**

"Welch, get me a background check on Boyce Fox." I say as soon as he answers then hang up and continue driving towards that piece of shit shack in the middle of nowhere.

 _Please be there, baby_.

It only took me a second to realize how badly I reacted to this wanted sign fiasco, and how royally I fucked up with Ana. I'm still unsure about the wanted sign, it's a legitimate wanted poster from the police department in Detroit after all, and Ana has been secretive since she arrived in town, but I've spent the past month or so with her, I don't think she would lie to me. I don't want to believe it, but it's staring my in the face saying she's lying. Yet something doesn't feel right about this.

I was so cold towards her when I found that wanted sign, but my first thought was about Teddy and keeping him away from it. But then I realized that when Ana told me her abusive husband was looking for her and wanted to kill her, Teddy was already involved. I would do anything to protect my son, and I feel the same about Ana, yet I told her to leave instead of trying to help her figure this mess out.

I don't care that she killed someone, I'll help her work through it. If she did this, I can talk to my dad, he can help her. I would do anything for her, all she has to do is tell me the truth. I can and will help her, she has to know that. Yet I jumped to conclusions and told her to leave like the dumbass I am when it's obvious she's scared of something, whether it be her husband or the police. But it doesn't explain why she doesn't trust Taylor if it were about her husband, it makes more sense for her to avoid him for this reason; because she killed someone.

She said she stabbed her husband that night, maybe she killed him and she just doesn't know. After all, she said he was passed out when she left, she didn't see him wake up.

Whatever happened, I need to know. And she needs to know that I will help her, that I overreacted, and that I'm sorry.

I wasn't far so I arrive at her place in record time.

I jump out of my SUV and storm up the porch, not even bothering to walk up the two steps there. The door is cracked so I push it open enough for me to enter.

"Ana!"

I look everywhere, her only bedroom, the small bathroom, but she's no where to be found.

"Fuck!"

I'm too late, she's already gone.

The only place I can think she'd go would be the bus station; to catch another bus to only god knows where.

As I rush back to my SUV, I see that the ground is disturbed near her door. _Is this signs of a struggle? Did she fall? Is she hurt?_

I start driving in the direction of the bus station, and as I do, I play the message on my phone she left me.

 _"Christian!"_ I hear the panic in her tone, nothing but sheer terror as I listen to the voicemail. _"Oh god, Christian. I think he found me. He's here, he came to the restaurant. I don't know what to do. I need you. I don't want to leave you and Teddy but he's here. Christian, please. Help me. I can't stay here. I'm leaving the restaurant, he's going to come back and you're not answering your phone. I don't know what to do. Your place is too far for me to walk without being seen so I'm going to mine. Please meet me there, please. I need you."_

Listening to this message and how terrified she is, it's tearing my heart out.

 _"Christian, you can't do this to me, not now. Please."_ She said to me. _"I need you, Christian, I need you."_ Yet I told her to stop crying and leave.

She needed me, more so than she ever has before, and I basically told her she's on her own.

She's never going to forgive me for this, even if I do find her.

If I can't find her, if I don't get to her in time before she leaves to parts unknown, I'll have no way of ever finding her and this will be the only thing I have left of her. This message will be what I hear as I play it back over and over just to hear her voice. I'll hear how she needed me and remember how I basically told her to fuck off and deal with it herself. After I told her she had nothing to be afraid of anymore, that I would always be there for her, that I would protect her, I'm the one who fucked her over. I trusted her, but she trusted me too.

My only hope is that I can find her before it's too late and that I can somehow convince her to hear my apology out, and then get to the bottom of this wanted for murder shit the right way instead of overreacting and throwing shit in her face. God, I'm such a fuck up. Fifty Shades of fucked up.

 **Apov**

I finally make it back to my cottage in the woods, falling to the ground only a few feet from the front porch, seeming as though I've cried every last tear I possibly had in me.

I needed Christian, he promised me he would never leave me, he said I was safe with him, and yet he believed that stupid wanted sign.

I should've known better than to trust another man. I guess that's my own stupid fault for believing him and finally letting my walls down, but I thought I was safe with him. I felt safe with him, I never thought he'd do this to me. I know I could've avoided this pain, that it was bound to happen, if I just stayed away from Christian, but I wouldn't change the past few weeks with him for anything. If only for a little while, I had that perfect fairytale love I've always read about.

He was so angry, I can't believe the same man who has been so sweet and caring could sound so cold when he told me to leave. It's better this way, I never belonged with Christian, he and Teddy deserve someone so much better in their lives. I knew it would come to this eventually, I knew I would have to leave them. But I didn't expect it to hurt this much.

I nearly fall up the steps of my new front porch, trying to get up. I have nothing left, but I need just enough strength to continue going. I have to leave before he sees me.

I get up again, only to trip and fall on the porch itself. My body is still shaking with adrenaline.

Holding myself as I lay down in front of my door, I stare at the sky, watching the clouds move.

I don't want to do this anymore, I'm tired of running, I just want this to be over! Maybe I should just let Boyce take me, my fate is already decided for me, I might as well get it over with. He's never going to stop and I have nothing left, no energy, nothing to live for anymore. I'm done. I'm just done. I'll just lay here until he comes for me.

"No." I say to myself. "Get up. You can do this, you have to keep going."

With every last bit of energy I have left, I make my way inside.

Most of my clothes and belongings are at Christian's house, but I still have my emergency bag here, just incase. It's all I need, I've had less than this before. It makes me glad I didn't let my guard completely down and continued to save my money. I may have been spending more than I normally would, but that was because I thought I was staying for good. Thankfully before I met Christian I would put most of my tips in this bag so I had enough money to run if needed and I haven't touched it.

I grab my bag from it's hiding spot and then begin walking through the woods to avoid the roads. I know I can't avoid them all the way to the bus station, but I'll try to avoid at least the main roads as much as possible.

Eventually, I have to travel on a road. It's a side road with not much traffic, but with every car that passes by me it causes my heart to race and nearly pound out of my chest.

I'm trying not to cause attention to myself, as much as I want to run, so I'm walking at an extremely fast pace. I have to get to the bus station. If I can get there, everything will be okay and I'll be gone, away from this town and everyone in it. I'll have to stop using the name Anastasia Steele, so when I get wherever this bus will take me, I'll look up obituaries in the library and find a new name, just like I did here.

I've been on the run for some time now so I know I can continue to run. And that's what I plan to do. Run. For the rest of my life. I don't need to live, I just need to survive.

As I walk, I dig through my bag to find the blonde wig I use when I leave some place, thinking maybe he wont stop if he sees a blonde. I should've gotten it out sooner, but I'm not thinking straight. All I can think about is Christian and what he said to me... But, before I can pull the blonde wig out, someone calls my attention.

"Ana!"

I look around hearing my name. It's only now that I realize I'm passing by a park and I see Kate, Mia, Ava, ... and Teddy.

Teddy was the one who called my name, he looks excited to see me but I can't stop, I have to keep going.

I'm sure Christian will explain to his son why I'm no longer around, hopefully not saying anything badly about me in the process. I wish I could tell Teddy something myself, but I wouldn't even know what to say and I know Christian wouldn't like it with what he believes I am now. Plus, it would be too hard. Not only to explain to a four year old that we'll never see each other again, but for me too.

The tears that I thought had stopped come flowing down my cheeks again at full force. There's no ending this pain.

I hear someone running up behind me so quickly turn around.

Relief runs through my body when I see Kate. Mia is still at the park with Teddy and Ava, she's looking curious on in our direction. Teddy looks like he wants to come over here too but Mia wont let him go, she's holding him back.

I look back at Kate when she's finally reached me.

"Hey," Kate frowns when she sees the state I'm in. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I wipe my face. "I just have to go."

I turn back around and continue to walk. Staying here and talking to her is wasting too much time, and my time is very limited with Boyce here.

"Ana," She grabs me, stopping me from walking and turning me to face her. "Where are you going?"

"I have to leave."

"Leave?" She asks surprised yet knowing the meaning behind it.

I nod, trying to control my tears. I've grown attached to, not only Christian and Teddy, but Kate too. She's a good friend. I don't want to say goodbye to them, this is the reason I kept to myself. It hurt enough when I had to leave grandma and grandpa in Detroit, but it had to be done. Just like now. I don't have a choice.

"Does Christian know?" Kate asks me.

"Who do you think told me to leave?"

"What?!" Kate shouts, clearly upset. "Why?"

I shake my head not wanting to say.

Kate looks just as sad as I do. "Where are you going to go?"

"It doesn't matter," I shake my head again. "I never really belonged here."

In the distance, behind Kate, I see a car speeding towards us.

Again, my heart leaps out of my chest thinking it's him, but when I see it's Christian's black Audi, that feeling in my stomach worsens. I think I'm going to be sick again.

He's probably coming to yell at me for daring to talk to his family. Or maybe he changed his mind about 'turning me in' and is going to bring me to Taylor. The only way to prove that wanted sign isn't real is if they called the police department in Detroit, and if he wasn't already here, that would be the worse thing they could do. It would be like a death sentence. I have to leave before Christian does something like that.

"I have to go." I tell Kate.

"Wait," Kate says but I ignore her and quickly start walking away before Christian can reach us.

Behind me, I hear the SUV screech to a stop. His door opens, but I don't hear it close.

"Ana!" Christian calls for me a second later.

"What the hell, Christian," I hear Kate growl at him. "You better not h-"

"Not now, Katherine!" He snaps back.

I hear him running up behind me now so I start running too. I just don't want to hear anymore from him.

"Ana, wait!"

We continue to run but he is so much faster than I am, and I'm carrying extra weight with my bag, so it doesn't take him long to catch up with me.

He grabs my arm, making me stop and turns me around. We're further away from Kate and the park now so they can't hear us, but it's still pretty close so they can still see us.

"What, Christian?!" I ask him frustrated. "I'm leaving, just like you said I should."

"I don't want you to leave-"

"Funny, it sounded as if you wanted me to when you said those exact words." I interrupt him.

"I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean it."

I'm taken back by what he says.

"What, did you find out that I wasn't lying so you decided to run back to me so all could be forgiven?"

"I didn't find out anything, Ana. I want to know what's going on. I want the truth."

"I _have_ told you the truth, Christian, I've _never_ lied to you. It's not my fault that _you_ are the one who doesn't believe _me._ _I_ trusted _you!_ Do you know how hard it was for me to trust you, to trust man again? I told you the truth and you still didn't believe me. He hurt me! He kept hurting me! He wouldn't stop so I ran. That is the truth!"

"I just don't understand the wanted sign." He runs his hands through his hair.

"My husband is a cop, that's how he could do that, that's why it was a legit wanted sign." I explain. "And that's why calling the police and reporting him did nothing but earn me another slap across my face or a kick to my ribs. His buddies all turned a blind eye."

"You said he was a writer, I don't understand."

"I said we bonded over books, that he was trying to become a published author," I correct him. "I never told you his career."

"Let me talk to Taylor, he'll know wh-"

"No!"

"He can help," Christian assures me. "I trust him."

"Like you trusted me?"

"Ana..."

"Let's face it, Christian, I'm just a young, stupid, naïve girl who believes the lies a man tells her. Like when one says he will never hurt me and will always be there for me. That I don't have to run anymore, that I don't have to be afraid anymore. And that if I stayed here, the safest place in the world is in his arms."

"Ana," He knows I'm talking about him and not Boyce. "I'm sorry. I overreacted. It's just, I saw that paper and my thoughts ran away from me. I was thinking about Teddy's safety."

"I know." Deep down I can't be that upset with him. He had in his hand an official wanted flyer from a police department- it wasn't some makeshift sign made with crayons and colored pencils- saying I was a murderer, and he has his 4 year old son to think about. If the situation were reversed, and I found a wanted sign of him, and Teddy were my baby, I would protect my child. I know he was confused and only trying to figure things out, but he went about it the wrong way.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't believe you, baby."

"I know you're sorry, Christian, he was sorry too. He was sorry, you are sorry, everyone is always sorry all the damn time! I'm so sick of the word sorry!"

"Don't." He stops me. "Don't compare me to him, Anastasia, you know we're nothing alike. I'm truly sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly. There was no way for me to know that your husband was a cop who has the capability of producing this sign because you never told me. It was a legitimate wanted sign, the only way to prove that flyer's authenticity would be if I talked to Taylor. And even if he didn't arrest you, he would've contacted the police department in Detroit to ask them. And with you saying your husband is a cop, that wouldn't have been a very good idea."

"You could've asked me." I counter. "And when I told you the truth, you could've believed me. I've never given you a reason not to trust me."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He sighs, saying the word 'sorry' again after what I just said about it. "Like I said, I overreacted and wasn't thinking clearly."

"It doesn't matter-"

"It does matter." He interrupts, correcting me. "I should've listened to you."

"Yes," I bite back, "You should have."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know you don't want to hear it, but I regret my actions immensely."

"You hurt me, Christian." I cry, no longer able to hold it back. "I needed you and you just left me to fend for myself. You said I was safe with you, you said I didn't have to be afriad anymore... and stupid me, I believed you. Only for you to turn your back on me when I need you the most. You're the liar here, not me. But it doesn't matter, you were right to want me to leave. I'm not good for you, I'm not good for Teddy."

"What?" He breathes like I've knocked the wind out of him. "Why do you think that? How can you possibly think that?"

"Let's face it, Christian, this was bound to happen, we both know it, I'm not right for you. You were right to want me to leave, you were right."

"No, baby, I'm not."

I want to believe him. But my dreams of being with him, of being happy, were just that... dreams. My reality is much darker, and more of a nightmare.

I'm so tired of running, I'm so tired of being afraid, I don't want to do this anymore, I so badly want to just give up. But I know I can't. I have to keep going. I have to leave. And if I want to protect Christian and Teddy, and myself, it's better if I'm not in their life at all so I might as well leave now.

It's so hard to stop my tears from falling, but I wipe my eyes and take a determined step back while shaking my head.

"Ana, don't." He knows what I'm doing.

"I have to."

"You can't." He croaks.

I swallow hard and with very little resolve, I turn around and walk away from him.

"No!" He grabs me and turns me around. "You can't go, Ana, you can't. I-" He pauses. "I don't want you to go."

"I can't stay." I back away from him so he's no longer holding me. Him touching me is making my mind fuzzy, I can't think when he's touching me.

"Ana, please. I'm sorry." He says again, desperately this time. "I can't lose you. Stay. Please. Stay with me."

"I can't." I whisper, shaking my head. "He found me, he's here, he's always going to find me. I can't put you and your family through that, I realize that now more than ever- after you told me to leave- how hard it is just to say goodbye. I shouldn't have gotten involved with you or them in the first place, I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it, I finally felt alive for the first time in my life. I'm the one who should be sorry. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay here... He's never going to let me go."

"I'm not going to let him hurt you." He takes a hesitant step towards me. I can tell he wants to hold me but he's unsure if I will allow him. "I know I fucked up, I can't excuse what I did or what I said. But please, forgive me."

I shake my head. I can't. I have to leave. I have to protect him and Teddy. There's no other choice.

"You can't go, Ana, I love you!" He shouts at me.

I think I'm in shock. _Did he just admit that he loves me?_

"I'm in love with you." He says much more steady and clear.

"Christian, if you're just saying that so I wont leave-"

"I'm not," He interjects, "I'm saying it because I finally found the one person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. I never thought that would happen for me. I love you, Ana, and Teddy adores you as well. It's the reason I turned my ass around and came after you before I had all the facts. I love you."

 _He loves me? He's in love with me?_

My heart flutters in a way it never has before.

"Please, tell me you feel the same way, because I know you love me, Ana, I know you do."

"Yes," I whisper my admission. "I do. I do love you, Christian, I've wanted to tell you so many times but I was afraid. But just because you say you love me, it doesn't excuse what you did."

"I know." He's looking at me like I'm a wounded animal and will run if he makes any sudden movements.

As I think about it, I realize even though he was harsh, his reaction was understandable. Maybe not totally, he could've believed me instead of telling me to leave, but I can understand why he reacted the way that he did with the evidence presented.

He looks so vulnerable waiting for me to say or do something, I even think he's holding his breath. And even though he was so cold, I find myself forgiving him.

I finally take a step towards him and he's quick to grab me.

"Oh, baby." He croons as he finally takes me into his arms.

He kisses the top of my head multiple times before he rests his cheek on my head.

"You're not going?" He checks.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No!" He tightens his hold on me. "I meant it when I said you're safe with me, I did. I'm never going to let you go again. I love you, I love you."

"I love you, too, Christian."

A car drives passed us and it causes me to tense up, thinking it's Boyce.

"What is it?"

"I'm just so scared, Christian." I cry, fisting his shirt.

"I know." He kisses the top of my head again. "But you don't have to be scared anymore, I promise. Let me fix this."

With his arm still wrapped around me, he tilts my chin up so he's looking into my eyes. I close my eyes when he leans down and presses his lips to mine.

"I'm sorry, baby," He whispers against my lips. "I'm so sorry."

I let him hold me but I pull away before he can deepen the kiss when another car drives by.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"He's here."

"Who?"

"You know who." I don't really want to say his name anymore than I have to. "Lilly said a man come to the restaurant looking for me. I don't know anybody here, with the exception of you and your family, but she knows all of you... who else could it be?"

"Let's go find out." He suggests like a crazy person.

"Christian, no!" I quickly back away from him.

"Yes." He grabs my hand and pulls me closer. "I told you, I'm not going to let him hurt you."

"What if he hurts you, or Teddy? I would never forgive myself for bringing this mess onto you and your family."

"Hey," He cups my face, putting some of my hair behind my ear. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." I say without hesitation. It's more than I can say for him though. He didn't believe me about the wanted poster.

"Then trust me."

I nod and let him take control of the situation.

We walk back to his SUV and he opens the door for me to get in. He tells Kate and Mia to keep Teddy for a little longer but to go back to Kate's house. Mia doesn't know what's going on but Kate immediately agrees. Relief runs through me as I see them putting Teddy safely into the back of Kate's car.

Once Christian is in his SUV with me, he drives back to the restaurant.

Just as he pulls into the parking lot, his phone goes off.

"That'll be what I need." He says cryptically as he parks and grabs his phone.

"What is?"

"Do you want to come in with me?" He asks, ignoring my question.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Then I want to you to stay in the car, DO NOT get out for any reason, do you understand me?"

"What if-"

"Stay. In. The. Car." He says each word clearly. "I mean it. I'm leaving the keys with you, if anything happens, leave."

"Christian..." _I'm so worried, so scared_.

"Do you want me to take you home first?"

I rapidly shake my head no, I couldn't stand waiting any longer to find out.

"Lock the doors," He says as he opens his.

"He has a gun," I warn him.

"I'll be fine." He assures me. "Baby, I can't apologize enough for how I acted early."

I nod again in understanding.

He gives me a chaste kiss then gets out, telling me he'll be right back.

As soon as he shut his door, I lock them all and lower myself in the seat. Even though the SUV windows are tinted and nobody can see clearly inside, I'm not taking any chances.

I keep looking over the rim of the door, around the parking lot, for anything out of place.

Thankfully Christian left the keys in the ignition. I may not know how to drive or ever gotten my license, but it can't be that hard to figure it out.

My heart is about to beat right out of my chest, he's taking too long, but as soon as I see Christian coming back outside I instantly calm down.

I unlock the door for him and then lock them back once he's inside.

"Well?" I ask impatient to know what he did.

"It's not him, he was never here."

"How do you know?"

"I showed Lilly a photo of Boyce, she said it wasn't him and then pointed out the man asking about you."

"What are you talking about? How do you have Boyce's picture? And she pointed out the guy asking about me? He's here? I don't know anyone here. Who was it?"

"It was Don from my mother's salon. He said you and him mentioned something about apple pie the next time he came in." He tells me of the hairdresser. "And, well... I have Boyce's background check now. I asked for it after I found out your real last name... but I haven't looked at it yet, I just used his photo. I wont look at it if you don't want me to, I don't need it. I trust you."

"It doesn't matter, I know you're curious. But it's only a matter of time before he finds me here."

"Baby, I'm telling you, there is no way he is going to be able to find you unless you personally tell him where you are."

My stomach is still churning and I want to vomit again. Not to mention all the anxiety I've just been through and the adrenaline now leaving my body. I'm exhausted. And I don't want to talk about this anymore.

"I don't feel well." I tell Christian.

"Let's get you home so you can rest." I can tell he feels bad about what happened earlier. So he should.

He starts the SUV and pulls out of the parking lot, heading towards his house, all while holding my hand like I'm going to disappear if he lets go.

"If you want, we can go to Seattle and stay at Escala for a few days until the dust settles and you're more comfortable being here again."

"I have to work." I remind him, regardless of the fact that I was leaving moments earlier.

"I'll talk to Mia about giving you some time off. I'm sure she'll understand."

I consider his suggestion and tell him I'll think about it. The truth is, I don't want to be here right now, I want to leave, but I don't want to leave him. I guess Seattle is a good option.

As Christian drives us home, I really start to feel unwell, more so than earlier. If he doesn't hurry home, I may ask him to pull over.

Since Lilly mentioned a guy asking about me, my stomach has been flipping and flopping all over the place. And the thought of Boyce being anywhere near me... or Teddy...

Oh god. I'm going to be sick.

"Christian," I try to breath through it.

He senses my need and quickly pulls over.

I jump out and puke my guts out on the side of the road.

He's quick to come around and hold my hair for me as my stomach empties, even though there's nothing in it and I'm dry heaving.

Christian asks multiple times if I'm okay, and I tell him I'm fine, even though I'm not.

 _Fuck you, Boyce Fox! Fuck you and your haunting me!_


	17. Her Intruder

**Cpov**

It's been a week since I fucked things up. I've been trying to prove to Ana that I do trust her and show her how much I love her. I can't apologize enough and I can't be thankful enough that she forgave my foolish behavior, but I know it still hurt her to hear the things I said to her in anger when I didn't understand what was going on.

I'm reminded of something my grandfather told me when I was younger because of my temper. He said, 'when you say things in anger to the person you love, it leaves permanent marks on their heart, and no amount of apologies can change that.' He said, 'that saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me is wrong, that it's actually words will forever haunt you'.

So all week I've tired my hardest to prove to Ana with my actions that I love her and that I trust her, so much so that I haven't read Boyce Fox's background check. I want to read it, but I want to trust her, so I've just been randomly staring at the closed email all week whenever I'm alone in my office. I only opened the downloaded photo of him last week to show Lilly, I haven't looked at the actual background. Ana assured me she doesn't mind if I look it over, she said she knows I'm curious.

Instead of reading the background check myself, I've decided to hire someone to keep a close eye on the fucker for me. So far, there's no movement. Boyce hasn't been home once since my guy Ryan has been in Detroit. That lead me to my next task of finding any records of him leaving Detroit via bus, plane, or train. But again, nothing. The only way he left Detroit would be if he drove himself. And the only relief I have is that he doesn't have any way of knowing where she is.

I'm walking a fine line of taking complete control of this situation and not going to far where I'm putting her in danger. He doesn't know where she is, so if I go in there, guns blazing, he'll know. Of course, he would likely be arrested but once his sentence is served he'll be free again. We could move, but she would feel as if she was always on the run. I don't want that for her so I'm trying to come up with a suitable outcome, regardless of how badly I want to bury this motherfucker.

Ana has been feeling unwell all week and she's come to the conclusion, the same as mine, that it's the stress getting to her. She's been on high alert since Don asked about her at the restaurant. Being in Seattle and staying at Escala has helped, but occasionally she still doesn't feel well. She said she's trying not to think about it or him but I know she is because she's still getting sick.

Today was the first day she actually felt well enough to go out. I was surprised that she wanted to go shopping, she's not the type, but even more so that she wanted to go without me. Kate picked her up so they could have a girls day of shopping at the mall, but to ensure Ana's safety and to help her breath easy, I've hired a CPO for her. Luke Sawyer is to keep his distance but to intervene if needed.

Since Ana is gone, I was home with Teddy until Elliot came to pick him up for a playdate with Ava. They invited me along, but I had shit to do today.

Now I'm home alone and going through emails for GEH, but the email on Boyce Fox is burning a whole in my screen.

I can't take it a moment longer, knowing his background doesn't mean I don't trust her, it's just a way for me to be better prepared. It's not like I have Dakota Fox's background and I'm checking up on her to make sure she's not lying to me. I need to know about him so I know what I'm dealing with. There could be something else that she forgot to mention to me because she doesn't want to talk about him or her past. That doesn't mean she's hiding it from me, but I still need to know. There are things about my past that I'd like to forget happened and I don't talk about anymore.

Once I close out of a work related email that I've gone over about fifty times and still don't know what it says, since my concentration is off, I click on the email with Boyce's background check.

To say I'm shocked is an understatement. I can't believe what I'm reading.

 **Apov**

I decided to accept Christian's offer and go to Seattle with him and Teddy for the week, just until after the Coping Together event. I know we can't live in Seattle forever... Well, we could, Christian does have a place here, but he moved to give his son a better life so moving back to Seattle wouldn't be what he wants. I'm sure if I mentioned it, Christian would be more than happy to return, but it's not what I want. I just want to be free.

I'm not sure when we'll return home, I just needed a break. I couldn't stop thinking about Boyce finding me, and looking over my shoulder ever two seconds wasn't healthy. I'm glad we're in the city now but I'm still a nervous wreck and I'm still throwing up whenever I think about it. I've tried not to think about it or him, but every so often I'm still getting sick.

Since the charity event Coping Together is tomorrow, the rest of the Greys have joined us in Seattle. Christian's parents still have their house in Bellevue, which is where the event will take place, so everyone is staying there. Christian, Teddy and I are at Escala by ourselves. Mia has tried to talk Christian into taking me to the event again, even asking me to talk him into it. She doesn't understand why I'm not going and it's beginning to raise questions with his parents too. Grace was talking about it the other day as well. To keep his sister quiet, Christian gave her a shopping trip to her favorite local boutique here in Seattle.

Kate arrived, and since I still need to get something for Christian for his birthday next weekend I've asked her to join me at the mall today. I can't very well take Christian with me to get his gift and I could use the help. However, the first store she dragged me into was a lingerie shop. I know he'd love it if I got something from here, so I take a look around.

Kate is buying a bunch of panties and it has me thinking I should buy a few more. Christian has torn a few of my panties when he was horny and in a hurry, but he's replaced them. Maybe I'll shop for panties another day, so instead I focus on Christian's birthday gift.

Deciding on a sexy babydoll nighty with a slit down the front, complete with matching thong; the cheapest thing I could afford in this high-end store, I take my purchases to the counter where Kate is waiting.

I pay with cash even though Christian gave me a credit card with no limit, but I can't very well use it to buy his gift. That just doesn't seem right.

As Kate and I walk down the corridor of the mall, I see a shocking blue jacket on a mannequin through the glass window that separates the store from the walkway. I was going to look for something yellow, since that's Teddy's favorite color, but this jacket looks too good to pass up. Christian would look amazing in it.

Entering the store with Kate, she tries to talk me out of it, but I wont hear it and buy the blue J Crew jacket anyway.

"You know he'll wear that jacket everyday just because you bought it." Kate jokes as we walk out of that store.

I giggle because I know she's probably right. But it's really not that bad.

"You know, Ana," Kate links arms with me as we walk down to another store. "I think Christian would really like it if you came with tomorrow."

"I can't."

"It's a masquerade." She explains about the event. "You have to wear a mask, so we could get you a full mask instead of the eye covering."

"A full mask?" _Hmmm. I could do that_. Even if my picture is printed, if I keep a full mask on all night, I wouldn't be recognized by anyone.

It has been awhile since Christian and I were alone without Teddy. I was planning on having a private romantic dinner for his birthday, just the two of us. But that's a week away.

"Come on," She encourages, knowing I'm considering. "You know you wanna go."

"I'm supposed to watch the kids." They said Gail usually watches them but she didn't come with us.

"My parents aren't going to the event this year, they can watch them."

"I don't have anything to wear."

"Christian gave you that credit card," She was there when he gave it to me so she knows. "If you're going to be with Christian, you're going to have to get use to the money, I've told you that before. Trust me, anything you buy wont even make a dent in his accounts. He wants to take care of you, let him."

For some reason, and I'm not entirely sure why, that does make me feel slightly better about buying an expensive gown. I'd hate to look at the price tag and think of how much it costs all night.

It only takes me a minute but I finally decide to go. I can surprise Christian so I don't plan on telling him.

"Okay," I agree, "But let's eat first before we look at dresses," I tell Kate as we walk passed the food court. "I'm starving."

Kate squeals, grabbing my hand and leading me to the food court.

I'm in the mood for Subway so we make our way there.

After we order, we find a table and sit down to eat.

As we do, I can't stop the feeling of someone watching me.

I look around but the only one I see is the guy Christian hired to protect me while I was out with Kate today. Luke Sawyer, I believe Christian said his name was.

Christian assured me that Sawyer was very good at his job and I wouldn't even know he was around. I agreed because I wanted to shop with Kate for Christian but I was still feeling unsettled about what happened back home. I couldn't ask Christian to come with us so when Christian suggested hiring security for the day while I was out, at first I thought it was ridiculous, but then I agreed.

As I eat, the feeling in my stomach increases, churning like I'm going to be sick again. I can't get passed this feeling I have that someone is watching me and it's making me feel sick. Of course it's probably the guy Christian hired, but it's still nerve wrecking. I try to put it out of my mind, knowing I'm safe here in Seattle with Christian and the security he hired just a few feet away, but my stomach wont settle. I keep telling myself the feeling is the security, and I almost want to call Christian to have him remove him, but then I'd be left completely vulnerable.

What I really want to do is go back home and take a nap, maybe I can get this feeling to pass.

"Ana, are you alright?" Kate notices, "You don't look well."

"I'll be fine." I take a sip of my water to help the feeling go away.

I still have half my 6 inch sub left and I don't think I can finish it. I'm sort of glad Christian isn't here now because he has an issue with wasted food.

I'll just pack it up and take it home for later. But as I start to wrap it up, I feel nauseous, so I try to breath through it.

"Maybe we should get you home," Kate insists. "We can look for dresses later tonight or tomorrow before the event, if you're feeling better."

I nod at her suggestion.

We stand up to throw away our trash and go home, but the sudden movement makes me feel worse.

"I'll be right back," I manage to say before rushing to the nearest restroom.

Ignoring the concerned look I get from Kate, I run passed Sawyer with him still looking around the food court like he missed something vital. He has a photo of Boyce, I'm not sure if it's a physical photo or if he has memorized it, but I know that's who he's looking for as he follows after me. I'm sure he'll tell Christian about this, but it's really just my silly mind playing games on me like it has been all week.

I make it to the stall just in time to throw up everything I just ate.

"Ana?" I hear Kate enter the restroom.

"I'll be right out."

I flush the toilet and walk out to the sinks where I wash my hands and rinse my mouth.

"I hope you don't have the flu." She says concerned.

 _Holy fuck. Deja-vu moment_. Lilly said the same thing to me a week ago.

I shake my head, not having enough energy to speak.

"Oh god," Kate says in realization, just like Lilly did, like she knows something I don't. "Please say you have the flu."

"I don't think it's the flu, I'm sure I'll be fine." I just need to stop thinking Boyce is nearby and that he found me.

"Ana," She calls to me. "Do you think... Are you... Could you be pregnant? Maybe it's morning sickness."

"I'm not pregnant," _We use protection_. "it's just my anxiety getting the better of me."

"Do you- I know it's none of my business but, do you and Christian- Are you sexually active?"

 _Of course we are, he's like sex on legs!_

"Yes," I whisper, blushing. "But we haven't been having sex long enough for me to be pregnant."

"When was the first time you guys had sex?"

As I think about it, I realize we've been together and having sex longer than I thought; a little more than a month, plenty of time to become pregnant. However, we use condoms so I couldn't be pregnant, I couldn't be.

"The night after our first date." I answer her anyway, a little embarrassed that we had sex that soon.

"That was like, over a month ago." Kate points out, unfazed with how quickly Christian and I had sex. "That's plenty of time. Are you on birth-control?"

"No, but we use protection." Christian has been using condoms every time.

"No protection is 100% effective." She slightly reprimands me, sounding more like a doctor. I think she gets it from Grace. "When was your last period?"

I use to know when I was ovulating and when I would expect my period, but once I left I no longer needed to.

I try to think of when I had my last period, but I don't remember having one since we've been together. _Crap!_

"I don't... I don't know, I stopped keeping track of it, I don't remember."

"Maybe you should take a test?" She suggests. "Just to rule it out."

I think about it and decide it wouldn't hurt. She is right, and I guess we have been having sex a lot longer than I thought so it is possible. Not to mention, I've been experiencing other things, symptoms I guess you would say. My breasts are sensitive but they've always been that way. And I have gained weight, but I just put that off as eating healthier. But now I'm throwing up for a full week, and I thought that was due to stress.

We leave the mall and go straight to the nearest pharmacy, with Sawyer driving us in Christian's SUV.

After we pay for the test, I decide to just take it in the store's bathroom. Not a great place to find out, but I can't wait any longer.

Kate follows me inside, locking the main door so nobody else can come in, while I use one of the stalls.

It feels as if I'm staring at the test results for days, my heart is beating so fast. I can't believe it.

When I finally come out, Kate looks nervous for me, more so than I do, and _I know_ what the results are.

"What does it say?" Kate asks after awhile when she can't stand my silence a moment longer.

"I- Um. It says... Uh. I think I should talk to Christian first, before I say." As I say this, I realize it's obvious what the test results are.

"Okay, we'll get you back to Escala... But, Ana..." She says cautiously. "...if you need me, call me. Christian wasn't very... accepting when he found out about Teddy. I don't know how he's going to react now, and I don't want you to leave if he doesn't react in the way you expect. I'm not trying to scare you or say he'll react badly, but I want you to be prepared. Elliot fainted when I told him, so maybe have Christian sit down. I may not know the details of your last argument when you were going to leave last week, but I don't want you to go anywhere. You can stay with me and Elliot if you need to, okay."

"Thanks, Kate." I hug her. "You're a great friend."

I know all about how he ran out on Teddy when his parents introduced them for the first time... but he also told me how he went back after thinking about it. He might need a moment to think when I tell him about this, and that's fine... But Teddy was already born and his mother wasn't some runaway who is hiding from her abusive husband.

What if Christian doesn't want another baby. What if he does, but he doesn't want me anymore because of the danger that surrounds me. Or what if, for whatever reason, we break up... He could take me to court and easily get full custody. These what if's are killing me and the only way I'll receive comfort is if I talk to Christian myself.

Just went I thought I was feeling slightly better, I feel as if I'm going to be sick all over again.

"Hey," Kate rubs my arm to comfort me. "It's going to be okay."

I nod and let her lead me to the SUV.

Sawyer drives us to Escala while Kate tries to comfort me. But I ignore her. The only thing I can think of is when Christian and I got into it last week, after he found that wanted poster of me, how he told me to leave. If I did, he wouldn't know I was pregnant with his baby and I wouldn't have been able to afford to care for another person alone. _I can barely care for myself_. And if I had gotten on a bus to god only knows where, I wouldn't have enough money to get a bus back to tell him at least for a few weeks. And I don't have a phone, leaving the one he gave me...

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize Sawyer has pulled up to Escala until Kate reminds me that I can call her any time. She gives me a few more encouraging words and sends me on my way.

Sawyer makes sure I'm safely in the elevator and on my way up before he takes Kate back to the Greys house in Bellevue.

In the elevator, it feels as if the walls are closing in. I'm pacing and reciting different ways I can tell him. I try just saying it, "I'm pregnant." Giving it to him gently, "Christian, I'm pregnant." Sweet and loving, "We're going to have a baby." As well as other ways to break the news, trying to prepare myself and find the right words to say. I don't want to just blurt it out and I don't know how he's going to react, like Kate said, he wasn't very happy about Teddy's arrival.

But, to be honest, I am expecting him to be upset like he was when he found out about Teddy. And it's nice to be prepared for that. I'm sure he'll come around eventually, but what if he says or does something so completely unforgiveable that I just can't be with him anymore. Then what will I do? Maybe he'll be happy, he has experience now and he is a great dad.

 _Ding!_

Again, lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize the elevator arrived until it chimed it's arrival.

I take a deep breath and step off the elevator.

Before I enter the apartment, I stop thinking Teddy is in there. I can't tell Christian I'm pregnant with Teddy here, I don't want Christian to scare his son if he yells. I'll have to wait to tell him when Teddy isn't with us.

With that in mind, I walk inside the apartment.

It's quiet, so I wonder where my guys are.

I look all over but don't hear or see them.

Christian didn't say they were going anywhere while I was out with Kate. I'm sure he would've called or sent me a text if he wasn't going to be home. I'm starting to feel sick again, getting that gut feeling something is wrong. I wish this feeling would just go away!

As I enter Christian's master bedroom, I find him in the walk-in closet.

"Hey," I breathe to calm my upset stomach. "What are you doing?"

"I was just getting my tux ready." He tells me.

He abandons his tux and stalks towards me- he has an incredible sexy walk. When he reaches me, still standing in the entryway, he gives me a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Did you have fun shopping with Kate?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't buy anything?"

 _Double crap!_ I forgot my bag in the SUV. I hope Sawyer doesn't bring it up when he arrives, I don't want Christian to see it. I guess I can text Kate to take it with her until I can get it when Christian isn't around.

"I saw a few things, but nothing worth buying." I make up so he doesn't ask what I bought or where it's at.

"You know you could've used my card if you wanted anything."

"I know, but I didn't need anything. I just wanted to get out of the house for a little bit. We might go back out tonight or tomorrow, I might buy something then."

I don't mention that I'm considering going to the event and what I'm going to buy is a gown to wear.

My thoughts are more of telling him about the pregnancy than surprising him with that.

Maybe I can tell him now, it doesn't look like Teddy is home. But maybe Teddy is napping... I can't tell Christian if Teddy is napping, he'll likely wake him up if he freaks out.

"What is it?" Christian sense I have something on my mind.

Instead of telling him in the closet, I take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom area.

"Where's Teddy?" I ask, because that's the deciding factor if I tell him now.

"Elliot stopped by and got him shortly after you left. He'll be home soon, I think. El said Ava wouldn't stop talking about Teddy all week so they came earlier just so she could play with him. Why, what's going on?"

Okay, well... I guess I can tell him now. We are alone and Teddy's not home.

"I- um. I need to tell you something."

He's quiet as he waits for me to continue.

I haven't had much time to plan how to say this, only the short elevator ride up to the apartment. I'm still getting over how surreal this is.

"Maybe you should sit down?" I gesture towards his bed, remembering what Kate said about Elliot fainting.

"Ana, just tell me what's going on." He insists, a little frustrated, without sitting.

"Okay." I take a deep breath and prepare for the worse. "I- I took a test today, and it came back positive."

That wasn't one of the ways I practiced in the elevator, but it's what came out.

He's quite for awhile. I can't bare to look at him so I keep my head down.

"A test?" He asks, but his tone suggests he knows exactly what kind of test I'm talking about. It's the only logical explanation of what test I would be taking.

"Mhm." I still can't look at him. "It said... It said, I'm pregnant."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him practically fall onto the bed.

He sits there stunned, running his fingers through his hair.

I make no move, still standing in place and ringing my fingers together while I look at them instead of him. I was holding my breath but since I'm not feeling well, I slowly breath through it.

I'm going to be sick if he doesn't say anything soon. Then when I think of all horrible the things he can say, I start to feel extremely nauseous.

I don't want to move though, and I don't want to be the one to leave even if it is a trip to the toilet, because it may reflect how he feels. And I want his honest opinion about this. But if he doesn't hurry, we may have to continue this conversation in the bathroom.

"That's the reason you've been ill all week?" He finally speaks.

"I think so," I nod because my voice cracks and I'm not sure if he understood what I said.

"Come here." He holds his hand out to me.

I quickly grab his hand and let him pull me onto his lap. I feel safe in his arms as he wraps them around me, and it causes me to snuggle against him.

"How do you feel about this?" He asks me, rubbing my hair and putting some behind my ear.

"I'm a little nervous." I try to downsize how I feel because, "Mostly, I'm worried about what you think of it."

"It's definitely unexpected, that's for sure. But," He pauses. "I'm okay with it."

"Christian, I'm freaking out," I admit, sitting up so I can look at him. My tears are beginning to fall now. "I'm more than a little nervous, I'm terrified. I can barely take care of myself and I know I wont be able to do this alone. I'm really scared and I need you, I can't do this without you, I can't do this by myself. You scared me last week. What if something happens and you decide you don't want to be with me anymore, what will I do then? Will you leave us, or will you take him away from me? Christian, I can't-"

My breathing increases, the tears are pouring now. I'm nearly hyperventilating as I think of all the possibilities, all the what ifs. I'm trying to calm myself down enough so I can talk to him about my fears and worries but I can't stop crying to say anything else.

"Baby," He holds my face between his hands, wiping my tears with his thumbs. "Calm down, breath, just breath."

I do as he says and take deep breathes until I'm no longer freaking out.

"One; I will always want you." He tells me, still comforting me and wiping away my tears. "I know I messed up last week, but even before I knew the truth, I still wanted to be with you. I was just angry, but not towards you. I let that stupid paper get the better of me. I know I fucked up, baby, that's why I came after you. If you left, I would have been devastated and I'm sure Teddy would've hated me."

I laugh a little at that. Thank goodness Teddy didn't know what was going on but I don't think he would've hated Christian, he adores his father and looks up to him. He wouldn't have known why I left, he probably would've been more upset with me than his father because I left without saying goodbye.

"And two; I told you, you will always be safe with me." He smiles, "You belong with us."

"You're my life line." I tell him.

"You're mine as well." He kisses the tip of my nose.

"I wouldn't be able to live without you." I was with Boyce for survival, until I needed to get away from him to survive. I'm with Christian because I want to be with him, I love him. And the thought of being without him is unimaginable, I never want to feel that pain.

"You don't have to." He continues to hold me.

I nod and rest my head against his shoulder.

"I think after the charity event we should go back home," I suggest, not telling him I'm planning on joining him tomorrow at the event.

"Are you sure?" He asks. "Because we can stay here for as long as you like."

"We came here because I was terrified he found me and I needed to get away for awhile, but it's clear I was overreacting. And you're right, he has no way of finding me. I want to live my new life with you, I don't want to just survive anymore. I know I can't do certain things, but I want to at least live. I've been afraid for far too long."

"I'm happy to hear that."

We sit in silence for a while, with Christian holding me.

"So..." He begins, putting his hand on my still flat stomach and brushing his thumb gently back and forth. "We're really going to have a baby?"

I smile down at my stomach and his hand, thinking of how I will look fully pregnant, our baby growing inside of me. I'm still shocked, and I know he is, but I'm glad he's much more accepting of this than he was when he found out about Teddy. I don't know what I would do if he yelled at me, blamed me, and then walked out to get drunk with that vile woman as he did when he found out about Teddy.

"Yup." I answer him. "That's what the test said. But we wont know for sure until I- Oh god!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"I can't go to a doctor, they'll check my information and know that I'm not really Anastasia Steele."

"Don't worry, baby, I'll arrange everything."

I breath a sigh of relief.

I love that he wants to take care of me, of us. I'm so happy with him, I just wish things were different.

"I love you, Christian." I kiss him gently.

"I love you, too, Ana."

We continue kissing, slow at first and then it turns heated. Christian deepens our kiss as he lays me down on the bed. We shed each other's clothes in seconds.

Christian instinctively reaches over to grab a condom but then he stops himself. At first I wonder why he's not using protection, then I remind myself it's no longer needed. But-

"Christian," I stop him from entering me. "What if the test results are wrong?"

"Baby," He laughs, "I'm sure the test is not wrong."

He sighs, seeing the worry still on my face.

"But if you really want me to use a condom until we find out for sure, via a doctor, I will."

"Please," I nod.

He doesn't look happy but then he seems to be thinking about something.

"If the doctor said you weren't pregnant, how would you feel about trying for a baby?"

"It's too soon." I say right away, shaking my head.

If I am pregnant, there's nothing that can be done, but if I wasn't it is too soon to be bringing a baby into our relationship. Teddy is enough for me, for us, until we've been together longer. I'm not prepared to plan a pregnancy at this point in my life but if I don't have a choice, like this surprise pregnancy, that's different. It doesn't mean I don't want this baby, it just means I'd like to be better prepared.

He nods understanding and thankfully grabs the condom.

"I want you to know, the minute we have medical confirmation that you're pregnant, I'm going to make love to you without a barrier between us." He says as he puts the condom on. "I want to feel you."

"After it's confirmed," I stress.

"Yes, dear." He grins.

Christian leans over me once again, continuing where he left off.

I open my legs, spreading them wide enough so he's able to fit right in-between them. He settles himself between my legs, reaching between us to run his fingers along my slit.

He moans feeling how wet and ready I am for him, moves his fingers, and slides right in.

I moan when he pulls out and pushes back inside of me oh so slowly.

He continues the slow pace at first, but then he speeds up, hitting that sweet spot just right. Thankfully the movement isn't too much to upset my stomach.

And when he begins to grind into me, I nearly lose it.

I'm panting and moaning as I move my hips to match his rhythm, but I'm losing stamina. He grabs my ass to help me move.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I move faster with his help. He is grunting as he pushes deep inside of me, and every noise he makes is turning me on.

I feel myself building until I'm almost there.

"Christian, I'm so close."

I know he's on the edge as well.

Within seconds I'm coming undone, convulsing around him and milking him as wave after wave hits me hard.

Christian continues to move until I'm cuming again, but this time we're cuming together.

"I'm so in love with you, baby." Christian pants as his lips move against mine.

He gives me one last kiss before he pulls out.

I weakly reach for the blanket, not having any energy to get dressed or clean up from our sex and wanting to nap.

He takes his condom off and just as he's about to get off the bed, to throw it away and most likely grab us some clothes before we cuddle together, the bedroom door bursts open and Teddy runs inside.

Christian falls back in bed with me, nearly falling on top of me, quickly covers his dick and makes sure I'm covered. I'm already completely covered because I wanted to take a nap.

I can't help but burst out laughing. We're both completely naked in bed with Teddy in the room. Teddy has never walked in on us before, but we're also careful when we have sex if he's home. If he came in just moments sooner, he would've seen us. I don't know why I'm giggling, I can't help it. We just about got busted by our four year old.

"What you doin'?" Teddy asks us. "Why you in bed?"

"Uh-" Christian is momentarily stunned.

"I was tired and was going to take a nap." I go with a half truth. "Your dad wanted to sleep with me."

"I don't wike naps." He tells us, looking back and forth between us.

"Teddy, where's Elliot?" Christian asks and right on cue, Elliot walks into the bedroom while holding little Ava.

"Woah." He says, shocked, and coming to a stop when he sees the 'condition' we're in. "Well, isn't this an awkward age for Teddy to learn about birds and bees."

"I alweady know about birds and bees, uncle Lelliot."

"Come on, buddy," Elliot ushers Teddy out of the bedroom. "Let your parents um-"

"Nap." I finish for him.

"I'll be right out." Christian says to Elliot before they close the door.

"I really am tired." I tell Christian once they're gone. "I was wanting to nap, I've been feeling so exhausted lately and you've just took every last bit of energy I had left."

"Sleep, baby." He chuckles, getting out of bed.

He grabs one of his T-shirts and helps me into it, then kisses my forehead and makes sure I'm all tucked in before he gets dressed himself.

I watch with heavy eyes as Christian, throws on a pair of jeans- going commando- and a T-shirt before leaving me alone in the bedroom sleep.

I can't believe I'm pregnant. Christian seemed to take the news well, and I'm kind of excited myself. I never expected this when I ran but I wouldn't give up my life now for anything.


	18. Her Bump

**Apov**

Somehow Christian was able to get me a doctor appointment the next morning, before the Coping Together charity, so he could come with me. I was nervous filling out the paperwork, but Christian assured me everything would be okay so I filled everything out as Anastasia Steele. After my exam, and an ultrasound, Dr. Greene confirmed that the test results were correct and I am pregnant. We'll have a baby come January. We left the office with our first ultrasound photos of our baby, both agreeing to wait until tomorrow, after the charity event, before we tell his family. However, I did tell Christian that Kate was with me when I took the test and it was obvious what those results were.

After my appointment, we picked up Teddy from Kate and Elliot then we came back to Escala. Before we left, Kate privately confirmed that her parents would watch the children so I could attend the event. Kate went on to ask if I was still getting a dress, but since I've been nauseous I'm not going to go. So it'll just be Teddy and I at home tonight since Ava will stay with her grandparents.

Christian and I still need to talk, discuss everything about what having this baby means for our future. However, it's not a conversation to be had with Teddy around.

Laying down seems to help my nausea so we're in the family room, watching a movie. Teddy and I are already in our pajamas, ready for bed when the time comes. Christian still needs to get ready for Coping Together, but he is holding off for as long as he possibly can. I know he's torn between going and staying with us, but I think he should go if he goes every year. I can go the following years, as long as it's still masquerade themed.

It's nearing 8 o'clock, almost time for Christian to leave and Teddy to be sleeping. I'm a little tired myself, this pregnancy, though still in the early stages, is taking it's toll on me and my body. I'm sure going to the event with Christian would've made him happy, but I'm kind of glad I'll be staying home. I'm tired and nauseous, not a good combination.

"Baby," Christian calls my attention so I look up since I'm snuggled next to him. "I think we should tell him." He nods towards Teddy.

"Now?"

"I'd like for him to know before we tell everyone tomorrow and he overhears us or them."

I'm not really sure how to tell anyone about this unexpected, unplanned pregnancy, but I don't think Teddy should overhear it.

"Makes sense." I nod in agreement and sit up.

Christian moves so he's sitting on the other side of Teddy so that way Teddy is in between us. I let Christian take the lead because I don't really know what to say.

"Hey, buddy," Christian begins. "Ana and I want to talk to you about something. Something important."

"What?"

"Well, you like Ana right?"

"Yes, I wike her a wot." He holds his arms wide, showing us how much. "Dis much!"

I have to hold back my giggles at how cute he is, but it doesn't stop my wide smile.

"I like Ana, too." Christian grins at his son and winks at me. "I like her so much that I want her to be my girlfriend."

"I thought she awready was?"

"Well," Christian looks up at me before turning his attention back towards his son.

We've never really made it official, everyone refers to us as a couple and yesterday Elliot called us Teddy's 'parents'. _Parents,_ as in plural. At the time I was so tired, exhausted, that I didn't even realize it until I woke up from my nap. It just sounded so natural and nobody said anything, correcting him or otherwise. I almost expected Teddy to be the next one to slip and call me mommy or something.

"Yes," Christian brings me from my thoughts, answering Teddy, "but I want to be with Ana forever."

I'm literally swooning from the words he's saying to his four year old son. Our four year old son. We really need to talk privately.

"Does dat mean Ana-" Teddy stops to think of his words. "Is she-"

"What is it, buddy?" Christian encourages him to continue.

"Will Ana be my mommy?" His tone is soft, almost sad, like he's expecting us to tell him no.

"Yes." My eyes widen as I realize I'm the one who blurted it out, but Christian nods his head when he sees my reaction, letting me know it's okay.

"I may not have given birth to you, Teddy," I tell him honestly, even though I know he probably doesn't understand what that means, "but I would love to be your mom."

Teddy's smile could light up the city.

He launches himself at me so I hug the little guy and melt even more when he says, "I love you, mommy!"

"I love you, too." I can't manage more than a whisper.

He is the first to pull away from our hug, but we're all still smiling.

"Now I can tell Ava dat I have a mommy and a daddy, just like her!"

"Well, you are going to have something else too," Christian chimes in. "Because your new mommy is going to have a baby."

"Rweally?!" Teddy seems thrilled with the idea. "Ava doesn't have a baby."

"No, she doesn't." Christian laughs as he agrees.

"I hope I get a broder, I always wanted a broder like daddy and uncle Lelliot. Oh man, dis is gonna be so cool!"

Teddy starts going on and on about how he and his brother -that he assumes will be ready to play once he is born- are going to do all kinds of activities together like Christian and Elliot.

I'm so happy that he's okay with this. I am somewhat of a new person to him, only knowing the Greys for a couple months. Though Teddy and I have always had this special little bond and I'm not entirely sure why. He's the one that sort of helped me get out of my shell, and if being a mother to him is a way to repay him, I'll gladly accept.

"It may be a girl, Teddy," Christian kills the joy of Teddy's possible new brother. "We'll be happy with a brother or a sister, right?"

"Rwight. Ava will be happier, doh. But, and I can potect dem."

"There ya go." Christian ruffles his hair. "I'm glad you're happy about having a new sibling, buddy."

Christian glances at his watch and frowns.

"I have to get ready," Christian tells us, standing from the sofa.

He gives me a soft kiss on my lips and kisses Teddy's head before he heads towards the bedroom to get dressed for the charity event his parents are hosting.

I'm a little sad that I wont be joining him, but maybe one year I'll be comfortable enough to join him without the masks needed to conceal my identity.

Teddy and I snuggle together again with smiles on our faces as we start another movie. Bolt, this time. I'm sure he'll be sleeping before it's halfway over but I'm enjoying his company and I don't want him to leave my side just yet. I'm still high off of gaining a son, possible two sons, in less than 24 hours. Christian and I will talk more about everything tonight when he gets home.

 **...  
Cpov**

I've just arrived at my parents' Bellevue property for the Coping Together charity event. As I walk the line of photographers here to capture photos of the guests attending, instead of my usual impassive face I'm scowling at them. It's mainly their fault Ana couldn't join me here tonight.

It has me wondering if she will always avoid these types of events because of the fear that the paps will blast our photo in the magazines, internet and other news media sources. I'm not nearly as popular as I was before, but I am still very well known and I still get plenty of invites to charity events with a lot of photographers.

It's definitely something we need to discuss; our future together.

Once I make my way towards the back, I grab a flute of champagne and walk towards the tent, since it's nearly time to be seated for dinner. I waited until the last possible second to leave my little family. _Wow._ I still can't believe Ana is pregnant. I can't believe how thrilled I am. And I can't wait for everyone to know.

"Christian." I hear a familiar voice call my name.

When I turn around I see my grandparents headed my way. If only Ana was here to see them.

"Hello, gramps, grandma." I shake my grandfather's hand and kiss my grandmother's cheek, all with new meaning.

"How is little Teddy doing?" My grandmother always asks when we talk.

"He's great. Excited about going to kindergarten this fall," _Among other things, like having a mom and a sibling on the way_.

"He's getting so big, too fast. They always do."

"It's hard to believe he's going to be 5 in October." I agree.

"And what about this young girl your mother mentioned? You finally have a girlfriend?"

"Yes," I chuckle at how she brings up Ana. "We've been together for a little over a month and I already know she's it for me. I want to be with her forever."

"It happened that fast for your grandfather and I too." She smiles. "I'm just so happy to hear this. Where is she? I'd love to meet her."

Grandma looks around but she wont find Ana here.

"Actually, she is at home, at Escala with Teddy. But she will be attending breakfast tomorrow morning so you can meet her then, I'm sure she will be thrilled to see you two."

"Well, why isn't she here?" My grandmother asks in her no nonsense tone. "Doesn't Gail usually watch Teddy while you attend events?"

Before I can answer, not that I would know what to say, my mother approaches us.

But what am I supposed to say, my girlfriend is on the run from her legally-married abusive husband and she doesn't want her picture taken as a way for him to find her?

"They're about to serve dinner," Grace says after she greets us.

A second later the MC announces for everyone to be seated.

"Is she pretty?" My grandfather asks of Ana as we head to our table together.

"Beautiful," I correct him. Beyond beautiful doesn't even begin cover it. Breathtaking is more accurate.

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on her at Mia's restaurant. I was pissed off and when I walked in, more like stormed into the restaurant, I felt this breeze rush by me. The smell was amazing and somehow it instantly calmed me. Across the room, in the direction the breeze came from, Ana was busy waiting on a table, doing everything she could to blend in and go unnoticed, but she was a terrible waitress and looked stressed out at trying to learn how. When she glanced up and our eyes met, it felt like I was hit hard in my chest.

"Well," My grandfather brings me from my thoughts, "don't hold back, son, show me her photo."

I laugh because I would rather they see her in person but dig in my pocket for my phone anyway, not planning on actually showing him any of the photos I've captured of Ana, but when I put my hand in my pocket it's empty, save for my wallet. I check my other pocket, even though I don't normally keep my phone there, but that one is empty too. I'm standing near the entrance of the tent, patting myself down worse than a police officer would.

"Fuck." I hiss.

"What's wrong?" Gramps asks.

"I don't have my phone." Teddy was playing with it before I left, but I thought I got it back from him. I guess I was too distracted with visions of Ana and the stages of her pregnancy.

"No worries, we'll see her tomorrow."

"What if she needs me?"

"You can call from the house phone to check on her," Gramps insists, "Besides, it's late and she's probably sleeping by now."

I agree with him and continue towards the table.

I'm sure Kate has her phone with her, and Ana knows her number if she needs anything. I'm sure she'll call Kate if she can't get ahold of me. And gramps is right, Ana is probably sleeping by now. I could call her after the dinner, but I'd probably wake her up. She's safe, I convince myself. Not to mention, I left Sawyer there with them- he is in the staff quarters only a few feet away- and nobody can get into the apartment without the access code.

At the table, as dinner is served, the usually conversations begin: My mother trying to convince her parents into moving to Washington since Michigan is too far away and their visits to each other are few and far between. Mia's restaurant, Elliot's construction company, and the paper that Kate runs. And the great-grandchildren; Teddy and Ava.

"When will you all give me another great-grandbaby?" My grandmother asks the three of her grandchildren sitting at the table.

 _Soon,_ I want to say. I want to tell them now that Ana is pregnant and we're expecting a baby. But Ana isn't here and I want to tell my family with her, it's what we agreed upon.

Kate glances at me but keeps quiet.

Ana said Kate was with her when she took the test and even though Ana did not tell Kate the results of the test it was suggested that the results were positive.

I tune everyone out, giving a small acknowledgement that I'm following along with them, but all I can think about is Ana and the new baby, how much my life has changed since Teddy came into it unexpectedly. Ana came in just the same. I never expected to fall in love, ever. But I couldn't see myself falling for anyone but her.

"So what have you two been up to since we last spoke?" My mom asks her parents.

My grandmother's answer pulls me from my thoughts and has my full attention now.

"Well, we've just started to organize a non-profitable organization that helps women, or men, get away from their abusive spouses. It's still early stages, but we want to build it up soon. There are many shelters available for those who don't have any loved ones to help them or if they can't afford alternative housing, but who wants to live in an open room with several cots and other people they don't know when they are coming from a home. It gives them a reason to go back and forgive their partner only for the abuse to continue. We want to have housing set-up for these people who need to get away from abusive situations. Help them gets jobs or go back to school. Help with restraining orders, divorcing and such. We're still working out the kinks, and we need more donations."

"Why don't you move to Washington," My mother tries again with their moving situation. "I could help you organize it. We started Coping Together roughly 25 years ago, so I know how to start a charity. We could call it Safe Haven, and by this time next year we could have a few mini apartments lined up around Seattle. I'm sure this will take off like wild fire once we get it going."

"We don't have anyone in Detroit to stay for anymore," My grandmother tells my grandfather sadly. But we left when I was 4, they haven't had anyone in Detroit in over 27 years. They stayed because they've lived their all their lives and loved the city. Why else have they been avoiding the move?

"We'd need to sell the house first." My grandfather says, "I wouldn't want to move without selling first."

"I don't know, Theo, we've lived there nearly all our lives. We started our family there, dear." It's clear grandma doesn't want to move. I'm not sure she ever will.

The dinner continues and every now and then I see my grandmother asking Mia questions. I wonder if she's asking about Ana. As I think of Ana and my grandparents' new charity, I know I want to help.

"I'd like to be a sponsor once you get your charity going, just let me know what you need." I tell my grandparents.

Maybe if Ana had some place to go, someone to help her get away from him, she wouldn't be afraid to turn around. She wouldn't run at every chance she got when something spooked her because it would've been taken care of properly. There are so many things that could've happened to her while she was on the run, so many ways her life could've turned out. She could've ended up like my birthmother... _No. Don't think about that, Grey_.

"That's lovely, Christian," My mother turns to smile at me but then frowns. "Where is Ana?"

 _Is she just now noticing that my girl isn't with me?_ And did she forget that Ana is staying with Teddy?

"She's watching Teddy, remember."

"Why didn't she want to come, sweetheart?"

I run my fingers nervously through my hair, not wanting to say the real reason as to why my girlfriend didn't want to come to the charity event. And I can't say she wasn't feeling well because Ana said weeks before the event that she didn't want to attend.

"I convinced her to come," Kate chimes in, answering for me. I frown wondering what she's up to but let her take over. "She was going to attend tonight but when we were looking for dresses at the mall yesterday, Ana wasn't feeling well and decided to stay home."

"Ana's not feeling well?" My mother turns her attention away from Kate to ask me. "Maybe I should check on her in the morning?"

"Actually, we already went to a doctor this morning." Great, now I'm saying my mother isn't good enough to check over my love.

"Is everything okay?" My mother isn't bothered that we saw another doctor, but is still concerned for Ana's wellbeing.

"Everything is perfect." I smile thinking about how perfect our baby is and remembering the scan, seeing that little blip on the screen and hearing the heartbeat.

Dr. Greene assured us that everything was fine and looked healthy as she looked over everything twice on my insistence. I wasn't there for Hannah's pregnancy with Teddy because I didn't know about him. I doubt we would've been together romantically, even for the sake of our child, but I would've been there for him had I known... once I came around, I'm sure.

Seeing my baby on that screen today was an amazing experience that I will never forget. The ultrasound is safe in my wallet and it feels as if it is burning a whole through the leather. I'm wanting to show everyone the little blip that Dr. Greene said was our baby. It looks nothing like a baby at this stage, but I remember seeing Elliot's when Kate was pregnant with Ava.

"Why are you smiling like that and way is everything perfect?" My mother asks, a hint of joy in her tone. "What doctor did she see, darling?"

 _Shit!_

It clicks in my mother's head what doctor Ana saw and why I'm smiling.

I'm sure it's obvious to her, and Kate, but everyone else has not picked up on it. Thank fuck, because Ana and I wanted to tell them together.

It doesn't take long before my mother is grinning like the cat who got the canary.

"Ana and I want to talk to everyone tomorrow." _Yeah, that's not subtle, Grey_. It's like a big sign saying what my mother is thinking is correct.

"Oh, Christian, just tell us," Mother is nearly bouncing out of her seat. "Is she pregnant?"

"Ana is pregnant?!" Mia cheers, screeching and bringing all the attention to me now.

"Tomorrow." I continue to eat to avoid anymore questions, but it's pointless. The woman are about to attack me at any moment if I don't confirm or deny the allegation.

After they all take turns fawning over the ultrasound that I'm all too happy and proud to show off, and assuring them that Teddy is thrilled to be a big brother, my mother insists I go home to my family. I'm not needed here and I should've stayed with Ana to begin with.

I agree and stand once dinner is finished and they start the auction.

I can just imagine Ana sleeping in my bed, or raiding the kitchen in her silk nightgown and matching robe. I wonder if I should stop for ice cream, I remember that being something Kate craved. I also remember Elliot complaining that he had to go get watermelon in the middle of the night once or twice. I wonder if Ana has had any cravings yet.

Before I leave, I pull my dad aside so I can discuss a few things with him privately. I know Ana can't get a restraining order because then it will say on the order of protection where she is so he knows to avoid that area, but I want to ask my dad about the process of legally changing your name, without getting married, so she can legally become Anastasia Steele. I'd like to ask more about divorces, but I'll leave that for another day.

 **...  
Apov**

For some reason, I can't sleep. I think it's because Christian is not here. Since we've been together, and that night he overheard my nightmare on the phone, I have been sleeping with him. My reality is now better than my dreams could ever be. As comfortable as his bed is here, I can't get comfortable enough to sleep. I've thought about crawling in bed with Teddy, but I don't want to disturb him and Christian will be home later tonight. I found his library and read some, but now I'm just laying here.

A thumping noise startles me. I get out of bed while wrapping the robe Christian gave me around my body, and investigate.

My first stop is Teddy's room, checking that it wasn't him and that he is okay. He's still fast asleep, blissfully unaware of the noise I heard.

It obviously wasn't him, although I'm still unsure of what the noise was.

Christian shouldn't be home til later but he said Sawyer was staying in the staff apartment, maybe it was him.

Walking out to the main room, it's dark, the moon lighting the room but nobody is here.

The view is something I don't think I could ever get use to, it's beautiful up here.

As I make my way towards the windows, I decide to walk out on the balcony.

We're on the top floor, not even Spider-Man himself could reach us. Okay, maybe Spider-Man could, but certainly nothing bad could happen up here. It's like we are in the clouds. It's so comforting.

Instead of going back to bed, because I wont get any sleep until Christian is home, I lean against the railing, enjoying the city lights and fresh air.

A noise behind me startles me so I quickly spin around.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"You look beautiful." He ignores my question.

"What are you doing home so soon?" I ask again. I know the event couldn't possibly be over yet, he's only been gone maybe an hour or two.

"I missed you too much to stay all night." He pushes off the door frame where he was leaning and watching me.

"I missed you, too." I tell him, wrapping my arms around his neck when he reaches me. He holds me around my waist and pulls me close.

He looks so handsome, so sophisticated in his tux. Christian could look handsome in anything, nothing he wore could hide his beauty but naked suits him best.

"My family... they sort of found out about the baby." He gives me a guilty smile.

"Uh-huh," I giggle. "They just stumbled upon it, huh? I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it quiet." I shake my head at him but I'm not upset. I'm just worried what his family will think.

"Are they okay with it?" I ask him.

"They're all thrilled." He assures me. "My grandparents were there, they want to meet you. You'll see them tomorrow at breakfast." He smiles at me like he has some secret he's keeping.

"Even though we haven't been together for very long?" I ask him because don't want anyone thinking badly of me with how soon this happened.

"Trust me, baby, they are all happy. But we do need to talk and have a conversation about what's to come."

"I know," I agree. "I'm sure you want me to officially move in with you and Teddy permanently."

"Of course," He confirms. "As well as quitting your waitressing job at Mia's restaurant. I don't want you to be stressed and working too hard when you don't need to work at all."

"Christian, I need my job, or at least a job. I can't just let you take care of everything, and it's not about the money, I know you have more than enough to take care of us. I just- I don't know, I just need it. For me, ya know?"

"We'll compromise." He counters, knowing I need this. "How about, you focus on that book you've been writing instead of working at the restaurant, and once it's ready to be published, that will be your job, your money? You'll be a published author."

"Deal." I like that.

"Dance with me." He whispers, changing the subject.

I smile and let him lead me around the balcony since he's still holding me.

It's just us, him in his tux looking incredibly sexy, and me in my nightgown and matching robe looking a hot mess.

We dance around the balcony of his Seattle penthouse apartment with the moonlight shinning down on us and the beautiful city lights surrounding us, twinkling in the night. And even though I didn't attend the charity event with him and his family, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world. This is my reality.

"I love you, Christian." I tell him sincerely.

"I love you, baby." He kisses me softly.


	19. His Arrival

**Apov**

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to meet Christian's grandparents before they left. They had an early flight back to wherever they live and left after breakfast. I overslept so we missed seeing them.

Christian wanted to wake me but Teddy wouldn't let him saying his new mommy needed her rest for his new baby brother. Since I woke late and we already missed breakfast, I suggested we just eat at Escala before meeting everyone at Christian's parents' house, but Christian was in a hurry to get there, just incase his grandparents hadn't left yet. I was a little surprised that Christian was okay with us waiting to eat until we got to his parents house since he has a thing with food, but he seemed very excited for me to meet his grandparents. When we arrived, they were already gone.

I'm sure I'll meet them eventually so I'm not too worried about it this time.

Since we arrived late, everyone was finished eating but Grace made us pancakes, which I gladly ate more than my fair share of since we rushed to get there and I was hungry. Of course the food didn't stay down for long thanks to this morning sickness. After that, I just stuck with toast.

Christian was right, everyone is thrilled we're expecting a baby. Of course marriage was brought up but Christian explained that we didn't need to be married in order to have a baby. Even if I could marry him, and even though we are expecting a baby, it is a little soon to be getting married. We've only been together for a little over a month or so. But, I am worried he may want us to get married in the future and I wont be able to, it's just not possible with me still being legally married.

Even though Christian hasn't brought it up and doesn't mention anything about me being legally married, I still think it bothers him. I mean, it does me. I know it would be best to divorce the bastard so I wanted to talk with Christian's father about it. Christian said his father was a lawyer and would be happy to help me with any legal process I need, so I spoke privately to Carrick, with Christian present, and explained my situation to him; that I am still married but I've left my husband because he abused me. I want to be honest with him, with all the Greys, because with this baby and the relationship I have with Christian and Teddy, they are bound to be a part of my life forever. They just don't need to know the dirty details of my past.

Carrick said he would help me with the process of getting a divorce and Boyce wouldn't know where I am. If I need to go to court, Carrick will join me as well as Christian, and Christian said he would also bring a few guys for security to help me feel more comfortable that Boyce will not get anywhere near me. Carrick mentioned we could get a restraining order too but that would lead Boyce right to me. As long as he doesn't know where I am, I can live freely without fear. And it's about time I stop thinking about my past and worrying he'll find me, letting it consume me. I'm going to focus on my future with my new family. It's been 5 months since I left him, I need to let my past go.

So now all the Greys know of my past, they know I ran away from my abusive husband and that is how I ended up here. They didn't ask too many questions about my past, which I'm thankful for, and they didn't ask what my name was, because to them I am Ana. Christian knows my legal name because I told him on our first date and Carrick knows because he's going to represent me in my divorce. I've also told Carrick about Boyce being a detective and how his buddies ignored what happen, how I called for help and all they did was make matters worse. Carrick was all to happy to write down anyone's name in the Detroit Police Department who turned a blind eye.

After meeting with Carrick and Christian in Carrick's office, we let Mia know that I will no longer be working at her restaurant. She understood completely, knowing her brother wouldn't want me to work. I was happy to announce that I would be a focusing on writing. It's always been a dream of mine and Christian said he knew a couple publishing houses in Seattle that we could talk to when it's time and I'm ready to publish.

My life now is everything I could've ever wished for and more. I just wish there was some way to repay Christian and Teddy for all they have done for me.

We've arrived back home yesterday and I still need to get Christian's gift from Kate without Christian knowing what I'm doing. She couldn't give it to me in Seattle because Christian would know or at least be suspicious of what was in the packages. I told Kate to take it to my cottage in the woods and I would just pick it up from there.

Since Christian is hanging out with Elliot and Taylor, while I made up the excuse that I wanted to shop for baby items, I'm on my way to pick it up now.

Christian dropped me off at the shopping center downtown where all the main stores are, to go along with my excuse of shopping and also because it's much closer to my old place than walking from his. I will buy a few things, so it looks like I did do what I said I was doing and he wont ask about the lone package that will be blended with others, but I'm wanting to get his birthday gifts first before I do any shopping.

The security Christian hired for me in Seattle is no longer with me since we've returned home, so it's just me and the pavement.

As I walk down the gravel road that leads to my cottage, I start to think how much I'll miss this old place. Yes, it is a little run down, but it was my home. A place I called my own. I'll need to tell the landlord that I'm moving out completely. I no longer have anything here since I grabbed my runaway bag last week and it, along with everything else, is at Christian's place.

My cell phone -that Christian gave back to me- rings in my pocket so I pull it out and check the caller ID. It shows Kate is calling so I answer her call.

"Hey, Kate."

 _"Hey,"_ She greets me back. _"Christian said you were shopping downtown. I'm here, where are you? We could shop together."_

Of course Christian told her I was shopping, he has a way of making me feel safe, and what better way to feel safe than to be with someone I trust. Kate. If I'm not with Christian, I'm with her. She's a great friend to me. I'm sure Christian doesn't want me to be lonely and he is doing whatever with Elliot, so he told Kate to meet up with me. Gosh, I love this man.

Before I can say anything, Kate continues.

 _"I can wait until you find out the gender, we'll have a lot of shopping to do then, and Mia loves shopping too. I remember when we found out that Ava was a girl, Mia went almost as crazy as she did when we found out about Teddy. Of course we went crazy over Teddy, him being the first baby into the family, but can you blame us? We love shopping."_ She giggles. _"Do you guys have any names picked out yet?"_

"Speaking of Mia, you're starting to sound like her." I giggle as I make it to my old front porch. I smile at the new porch that Christian put in for me over a month ago, because I've barely used it since I've been staying with him, but I loved sitting out on the porch on my days off. I've never really gotten a chance to enjoy the new porch.

 _"Sorry,"_ Kate apologizes as I push open the door to my cottage. The door is still unlocked and cracked open from when I left it like this a week ago, when Christian wanted me to leave and I ran. I didn't bother locking up, just grabbing my bag and running, never to return.

 _"I'm just so excited!"_ Kate brings me from my bad memories. _"I know Mia and Grace are too. Where are you, I'm just getting out of my car so we can meet up wherever."_

"I'm actually at my place, I wanted to pick up that special package for Christian that you dropped off here."

 _"Oh, you should've told me. Instead of dropping it off there I could've kept it and just gave it to you now."_

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking. Um. Where did you put it?"

 _"Oh the porch,"_ Kate says. _"I didn't have a way to get into the house so I just put it on the porch near the door."_

"Oh," I didn't see it when I walked up. I'll have to check again, maybe I missed it. "Okay. Well, I'll grab it and meet you downtown."

 _"Do you want me to pick you up?"_

"No, I'm fine." It's not that far. It's one of the reasons why I liked this place, it's close to everything, within walking distance at least, and I could use some fresh air.

 _"Okay. Well, I'll see you soon. Call me if you need a ride."_

I hang up with Kate and I'm about to check the front porch again but when I look up, I see the package sitting on my small kitchen table.

Kate said she left it outside because the door was locked, but I never locked the door when I left last week. I guess Christian could've, he said he came here looking for me before he found me talking to Kate near the park... But that doesn't explain why the door was open just now. Maybe Kate was wrong and she didn't leave it on the porch because the door _was_ open. But then why would she say it was locked? How did it get in here if Kate said she left it outside?

A chill runs through my body and every hair stands on end.

* * *

 **Boyce-pov**

This wasn't his first trip to this piece of shit town. Two weeks after the phone message, he was finally able to get weekends off from work after trading hours with another co-worker. Every chance he got, he made the long trip to Washington, trying to find her.

The first time he couldn't find her anywhere. He searched the area high and low, even waited outside of Mama Mia's all day, not wanting to go inside to be spotted, but he couldn't find his wife. He was afraid she had ran again before he could get to her, it's happened too many times before. He would show up and she would be gone.

He left Washington, having to get back to work, but decided to return the next weekend.

That's when he finally saw her, but she wasn't alone.

He saw her with a pretty blonde. He followed them around all day, waiting for a chance to talk to her, but she was never left alone for more than a second. Every so often Dakota would look around and he would have to hide from her line of sight. He saw her shiver a few times and he knew it wasn't because she was cold. He wondered if she could feel him near.

Continuing to watch her from afar, he saw her with a man and a young boy. The man couldn't keep his hands to himself and it had Boyce seeing red.

 _She was his wife, damn-it, why was another man putting his hands on his wife!_

Dakota was never left alone for more than a second. The only way to her was through them and that would make a scene. Instead of approaching her around these people, he stayed in the shadows and watch her interact with them. He didn't want her to know he was there, that he found her, and he definitely didn't want whoever she was with to help her get away from him again. The longer he watched the man with his wife, the angrier he became. They looked to be involved, but he couldn't be sure.

He left empty handed again because he could never get close enough to her or find a way around them before he had to leave. He did not want his co-workers and friends to know his wife left him, it was too embarrassing, so he continued the charade that everything was normal. Dakota would be back with him soon enough and then they could host a party to show everyone that everything was fine before they moved again.

This was his third and final trip to Washington; he wouldn't leave without her this time, of that he was sure of. Boyce did not want to wait any longer to bring his wife home where she belonged now that he knew where she was. He no longer had to work since he had been fired, so he could stay in town for as long as he needed, but he didn't plan on staying long at all. Sooner or later she would be on her own and he could talk with her privately. He could apologize to her and she would forgive him like always and everything would be okay again. Of course, he wanted to punish her for leaving him, but if she came back willingly, if he didn't have to force her, he would let it slide.

As he drove, he thought about the wanted sign fiasco that accord just hours earlier which caused his termination. Another event caused by her. First his book deal and now his job. If she never ran, none of this would've happened, it was all her fault. _It was always her fault_.

After leaving the town the second time, he was worried she would leave before he was able to grab her. He decided if Dakota was wanted, they would send her back to him, back to Detroit without question. What better crime than murder. It wasn't really a lie, she did stab him that night, maybe she was attempting to murder him.

Boyce was able to produce a legitimate wanted sign since he worked for the police department and he sent it to the police department of the town she was at.

His hope was the police there would see it, arrest her and send her back to Detroit, not that he would be fired for doing it.

 _"Why did you do it?" His captain asked, the original fax sitting on the desk between them. It was still warm, having just been faxed over. His captain caught him just as he hit send._

 _"I had to find her." He finally came clean. He told his captain that Dakota left him, but not why._

 _"Not like this!" His captain growled, angry at his detective. "For fuck's sake, Boyce, you abused your power as an officer of the law!"_

 _His captain was upset. Never in all his years with the force had something like this happened._

 _He heard about the call Dakota made a few months back, but he assumed it was resolved, that it was just a misunderstanding between the two and that Boyce and Dakota had worked it out since Dakota was still with him and she didn't further the complaint by pressing charges. Boyce would've lost his job if she had. The captain didn't respond to the call, another detective did, but he was informed that Dakota dropped the complaint. Just another everyday domestic dispute, he was told. She seemed fine every time the captain saw her, happy even, always smiling. So he was sure they worked out whatever issue they had months back and they never received another call from her._

 _The captain took a deep breath to calm himself before he continued._

 _"Why didn't you say Dakota left you?"_

 _"I was embarrassed." Boyce finally admitted. "I didn't want anyone to know that my wife ran away from me. But I have to talk to her, I have to see her. This was the only way I could think of since she wont answer my calls and you wouldn't give me the time off so I could talk to her in person." He lied. He never called her because he didn't know her number and he has been to the small town twice before, he just couldn't get her alone the one time he saw her. This was the only way he could think of to get to her without causing a scene in that town._

 _"Are you drunk?" His captain accused him._

 _"No." He scuffed as if he was offended that his captain would suggest such a thing._

 _The truth was he had been drinking -he was an alcoholic but nobody knew- and he had been drinking more and more since Dakota left him._

 _"Why did she leave you?" The captain ignored his answer, knowing he was intoxicated. "Is it because of the drinking?"_

 _"She didn't fucking leave me!" Boyce shouted, coming to a stand, becoming more and more agitated with this bullshit._

 _Dakota wouldn't leave him, not forever, she needed him. She was just upset, she'd come back home soon. He knew she would, she always came back._

 _"For fuck's sake, Boyce, your wife isn't coming home! It's been over a month since anyone's seen her!"_

Boyce scowled at his captain.

How dare he say Dakota wasn't coming home. Fuck him!

"I received anonymous complaints that you were hitting Dakota, is that true? If it's not the drinking, is it because you hit her?" The captain asked Dakota about it after receiving the first complaint, given to him by neighbors, but Dakota assured him everything was fine. "It obviously has to be because of something you've done if she ran away from you. I knew I should've checked into the complaint further but I thought I knew you, and Dakota said everything was fine. Did you hurt her?"

 _Boyce, still standing, stomped towards the door, done with the conversation and the accusations being thrown at him._

 _His captain called him back before he could leave the office, "Boyce..."_

He was fired on the spot, with the captain demanding for his gun and badge saying internal affairs would be in touch soon.

 _Fuck internal affairs, they wouldn't be returning to Detroit. At least with him being fired it left him with plenty of time to find Dakota_.

And that's the first thing he did after leaving the police department. He didn't bother going home, his bags where already in the trunk, he just got in his car and started driving.

He could stay in Washington as long as he needed now, no longer having to worry about getting back to Michigan in time for work. He could take his time and once he finally got her back they would move somewhere more secluded, somewhere where people would mind their own fucking business and stay out of his.

He was only driving for a few hours, but he decided to call ahead to the restaurant to make sure she was there this time.

 _"Mama Mia's, this is Lilly."_ A girl answered cheerfully, her voice coming through his car's speakers.

"Hello, I was wondering if you could help me." He said in a charming tone. "I'm looking for someone. A girl. I believe she's a waitress there."

He wasn't sure if she was or not, but Mama Mia's was where she called from so he assumed she did work there.

 _"Sure, what's her name?"_

"Eh-" Well, he figured she wasn't using the name Dakota Fox, he tried to track her down through her name and came up empty, so he decided to give her appearance instead. "She's a brunette, thin, very petite, and very beautiful."

 _"Ana?"_ The girl, Lilly asked.

Ana was the name he heard on the phone message -it was some kid in the background- but could this Ana be his Dakota?

"Yes, Ana." He agreed, it was a guess but maybe Ana was Dakota.

 _"Yeah, she works here, b-"_

"That's great," He interrupted the girl. "Is she there now?"

 _"No, she's not on until the lunch shift today, I'm sorry."_

"But she will be there."

 _"Yeah,"_ Lilly confirmed. _"in about an hour or so."_

Boyce was on his way to the airport, it was only a few hours flight. He would arrive while she was still working her shift. But it wasn't until now that he realized he wouldn't be able to fly. He flew to Washington the previous times he's been there, it's a lot quicker, but since he no longer had his badge, he wouldn't be able to get his personal gun passed airport security.

 _FUCK!_

He pulled his car over of to the side of the highway and tried to think.

Having no choice, he would have to drive. But how long would that take, from Michigan to Washington?!

Boyce activated his GPS, putting in the location needed. It showed him exactly how long it would take him to get there; over 36 hours until he reached his destination.

 _"Hello? Sir?"_ Lilly was still on the line.

Instead of answering her he hung up.

Putting his car back in drive, he continued along the highway following the GPS's directions instead of going to the airport.

It would take him longer to get there, but he'd get there.

 **...**

Along the way he switched cars, trading his for a different make and model that she wouldn't recognize. He rented a car the previous two times he was there since he flew, but this time he had his car and if she saw it before he saw her, she would most likely run again before he was able to find her.

 **...**

When he arrived at the restaurant the next day, Dakota wasn't there. He didn't ask for her, or Ana, he just sat out in the parking lot and watched the restaurant all day.

He didn't get any sleep, driving straight through, so he ended up falling asleep in the parking lot that first day.

He knew he needed a place to stay, because he wasn't leaving until he had her, but he also knew people in a small town talk. Previously, he only stayed in town one day before he had to turn around and fly back home, so nobody noticed him. This time he would stay as long as he needed to, which meant people would notice and would want to know who he was and why he was here, and that could get back to Dakota.

With a hotels/motels not an option, he decided to sleep in his car, but he needed a secluded spot to park.

Driving around, he found a gravel road through some trees. He followed the path that lead to a run-down shack in the middle of the woods. It looked abandoned, perfect for him, nobody would come here meaning nobody would see him.

Thankfully the door was left open. He had no key to lock up but there was a 2x4, and the L brackets placed on the door allowed him to lock up at night or when he left. He would use the back entrance to come and go. There were no personal belongings there, only a mattress on the floor in the only bedroom that was only big enough to fit a twin bed and a small dresser, a small kitchen table with two chairs in the open floor plan, and a small loveseat in the living area. It was surprisingly clean for an abandoned place.

And that's were he stayed that last few days.

Each day he would drive to Mama Mia's before the restaurant opened, parking as far away as he could, and he wouldn't leave the parking lot until closing, drinking the whole time. Eventually he had to shop for groceries, necessities and more alcohol. He was thankful the utilities were still on at the piece of shit shack he was staying in. He was sure it belonged to a hunter so he never kept his belongings there while he was gone, keeping them in the trunk of his car instead, incase the owner returned.

As the days passed, he became more and more angry.

 _Where was she?! It's been a few days and she's still not showing up for work, why?!_

Finally fed up with waiting, he decided this time he would go inside and ask what the fuck was going on.

Boyce stepped out onto the front porch to finish his morning coffee before he left, and there, near the door, was a dark blue bag.

He looked up and around but saw no one.

 _Perhaps someone in town found out he's been staying here and this is a welcome gift. Fuck! Now he'll have to find somewhere else to stay._

He picked up the package and placed it on the small kitchen table, not wanting whatever cheesy gift was inside, and then left out the front.

Since he wouldn't be returning, he left the door open.

After driving to the restaurant, he waited inside his car until the employees started to arrive for work; he had to wait until they opened.

Just like the previous days, there was no sign of Dakota.

He waited a few extra minutes until he couldn't stand it any longer. Throwing his car door open and then slamming it closed once he was out, he stormed up to the front doors of Mama Mia's.

Entering the restaurant, he looked around for his wife. He didn't see her enter through the front, but maybe there was a back entrance she used.

A girl approached him, LILLY written on her nametag, obviously the same girl he spoke to a few days earlier.

"May I seat you, sir?" She asked him politely.

He thought about sitting, he would be able to scan the restaurant for Dakota, but she might spot him before he sees her and run. He just really needed to find her before she saw him.

"No," He declined. "I'm looking for Da- Uh- I mean, Ana. I'm looking for Ana."

Lilly didn't seem to notice his slip-up.

"I'm sorry, Ana quit this morning."

"Quit?!" He barked causing Lilly to jump- She didn't know why he was so angry but his sudden outburst frightened her.

 _Fuck!_ _Did that mean she left this piece of shit town already?!_ _FUCK!_

"Where does she live?!" Boyce snapped at the girl, perhaps he could find Dakota before she left.

"I- I don't know, sir, I think she's been staying with Mia's brother."

So she was seeing someone... _the man who couldn't keep his fucking hands to himself?_

"Where does he live?" Boyce tried to control his temper this time.

"I'm sorry, sir, we are not allowed to give out that kind of information." She was stern and holding her own against the strange man.

Even if she could, she wouldn't tell him anything anyway. Her gut was telling her something was wrong here, this man was trouble with a capital T.

Boyce growled as he walked out.

He saw Lilly run off and grab a phone. _Great! That's all he fucking needed!_

Boyce began driving around town, hoping to find her, hoping to see her, anything.

And as luck would have it, he spotted her. His beautiful wife was walking down a gravel road that lead to the shack he had been staying in.

He knew he couldn't drive down the road behind her or she would hear him, so he pulled over and hid his car as best as he could between the trees and bushes.

He waited and watched as she walked. The natural swing of her hips was getting him hard. It's been 5 fucking months since he fucked his wife; always for his pleasure. He wanted so badly to burry himself inside of her... But first things first, he had to get her away from this town.

Quietly, he opened the car door and got out to follow her, being sure to hide behind the trees. Such a remote location, nobody for miles and the trees gave good coverage.

Dakota's phone rang so she pulled it out and began to talk. Her being on the phone helped muffle his footsteps. As she spoke, he wondered why she would need a phone and who she was talking to. Perhaps it was those fucking neighbors! Or worse, that fucking man she's been hanging around, the man she's been staying with according to Lilly at the restaurant.

He listened in as best as he could but from the distance they were currently at, he could hardly hear anything.

"No, I'm fine," Her beautiful voice said to the caller before she hung up.

She was now inside the shack- he didn't understand why she was there, but he didn't care.

Looking up, she saw the package he left on the table. He saw her whole body go stiff and he knew it was time to make his presence known.

In stealth-mode, and thanks to the new wooden porch, he came up behind her without her hearing him approach.

"I found you." He said to her back, happy that she was within his reach, happy to take her home, happy to have her back.

 **Apov**

The cellphone slips from my hand, dropping onto the hardwood floor almost like it's in slow motion. The sound it makes is so loud it echoes. I'm surprised I can hear it over my heart beating so loud and too fast. Blood rushes to my ears and my spine tingles all the way up to my scalp. My body is naturally on high alert and is shaking like a leaf in a tornado as adrenaline flows through my veins.

I swallow hard and prepare myself... for what, I don't know.

Slowly, I turn around to face the man I never wanted to see again.

"Boyce..." I whimper, my voice shaky, when I finally face the devil himself.

I'm so terrified, more so than I have ever been. Christian doesn't know I'm here, he thinks I'm shopping downtown. Thankfully Kate knows, but by the time she suspects something... anything could happen. Another shiver runs through me at the thoughts of what he could possible do. His promise to kill me if I ever ran from him again comes to mind.

"I missed you." He smiles, stepping closer to me.

Instinctively I step back out of his reach, hitting my butt against the wall as I do. My body is tense as the wall holds me up.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you home." He answers confused.

"I am home." I tell him sternly.

"What? You mean here? In this piece of shit rundown shack?" He scowls at me now, realization dawning on him. "Or do you mean with him?"

 _Holy fuck, he knows about Christian?! How long has he known? How long has he been here?!_

"He doesn't love you like I do."

"You're right, he doesn't." I lift my chin in defiance.

"Don't say it like that." His eyes squeeze shut like he's in pain.

From the corner of my eyes, I see him clenching his fists. When he opens his eyes again, I can see the rage behind them.

 _Don't make him angry,_ I tell myself. _Don't bring up Christian._

"I know you want to come home."

"If I wanted to be with you, if I wanted to stay, I never would've left."

"Why? I don't understand why you ran away from me."

"Are you serious? How could you not know why, how can you not understand why I left. You hurt me!"

"I know." He winces like he was the one who was in all that pain too many times to count.

How the hell am I going to get away from him? He's blocking my way out and even if I got passed him there's no way I could out run him. I don't know how I'm going to get out of here, but I have to try something.

"You need to leave." I tell him instead of fighting my way out. I'm pregnant, I can't put my baby at risk.

It takes everything I have not to naturally protect my baby by placing my hand on top of my stomach. I wouldn't want to give it away that I'm expecting a baby, that I'm pregnant, and by another man no less. I can just imagine the horrible things Boyce would do if he found out.

"I can't leave without you."

"Yes, you can, because I'm not going with you."

"You're my wife!" He argues.

"I want a divorce." I bravely tell him. "I never should've married you, it wasn't right. I've already spoken with a lawyer who is in the process of handling everything. I don't want anything from you so it wont be long until we are no longer married."

"Marriage is 'til death do us part, you know that right." He growls at me. "You really think a piece of paper is going to tell me that you are no longer mine?"

He takes another step toward me but I have nowhere left to go, my back is already against the wall.

"So," He lifts his hand, placing some of my hair behind my ear before roughly grabbing ahold of my chin so I'm looking into his cold, hard eyes. "You still want me to leave?"

"Yes." It comes out as a whisper.

To my surprise he nods his head and begins to retreat.

"You're going to regret this." He threatens me as he backs away.

"No I wont."

I wait for him to leave completely before I take off running out the back.

I run as fast as I can through the trees instead of taking the gravel road. It's one of the reasons I chose this place over the limited others I had as an option; if I had to run, I could run through the trees and blend in so it would be harder to see me. I know I'm not the world's fastest runner, but the tress and brush give me an advantage.

As I run, I look back to see where he is, hoping he's not following me. Thankfully he's not.

Hiding behind a tree, I watch as he opens the trunk of a car and takes something out. I can't see what it is clearly from the distance but I have an idea.

I'm exhausted and panting, feeling as if I'm going to be sick. I have to get out of here.

As I feel for my cell phone, needing to call Christian, I find that my pockets are empty. It's now that I remember I dropped my cellphone on the kitchen floor when Boyce walked in.

"Shit!" I hiss quietly.

With Christian so far away and no way of calling him or even Kate- _Kate!_ She's shopping downtown, it's not that far from where I am now.

Turning around, I start running again in the direction of the downtown shopping center.

Once I feel I'm a safe distance away, I start to walk at a fast pace through the forest-like trees instead of running. I try to breath through my nausea, not wanting to stop completely even if it is to throw up.

When I make it to the main part of the shopping center, I start frantically looking for Kate. I'm not sure which of these stores she'd be in but I'd guess it would be a baby depot of some sort since she was excited to start baby shopping.

Thankfully, after a couple minutes of looking, though it felt as if it were hours, she walks out of a store.

"Kate!" I run towards her.

"Hey, there you are." She smiles at me, not knowing anything is wrong.

"Can I use your phone?" I ask in a panic. "I have to call Christian."

"Yeah, sure," She hands it to me, now sensing something isn't right. "What's going on?"

"I need Christian," I say as I enter his number. "I don't have time to explain, but I have to go home. Can you give me a ride?"

"Of course," She looks in her purse and curses, "Shit, I must have left my keys on the counter. My car is over there, I'll be right back."

I nod and follow towards the direction she pointed and call Christian as I make my way towards Kate's car.

 _"Grey."_ He answers on the second ring.

"Christian!" I cry out in a mixture of panic and relief. I'm so happy I didn't get his voicemail this time. "He's here, he's here, he found me and he's here."

 _"Ana?"_ He asks confused since I'm using Kate's phone. _"Baby, slow down, I can barely understand you. What is going on? Who is where?"_

"Boyce!" I shout at him. "He's here! Boyce is here! He's here, Christian, he's here!" _  
_

 _"Are you sure?"_ He asks calmly. _"Baby, he wasn't here the last time-"_

"Christian, I've _seen_ him! I've _spoken_ to him!" I interrupt him before he can bring up the situation with Don, the hairdresser that caused us to leave town for the week.

 _"WHAT?! Where?!"_ He demands to know, now realizing this is not a drill _. "Where are you?!"_

Before I can answer him, someone grabs me from behind.

I try to scream but their hand comes over my mouth so it comes out muffled. I try fighting them off and in the process I end up dropping Kate's phone.

 **...  
Kate-pov**

"Thanks." I tell the cashier who held my keys for me while I stupidly forgot them on the counter.

I make my way back outside, but I don't see Ana anywhere. I shrug it off thinking she's waiting for me at my car. But, as I make my way there, I see my phone laying on the ground. The screen is cracked and I'm surprised that it's still on and working. Ana wouldn't do this on purpose so she must've accidently dropped it.

 _Then where is she?_

Looking around and not seeing Ana, or anyone else, I bend down to pick up my phone. As I do, I can hear a someone yelling.

 _"Ana! Ana!"_ I hear Christian and a lot of other noises in the background. _"Baby, answer me! ANA!"_

"Christian?"

 _"Kate! Where is she?! Where is Ana?!"_

"I- I don't know. What is going on? We were supposed to meet up and shop but when she got here she-"

 _"What the fuck do you mean, when she got there,"_ He interrupts me _. "I dropped her off at the shopping center this morning."_

"She went to her place first, she left something there." I tell him, not wanting to spoil the surprise that she was picking up his birthday gift. "When she got here, she asked for my phone and a ride home, but I forgot my keys in the store and when I came back out, she was gone. My phone was on the ground and I don't know where she is."

 _"Fuck!"_ Is the last thing I hear before he hangs up.

"Ana?" I call her name as I look around but she doesn't answer me.


	20. Her Fight

**Cpov**

"So what are you going to do about it?" Elliot asks me.

I dropped Ana off downtown this morning then dropped Teddy of with my mother who wanted both of her grandchildren over today to help bake cookies. Since I'm not comfortable with Ana being alone and she insisted on shopping by herself, without me, I called Kate and asked her to accompany Ana, then I went to their house and grabbed Elliot.

We're hiking not to far from my place, it's one of the reasons I moved here. I came to this town accidently and fell in love with the vibe and the views. It seemed like a great place to raise Teddy, and now that we're a family; Teddy, Ana, and the new baby on the way, it's perfect.

With Ana being pregnant, and after announcing it to my family, our family, marriage seems like the next step. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but when you know, you know. But, I know that marriage not an option right now with her still being legally married to that bastard. And even though she loves me and I her, who is to say she even wants to get married again after the way her first marriage ended up. Which is why I've not brought it up... yet. Maybe we wont get married, but maybe we will, maybe some day. It doesn't matter if we're married or not, my love for her, and her love for me, doesn't change.

I was surprised, though, that she spoke with my father about helping her in a divorce and that she told him about her past. It's one step closer to us being together freely.

My family has asked me about Ana's past but that wasn't my story to tell. So I'm glad she volunteered the information without feeling forced to do so.

As suspected, my family was understanding of her situation.

"Well, dad is going to help her with the process of divorcing him, obviously." I answer Elliot. "If she needs to go there for court or whatever is needed to divorce him, we'll hire security. Other than that, I'm not really sure. I'd like to beat him to a pulp, give him a taste of his own medicine, maybe hide the body."

"I have plenty of available properties that could use a new patio." El says in all seriousness to my joke. Though I know he'd be willing to help me if needed, just not to that degree.

"You should hire a hitman." He suggests going on and on about movies with hitmen. So it seems Elliot is willing to help to _that_ degree.

"The problem is finding him. I've had my guy Ryan sitting on his house for about a week, but he hasn't been home once."

"Well, then I think we need to make a trip there to cover more ground. I'm sure you'd like to be the one to knock his teeth in but I wouldn't mind getting my hands dirty. Where's she from again?"

"Detroit." I scuff at the name. _Fucking Detroit_.

"What a coincidence." Elliot laughs.

"Yeah, and you'll never believe who her neighbors-"

My phone ringing stops me from continuing. When I check the caller it says _KATE._

"Grey." I answer in my usual greeting.

 _"Christian!"_ It's not Kate I hear on the other end but my Ana.

I pull the phone away to check that I did read _KATE_ correctly and not _MY BABY_ , like I could ever confuse the two, but it does say _KATE._

Ana is talking frantically so I put the phone back to my ear and the last thing I hear her say is, _"...here."_

"Ana?" _Why is she using Kate's phone and not hers?_ "Baby, slow down, I can barely understand you. What is going on? Who is where?"

 _"Boyce!"_ She shouts at me. _"He's here! Boyce is here! He's here, Christian, he's here!"_

This fucking bastard is haunting her and I don't like it. Last week it was the hairdresser, what is it this week, the goddamned mailman. She can't have a moments peace with this fucker running around, perhaps I should consider Elliot's suggestion. Or maybe I should hire Sawyer full time as her security to help her feel safe when she is not with me. It's not needed, though. Boyce Fox has no way of knowing where Ana is. But if it brings her peace-of-mind, I'll gladly hire him full time.

"Are you sure?" I try to calm her down. "Baby, he wasn't here the last time-"

 _"Christian, I've_ seen _him! I've_ spoken _to him!"_

"WHAT?!" I snap.

 _WHAT THE FUCK?! She's SEEN him?! She's SPOKEN to him?! How is that possible?! He got close enough to see her, to speak with her... to touch her?_

"Where?! Where are you?!" I ask as I make my way down the trail, Elliot following, unsure of what is going on but hot on my heels.

Elliot nearly plows into me when I suddenly stop. Hearing the loud scream of Ana on the other end of the phone has my heart in my throat.

"Ana?" I choke out.

She doesn't answer me. I check the call to make sure it's still connected, and it is, so I try again.

"ANA?!"

"What's going on?" Elliot finally asks, still clueless of the situation.

"He's here. I think he has her."

"WHAT?!"

We now race to my house where our vehicles are parked. I'm still yelling into the phone for her to answer me.

"You want me to follow you, or ride with?" Elliot asks once we reach our cars.

"Get Taylor." I order my brother. "Call him, go to him, I really don't give a fuck how you get him but get him. I don't want to break the connection."

We hop in at the same time, doors slamming closed before we take off in opposite directions.

I can handle Fox on my own but once I kill the bastard, I'm going to need help. If, by some miracle, I don't kill him, Taylor can arrest his ass.

As I drive towards downtown, I place my phone in the holder that allows me to use my hands-free and continue trying to get a response from Ana, hoping she got away somehow.

"Ana! Ana!" I shout like it's a mantra while I drive at top speed.

"Baby, answer me!" I beg for her to respond. "ANA!"

 _"Christian?"_ I finally hear someone. My heart sores until I realize it's not the voice I wanted to hear.

"Kate! Where is she?! Where is Ana?!"

 _"I- I don't know. What is going on? We were supposed to meet up and shop but when she got here she-"_

"What the fuck do you mean, when she got there," I interrupt her. "I dropped her off at the shopping center this morning."

 _"She went to her place first, she left something there..."_ Why the fuck didn't she tell me, I would've taken her there first before dropping her off downtown. And what the fuck does she have left there?! _"When she got here, she asked for my phone and a ride home, but I forgot my keys in the store and when I came back out, she was gone. My phone was on the ground and I don't know where she is."_

"Fuck!" I pound on my steering wheel and end the call.

 _How the fuck did he find her?! How?!_

I arrive at the downtown shopping center, and as I do, I see Kate looking around as she paces the sidewalk.

Pulling my car over, not bothering to park correctly, I hop out and run towards her.

"Where?" I ask.

"My phone was over there." She points to the ground.

I run my fingers through my hair, pulling it as I do.

There's an alleyway nearby that leads to the back of the stores. He could've taken her down it to avoid being seen.

"Stay here, get inside your car and lock the doors, Taylor and Elliot are on their way." I tell Kate before running down the alley.

When I reach the end, I'm completely shocked with what I see.

"You better back the fuck off," The strange man standing in front of my girl, who is holding a gun, growls at me. "If you don't leave this girl alone, I'll personally kick my foot so far up your ass you'll be spitting teeth. You better believe I will kill you and make sure your body is never found. Don't fuck with a man who has nothing left to live for, you sick son-of-a-bitch!"

"Ana?" I ask, completely and utterly confused as to what the fuck is going on.

* * *

 **Apov**

I scream but his hand is covering my mouth so it comes out muffled. He moves us away from the front and out of public view, towards the back of the shops. I really don't know what he's planning to do to me but I can guess and it has me fighting against him with every once of strength I can muster.

When he slams me up against the wall, still holding onto me so I wont run, I have no way of getting away.

Looking up at him, I realize... it's not Boyce who has me. It's another man I've never met or seen before.

My struggling ceases at the confusion and he finally removes his hand from my mouth.

"Who are you?" I ask him.

"The question is, who are you and what are you doing with my daughter's identity?"

"Daughter?" _Shit, is he..._

"Yes, Anastasia Rose Steele was my daughter and I want to know who you are and what you are doing going around and portraying yourself as her."

"I- I'm sorry." I say, still in shock.

"I don't take kindly to people tarnishing my daughter's name," He growls, "If this is some sort of sick game, you better stop it right now."

"N- no, sir. I- I'm so very sorry for your loss, please forgive me, but-" I might as well tell him of my situation, I am using his daughter's name after all. "You see, I meant no harm in using your daughter's identity. My husband would beat me, pretty badly in fact, and when I finally decided enough was enough I left him. But I couldn't go through the court and do so legally, he'd kill me, so like the coward I am, I ran. I needed a new identity so he wouldn't be able to find me, so I looked up obituaries in the library and googled how to do it. That's why I used her name."

When I'm finished explaining myself and my situation, I bow my head down in shame, no longer able to face her father.

He finally lets me go, stepping back to look at me. He looks sad and tired, and much older than he is, I'm sure.

"You look like my Annie." He tells me sadly.

I know _,_ but I keep quiet. It is one of the reasons why I chose Anastasia Steele. We are of similar age, similar looks, and nobody would be the wiser. _Unless you are a billionaire with a crush and you do a background check on your love interest._

"I didn't know she had any family." I tell him honestly. No one was mentioned in her obituary and it said her father died when she was a baby. Maybe she was adopted after he died?

"I'm not her biological father," He confirms. "But I'm her dad nonetheless."

"I understand completely." It's how I feel about Teddy. I'm not his biological mother but he is my baby.

"I'm sorry," He apologizes to me. "I didn't mean to scare you, it's not who I am. A buddy of mine who I was in the Army with said someone ran a background check on Annie recently. I brushed it off as nothing but then a doctor's notice came through next. It gave me your address. ... She was all I had."

"How- how did she... How did she die? If you don't mind me asking," I know I shouldn't ask, but Anastasia Steele was so young.

"Her boss."

"Her boss?"

"He killed her." He explains, "Annie just graduated college and got her first real job at Seattle Independent Publishing, working as an assistant for an editor. About a week in, the editor she was working for said they had a conference in New York. Annie was so excited, she always wanted to see New York." He smiles sadly before he glares again, this time not at me but the memory. "Apparently this guy is a serial rapist. He did it to all his previous assistants but nobody said anything and he was a valuable employee so they kept him on without looking into why he had so many assistants, all of whom quit without notice. I taught my Annie self-defense so she fought him, but since she fought back, he was rough with her..." He trails off not wanting to say anything more, not that I blame him.

"I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Steele."

He nods but stays quiet.

"What about her mother? Where is she?"

"Carla?" He scuffs, "She's no mother. She missed her own daughter's graduations because of whatever reason, giving lame-ass excuses each time. She didn't bother showing up to Annie's funeral, saying it was too hard on her, but really it was probably because husband number 15 was getting a haircut and she had to hold his hand."

On the main road we hear a car reeve up and squeal to a stop. In all the confusion of who this man was, I forgot all about my own problems.

When we hear someone running down the alleyway, I tense up thinking it's Boyce. Mr. Steele notices the change in my behavior and protectively puts his arm out, pushing me behind him. My eyes widen as Mr. Steele pulls a handgun out of a holster hidden under his jacket.

"Ana?!" I hear Christian yell for me seconds before he appears.

Mr. Steele has put himself between me and Christian, protecting me.

Christian looks confused because he knows what Boyce looks like and I'm not sure he knows what Anastasia's father looks like or not.

"You better back the fuck off," Mr. Steele warns Christian, "If you don't leave this girl alone, I'll personally kick my foot so far up your ass you'll be spitting teeth. You better believe I will kill you and make sure your body is never found. Don't fuck with a man who has nothing left to live for, you sick son-of-a-bitch!"

It's clear that Mr. Steele believes Christian is the man I'm running from.

"Ana?" Christian asks confused as to what is going on. I can see he wants to come closer, to hold me in his arms, but he's also very alert of Mr. Steele.

"Mr. Steele, it's okay," I tell him softly, putting my hand on his arm. "This is my boyfriend, not my husband." _Okay that didn't sound weird at all. It's definitely not a sentence I thought I would ever say in my life._

"Are you sure?" Mr. Steele asks me, not letting Christian near me until I confirm.

"I'm safe with him." I nod.

He lets me go so I rush to Christian who wraps me in his arms and inhales in my scent.

"Baby, what the fuck is going on?" Christian asks me, holding me close and glancing over my head at Mr. Steele before he looks back down at me again.

"Christian, this is Anastasia's father," I tell him. "He wasn't very happy with me using his daughter's name, but everything is okay now."

"Where is Boyce?" He moves on to more important matters.

"I don't know." I tell him honestly. "Hopefully he left."

"Let's go." Christian grabs my hand and leads me through the alleyway.

"Sweetheart," Mr. Steele calls to me so we stop.

I look back at him, giving him my full attention.

"If you need anything, call me." He hands me a small piece of paper with his number on it. "And if you still need it, I give you permission to use my Annie's name."

I smile at him. He's such a kind man, regardless of the fact that he scared the shit out of me moments earlier. I can tell he was a very protective father.

Letting Christian's hand go, I can hug the sweet old man and kiss his cheek, as a way to say thank you and I'm sorry at the same time.

I'm not sure if I will be using Anastasia's name anymore, now that Boyce knows... but it's still sweet that Mr. Steele is okay with me using her name.

Christian holds his hand out for me again, and I grab it.

Together we rush through the alley, to his Audi SUV.

As Christian opens the passenger door for me, I see Kate sitting in her car. She looks confused but starts her car when Christian tells her to meet us at our place.

"What's going on?" He asks once we're driving.

"I had to get something at my cottage-" I begin.

"What? What could possibly be so important that you would go to that piece of shit place, alone no less, and put yourself in harm's way."

I know he's upset at the situation I've put myself in and not with me, but it still hurts.

"Your birthday gift." I try not to cry. _Ugh, pregnancy hormones. I'm not usually this emotional_.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to snap. Tell me what happened."

I explain all that's happened; how Boyce was there, the conversation we had, how I met up with Kate, and when Mr. Steele confronted me.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" He doesn't sound as if he's blaming me, but I can hear the worry in his tone.

"I know." I grab his hand to comfort him.

"I never would've brought us back here had I known. I would've kept Sawyer on and hired more security."

"Christian, you had no way of knowing." I stop him. I've played the what-if game before and it only drove me crazy. I'm not even sure how Boyce knew where I was.

Behind us, I see Kate turn in the direction of Christian's house. Christian is in front of Kate, but he didn't turn, he just continues to drive straight.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to get Teddy and then we'll go to Seattle. We'll stay at Escala, it's safer there, just until I can figure out what to do next."

"So we're running." I nod. "I can do that, I'm good at it."

"No," He corrects me. "We're going so I can get you and Teddy safe and out of the way. Then I'll think of something, perhaps something that involves a body bag."

"I'm sorry, Christian, I'm so sorry. I knew it would come to this, I knew he would find me." I try to hold it back but everything that happened is catching up with me and the tears begin to fall.

"Baby, this isn't your fault, you have nothing to be sorry about." He tells me sternly as he kisses my knuckles. "Everything is going to be o-"

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream, interrupting him when I see a car driving full speed towards us. "Look out!"

Christian swerves to miss the car but it hits us anyway- on the rear driver's side, causing us to spin. The sound of tires squealing, crunching metal, glass breaking and grunts fill my ears. Christian tries to maintain control of the SUV while I brace myself.

When everything settles, I unbuckle so I can check on Christian who has a small cut on his hairline.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"I'll be fine," He grunts. "I'm more worried about you and the baby."

"We're alright, I'm sure." Most of the impact was on Christian's side and I don't feel any pain anywhere, so I'm sure we're fine.

I look up to see the car that hit us, to make sure whoever it was is okay. But the car is empty. My heart drops into my stomach when I recognize it as the car Boyce is using.

My door is jerked open and someone grabs my hair.

"Get out!" Boyce growls, continuing to pull me out by my hair.

Christian looks murderous as he glares after Boyce. I have never seen Christian look that menacing before, not even when he told me to leave a week ago.

"I said, get out!" Boyce orders again once we're out, this time pointing a gun at Christian. "Now!"

I watch, unable to move, as Christian climbs over the center console and gets out on the passenger side.

"You think you can put your hands on my wife?!" Boyce shouts, grabbing my hair harder. I whimper and hold onto his hand, hoping to stop him from pulling it anymore.

"Let her go." Christian demands. He's calm and not yelling, but you can hear the dominant/CEO in his tone.

"She's MY wife! I can do whatever the fuck I want to her!"

"Let. Her. Go." Christian says each word clearly.

"Or else what?" Boyce challenges Christian.

Before Christian can say or do anything, Boyce shoves me down so hard that I fall to the ground.

"There, I let her go." Boyce laughs.

Christian takes a step closer to Boyce, but Boyce holds his gun up, aiming it towards Christian to stop him.

"Did you fuck my wife?"

Christian wisely doesn't answer him.

"Get on your knees." Boyce orders Christian but Christian doesn't move.

"I said, get on your fucking knees," Boyce roars. "Do it, now!"

But again, Christian stays standing.

Boyce raises his eyebrow and tilts his head as he moves the gun slowly to me.

I watch horrified as Christian raises his hands in surrender and gets down on his knees. I know he wouldn't do it if Boyce didn't have a gun pointed at me.

"I know you've been fucking her. What kind of inconsiderate bastard fucks another man's wife?"

"What kind of man hits woman against her will?" Christian blows back.

There is nothing but hatred in Boyce's eyes as he turns the gun towards Christian now and cocks it back.

"No!" I scream before he can pull the trigger.

"What?" Boyce sarcastically asks. "You think I'm going to let him live after he's had you?"

"He doesn't mean anything to me," I quickly come up with the lie, glancing at Christian and hoping he knows that I am lying. I just need to distract Boyce long enough for Christian to make his move and gain control of this situation. If Christian has the upper hand, Boyce won't get away with this any longer.

Christian subtly nods, understanding what I'm doing so I continue.

"I don't want him, I want you." I look back at Boyce.

"You never really were a good liar, Dakota."

 _Yes, I was_.

"Please. I'm so glad you found me." I manage to sound convincing. "Take me home."

He looks at me confused, believing my words.

Boyce is momentarily distracted enough for Christian to move. Unfortunately, Boyce hears Christian, or sees him from his peripheral vision, and turns back to him.

With the gun aimed at him again, Christian stays still.

"Please!" I desperately beg Boyce.

"Dakota," He says my name exasperated. "If we're going to be together again, I have to kill him. It's the only way. He had you, he had what is mine."

Sirens in the background distract Boyce again. This is our only chance to do something, I know Christian wont let Boyce take me with him and the sirens are too far away.

Within seconds both Christian and I act. I'm closer, but I'm still on the ground so I manage to kick him. This causes him to fall, however he also pulls the trigger at the same time Christian launches himself at Boyce. The gun goes off with a loud bang followed by a man's painful groan. Christian grabs his shoulder and falls back, hitting his head on the bumper of his SUV.

I don't have time to think or process anything, the adrenaline is pumping through my veins and my fight instinct has kicked into overdrive.

Boyce has fallen to the ground and dropped the gun. I reach for it, but in the next second he is on top of me.

We fight for the gun with him still on top of me, and he looks confused as to why I'm fighting him back. I usually don't and the night I ran was the one and only time I ever fought back. But now, today, I _am_ fighting. I'm fighting for my first love, I'm fighting for Teddy who finally found a mother, I'm fighting for my baby inside my womb, and I am fighting for the girl that was raped and kill by her editor. But most importantly, I am fighting for the girl who has been abused by someone she thought she could trust. _I am fighting for me._

Somehow, in the midst of our struggle, Boyce manages to cock the gun again that is still between both of our hands.

He's so much stronger than I am, even while drunk, but it gives me a slim advantage over his strength.

The sirens are getting louder the closer they come to us so I know it wont be long before help arrives. I just have to manage to keep in what little control I do have in our struggle for the gun. Even though I know that he will go to prison for what he's done, it wont be enough to stop him. I will never be free of him unless he is never coming back.

Boyce overpowers me, moving the gun towards me. I'm trying desperately hard not to let him aim it at me and keeping it away.

There is only one way for this to end. And it is _my_ fight, not anybody else's.

"I hate you!" I scream loudly at the top of my lungs, pushing the gun further towards him instead of me.

The gun goes off again, taking one life instead of two and the fight is over.


	21. His Ending

**Kate-pov**

I was so relieved when Christian returned from behind the stores with Ana, but I still did not understand what was going on. All he said was to meet him at his house. And now that I'm following him and Ana, he doesn't turn left; the direction of his house, he goes straight. _Where is he going?!_

Trying to call Elliot for what feels like the hundredth time, because since this whole Ana-went-missing thing I've been trying to call my husband and have been getting his voicemail each time, he finally picks up.

 _"What?!"_ He snaps which surprises me. Elliot is usually a pretty mellow and calm guy, he doesn't get upset too easily.

"El?" I question him.

 _"Katie?"_ He asks, pausing and then coming back on to say, _"Sorry, babe, I didn't know who it was, I didn't look at the caller ID. I'm driving, I've gotta get Taylor and he's not answering his cell."_

That explains why he wasn't answering my calls. He's been trying to call Taylor.

"El, what is going on? Do you know? Ana went missing, Christian found her, but-"

 _"Wait, Christian has Ana?"_

"Yes."

 _"Thank fuck!"_

"You know something, don't you," I ask. "What's going on?"

 _"Ana's ex is in town."_

"Her ex? You mean, her husband? The man who abused her?"

 _"Yes. Christian said he's here and he had Ana. But if Christian has Ana now, I don't know what is going on. Maybe the guy isn't here and it was another scare. Christian said something about her being scared last week because of Don, mom's hairdresser. But I still have to get to Taylor, Christian's gonna want a plan in place, enough is enough, and Barney Fife said Taylor took a call from Lilly at the restaurant so I'm on my way there."_

"Elliot, this is all my fault." I cry. "I didn't know he was still a problem for her, I mean, I knew she was on the run but I thought she was just worrying about him finding her, not that there was a possibility that he could. I still don't understand how could he have found her. If I had know, I never would've let her out of my sight today, and I'm sure Christian wouldn't either. I knew how scared she was that he would find her and I acted as if he wouldn't. I'm such a shitty friend-"

 _"Katie, stop. I wont have you thinking like that."_ Elliot interrupts me. _"Listen, you're a great friend, you didn't know there was a potential threat because you weren't given all the details and information about it. But, understandably, Ana didn't want to talk about it. That's not on you, and it's not on her. The only person to blame here is that rat-bastard. We'll talk more about this later, I have to go. I'm at the restaurant now and Taylor's truck is here so I'll grab him and we'll meet you all at Christian's house to come up with a plan to get rid of this asshole once and for all."_

"Christian's not here." I tell him as I stay sitting in my car in front of the luxurious house. "He told me to go to his place, but him and Ana didn't make the turn."

 _"Mom has Teddy, they're probably going to get him first."_ He explains. _"Sit tight, I'm getting Taylor and we'll find Christian and Ana. This will all be over soon."_

 **...  
Apov**

With tears in my eyes, I push Boyce's lifeless body off of me. He's lighter than I thought he would be, and when I'm finally out from under him, I look up to see why.

Mr. Steele is panting and out of breath as if he just ran a marathon. He helped get Boyce's body off of me.

I know that Mr. Steele has a gun, he took it out when Christian found us, but that has me thinking if he pulled the trigger or if I did. His words he said to Christian, _"Don't fuck with a man who has nothing left to live for, you sick son-of-a-bitch."_ This poor man has been through enough and he's still here, still trying to protect me in a way he couldn't his daughter.

The sirens are blaring now and I can see flashes of blue and red.

I'm still laying on the ground, leaning up on my elbows, when Mr. Steele reaches his hands out to help me up.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Mr. Steele asks once I'm standing.

I'm still in shock, I can't think straight, so I just nod.

My eyes move to where I last saw Christian. He's still out, laying on the ground unconscious.

Rushing to him, I take off my cardigan, putting pressure on his gunshot wound near his shoulder.

"Christian?" I cry, calling to him as I brush his hair back from his eyes. "Please, please wake up. Please. Don't leave me. I love you."

I cry out with joy when he moves, although grunting in pain.

"Ana?" He grunts.

"I'm here, I'm here." I assure him.

The paramedics rush towards us and quickly work on getting Christian on a stretcher.

"Ma'am, are you injured?" One of them asks me.

"No, I'm fine, just worry about him." I brush him off, keeping my eyes on Christian since he's no longer responding.

"Ma'am, w-" He begins to protest.

"I said, I'm fine!" I snap. "If you are so persistent, you can check me at the hospital because I'm going with him."

"Ana!" I hear my name being called, when I look up, I see Elliot rushing to me. "What happened?"

"Can I explain later?" I ask him. "They're taking Christian to the hospital and I want to be with him."

"But, what happened?" He asks, looking so lost.

"My husband found me and shot Christian. And I- I did something... something bad."

"We'll talk at the hospital." I hear Taylor say behind me in a firm tone.

I turn around to face him, still a little afraid of the authority he represents, and nod.

After thanking Taylor for allowing me to go with Christian, I quickly follow the paramedics to the ambulance.

 **...  
Ray-pov**

"Who are you?" Is the question that is asked to me once the authorizes arrive.

"I'm Ana's father." I answer truthfully.

"That girl?" He points to the girl who is using my Annie's identity.

"Yes." I respond. Though this time I'm less truthful. She's using Annie's identity for a reason, and I'm sure she doesn't want anyone to know, not even the police. I'm breaking the law by lying, but right now, I don't care. As long as that girl is safe, and it seems like she is now, that's all that matters to me. But until I get the okay from her, I'm not revealing who she really is.

"And what did you see, sir?" He asks, fumbling with a little notebook and looking every bit confused.

"I followed... Ana and-" I pause to remember the girl's boyfriend's name. Christian, she said it was, so I tell the officer, "Christian. I followed Ana and Christian to make sure she was safe-"

"Why wouldn't she be safe?" He interrupts me.

"Exhibit A." I say sarcastically while pointing to the man under the white sheet. "Would you like for me to continue, or are you going to interrupt me at every turn?"

"Continue." He looks apologetic and a little intimidated, shifting from one foot to the other.

 _This guy is the town's officer?_

"Like I said, I followed them. My truck isn't all that great so I was a ways behind them when I saw that car crash into their SUV. From the distance I was at, I saw a man with a gun force them out of their vehicle, so I sped up to intervene if needed, which it was clear it was needed."

"And how would you intervene?"

I glare at him for a moment for interrupting me again with his damned questions before I pull out my IDs; conceal and carry card, my FOID card, and any other shit this dumbass might need.

"I carry." I state simply.

Before he can say anything else useless, his boss walks up to us asking who I am and what happened. Officer dipshit gives him a watered down version of what I said, and when he gets to the part that I have my gun on me, the chief of police looks at me in question.

"Listen," I begin before he says anything. "Everything happened so fast, that girl was in obvious danger. When I finally arrived on scene, they were fighting over a gun. Yes, I pulled mine out with the intention of saving her life, but their gun went off before I had a clear shot. You cannot begin to imagine what I felt, hearing that gun go off, and then the relief I felt when I saw she was still alive. It was self-defense!"

The chief, with J. TAYLOR written on his badge, regards me for a moment before he nods.

"You're free to go, Mr. Steele. We have your information, we'll be in touch if we have anymore questions."

Officer shit-for-brains looks shocked, but chief Taylor walks away without another word, going towards the girl. She's walking next to Christian, who is being wheeled towards the ambulance, while talking to another guy. This one doesn't seem to be with the police or any member of authority. I watch as the chief says something to her and then she gets inside the ambulance with Christian.

I was told I'm free to go, so I hop in my truck and follow the ambulance to the hospital.

I'm not sure why, but I need to make sure she's safe even though I know the man haunting her is dead. It's the least I can do for this girl, I couldn't do it for my Annie and I still blame myself everyday for what happened to her.

 **...  
** **Apov**

Glancing out the back window of the ambulance, I see a pickup truck following us. Looking closely, I see that it is Mr. Steele behind the wheel.

"Ana." Christian's whispering gains my attention.

 _He's awake again!_

"Hey," I smile through my tears and sniff. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been shot."

"You're going to be okay," I assure him. "I promise."

"What about you?" He asks, sounding like it's painful to speak. "The baby?"

"Your pregnant?" The paramedic who was so concerned with checking me over asks, interrupting us.

"I'm fine." I glare at the paramedic before turning my attention back to Christian. "I'm fine. The baby is okay, he didn't hurt me, but they're going to double check us at the hospital."

"Boyce?"

I shake my head.

I can't believe I killed someone, although someone who has been hurting me, and I would say deserved it, but who am I to say who deserves it or not.

"It's over." I tell Christian. "He'll never hurt anyone ever again."

Christian nods and closes his eyes.

"Christian!" I panic.

"I'm fine," He mumbles, eyes still closed. "Just resting my eyes."

The paramedics assure me he's going to be okay, so I let him rest as we make our way to the hospital.

* * *

After answering questions with the police, no charges were filed. It was self-defense, no argument there, but I still feel horrible. I know I shouldn't, but I do. It was the only way out I saw and I couldn't wait any longer for help, only for him to go to prison and be out in a matter of years so he could continue to haunt me. I was thinking about everyone, including myself, when I pulled the trigger. Now he can no longer hurt me, or anyone else, ever again.

A doctor double checked me and the baby when we arrived at the ER; we're fine, as I've said. Christian was taken straight back to the operating room, the bullet needing to be surgically removed and he was unconscious again. I'm sure they will do a CAT scan on him and that has me worried.

Mr. Steele was the first to arrive, followed by Elliot then Christian's parents. Mia stayed back to watch the kids but was still worried.

Since I was checked out, and given the all clear, they released me. In the waiting room, I let everyone know how sorry I was and what happened. Nobody blamed me but me.

As soon as the doctor came back and told us Christian was out of surgery, everyone took turns seeing him. He was still out from the anesthesia, but once they all saw he was okay, they went back to the waiting room so we could be alone. Grace kept popping back in everyone now and then to check on him, though.

Once Christian woke up, I couldn't stop apologizing. Of course he said it wasn't my fault.

After another round of visitors, this time including Kate and Mia, we're alone once again. Teddy asked about us, but we didn't want him to worry, seeing his father in the hospital, so he's going to stay the night with Grace and we'll see him once Christian is released tomorrow since he had to be kept over night because of the surgery and hitting his head. I'm just not sure yet what we'll tell Teddy of what happened.

I'm now cuddled up with Christian on his hospital bed and all I can seem to do is overthink everything.

"What are you thinking about, baby?" Christian asks, knowing that my mind is running wild with thoughts.

"I don't know who I am." I whisper as I play with the sheet on his bed that we're wrapped in.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've been going by Ana for the last few months, but my real name is Dakota. I don't feel like Dakota, she died the day I left. I'm not her, I'm this whole other person entirely, however, I don't know who. But now that it's over, and I don't have anyone to hide from anymore, I guess I have to go back to being Dakota Johnson again." No way would I ever use Boyce's last name even though it's my legal name at the moment.

"My father is a lawyer." He reminds me.

"Yeah?" I question, not really sure about this topic change. Surely I wouldn't need the divorce anymore if I'm technically a widow.

"Mr. Steele gave you permission to use Anastasia's name." He explains further, "Keep everything legal. Change your name to Anastasia."

"Can I do that?"

"I discreetly talked to my father about legal name changes. You can."

"I think I'd like that." I smile at the thought of his suggestion.

"We'll start the process first thing tomorrow morning." He tells me, kissing my head.

I hug him, being careful of his arm that's in a sling now. I wouldn't want to hurt his shoulder.

"I want to see Anastasia's grave." I say, "As a way to say thank you and pay my respects to her."

"Of course." He kisses my head again, and this time he rests his cheek against it. "We'll go whenever you want."

Since Christian was shot in his left shoulder it's difficult for him to drive, and I don't have a license. Montesano, where Anastasia Steele is buried, is a long trip so it will have to wait until Christian is healed enough to endure the long drive. I just really need to pay my respects to her and thank her in person, as weird as that sounds, that I was able to use her identity for however long I needed it so that Boyce wouldn't find me. And yet, somehow, he did, and I still don't know how.


	22. Her Name

**Apov**

 _Five Months Later_

It has been a crazy few months. I've been trying to find myself after everything that happened. I'm not Dakota anymore and I never really was Anastasia, I was just using her name. I've became Anastasia Steele legally, so I'm officially Anastasia Rose Steele, but I'm not her so I've been finding myself. I think I've finally found a balance. My name may have changed, and I'm no longer afraid, but I'm still me.

Since I've stopped working at Mama Mia's, and I still needed that sense of security, I started writing more for my book. It's a work of fiction, with a hidden truth behind it. At first I was writing to get it off my chest about my past since I didn't want to talk about it, but then it lead to me writing this book with no ending. I've finally come up with an ending and finished writing the story within the past few months. With Christian's help, it has already been published.

I use a penname, not my legal name, so nobody will know who I am. _DJ Steele_ is the name I use to publish my books. I don't wish to be famous and I don't go on any book tours or signings. I've named my first book _Safe Haven_ and I've already started writing another.

This new book is a trilogy, sort of a what if, what if Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey met sooner. She would still be alive and he would've have Teddy, but in the end it all works out. Christian is more than happy to help me with this new book since it involves him being a Dom and BDSM. We've played more with toys and such, nothing too extreme, and I think it is official to say I am addicted to my man. It helps that Teddy is in school now so Christian and I have a lot of alone time together to practice scenes. Of course, with my bump growing and the baby now moving, it's challenging at times, but Christian loves it.

Christian's birthday came and went. He loved the blue jacket and, of course, the sexy lingerie I purchased for him. Eventually, his shoulder healed and everything went back to normal.

My morning sickness soon went away along with my stress of Boyce finding me. With nothing haunting me, my pregnancy is as healthy as it could be. Teddy, and now Christian are convinced we are having a boy, and I agree, but we don't know for sure since the baby wont show us the goods on the ultrasound. We're so convinced that we are having a boy, that we haven't bothered looking at any girl names.

Thinking about what our baby will look like had me thinking of when I watched Teddy for the very first time and the lady at the store assumed Teddy was mine son. So I brought it up to Christian. That conversation was very deep but now our pasts are no longer haunting either of us. We know everything about each other.

We've been busy living our life and enjoying my freedom that I've put off going to Anastasia's grave. But the holidays are approaching and Christian is taking us to Aspen, where he has a place, and I want to visit Anastasia's grave before we leave. Everything is going well in my life for once and I need to thank the girl who made it possible.

Christian and I are in Montesano, with Taylor driving us to the gravesite now. Since Christian rehired security, though it is no longer needed, Taylor and Sawyer are now back as our CPOs full time and we are in the process of hiring a second CPO for when we are out with the children. Sawyer is with Teddy and the rest of the Greys. Since getting to know Taylor, I no longer feel afraid of the authority he once was. And he's all too happy to have Christian as his boss again.

Our family is in Bellevue since we are leaving tomorrow morning for Aspen, but I wanted to do this now -visit her grave- before I put it off for too much longer. It needs to be done, I need to pay my respects to her. If it wasn't for her name, I'm not sure what I would've done or what would've happened to me.

I've called Mr. Steele, who insists we call him Ray, to let him know we would be stopping by Anastasia's grave and he said he would meet us at the grave sight.

As Taylor pulls down the narrow lane, I see Ray's pick up truck parked up ahead.

We get out, with Taylor opening our the door, and make our way to where Ray is standing.

He lifts his head when he hears us, then gives us a grateful smile.

"I can't thank you enough, son." Ray shakes Christian's hand.

"It's the least I could do, sir."

"Ray." Ray, once again, corrects Christian.

I look on confused, wondering what they are talking about, but then I notice her headstone looks new. Brand new, in fact. Anastasia died 3 years earlier, so it wouldn't look this new. It's then that I realize, Christian must have done this for Ray. He bought a new headstone or replaced the old one. I'm not sure what was there before, if it was old or nothing at all, but it probably wasn't up to Christian's standards and he is just as grateful as I am that I was able to 'borrow' Anastasia's name for however long I needed it and currently keep it.

"I can't thank Anastasia enough," I say to Ray while looking at her grave. "I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't find anyone around my age... I wouldn't have been able to get a job.. at least not a legal job. He would've found me sooner.. I can only imagine.." I'd probably be lying in a cemetery similar to this one.

"Don't you worry yourself with the what ifs, sweetheart." Ray tells me. "It'll make you sick, trust me."

I nod in agreement because I've been there plenty of times.

"And I see that you've probably had enough sickness to last awhile." Ray nods to my noticeable bump to lighten the mood. "I've heard morning sickness is dreadful."

"It is!" I agree drastically. Though I haven't had it in such a long while, it came morning, noon and night. _'Morning sickness' my ass!_

"Do you know what you are having?"

"No." I answer, rubbing my bump. "The baby is being very stubborn and wont show the goods when we go in for our scan. Teddy insists it's a boy and I agree. He really wants a brother, though so he can be like his dad and uncle. That, and I think playing Barbies with Ava all the time is getting to him."

"What do you think, dad?" Ray jokes with Christian.

"A boy, no doubt."

I giggle because I think he's secretly scared to have a girl but he just wont say it. He assured me that whatever the gender of our baby is, he will love our baby just the same. I'm sure it's every father's fear, though. Having a little girl they want to protect always. The whole, 'not having sex until she's 30' thing is a bit hilarious. I'm not even 30 and we get down right dirty. But I think it would be adorable to see Christian interacting with our little girl. He's so sweet with Ava, Kate and Elliot's daughter. I'd like a boy, but a girl would be nice too so it doesn't matter to me what gender our baby is.

"When will you find out for sure?"

"Hopefully at Ana's next scan." Christian says seriously. "Otherwise we'll have to wait until he's born."

"Everyone wants to know now, not waiting until the birth, but I kind of like the idea of being surprised. We have the basic essentials and it wont be that hard to get the gender specific things once the baby arrives." I explain to Ray before turning to Christian. "Besides, there is no sweet talking your way into this baby cooperating and showing us the goods, no matter how amazing you are at negotiations."

"I'm sure I can figure something out so he will show us how much he and his daddy are alike." He says, fighting a smirk and losing. "Perhaps we'll call him Christian Jr."

"Christian!" I grin, scolding him for talking like that in front of Ray.

I give Ray an apologetic smile but Christian just shrugs it off and Ray laughs.

"It's so nice to see this," Ray says. "Annie never got this far in life, she never found her love, so seeing this makes me happy."

In my hormonal pregnant state, I hug him. He stiffens at first but then he relaxes and hugs me back.

After paying my respects to Anastasia, I tell Ray that I legally changed my name to Anastasia. He assures me that he's okay with it and happy that Anastasia could help.

Before Christian and I leave, we let Ray know that he is not alone, that he has a family in us and our kids would love an extra grandparent. We even invite him on our trip to Aspen for the holidays.

Raymond Steele is now a permanent part of our lives, thanks to his daughter Anastasia.

As Christian and I walk back to the SUV, I take a deep cleansing breath, really and truly breathing for the first time.

It's over.

* * *

 _Three Months Later_

I've never really given much thought to a name. We are all born and given names, it is our parents who name us, but what happens when your parents don't have a clue as to what your name should be?

I was born Dakota but I am now, and forever will be known as, Anastasia... Whether my last name stays Steele or not depends on the answer Christian gives me when I ask him one really important question that I will never and could never ask any other man. It's not traditional for the woman to ask the man this question, but I'm curious to know how he feels about it.

But it is not just my name that I have to figure out.

Life is such a funny thing. We usually take little things for granted, not realizing how very important they are. Sometimes we never imagine something happening to us, and then the next second it's happening and there is nothing you can do or say to stop it. Being a mom is one of those things for me because I never thought I would be a mother.

Teddy is amazing and I love him more than anything. I never realized how much I would love being mother until I became one. And then I gave birth to our baby.

Now here I am, sitting in the hospital bed with my baby girl in my arms as I stare at how beautiful she is. A perfect mix of her mother and father. But she has no name.

I don't want to come up with a random name, I want her name to mean something. I asked Christian why he named Teddy Theodore, and he told me because it is his grandfather's name. This is the first time Christian has said anything regarding his grandparents to me. He's been very quiet about them and I'm not entirely sure why. They've been on a curse for the holidays so I'll be seeing them tonight. They are coming to meet our baby girl, their great-grandbaby. The baby with no name.

I thought about naming our daughter after someone special, but I wasn't very close to my mother or any female figure really. I guess we could always name her after someone in Christian's family so her name means something special to at least one of us, but I can't decided and I'm running out of time. We're leaving the hospital soon but we can't leave without a name for our little girl.

Just then, someone knocks on the door and brings me from my thoughts.

Everyone is at our house, ready to congratulate and welcome our newest member, so it's probably the nurse saying we can leave as soon as we have a name for our girl.

Christian stops packing my bags to answer the door.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asks our visitor, surprised by whomever it is, obviously not the nurse.

"I can't wait a moment longer to meet this wonderful girlfriend of yours and the mother of our great grandchildren."

My breathing catches in my throat when I hear the familiar voice behind the door.

"Not to mention," Another familiar voice adds. "Your mother convinced us to sell and move, remember. We live nearby now, we wanted to surprise everyone later with the news."

My hand flies to my mouth when I think of them, and living near me again. Tears fall uncontrollably.

They walk in and stop dead in their tracks when they see me. We haven't seen each other since _that_ night. Exactly one year ago today.

"Oh my word." Grandma Trevelyan whispers in shock.

"Dakota?" Grandpa Trevelyan asks me, just as surprised to see me as his wife is.

I nod my head, unable to speak.

Grandma Trevelyan pushes passed her husband and grandson to come to my side.

"What are you doing here?" Grandma asks me, holding my head between her hands and brushing my hair back out of my eyes.

Christian takes our daughter from me so we can hug, a hug that is long overdue.

I giggle and look at Christian. He's smiling, and I think he has known all along that I knew his grandparents, which would explain the secrecy.

"I'm Christian's girlfriend." I grin at them.

 _I can't believe it, the wonderful couple who helped me escape_ him _are Christian's grandparents?!_

"Oh, my dear, sweet girl." Grandma Trevelyan cheers with tears in her eyes and hugs me again. "Thank the heavens you're safe."

The room erupts in an emotional mess.

Grandma Trevelyan told me they heard my message but thought I was just passing through town, not that I was living there and working at their granddaughter's restaurant, and definitely not dating their grandson; though we weren't dating at the time of that phone call. She said she called back, but couldn't ask for me since she didn't know if I was using my real name or not. Thinking back, I remember her calling and asking about Mia.

Christian's grandparents take turns hugging me and are now holding their newest great-granddaughter. They have her now and wont give her up.

Christian is sitting next to me on my hospital bed now as we watch his grandparents fawn all over the new baby.

"I lived next door to your grandparents in Detroit." I explain to him, even though I know he knows.

"I know," He confirms. "When I looked at the background check, I noticed the address was next to my grandparents. I figured they were the elder couple you were talking about."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Like when you found out!" I gently scold him.

"I wanted you to see each other again in person, I didn't know it would take this long." He smiles at me and then turns to look at his grandparents, who are sitting next to each other while shower our baby with attention only grandparents could give. "I always knew Theodore was a good name."

Another knock on the door brings us from our little celebration and this time I know it's the nurse.

Christian opens the door and this time the nurse does walk in.

"Well, Ms. Steele." She addresses me. "It's time for you and your little girl to go home. However, we'll need a name before you do. Have you decided yet?"

"Baby?" Christian looks at me but my attention is focused on the amazing people who saved my life. Without their help, I might have died that night and never met Christian, the love of my life, or Teddy, or any of the Greys. I owe them so much that I could never repay. But there is one thing I can do.

"I know her name." I say, pausing before I continue, "It's Phoebe."

Grandma Trevelyan pops her head up from looking at my Phoebe. Her beautiful light blue eyes are wide and wet.

"It's the least I could do," I tell her. "but it would be an honor if our daughter shared your name."

Grandma Trevelyan nods her head in agreement as she holds our little Phoebe a little closer.

Both our children are named after their grandparents and have a very strong meaning behind their names; our children are named after people who mean so much to us.

Now that our little girl has a name, we are able to leave the hospital.

Christian's grandparents follow us back to our place where everyone is waiting for us.

When we arrive everyone is quiet for the new baby's sake but still just as excited as they should be.

Mia organized the food so we don't have to worry about that. It's nothing big or fancy, just immediate family only, including Ray Steele and Christian's grandparents.

Teddy is being sure everyone washes their hands before they touch his baby sister, going around with a pump bottle of hand sanitizer for good measure. He is an amazing older brother. Even though he was disappointed at first that he didn't get the brother he wanted and that his new baby sister was too small to play with him right away, he instantly took on the role as protective big brother instantly. That, and he sees how his father and uncle treat their baby sister.

After everyone has seen the new baby, learned of her beautiful name and said their congratulations one last time, they all leave us to enjoy our first night home as a family.

Christian and I put our two children to bed; he has Teddy and I have Phoebe since she's breastfeeding and co-sleeping in our room until she's a little older. But her being a newborn, she'll wake multiple times a night. Teddy wanted her in his room, but we didn't want her to wake him so she's in our room for now.

Just as I'm laying a swaddled Phoebe in her bassinet, Christian walks in from putting Teddy down and reading his story.

I climb back in bed and watch Christian undress as I wait for him to join me. It is definitely going to be a long 6 weeks.

We cuddle up together; one of my favorite things to do with him. I love him holding me in his arms because it feels so safe, as if nothing can harm me ever again. My life is finally worth living and I couldn't be happier. There is one thing, though... Christian's never brought it up, not even once, and I know it could be something to do with my past, but what if it's not? What if he doesn't want- No. I know he loves me, I know he wants me. I know it's because of my past that he doesn't ask me about it. He's probably afraid I'll say no or freak out. But I'm ready.

"Christian," I start but stop, unsure of how to continue. What if he had something special he was planning and by me bringing it up, I'm ruining his plans by asking him. Should I even ask? I wont know until I ask him, but how do I phrase this question.

"What is it, baby?" He asks when I don't say anything more.

"Do you... do you want to get married?"

"What? Why are you asking? Did someone say something to you earlier?" He immediately beings to questions me, upset that someone might have brought it up again after he shut them down when we found out that I was pregnant. "Because you know we don't have to get married just because we have a baby if you don't want to."

"If I don't want to," I repeat. "But what about you? I'm asking if you want to?"

"I want whatever you want. Whatever you are comfortable with."

I sigh because he's not answering me. I want to know what he wants, not what I want.

"Nevermind, forget I asked."

"Baby, if you are asking if I want to marry you, the answer is yes." He tells me in all seriousness and not letting the subject go. "I've known you were it for me for quite some time, the only reason I haven't asked is out of respect for you and your past. I didn't want to be told no if I ever asked you. I know what you went through with your first husband and I didn't know how you felt about marriage after experiencing that."

"I didn't." I tell him honestly. "I didn't ever want to get married again ever again, but it's different with you. You are my lifeline, you are my soulmate, you are my everything. I want to marry you, I want to be your wife. I'm already Teddy's mother by heart but I want to adopt him and have everything be legal. I love you, Christian, more than I ever thought I would."

 _Oh, fuck tradition!_

"Will you marry me, Christian?"

I don't realize I'm holding my breath, but when his smirk grows into a massive sexy grin, I know his answer.

I became Anastasia Steele, but I am going to become Mrs. Anastasia Grey.

* * *

 **A/N: As you can tell, the story is ending. Next chapter will be the epilogue.**


	23. Dreams Come True

_._

 _ **~Epilogue~**_

 **Apov**

 _Five Years Later_

Christian and I have been blissfully happy these past five years. My new life is just as wonderful as I could've ever imagined it to be. I've been writing more and more while the kids are asleep. I love it that I have my own money and I don't really have to work that hard so I have more time for the things that matter most to me; my family. I have no deadlines and everything is stress-free.

After my first book, I started writing a trilogy of what it could've been like for Christian and Anastasia to meet under different circumstances. I decided to wait until I finished writing the third book before releasing it to be published. The response for the books blew me away. I'm still unknown, nobody has a clue who the author of my books is, but the books sales went through the roof. I, myself, am now a millionaire.

Gosh, I still remember the first time I saw someone purchase my books. Teddy and I were at the mall, shopping at a sports store for his junior tackle gear when I made a pitstop in one of the books stores to see my published books on display. Since I don't promote my work, I didn't expect the display to be empty and workers restocking the shelf when we walked in. When I saw a lady at the register with a set of my books, it was a phenomenal feeling. Though I was almost outted by my ten year old.

Blush does not even begin to cover it when Teddy asked, _"Mom, isn't DJ Steele the name on your paperwork at home for Seattle Independent Publishing?"_

Thankfully nobody overheard him. I only pray he and his siblings do not find out what is written on those pages.

Christian helped a great deal with the books, especially with the sex. After I published my set, Christian decided to publish a 'his pov' version. So far only one book has been released for his pov because I convinced Christian to return to GEH. It was obvious that he missed it, and if he toned down his hours to be home when they kids are out of school, Christian working again shouldn't be a problem. And it isn't.

Since I made more money with my book sales than I ever thought possible, and we needed a bigger place, I bought our next home. It's in Bellevue with a view of the Sound and a gorgeous meadow in the back. The best part about it is our neighbors! Grandma and Grandpa Trevelyan live right next door to us. Grace and Carrick live down the street. Kate and Elliot also made the move along with Mia who is now officially engaged to Kate's brother.

Since we have young children and it would be nice for them to actual read what I write, I started writing a children's book for them instead of erotica.

After I proposed to Christian, the next day he bought me an engagement ring with Teddy's help. He did the whole down-on-one-knee-thing saying it was his duty as a man. We got married soon after; the ceremony was small and held in our backyard at sunset. Ray even walked me down the aisle. He's become a bigger part of our lives, too.

Not long after Phoebe was born, Christian and I got pregnant again.

Our children are the loves of our lives.

Teddy is best big brother anyone could ask for and takes his role very seriously. He is very protective of his siblings and me. He is our hero when it comes to bugs, or any other critter. He loves animals, so much so that he volunteers at a shelter once a week. When it's summer vacation, he goes more often, but during school it's limited to once a week. I told Christian that Teddy is going to be a vet when he grows up.

My little Phoebe is now 5 and is in kindergarten. I can't believe how big she's gotten. She is the spitting image of her father, both Teddy and Phoebe look a lot like Christian. She is currently the only girl so she is spoiled, but not rotten. Her 8 year old cousin, Ava, is her best friend. They do everything together.

And the baby of the family is very bright. He loves books, though he can't read yet, he is still very interested in learning. And he loves numbers. Everywhere we go, he is always counting and trying to add. I keep teasing Christian that Ray is going to be his mini me and take over the GEH throne. Christian, of course, is okay with that and is happy that at least one of our children enjoys takeovers.

And then there is-

A child's giggle brings me from my thoughts.

I didn't even realize I dozed off thinking of how wonderful my life has turned out. Of course, there have been rough times, but nothing is comparable to my previous life.

Christian and I had a picnic lunch together in the meadow. Teddy and Phoebe are in school so we only have one child home home right now. While he was napping, we decided to get in a little alone time. He left to check on our son, and I didn't realize how tired I was until the giggle woke me from my little cat-nap.

It's a warm spring day today, the wind blowing against my skin feels amazing, the sound of birds chirping and the waves of the Sound behind our home is so relaxing. I love laying in our meadow, it's one of my go-to writing spots.

So exhausted, I close my eyes only to hear the laughter calling my attention once again.

I'd know that little giggle anywhere, it's almost identical to mine. Which means our sweet boy is awake from his nap.

Leaning up on my elbows, I look around and over the tall grass of the meadow until I spot Christian with my sweet baby boy.

Raymond Grey was named after his grandpa Steele. - Ray losing his daughter hurt me to think about, and knowing he was alone, just like I was, nearly gutted me. Since we met, Ray has been a permanent fixture in our lives and the kids think he is my biological father. He loves when they call him Papa Ray and he always has a treat for them when we visit since Grace showed him how to bake cookies. He was overjoyed to learned that Christian and I were planning to name baby number 3 after him.

Christian picks up little Ray and my heart nearly stops when he tosses him into the air. The overwhelming relief I feel when he's safely in his father's arms calms me just enough not to yell at Christian for scaring the daylights out of me. He knows I don't like it when he does that to our children, he nearly dropped Teddy while doing that. Okay, so they were in the pool and Christian was purposely throwing him without catching. But still, a mother's heart can only handle so much.

Before Christian and Ray reach me, I look around again, trying to make sure I'm well hidden and that Ray hasn't seen my location yet. My baby boy loves to play hide and go seek; another game that scares the living daylights out of me. I've told him time and time again, not to hide if I don't know we are playing. Thankfully he's finally starting to listen to that one. He gives security a run for their money, that's for sure.

"Where's mommy, buddy?" Christian asks Ray, knowing as well as I do he is on a mission to find his mama.

"Mommy!" Ray calls out, hoping I will give myself away. I've done I before. But I'm not falling for that little trick again. Last time I spoke up, he found me quicker than a jack rabbit on the fourth of July.

I peek over the tall grass again, smiling as I watch them approach me. I have to bite my lip to keep my giggling at bay. They're both looking around, though Christian knows where I am, and it's not long before Ray sees me.

"There she is!" He cheers happily as he points in my direction.

"Where?" Christian pretends not to see me, but I see him looking right at me with a huge smile on his gorgeous face.

"There! There!" Ray shouts excitedly as he jumps up and down.

He lets Christian's hand go then takes off running like a linebacker ready to tackle the quarterback in the Superbowl. If that makes sense. I know nothing about sports, but with two boys, along with Christian and Elliot, it is something I am going to have to get use to. Especially with Teddy in Junior Tackle.

"Mommy!" Ray squeals, jumping into my arms.

"Careful with mommy, Raymond." Christian gently reminds him.

"He's fine, Christian." I assure him, just like I did when I was pregnant with Phoebe when Teddy wanted all of my attention.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Grey?" He sits beside me and kisses my lips.

"Mmmm." I moan quietly. I love when he refers to me as Mrs. Grey. It's only ever been me and it will only ever be me.

"Exhausted." I yawn. "Maybe I should've napped with Ray instead of eating a second lunch with you."

Christian reaches around Ray, who is still sitting in my lap, and places his hand on my stomach.

I look down and smile at my very noticeable bump.

Our due date is only a few weeks away, all the kids are excited to have a new sibling but not nearly as excited as I am. _This is number four!_ _I am ready for this kid to be evicted._

Christian and I both agreed after I gave birth to Phoebe that I would get on birth control, because it felt good making love bare while I was pregnant, and the only time we've went bare was while I was pregnant. We didn't want to go back to using condoms as our method for birth control for that reason but we didn't want to get pregnant again either, at least not so soon, however, at my final check up, the doctor announced we were expecting again. _Talk about heart failure!_

So after Ray was born, we were _extremely_ careful until I could go on birth control. With this little one growing inside of me now, my shot ran out. I swear, it's true when they say the only 100% method of birth control there is, is abstinence. But with a man like Christian, who is not only the sexiest man alive, but also a man who introduced me to all kinds of hot, kinky sex, that is simply not possible. Perhaps we should consider a more permanent method, this is our forth child.

Christian's hand is still on my bump when I feel our baby moving around. It's the most incredible feeling in the world, I loved it with each one of my babies and missed the feeling after they were born.

Suddenly, as if I've been slapped with a stick, I get a moment of Deja-voo. This has happened before, I know it. Or has it?

I start to overthink, trying to remember. _Why does this feel so familiar?_

"Baby is ready to come out." Christian announces as he feels our baby move.

"I think we're more ready than the baby is." I laugh.

"Only a few more weeks." Christian smiles. "I can't wait."

He is, without a doubt, the most amazing father. I know he was worried when Phoebe was born because she was a girl, but he's been amazing with her. Of course, the dreaded teenage years are still to come, so who knows what will happen when she finally starts dating. She and Ava are the only girls so their boyfriends have to go through their dads, their granddads, along with Teddy and little Ray. I wonder if we're having another boy, it'll be just the girls' luck.

Just like when I was pregnant with Phoebe, this baby refuses to show us the goods on the ultrasound machine. It's made us consider this baby might be a girl as well, but we're merely guessing. This time, however, we are looking at both gender names, although we still can't decide on a name. It would make things easier if we knew which gender to focus on.

It hits me like a brick; the reason this all feels so familiar is because I dreamt it. Except I thought Ray was Teddy. The first night I slept with Christian, I had a dream. In my dream, everything that is happening now, happened in my dream. Though now I'm thinking it wasn't a dream, more like a vision of the future. Because everything, every little detail, it's exactly like my dream. But in my dream, we knew we were having a girl.

It has to be a sign so I tell Christian.

"It's a girl." I grin. "I know it's a girl."

"I know you and Phoebe are set on having another girl around, but it could be a boy, baby."

"No, Christian." I shake my head. "You don't understand. It _is_ a girl."

"Baby, we thought Phoebe was a boy until she was born."

"I know it's a girl because I've dreamed of this before." I explain, probably sounding like some sort of crazy person.

"You dreamed we were having a girl?"

"Yes, awhile back. And you've made every one of my dreams come true thus far."

The way Christian's face lights up when he smiles is enough to make me swoon. _Can a girl lust after her own husband?_

"What are we going to name her?" He asks.

"How about Grace? Or Gracie." I suggest. "Your mother would be thrilled and it would continue with the theme of naming our babies after their grandparents who mean so much to us."

"My mother would be thrilled." He agrees. "But what are we going to do if we have another baby later on? We're running out of grandparents."

"Oh, no." I laugh while shaking my head. "This baby factory is shutting down for business. Four is enough. More than."

"I was actually thinking of trying for twins."

"Twins?!" I shout at his joke. Because he has to be joking. _SIX kids?!_ "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm happy." He laughs, correcting me. "Are you happy, baby?"

"Yes." I answer truthfully as I wrap my arms around Ray, who is now playing with his father's phone.

I'm the happiest I've ever been, all thanks to Teddy and his father.

I never expected to find love on the run. But I know this isn't over, far from it, because a true love story... never ends.

 **The End**

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this story and thanks for overlooking any errors that slipped passed my attempt at editing.**

 **I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read my stories, reviewed them, favorited me, followed me,  
because it is much appreciated and encouraged me to continue writing.  
I'm not sure when you will see another story from me...  
** **But in the meantime, you can find me on Facebook in the _FSoG Fanfic Obsessed_ group that lanieloveu  & I created.**  
 **  
Thanks again to everyone.**  
 **Until Laters,**

 ** _{SdaisyS}_**


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